good afternoon I am beyond humbled to be
here today I had a lot to think about
I knew immediately why I wanted to talk
about when I was contacted to talk about
TEDx in headaches but then I didn’t know
how I want to say it and I don’t think I
still do so we’ll find out together I’m
going to be talking about the art of
giving and I’m here to inspire you I’m
not here to motivate you I’m not here to
tell you what the perfect formula to
give is what you need to do or how to
need to do it I’m hoping that you can
leave here having a better understanding
of what do you think the best way to
give would be in your case because we’re
all made up differently we all have our
different makeups how do I go back okay
what I think I’m giving this is what
comes to mind as simple as that
you’re smiling in the face of your
brother is charity this is sums of
giving for me I can leave no but I’ll
tell you some more of how I think you
can you can implement this thing in your
everyday life growing up I was such a
smiling child I smiled a lot I still do
that I’m not as young as I was but I
still like to smile a lot I still walk
around my mom keeps telling me
Corie smiling too I have this habit of
smiling at people and I never understood
why I just it was this immediate feeling
that just came to my mind every time I
saw someone a stranger I’m walking to an
elephant
I walk into a place and I just smile I’m
growing up I realize that it’s that
feeling of getting a small dog being
recognized because you smile at someone
and you expect them to smile back at you
and and if they smile back then they’ve
seen you and they don’t you eats this
and you’re there and obviously I didn’t
think about all the details growing up
as a child but I think the adults we
would probably analyze that that’s why I
used to do that it’s funny how we always
talk about giving being so selfless
and I happen to disagree I think giving
is very selfish we’re all looking for
something in return you never give
selflessly even as a mother and I have a
an eight-year-old almost AIDS in June
and I I give her love and attention and
everything but it’s because I want her
to be happy I want you to love me back I
want you to think I’m a good mom we’re
always looking for something in return
and it’s only natural that makes us
human and it’s not that kind of selfish
but we need to be a bit selfish in order
for us to give and and there are so many
different forms of giving and I know
that the first thing that comes to mind
when people are talking about giving is
financial giving and that’s the easiest
way to give that’s literally the easiest
thing to do so we need something write
them a check your your child wants a toy
get them three and they’re happy but
then a week later a month bit later and
they’re on to the next story they’re
once more I look back if my old
childhood and I don’t worry I remember a
lines a lot of toys I love Barbies I
love Lego
a lot of other things but I don’t
remember the exact toy that I was so
desperately in love with or or that I
wanted so badly although our childhood
back in the 80s was so much more
selective when you wanted to buy and get
things kids nowadays have everything but
I remember the moments my parents spent
with me I remember Friday breakfast
which our sacred rituals that are still
ongoing I remember my dad taking us
every single Friday to the pool and
waiting all day for him to get our
potatoes to the pool and he only had one
day off his weekend was just one day off
and he’d get up and take us to the pool
spend all day with us under the Sun
yelling and screaming and playing it
splashing water and having french fries
by the pool that’s such a vivid memory
for me I don’t remember the toys I
remember my mom making breakfast or her
teaching us after school for hours and
getting angry and asking us to repeat
things otherwise we’re not going to
watch TV a third time spent there making
the time is the art of giving gift time
nowadays our children aren’t fortunately
I think we’re all guilty of this instead
of spending time with them and
interacting they’re on their iPads
they’re in the play area they’re they’re
doing something else they’re busy
because you wouldn’t be busy doing
something else and like an it instead
and the talk before these are times gone
your child is going to grow up before
you even know it I’m almost starting to
my parents are here and I can’t believe
I’m at an age where I’m actually an
adult but around them I get all tense
and I still feel like good shove because
I’m always going to be their child and I
look at my own daughter and I think I
want her to have a childhood like I did
and
to have a better chocolate because right
now is simpler and when we can use it
for our own good but instead we’re
always just going for the easy way out
give love give attention give comfort
how many of you give it your all at your
own job everyone loves it like you’re
looking to have a job people ages ago if
you had a university degree you are very
well educated and you wanted to get
hired now you have a university degree a
master’s degree and you’re working on
more degrees and her the markets is way
more competitive so you’re very lucky if
you have a good stable job enjoy it love
it give it your all
it’s it’s who you are your work says a
lot about you and being an artist and I
try to practice arts as much as I can
I’ve always been looking for inspiration
which is a natural thing for artists and
one other than none there are artists
looks where it’s not just it’s not
happening until coming to everything is
just so blah but then I realize and that
was a turning point for me that I was
looking for the wrong thing we don’t
need inspiration because inspiration is
very temporary it comes and goes
it’s that the quick thing we need
motivation we need a motive we need a
reason we need we need we need something
to look forward to we need to make the
most out of it and that’s what the
postcard initiative and Mike Lee’s
happened I
it was appointed my life where
everything was so flat and the only
constant in my life has been art and
even that was flat and when I came
across the whole idea of helping people
and and and and drawing more smiles on
people’s faces that I can make someone
smile I can make that the mother of this
trust model her sisters
brothers herself give her life back you
realize there is more to us than just
that single person on your phone on your
office desk with your family and we
don’t spend as much time with our
families we are there physically but how
many of us are there mentally or
emotionally how many of you have a
conversation with someone where they
keep looking down and and you can tell
they’re they really want to check their
phone but they’re trying to be polite
but then they’re not with you because
they’re waiting for you to finish your
sentence because they want to look back
into their phone how many of you
encountered that how many of you woke up
this morning and spot a smile that their
spouse at their partner at there I don’t
know nanny children office boy watchman
a stranger in the corridor how do you
smell it someone this morning just
smiles how do you how do you get stuck
with morning or or said thank you and
these are things that we keep teaching
or if it’s to do but how many of us
practice what we preach it’s a smile
it’s all it takes as a smile and it
reminds me of a story a couple of years
ago
I’ve got into the elevator and there’s a
lady there were back and she was crying
her eyes out her eyes were still puff
her nose was was old loads it and it was
very awkward
it was a long write up and I was stuck
with this lady and I felt so bad and
because we’re curious I was wondering
what was making her so sad and I just I
just stood there silently awkwardly
waiting to reach my floor and the
moments like right before I left the
elevator I just looked at turn a smile I
was like have a good day
and and she knew I knew and I knew she
knew what I meant and it was that moment
and she
actually smiled that she was crying but
the tears were there but she looked back
at me she smiled and I choked up because
I was gonna cry now because I felt all
excited it was that friendly but then it
was as simple as small making the effort
this is giving I was diagnosed with an
autoimmune disease a couple of years ago
and I have to go through all the tests
and all the MRIs and CAT scans of this
and that and I have frequent doctor
visits all the time and have the best
doctor in the world when was the last
time your doctor texted you to ask if
your symptoms are better anyone never
Braves my doctor does that my doctor
calls me a day after my visit to make
sure that I got my results he does it
personally not his lab not the nurse he
called me he asks me if I developed any
new symptoms based on this imbalance
that’s giving it your all in your job
that’s giving it with dedication this is
giving financial that’s the easiest
thing to do write a check get a toy buy
a gift send an email anyone can do that
how many of you takes the time from your
busy day to sit and have a meal with
someone you care for or have a cup of
coffee actually have a cup of coffee and
have an actual conversation but not just
be on your phone and it’s not shouting
in histogram of your whole whole own
experience we’re in an over connected
always connected world where everyone’s
there’s an on-demand everything
everyone’s on their phones
everyone’s on social media and this is a
phenomena that we’re all having to deal
with it’s it’s a fact of life it’s
undeniable it’s there but then how how
can we balance that to not lose our
human cells because at the end of the
day we’re more than just or just like
it’s like everyone’s a director now will
you go out on an outing you dress up
thinking I don’t wear this last
no one’s gonna see on my histogram again
but then you reach to that place so then
you have your meal as I hold on hold on
let’s take a picture and you’re smiling
though you weren’t having conversation
before you were smiling but then
everything is orchestrated are you
enjoying the moment are you making
memories or are you orchestrating
moments to post them online for everyone
to think oh that was amazing we should
totally go to that place I want this to
be as raw and it’s genuine as possible I
am we’re all guilty of this I am NOT I’m
not a person here too I’m not a role
model or a someone who’s who’s who’s
good at this I’m a work in progress I I
have found something I’ve found a reason
through my clothes card initiative and
through helping these people in
developing countries get their sight
back their families and and everyone
around them but then again I feel like
we can all benefit from this it’s put
everything in perspective for me because
things make more sense now and my
priorities are set straight now and I
realize in order for you to be a good
giver you need to give yourself first
and when you give yourself before you
start giving others you know when you’re
in an airplane and they tell you to put
on your life jacket before you help
whoever is next to you even if it was
your own child it’s for a reason because
if you’re not functioning you can’t help
the other person you need to give
yourself give yourself time disconnect
prioritize things put things into
perspective know what you want what you
don’t want you you need to give yourself
a good education identification you can
be a bit selfish because when you’re a
better person when you’re a happier
person
it’s easier for you to give and you give
more and you give more selflessly within
the selfish
perspective because you’re content
you’re not bitter because what happens
usually when you give a lot and you’re
unhappy there comes a moment when it
turns into bitterness because like I
give give give but that no one cares no
one’s gonna look at you you’re gonna
care for yourself first for people to
start taking the time out of their busy
schedules and and get back and care for
you so in drawing I close my my my talk
I would say it’s as simple as your
smiling in the face of your brother is
charity so I hope that we can all end
this with a smile and thank you so much
for hearing me today [Applause]