what would you think about the day
before you die if you could look into
the future and predict with absolute
certainty how you’d feel about all of
the life that you led what would you do
differently today three years ago I had
my answer to that question answered in a
brutal and a painful way and it’s that
story that I want to share today and I
hope that through my story I’ll be able
to help some or all of you answer that
question before the day comes we need to
ask you of yourself my name is Pat Rene
I grew up in the UK and I moved to
Poland in 2010 to be with my then
girlfriend Joanna that relationship
didn’t work out but as we slowly fell
out of love with each other I fell in
love with Poland why Poland it’s a
question that everybody especially
Polish people always ask the truth is I
always felt that I didn’t choose Poland
Poland chose me something about this
country which is fought for freedom and
against oppression and injustice for
hundreds of years just inspired me
something about the Polish people who in
less than a quarter of a century have
rebuilt a crippled economy into one of
the world’s biggest economies inspired
me and from the moment that I set foot
on polish soil for the first time in
2007 I always have this feeling
somewhere that I was going to be a
little part opponents future you know
being an immigrant is tough when you
come to a new country you don’t speak
the language you haven’t got a job you
have any friends got no money it’s a
real challenge and you find out who you
really really are because you only can
rely on yourself
and that’s why immigrants work so hard
it’s simple they have no choice so
living in Poland I felt this deep need
to communicate my story and I started a
blog first of all in English about my
life in Poland and then I started to
blog in Polish my name is a way of
testing my written polish skills which
are still a bit ropey but luckily we’re
not checking that today at one day on
the 11th of November 2014 I sat down to
write a blog in Polish about Poland I
didn’t know what I was gonna write and
instead of a blog a poem just came out
of me I didn’t plan to write it I know
that I wrote it but I can’t say that it
was entirely written by me tamiya´s
polska vladat sia historia yet notched
Shasu necklace starship casino combina
Vanya najuk Anya Serafini ship Iranian
Mehldau Vanya Virginia just faint we may
oppo Dima she could see me pot queer may
Japan meantime me and that poem I then
recorded a year later and put it up on
Facebook and YouTube
I mean in the space of about two weeks
that film had about a million views and
I had people writing to me from Poland
and across the Diaspora telling me that
it made them laugh and then later on
they made them cry and had thousands of
people telling me that you know I was
amazing but I was amazing and that felt
really really good for the first time in
a long time I felt like hey maybe it
wasn’t a stupid decision to come to this
country maybe it makes sense a few weeks
later I recorded this film about
divisions in Polish society asking the
question why is it that we are so
divided as a nation and that film got 5
and a half million views on Facebook and
YouTube and again thousands of people
writing to me saying it was something
that had really touched them so at that
point in my life I realized that yeah
I’m pretty good at this it’s nice
getting this feeling when people write
to me it’s amazing being able to touch
so many people’s lives even if only for
a moment and maybe this is my purpose
and and my passion
however when your video content creator
does anyone here create video content
yeah so you know and you know and you
know that when you produce a video
you’re only really as good as your last
video and if it sucks you’re kind of
sitting there thinking damn I’ve got to
do another one and the likes go away the
comments go away the shares go away and
you feel a little bit empty inside and
you’ve always got that hunger to do more
– am i right yeah yeah I’ve seen nothing
hits the problem is that you end up
doing anything basically just to keep
the show going and at a certain point in
my video career I started doing content
like this it’s recently come to my
attention the Polish animal noises are a
bit strange
I own that pig by the way it’s called
Percy I actually quite liked that video
but it got sixty thousand views on
Facebook by the way so if you guys are
looking for inspiration you can go with
something like that but it’s not
something I’m necessarily going to be
very proud of and then one day I went to
the pub to watch the poker Polsky
between Legia Warsaw and Dick Bosman I
couldn’t get a ticket and I think come
home I regained consciousness in the
emergency room of a neurosurgical ward
and I was tired I was confused I was
disorientated to know what had happened
and the doctors came to me and explained
that I’d been attacked and that I had a
severely fractured skull they’d hit me
with some kind of blunt instrument on
the side of their head when a skull
you get tears in the arteries inside
your skull and those arteries start to
bleed and that blood has to go somewhere
but there is no somewhere in between
your skull and your brain that place
doesn’t exist so the blood starts to
coagulate come together pull and get
thicker and wider and in my case the
blood that was starting to grow there
which we call a hematoma was 6
centimeters wide 2 centimeters deep
and pressing and pressing onto my brain
and the doctors explained that when this
blood is pushing onto your brain it’s
not supposed to be there it causes all
sorts of brain damage movement problems
speech problems memory problems not a
pleasant experience so I’m lying there
in this hospital and I’m super lucky
that I even survived the attack but I’ve
got this hematoma pressing on my brain
that at any second could damage me
permanently and the doctors suggested
waiting for 10 days to see whether this
hematoma would dissipate dissolve
disappear and after 10 days that hadn’t
happened so then they gave me a choice
option a you can go home Patrick and you
can wait it out basically it might take
a few months but eventually this
hematoma might dissolve but if you have
any problems with your movement or your
speech or your memory or anything like
that just come back on in to the
hospital didn’t sound like a really
attractive offer option B you can have a
craniotomy that’s where they remove a
section of the skull with an electric
drill and then suction out the hematoma
replace the skull it’s major surgery
it’s on the brain is not a joke so that
so what would you do
option a wait or option B take the
operation so whilst I’m lying there in
this hospital and I’m I’m lucky to have
made it for the attack you can imagine
that I spend a lot of time thinking and
it hit me like a bolt as remember exact
moment I was lying there and I thought
you know what I all of the stuff that I
was doing all of the work that I was
obsessed about before this attack the
amount of money I earn the tasks I had
to do the battles I had to win at work
none of that mattered at that particular
moment the only thing that mattered were
the people I loved my friends and my
family my little brother Jeremy who
lived in the US he couldn’t just drop
everything and fly over my nephew Sam
who was one and a half you know I had to
think am I ever gonna see this beautiful
boy again my parents I just wanted to to
hold them to see him again to smell them
to touch their hands and all of that
could have been robbed from me because
of that experience so there’s the choice
option a wait option B take the
operation and it hit me like a diamond
it was so clear to me then that the most
important thing to me in that moment was
love the strength and the power of love
but which I mean the power in the
strength of the relationships that we
have between us I was lying in that
hospital bed and in a room with 4 other
men and as I had this realization as
this truth came to me is this absolute
truth his absolute clarity came to me I
understood for the first time that I
loved them
I loved these strangers and I loved
their families and I loved the doctors
and I loved the nurses and I realized
then it was so obvious in fact it was in
front of me at the time I just never
seen it before that we are all connected
by the power of love and as you sit here
today I can assure you that we are all
connected to one another by the power of
love there was the truth for me it was
as simple as clear as day
I just never seen it before so what
would you do
option A or option B well I prefer to
take action so in the end I chose option
B I wasn’t sure if I was going to be
able to make it out and if I did make it
out if I’d be the same person it’s
plenty of risks associated as major
surgery it’s traumatic surgery so I
wrote my farewell letters I said my
goodbyes I made peace with myself
and I swore but if I made out in one
piece they’ll never forget that moment
that beautiful moment of clarity my
trust in the faith and power of love I
would never forget that moment well as
you can see um I’m still here I made it
out alive
a year later my daughter Sofia was born
two years later I married the love of my
life
Maya three years later we’re having our
second kid so we’ve been busy and we’re
moving house and because of all those
beautiful things that happened from that
moment when people asked me if I would
do anything differently if I wouldn’t go
to the pub I actually say no there’s no
way in hell I would ever exchange that
experience for anyone there’s so many
beautiful things have happened to me
since then so many beautiful things
I’m so very very glad to be alive I can
tell you and I went home I saw the sky
again I saw the colors again so the
sounds of life again and slowly but
surely that that feeling of certainty
that feeling of truth just left me it
just faded into the background and I
went back to the to-do list I went back
to the emails I went back to work I went
back to filming I recorded a film about
the cavalry captain Vito beletsky who
volunteered to go into house wits I got
9 and a half million views on Facebook
again thousands of people writing to me
telling me how wonderful I was telling
me how wonderful the film was but
constantly in the back of my mind his
guilt
because it had that moment of absolute
clarity and absolute precision
and I knew that I wasn’t living up to to
that particular moment then one day I
met a man called Peter and what Peter
and all the other coaches who I’ve
worked with since that incident have
helped me to understand is it the reason
why I was making these films was mostly
driven by my need for significance my
need to feel wanted my need to feel
valued and Peter helped me to understand
in just one meeting but I didn’t need
any of that that didn’t need to guide me
that didn’t need to drive me that wasn’t
the reason why I was fighting so hard
every day working so hard to produce
these films the experience that I’ve
gone through had given me a North Star
it had given me a true purpose and I
only needed to be faithful to that
purpose to live my life in a better way
so now the films that I make they have
to have a higher intent they have to in
some way help other people to improve
and strengthen their connections their
relationships and just create love and
if I can only do that one thing just
that one thing then when I come to the
and I asked myself the question was it
worth it this time I hope the answer
will be yes what would you think about
the day before you died I want everybody
in the room now to take a private moment
and just ask themselves that very
is the good news my friends you already
know the answer to that question the
only question remaining is are you ready
to listen to that answer thank you very much
before you die if you could look into
the future and predict with absolute
certainty how you’d feel about all of
the life that you led what would you do
differently today three years ago I had
my answer to that question answered in a
brutal and a painful way and it’s that
story that I want to share today and I
hope that through my story I’ll be able
to help some or all of you answer that
question before the day comes we need to
ask you of yourself my name is Pat Rene
I grew up in the UK and I moved to
Poland in 2010 to be with my then
girlfriend Joanna that relationship
didn’t work out but as we slowly fell
out of love with each other I fell in
love with Poland why Poland it’s a
question that everybody especially
Polish people always ask the truth is I
always felt that I didn’t choose Poland
Poland chose me something about this
country which is fought for freedom and
against oppression and injustice for
hundreds of years just inspired me
something about the Polish people who in
less than a quarter of a century have
rebuilt a crippled economy into one of
the world’s biggest economies inspired
me and from the moment that I set foot
on polish soil for the first time in
2007 I always have this feeling
somewhere that I was going to be a
little part opponents future you know
being an immigrant is tough when you
come to a new country you don’t speak
the language you haven’t got a job you
have any friends got no money it’s a
real challenge and you find out who you
really really are because you only can
rely on yourself
and that’s why immigrants work so hard
it’s simple they have no choice so
living in Poland I felt this deep need
to communicate my story and I started a
blog first of all in English about my
life in Poland and then I started to
blog in Polish my name is a way of
testing my written polish skills which
are still a bit ropey but luckily we’re
not checking that today at one day on
the 11th of November 2014 I sat down to
write a blog in Polish about Poland I
didn’t know what I was gonna write and
instead of a blog a poem just came out
of me I didn’t plan to write it I know
that I wrote it but I can’t say that it
was entirely written by me tamiya´s
polska vladat sia historia yet notched
Shasu necklace starship casino combina
Vanya najuk Anya Serafini ship Iranian
Mehldau Vanya Virginia just faint we may
oppo Dima she could see me pot queer may
Japan meantime me and that poem I then
recorded a year later and put it up on
Facebook and YouTube
I mean in the space of about two weeks
that film had about a million views and
I had people writing to me from Poland
and across the Diaspora telling me that
it made them laugh and then later on
they made them cry and had thousands of
people telling me that you know I was
amazing but I was amazing and that felt
really really good for the first time in
a long time I felt like hey maybe it
wasn’t a stupid decision to come to this
country maybe it makes sense a few weeks
later I recorded this film about
divisions in Polish society asking the
question why is it that we are so
divided as a nation and that film got 5
and a half million views on Facebook and
YouTube and again thousands of people
writing to me saying it was something
that had really touched them so at that
point in my life I realized that yeah
I’m pretty good at this it’s nice
getting this feeling when people write
to me it’s amazing being able to touch
so many people’s lives even if only for
a moment and maybe this is my purpose
and and my passion
however when your video content creator
does anyone here create video content
yeah so you know and you know and you
know that when you produce a video
you’re only really as good as your last
video and if it sucks you’re kind of
sitting there thinking damn I’ve got to
do another one and the likes go away the
comments go away the shares go away and
you feel a little bit empty inside and
you’ve always got that hunger to do more
– am i right yeah yeah I’ve seen nothing
hits the problem is that you end up
doing anything basically just to keep
the show going and at a certain point in
my video career I started doing content
like this it’s recently come to my
attention the Polish animal noises are a
bit strange
I own that pig by the way it’s called
Percy I actually quite liked that video
but it got sixty thousand views on
Facebook by the way so if you guys are
looking for inspiration you can go with
something like that but it’s not
something I’m necessarily going to be
very proud of and then one day I went to
the pub to watch the poker Polsky
between Legia Warsaw and Dick Bosman I
couldn’t get a ticket and I think come
home I regained consciousness in the
emergency room of a neurosurgical ward
and I was tired I was confused I was
disorientated to know what had happened
and the doctors came to me and explained
that I’d been attacked and that I had a
severely fractured skull they’d hit me
with some kind of blunt instrument on
the side of their head when a skull
you get tears in the arteries inside
your skull and those arteries start to
bleed and that blood has to go somewhere
but there is no somewhere in between
your skull and your brain that place
doesn’t exist so the blood starts to
coagulate come together pull and get
thicker and wider and in my case the
blood that was starting to grow there
which we call a hematoma was 6
centimeters wide 2 centimeters deep
and pressing and pressing onto my brain
and the doctors explained that when this
blood is pushing onto your brain it’s
not supposed to be there it causes all
sorts of brain damage movement problems
speech problems memory problems not a
pleasant experience so I’m lying there
in this hospital and I’m super lucky
that I even survived the attack but I’ve
got this hematoma pressing on my brain
that at any second could damage me
permanently and the doctors suggested
waiting for 10 days to see whether this
hematoma would dissipate dissolve
disappear and after 10 days that hadn’t
happened so then they gave me a choice
option a you can go home Patrick and you
can wait it out basically it might take
a few months but eventually this
hematoma might dissolve but if you have
any problems with your movement or your
speech or your memory or anything like
that just come back on in to the
hospital didn’t sound like a really
attractive offer option B you can have a
craniotomy that’s where they remove a
section of the skull with an electric
drill and then suction out the hematoma
replace the skull it’s major surgery
it’s on the brain is not a joke so that
so what would you do
option a wait or option B take the
operation so whilst I’m lying there in
this hospital and I’m I’m lucky to have
made it for the attack you can imagine
that I spend a lot of time thinking and
it hit me like a bolt as remember exact
moment I was lying there and I thought
you know what I all of the stuff that I
was doing all of the work that I was
obsessed about before this attack the
amount of money I earn the tasks I had
to do the battles I had to win at work
none of that mattered at that particular
moment the only thing that mattered were
the people I loved my friends and my
family my little brother Jeremy who
lived in the US he couldn’t just drop
everything and fly over my nephew Sam
who was one and a half you know I had to
think am I ever gonna see this beautiful
boy again my parents I just wanted to to
hold them to see him again to smell them
to touch their hands and all of that
could have been robbed from me because
of that experience so there’s the choice
option a wait option B take the
operation and it hit me like a diamond
it was so clear to me then that the most
important thing to me in that moment was
love the strength and the power of love
but which I mean the power in the
strength of the relationships that we
have between us I was lying in that
hospital bed and in a room with 4 other
men and as I had this realization as
this truth came to me is this absolute
truth his absolute clarity came to me I
understood for the first time that I
loved them
I loved these strangers and I loved
their families and I loved the doctors
and I loved the nurses and I realized
then it was so obvious in fact it was in
front of me at the time I just never
seen it before that we are all connected
by the power of love and as you sit here
today I can assure you that we are all
connected to one another by the power of
love there was the truth for me it was
as simple as clear as day
I just never seen it before so what
would you do
option A or option B well I prefer to
take action so in the end I chose option
B I wasn’t sure if I was going to be
able to make it out and if I did make it
out if I’d be the same person it’s
plenty of risks associated as major
surgery it’s traumatic surgery so I
wrote my farewell letters I said my
goodbyes I made peace with myself
and I swore but if I made out in one
piece they’ll never forget that moment
that beautiful moment of clarity my
trust in the faith and power of love I
would never forget that moment well as
you can see um I’m still here I made it
out alive
a year later my daughter Sofia was born
two years later I married the love of my
life
Maya three years later we’re having our
second kid so we’ve been busy and we’re
moving house and because of all those
beautiful things that happened from that
moment when people asked me if I would
do anything differently if I wouldn’t go
to the pub I actually say no there’s no
way in hell I would ever exchange that
experience for anyone there’s so many
beautiful things have happened to me
since then so many beautiful things
I’m so very very glad to be alive I can
tell you and I went home I saw the sky
again I saw the colors again so the
sounds of life again and slowly but
surely that that feeling of certainty
that feeling of truth just left me it
just faded into the background and I
went back to the to-do list I went back
to the emails I went back to work I went
back to filming I recorded a film about
the cavalry captain Vito beletsky who
volunteered to go into house wits I got
9 and a half million views on Facebook
again thousands of people writing to me
telling me how wonderful I was telling
me how wonderful the film was but
constantly in the back of my mind his
guilt
because it had that moment of absolute
clarity and absolute precision
and I knew that I wasn’t living up to to
that particular moment then one day I
met a man called Peter and what Peter
and all the other coaches who I’ve
worked with since that incident have
helped me to understand is it the reason
why I was making these films was mostly
driven by my need for significance my
need to feel wanted my need to feel
valued and Peter helped me to understand
in just one meeting but I didn’t need
any of that that didn’t need to guide me
that didn’t need to drive me that wasn’t
the reason why I was fighting so hard
every day working so hard to produce
these films the experience that I’ve
gone through had given me a North Star
it had given me a true purpose and I
only needed to be faithful to that
purpose to live my life in a better way
so now the films that I make they have
to have a higher intent they have to in
some way help other people to improve
and strengthen their connections their
relationships and just create love and
if I can only do that one thing just
that one thing then when I come to the
and I asked myself the question was it
worth it this time I hope the answer
will be yes what would you think about
the day before you died I want everybody
in the room now to take a private moment
and just ask themselves that very
is the good news my friends you already
know the answer to that question the
only question remaining is are you ready
to listen to that answer thank you very much
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