have you ever waited for something
really big to happen like a breakthrough
moment only to have it not show that was
exactly what happened to me when my
husband Brad and I moved to Bloomington
Illinois about 11 years ago I had been a
part-time Potter for 80 years and a
full-time Potter for three my studio had
always been in the garage in the kitchen
a tiny spare room when we moved here we
bought my dream house because for the
first time in my life my ceramic studio
was spacious it was beautiful it had
windows that looked out into our
backyard every time I stepped into my
studio I couldn’t believe it was all
mine then strange things started to
happen I found myself doing dishes doing
laundry instead of working in my
beautiful studio let’s pause here for a
moment and think through how crazy that
is
I chose laundry over working in the
studio
eventually I realized I was avoiding my
studio because I was bored of my pots
when I come in it to be a full-time
Potter I worked really really hard to
create ceramic pieces that were well
liked by galleries and by customers my
pots were beautiful they were intricate
and people were always wowed by all the
work that I put into each piece I had
big dreams
I wanted a beautiful ceramic studio
which I now had and I wanted to be well
known and well respected in the ceramics
field I contacted all the right
galleries to see if they were interested
in my work and many of them were I
applied to all the big ceramic shows in
the country and my hard work was paying
off because I was slowly building a name
for myself yet there I was
washing dishes in my kitchen instead of
working in the studio at this point I
knew that something had to change
I had to either force myself to keep
making these beautiful pots that bored
me to do chores or I had to make drastic
changes right around this time I I
discover the possibility of going to
graduate school at Illinois State
University
after weighing all my options I decided
to go for it I applied to the MFA or
Masters of Fine Arts program at ICU and
was accepted for art getting your MFA is
equivalent to earning a PhD I hope to my
ceramics career right when it was on an
upswing and at the tender age of 34 I
found myself a student once again the
year I started grad school was a
momentous one not only had I upended my
life and my career in order to reclaim
my love and enthusiasm for clay Brad and
I also decided it was time to start a
family about a quarter of the way into
my first year as a grad student I
discovered I was pregnant
when the news of my impending motherhood
was revealed many friends said Oh
motherhood is gonna change you your life
and your artwork I was ecstatic to hear
this
wasn’t having a breakthrough moment in
my ceramics the sole purpose of going to
grad school armed with grad school and
motherhood there was no way I was going
to miss out on that Eureka moment when
the light bulb turns on and my pots were
just magically wondrous and profound all
through my pregnancy and into the first
month’s of Grayson my son’s life I
waited with bated breath for that knock
to come and when that knock came I was
going to fling the door wide open
embrace my breakthrough moment invited
to come inside and lock the door so he
may never leave so I waited and waited
and waited and you know what that knock
it never came I mean sure my work had
changed as you would expect but wouldn’t
go to grad school but there was never
this shining and glorious moment where I
was suddenly inspired to make the most
brilliant pots in my entire life and
well I like the pots that I made I was
there is always this vague and
unsatisfied feeling that something was
missing like my pots they didn’t glow
from the aftermath of a visit from the
inspiration motherhood indeed had
changed me in my life my deep and
complete love for Grayson was one that I
could have never imagined my life was
and never will be the same after this
little person entered into our lives yet
my word did not reflect those changes
and perhaps more importantly I wasn’t
inspired to make pots about those
changes there was a gap a detachment
between my work and motherhood I wanted
to close that gap but I had no idea how
to do it soon life is it
usually does moved on my dream of having
a breakthrough moment in my ceramics
faded into the background I graduated
and juggling life as a working mom and
as a working artist soon took over the
work I made before grad school and right
after grad school would be considered
non representational or abstract this
meant that I used geometric shapes
colors and lines I never ever used
representational images or pictures of
objects and things you would recognize I
always believed that artwork should not
I should not tell people what to think
about my artwork like viewers should be
able to look at my pots and figure it
out for themselves so if I were to put a
squirrel holding an acorn on my pots
that was too cheap and easy artwork
should have an air of mystery and
deciphering that mystery should take
some hard work now if any of you have
children work with kids or at all
familiar with children you know that
they can go from this to this in an
instant Grayson had always been a pretty
easy kid he’s mild-mannered listens well
he’s a natural rule follower but he’s
always hated getting his nails cut so
when I came to nail cutting time my
usually mild-mannered kid becomes
extremely unhappy and uncooperative one
night when Grayson was about three years
old we were having our usual battle of
getting his nails cut out of desperation
I declared that I was going to sing him
a song this caught his attention because
as a general rule I don’t usually sing
like you trust me don’t want to hear me
sing but I said I was going to sing him
a song about Batman because at the time
he loved superheroes
he had this go on I might be convinced
look on his face
so to sweeten the deal I said what do
you think Batman should be doing in the
song after thinking about it for a
moment he said
songs should be about Batman mr. freeze
and ice cream so that’s what I did I
sang a song about how mr. freeze stole
all the ice cream in the world but
Batman saved the day because he
discovered mr. Freeze’s secret lair and
all the ice cream were saved and while I
sang the song I quickly cut his nails
and for the first time that night I was
able to cut his nails without any fuss
or any Tantrums after that we developed
a routine when it was time to cut
Grayson’s nails he would name
superheroes and anything else that
popped into his head and I made up a
song about it well
one particular night I was tired I
wasn’t in the mood to come up with a
complicated story
so I decided seeing mary had a little
lamb’ at the end of the song
there was this deafening silence I
calmly continued to cut Grayson’s nails
while the entire time cringing on the
inside she finally said that’s it
nonchalantly I answered yep in an
outraged voice he asked where’s the
story there was no story in that song it
was so short
where’s the story it was at that moment
that I finally finally understood
something so profound that I took my
breath away
that breakthrough moment that knocked
that I’ve been waiting for for almost
four years
it didn’t come knocking on my door it
had quietly slipped inside of me and had
been patiently waiting for me to
recognize it all this time you see for a
long time now I’ve been wanting to tell
and have been telling these tiny little
stories on my pots the stories are
really timid and made up of
non-representational images I’d imagine
that this yellow dot was really lonely
and so it went on an adventure and
searched high and low for other yellow
dots but the habit of telling Greyson
stories had unconsciously followed with
me into the studio and this whole time
I’ve been telling him stories through my
pots
the events and the interactions that I
observe everyday I wanted to use
representational images but I was too
scared to do so so as a compromise I was
using these tiny little animal
silhouettes in my head I thought well
those animal silhouettes they’re vague
and mysterious so technically I’m not
really telling anybody what my pots are
about after that night when I realized
that my aha moment had already arrived I
embraced the fact that I want to tell
stories on my pots and that in order to
do so I need to use representational
images and also I realized that I need
to let go of my fear and my preconceived
notions of what art should and shouldn’t
be I used to think that my pots should
reflect the seriousness of motherhood
but the truth of the matter is is that
if the laughter and the playfulness and
the silliness the lightness of being a
mom that affects me the most
it’s those happy silly sometimes
bittersweet slices of life those are the
stories that I want to tell because
together those formed my breakthrough
moment I finally realized that
breakthrough moments don’t have to hit
you over the head sometimes
they’re quiet and sneaky and because
they seep instead of bonk I have to be
present in my own life for those moments
otherwise they will just flow right past
me I love the pots that I’m making now
because they shine true to me all the
big and small moments of my life as well
I understand now that I can’t dictate or
control when my breakthrough moments
will come the only thing that I can do
is to be present in my life and to be on
the lookout for them and when they do
come
I’m going to embrace them and accept
them for exactly what it is thank you
[Applause]
really big to happen like a breakthrough
moment only to have it not show that was
exactly what happened to me when my
husband Brad and I moved to Bloomington
Illinois about 11 years ago I had been a
part-time Potter for 80 years and a
full-time Potter for three my studio had
always been in the garage in the kitchen
a tiny spare room when we moved here we
bought my dream house because for the
first time in my life my ceramic studio
was spacious it was beautiful it had
windows that looked out into our
backyard every time I stepped into my
studio I couldn’t believe it was all
mine then strange things started to
happen I found myself doing dishes doing
laundry instead of working in my
beautiful studio let’s pause here for a
moment and think through how crazy that
is
I chose laundry over working in the
studio
eventually I realized I was avoiding my
studio because I was bored of my pots
when I come in it to be a full-time
Potter I worked really really hard to
create ceramic pieces that were well
liked by galleries and by customers my
pots were beautiful they were intricate
and people were always wowed by all the
work that I put into each piece I had
big dreams
I wanted a beautiful ceramic studio
which I now had and I wanted to be well
known and well respected in the ceramics
field I contacted all the right
galleries to see if they were interested
in my work and many of them were I
applied to all the big ceramic shows in
the country and my hard work was paying
off because I was slowly building a name
for myself yet there I was
washing dishes in my kitchen instead of
working in the studio at this point I
knew that something had to change
I had to either force myself to keep
making these beautiful pots that bored
me to do chores or I had to make drastic
changes right around this time I I
discover the possibility of going to
graduate school at Illinois State
University
after weighing all my options I decided
to go for it I applied to the MFA or
Masters of Fine Arts program at ICU and
was accepted for art getting your MFA is
equivalent to earning a PhD I hope to my
ceramics career right when it was on an
upswing and at the tender age of 34 I
found myself a student once again the
year I started grad school was a
momentous one not only had I upended my
life and my career in order to reclaim
my love and enthusiasm for clay Brad and
I also decided it was time to start a
family about a quarter of the way into
my first year as a grad student I
discovered I was pregnant
when the news of my impending motherhood
was revealed many friends said Oh
motherhood is gonna change you your life
and your artwork I was ecstatic to hear
this
wasn’t having a breakthrough moment in
my ceramics the sole purpose of going to
grad school armed with grad school and
motherhood there was no way I was going
to miss out on that Eureka moment when
the light bulb turns on and my pots were
just magically wondrous and profound all
through my pregnancy and into the first
month’s of Grayson my son’s life I
waited with bated breath for that knock
to come and when that knock came I was
going to fling the door wide open
embrace my breakthrough moment invited
to come inside and lock the door so he
may never leave so I waited and waited
and waited and you know what that knock
it never came I mean sure my work had
changed as you would expect but wouldn’t
go to grad school but there was never
this shining and glorious moment where I
was suddenly inspired to make the most
brilliant pots in my entire life and
well I like the pots that I made I was
there is always this vague and
unsatisfied feeling that something was
missing like my pots they didn’t glow
from the aftermath of a visit from the
inspiration motherhood indeed had
changed me in my life my deep and
complete love for Grayson was one that I
could have never imagined my life was
and never will be the same after this
little person entered into our lives yet
my word did not reflect those changes
and perhaps more importantly I wasn’t
inspired to make pots about those
changes there was a gap a detachment
between my work and motherhood I wanted
to close that gap but I had no idea how
to do it soon life is it
usually does moved on my dream of having
a breakthrough moment in my ceramics
faded into the background I graduated
and juggling life as a working mom and
as a working artist soon took over the
work I made before grad school and right
after grad school would be considered
non representational or abstract this
meant that I used geometric shapes
colors and lines I never ever used
representational images or pictures of
objects and things you would recognize I
always believed that artwork should not
I should not tell people what to think
about my artwork like viewers should be
able to look at my pots and figure it
out for themselves so if I were to put a
squirrel holding an acorn on my pots
that was too cheap and easy artwork
should have an air of mystery and
deciphering that mystery should take
some hard work now if any of you have
children work with kids or at all
familiar with children you know that
they can go from this to this in an
instant Grayson had always been a pretty
easy kid he’s mild-mannered listens well
he’s a natural rule follower but he’s
always hated getting his nails cut so
when I came to nail cutting time my
usually mild-mannered kid becomes
extremely unhappy and uncooperative one
night when Grayson was about three years
old we were having our usual battle of
getting his nails cut out of desperation
I declared that I was going to sing him
a song this caught his attention because
as a general rule I don’t usually sing
like you trust me don’t want to hear me
sing but I said I was going to sing him
a song about Batman because at the time
he loved superheroes
he had this go on I might be convinced
look on his face
so to sweeten the deal I said what do
you think Batman should be doing in the
song after thinking about it for a
moment he said
songs should be about Batman mr. freeze
and ice cream so that’s what I did I
sang a song about how mr. freeze stole
all the ice cream in the world but
Batman saved the day because he
discovered mr. Freeze’s secret lair and
all the ice cream were saved and while I
sang the song I quickly cut his nails
and for the first time that night I was
able to cut his nails without any fuss
or any Tantrums after that we developed
a routine when it was time to cut
Grayson’s nails he would name
superheroes and anything else that
popped into his head and I made up a
song about it well
one particular night I was tired I
wasn’t in the mood to come up with a
complicated story
so I decided seeing mary had a little
lamb’ at the end of the song
there was this deafening silence I
calmly continued to cut Grayson’s nails
while the entire time cringing on the
inside she finally said that’s it
nonchalantly I answered yep in an
outraged voice he asked where’s the
story there was no story in that song it
was so short
where’s the story it was at that moment
that I finally finally understood
something so profound that I took my
breath away
that breakthrough moment that knocked
that I’ve been waiting for for almost
four years
it didn’t come knocking on my door it
had quietly slipped inside of me and had
been patiently waiting for me to
recognize it all this time you see for a
long time now I’ve been wanting to tell
and have been telling these tiny little
stories on my pots the stories are
really timid and made up of
non-representational images I’d imagine
that this yellow dot was really lonely
and so it went on an adventure and
searched high and low for other yellow
dots but the habit of telling Greyson
stories had unconsciously followed with
me into the studio and this whole time
I’ve been telling him stories through my
pots
the events and the interactions that I
observe everyday I wanted to use
representational images but I was too
scared to do so so as a compromise I was
using these tiny little animal
silhouettes in my head I thought well
those animal silhouettes they’re vague
and mysterious so technically I’m not
really telling anybody what my pots are
about after that night when I realized
that my aha moment had already arrived I
embraced the fact that I want to tell
stories on my pots and that in order to
do so I need to use representational
images and also I realized that I need
to let go of my fear and my preconceived
notions of what art should and shouldn’t
be I used to think that my pots should
reflect the seriousness of motherhood
but the truth of the matter is is that
if the laughter and the playfulness and
the silliness the lightness of being a
mom that affects me the most
it’s those happy silly sometimes
bittersweet slices of life those are the
stories that I want to tell because
together those formed my breakthrough
moment I finally realized that
breakthrough moments don’t have to hit
you over the head sometimes
they’re quiet and sneaky and because
they seep instead of bonk I have to be
present in my own life for those moments
otherwise they will just flow right past
me I love the pots that I’m making now
because they shine true to me all the
big and small moments of my life as well
I understand now that I can’t dictate or
control when my breakthrough moments
will come the only thing that I can do
is to be present in my life and to be on
the lookout for them and when they do
come
I’m going to embrace them and accept
them for exactly what it is thank you
[Applause]
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