Wow I’m so grateful to be here with all
of you today in my chosen hometown of
San Diego talking about my favorite
subject stress now I know that probably
sounds a little bit crazy to you
not the San Diego part but the stress
part but it’s true I actually love
stress but that was not always the case
see I grew up with an anxiety condition
and I’ve had it since I can remember it
started when I was really young
triggering headaches and then
stomachaches and then quickly turned
into panic attacks and actual fainting
episodes I can still remember several
different situations being at doctor’s
appointments trying to figure out what
was wrong with me and I would actually
pass out at some point during my
appointment and then a couple days later
they would call and give me the good
news that there was nothing actually
wrong with me well if you’ve ever had
something wrong with you and then been
given the good news that there’s nothing
wrong with you you know how stressful
this can be so I figured if stress was
my problem I really didn’t have any
choice but to try to find some sort of
cure and I explored all of the angles
starting with psychology and the
nutrition exercise physiology and
neuroscience and no matter how much
smarter I became about stress I still
really struggled to get it under control
in fact I found myself getting more and
more frustrated because I would look at
all of this great data and research
talking about the benefits of stress and
the upsides of stress and here I was
with all of this great information and I
couldn’t figure out how to tap into the
benefits without feeling totally
overwhelmed by the pressure so let me
give you a personal example of how this
actually shows up in my life I moved to
San Diego and chose this spot in
particular because I love being by the
ocean there’s something just really
calming and soothing to me about being
near the water but ever since I was a
young child I have the craziest reaction
every time I get just close enough to
actually put my feet in the water so let
and then just
I get close enough to actually put my
foot in the water I start to hear these
sounds okay there it is this is not a
joke
this actually happens to me every time I
get close to going in the ocean by any
chance is there anyone else who’s ever
had this experience before
well how about right now as you hear
those sounds does it trigger any sort of
reaction for you
well this is my stress reaction my
fingers start to sweat a little bit and
my heart starts to race and I feel like
I can’t quite catch my breath it’s a lot
like every time I get ready to give a
presentation or get on an airplane
actually but here’s my point we all
experience stress in different ways for
different reasons but there’s one thing
that each of us has in common the
majority of the time the way that we
react to stress is primal being fueled
by the lower level functions of our
highly developed brain what I mean is we
experience a cue like music in this case
that triggers a reaction well before we
label it with any sort of conscious
thought and the human brain is designed
in a very specific way to process
patterns of energy and information in a
specific hierarchy first sensing and
then feeling and then thinking in an
effort to try to help us survive
ironically not too long ago I ended up
watching a movie about Steven Spielberg
and they were talking about the movie
Jaws and the fact that were horrified of
this shark that we hardly ever actually
see on screen the audio team was so
talented they were able to create this
horrifying experience solely based on
sound
alone and it turns out that many times
what we can’t see is way more scary than
what we can see well I feel like a lot
of life is like that today we end up
picking up these non-conscious cues from
our environment
some of them obvious like media and
technology and our workload constantly
overwhelming us but some of them really
subtle like how busy we are and how we
rush around all of the time and how we
pass our stress off to one another it’s
like we’re constantly sensing that we’re
not safe and feeling like we don’t have
enough time or energy or money to deal
with all the demands in our life but
instead of actually looking at what’s
happening in the water we just try to
build a bigger boat minimize it manage
it and hope it goes away so we minimize
stress by blaming it on someone or
something else or we hide and hope that
it goes away or we justify not doing
anything with it because there’s so many
people around the world that have it
worse than we do and so we should just
let it go but we don’t without actually
doing something with the energy and
information stress provides we just push
it down into our own system where we
start to embody the sensation of stress
and something that was designed to
mobilize action turns into inflammation
causing internal wear and tear and
unfortunately making us feel sick and
tired and too often times to act stupid
and even mean it’s kind of like we’re
taking the stress mess and trying to
brush it off to the side and pretend
like it’s not there but we carry it
around with us all day long and if we’re
not careful it spills out to affect
everyone around us but what if there is
a better way to navigate our experiences
of stress what if instead of trying to
minimize it or manage it away we
actually
looked into it and learned from it and
then actually used it to fuel some sort
of positive change
what if stressing really is a blessing
once we know how to use it for good well
if we’re gonna do that the first thing
we need to do is actually stop take a
breath and assess what’s really
happening and understand what it is
we’re talking about when we’re talking
about this idea of stress and the first
thing we need to know is that stress is
just what happens when demand exceeds
capacity it’s not good or bad but we
could think about it as being like
energy potential that we could use in
positive or negative ways so when I
suggest that we try to find a cure for
stress I’m not saying that we try to get
rid of it which is a good thing because
we all know that’s never going to happen
but that we learn how to use it and
navigate our experience of stress more
effectively because stress itself is not
the problem it’s our relationship with
stress that needs to be fixed and
fortunately for all of us the human
brain is hardwired with these
higher-level capacities things like
curiosity and creativity and
collaboration that allow us to use
stress and actually adjust and adapt and
grow stronger but when we’re constantly
stuck reacting those same capacities
start to go offline I’m sure you’ve all
heard of your stress response being
described as what I call the four FS of
fear fight flight freeze or faint but
despite what we’ve all been taught this
is not our stress response
these are stress reactions a response is
what happens when we actually stop and
assess the situation and then decide how
we want to proceed and it may not seem
like a big difference just a word react
versus respond but the words we use
actually shaped the way we see our
experiences and in this case a reaction
is something that happens to us and a
response is something that happens for
us and our greatest asset for survival
as humans is our ability to stop and
think and respond see the lion may fight
and the cheetah may run the cat may
freeze and the mouse may faint and play
dead
these animals are accessing their
greatest resources to help them survive
a potential threat so as humans when we
do that not only do we internalize this
unused energy and information but
reactions just lead to more reactions so
we wake up in the morning feeling like
we’ll never have enough time to get it
all done and we constantly multitask
putting out fires pushing around papers
and going and going and going until we
finally get to the end of the day tired
and wired at the same time and unable to
sleep and then when we do have a moment
to catch our breath we react to this
strange sensation of stillness by
quickly grabbing our digital devices to
kill time and my least favorite of all
is this awful game of email hot potato
that we all seem to play with each other
where we sense that we’re never gonna
have enough time and so we just react by
batting emails around and around and
around and wasting time and energy and
never thinking about if we need to hit
reply all and we know better so why
aren’t we doing better
why is common sense so seldom common
practice well let’s go back to the shark
that worked I’ll try that next side
let’s go back to the shark in the water
for a moment no matter how many times I
try to convince myself that there is no
shark in the water which is not actually
true or that the shark probably won’t
hurt me
which is not necessarily true either or
that I’m a really good swimmer
which is true but not really relevant in
this case no matter how many times I
logically try to convince myself to
respond differently to going in the
water if I’m reacting my experience is
still the same so the only way I’m
actually going in the water is if I
sense that I’m safe and I feel
interested and here’s where I think we
may actually find a potential cure for
our unmanaged chronic everyday stress
and it’s a hardwired human capacity
we’ve all had from the moment we were
born that helped us to navigate
challenges and change effectively and
it’s our ability to be curious because
when we shift to a state of curiosity
everything changes the primal parts of
our brain actually start to calm and
quiet down because we wouldn’t allow
ourselves to explore if we were actually
in danger at the same time the lens
through which we see our circumstances
changes and we start to notice patterns
of energy and information in new ways
that we can use so that it can help us
instead of hurting us see if we look at
a picture of a brain that’s stressed and
compare it to one that’s curious we see
dramatically different images the stress
brain starts to shut down and protect
itself relying on survival based
reactions that have worked in the past
but the curious brain is open interested
willing to look at new possibilities and
from this place we can actually learn
from our experiences and even grow from
our
steak’s see I believe that the more we
practice getting into this state of
curiosity the more we can actually
develop a new human stress response so
instead of having to fight or flight or
freeze or faint we can practice what I
like to call question and consider where
we stop and we ask the important
questions like why is this really
happening right now or what is it that I
need in this moment and then we consider
possibilities like how might this
experience be helping me to grow
stronger or how might the lessons I’m
learning now helps someone else in the
future see I believe that the more we
practice looking at life through the
lens of curiosity the more flexible and
adaptable we can be to an ever-changing
world and the more we learn how to use
the energy and the information that
stress provides us to actually fuel some
sort of positive change the more we can
talk to each other and listen to each
other and actually work together to
create better solutions for our
stressful lives and from this state a
state of curiosity stressing can
actually be a blessing and now when we
know better we’re finally able to do better thank you
of you today in my chosen hometown of
San Diego talking about my favorite
subject stress now I know that probably
sounds a little bit crazy to you
not the San Diego part but the stress
part but it’s true I actually love
stress but that was not always the case
see I grew up with an anxiety condition
and I’ve had it since I can remember it
started when I was really young
triggering headaches and then
stomachaches and then quickly turned
into panic attacks and actual fainting
episodes I can still remember several
different situations being at doctor’s
appointments trying to figure out what
was wrong with me and I would actually
pass out at some point during my
appointment and then a couple days later
they would call and give me the good
news that there was nothing actually
wrong with me well if you’ve ever had
something wrong with you and then been
given the good news that there’s nothing
wrong with you you know how stressful
this can be so I figured if stress was
my problem I really didn’t have any
choice but to try to find some sort of
cure and I explored all of the angles
starting with psychology and the
nutrition exercise physiology and
neuroscience and no matter how much
smarter I became about stress I still
really struggled to get it under control
in fact I found myself getting more and
more frustrated because I would look at
all of this great data and research
talking about the benefits of stress and
the upsides of stress and here I was
with all of this great information and I
couldn’t figure out how to tap into the
benefits without feeling totally
overwhelmed by the pressure so let me
give you a personal example of how this
actually shows up in my life I moved to
San Diego and chose this spot in
particular because I love being by the
ocean there’s something just really
calming and soothing to me about being
near the water but ever since I was a
young child I have the craziest reaction
every time I get just close enough to
actually put my feet in the water so let
and then just
I get close enough to actually put my
foot in the water I start to hear these
sounds okay there it is this is not a
joke
this actually happens to me every time I
get close to going in the ocean by any
chance is there anyone else who’s ever
had this experience before
well how about right now as you hear
those sounds does it trigger any sort of
reaction for you
well this is my stress reaction my
fingers start to sweat a little bit and
my heart starts to race and I feel like
I can’t quite catch my breath it’s a lot
like every time I get ready to give a
presentation or get on an airplane
actually but here’s my point we all
experience stress in different ways for
different reasons but there’s one thing
that each of us has in common the
majority of the time the way that we
react to stress is primal being fueled
by the lower level functions of our
highly developed brain what I mean is we
experience a cue like music in this case
that triggers a reaction well before we
label it with any sort of conscious
thought and the human brain is designed
in a very specific way to process
patterns of energy and information in a
specific hierarchy first sensing and
then feeling and then thinking in an
effort to try to help us survive
ironically not too long ago I ended up
watching a movie about Steven Spielberg
and they were talking about the movie
Jaws and the fact that were horrified of
this shark that we hardly ever actually
see on screen the audio team was so
talented they were able to create this
horrifying experience solely based on
sound
alone and it turns out that many times
what we can’t see is way more scary than
what we can see well I feel like a lot
of life is like that today we end up
picking up these non-conscious cues from
our environment
some of them obvious like media and
technology and our workload constantly
overwhelming us but some of them really
subtle like how busy we are and how we
rush around all of the time and how we
pass our stress off to one another it’s
like we’re constantly sensing that we’re
not safe and feeling like we don’t have
enough time or energy or money to deal
with all the demands in our life but
instead of actually looking at what’s
happening in the water we just try to
build a bigger boat minimize it manage
it and hope it goes away so we minimize
stress by blaming it on someone or
something else or we hide and hope that
it goes away or we justify not doing
anything with it because there’s so many
people around the world that have it
worse than we do and so we should just
let it go but we don’t without actually
doing something with the energy and
information stress provides we just push
it down into our own system where we
start to embody the sensation of stress
and something that was designed to
mobilize action turns into inflammation
causing internal wear and tear and
unfortunately making us feel sick and
tired and too often times to act stupid
and even mean it’s kind of like we’re
taking the stress mess and trying to
brush it off to the side and pretend
like it’s not there but we carry it
around with us all day long and if we’re
not careful it spills out to affect
everyone around us but what if there is
a better way to navigate our experiences
of stress what if instead of trying to
minimize it or manage it away we
actually
looked into it and learned from it and
then actually used it to fuel some sort
of positive change
what if stressing really is a blessing
once we know how to use it for good well
if we’re gonna do that the first thing
we need to do is actually stop take a
breath and assess what’s really
happening and understand what it is
we’re talking about when we’re talking
about this idea of stress and the first
thing we need to know is that stress is
just what happens when demand exceeds
capacity it’s not good or bad but we
could think about it as being like
energy potential that we could use in
positive or negative ways so when I
suggest that we try to find a cure for
stress I’m not saying that we try to get
rid of it which is a good thing because
we all know that’s never going to happen
but that we learn how to use it and
navigate our experience of stress more
effectively because stress itself is not
the problem it’s our relationship with
stress that needs to be fixed and
fortunately for all of us the human
brain is hardwired with these
higher-level capacities things like
curiosity and creativity and
collaboration that allow us to use
stress and actually adjust and adapt and
grow stronger but when we’re constantly
stuck reacting those same capacities
start to go offline I’m sure you’ve all
heard of your stress response being
described as what I call the four FS of
fear fight flight freeze or faint but
despite what we’ve all been taught this
is not our stress response
these are stress reactions a response is
what happens when we actually stop and
assess the situation and then decide how
we want to proceed and it may not seem
like a big difference just a word react
versus respond but the words we use
actually shaped the way we see our
experiences and in this case a reaction
is something that happens to us and a
response is something that happens for
us and our greatest asset for survival
as humans is our ability to stop and
think and respond see the lion may fight
and the cheetah may run the cat may
freeze and the mouse may faint and play
dead
these animals are accessing their
greatest resources to help them survive
a potential threat so as humans when we
do that not only do we internalize this
unused energy and information but
reactions just lead to more reactions so
we wake up in the morning feeling like
we’ll never have enough time to get it
all done and we constantly multitask
putting out fires pushing around papers
and going and going and going until we
finally get to the end of the day tired
and wired at the same time and unable to
sleep and then when we do have a moment
to catch our breath we react to this
strange sensation of stillness by
quickly grabbing our digital devices to
kill time and my least favorite of all
is this awful game of email hot potato
that we all seem to play with each other
where we sense that we’re never gonna
have enough time and so we just react by
batting emails around and around and
around and wasting time and energy and
never thinking about if we need to hit
reply all and we know better so why
aren’t we doing better
why is common sense so seldom common
practice well let’s go back to the shark
that worked I’ll try that next side
let’s go back to the shark in the water
for a moment no matter how many times I
try to convince myself that there is no
shark in the water which is not actually
true or that the shark probably won’t
hurt me
which is not necessarily true either or
that I’m a really good swimmer
which is true but not really relevant in
this case no matter how many times I
logically try to convince myself to
respond differently to going in the
water if I’m reacting my experience is
still the same so the only way I’m
actually going in the water is if I
sense that I’m safe and I feel
interested and here’s where I think we
may actually find a potential cure for
our unmanaged chronic everyday stress
and it’s a hardwired human capacity
we’ve all had from the moment we were
born that helped us to navigate
challenges and change effectively and
it’s our ability to be curious because
when we shift to a state of curiosity
everything changes the primal parts of
our brain actually start to calm and
quiet down because we wouldn’t allow
ourselves to explore if we were actually
in danger at the same time the lens
through which we see our circumstances
changes and we start to notice patterns
of energy and information in new ways
that we can use so that it can help us
instead of hurting us see if we look at
a picture of a brain that’s stressed and
compare it to one that’s curious we see
dramatically different images the stress
brain starts to shut down and protect
itself relying on survival based
reactions that have worked in the past
but the curious brain is open interested
willing to look at new possibilities and
from this place we can actually learn
from our experiences and even grow from
our
steak’s see I believe that the more we
practice getting into this state of
curiosity the more we can actually
develop a new human stress response so
instead of having to fight or flight or
freeze or faint we can practice what I
like to call question and consider where
we stop and we ask the important
questions like why is this really
happening right now or what is it that I
need in this moment and then we consider
possibilities like how might this
experience be helping me to grow
stronger or how might the lessons I’m
learning now helps someone else in the
future see I believe that the more we
practice looking at life through the
lens of curiosity the more flexible and
adaptable we can be to an ever-changing
world and the more we learn how to use
the energy and the information that
stress provides us to actually fuel some
sort of positive change the more we can
talk to each other and listen to each
other and actually work together to
create better solutions for our
stressful lives and from this state a
state of curiosity stressing can
actually be a blessing and now when we
know better we’re finally able to do better thank you
Please follow and like us: