[Music]
[Applause]
when I was 10 years old I could have
told you exactly who I wanted to be when
I grew up I could have told you
everything from the places I was going
to travel the various jobs I was going
to have and what my fabulous friends
were going to be like I knew from a very
young age exactly what my goals were I
knew that I wanted to live in New York
or near the Pacific Ocean even though no
one around me had ever been to either
place I knew that I wanted to be a
lawyer or have another job with a big
fancy office high above the city even
though no when I was close to had a
white-collar job or even in office I
knew that I wanted friends from around
the world with different backgrounds and
amazing stories even though there was
not a person of a different ethnicity
inside of my small rural town I had my
life all planned because I watched
television my mother and my sister had
both gotten pregnant young and from that
moment on they devoted their lives to
their families I wanted something other
than to be a young mother I wanted
adventure I wanted to travel the world I
wanted that great job and those great
friends my role models were Mary Tyler
Moore Murphy Brown Ally McBeal or even
detective Dana Scully strong and
independent career women when my parents
got divorced television became far more
than just a place for me to see who I
wanted to be my father removed his new
girlfriend and a few months after my
mother and I had moved out and she
wasn’t very fond of me the emotional
abuse began right away when my father
was gone she would tell me how worthless
I was and how the house that I had grown
up in was now hers and would never be
mine again the physical abuse started
later one example is when she hit me
across the head in a restaurant bathroom
because I didn’t finish all of my food
she told me that if I ever told my
father I would lose him because he would
never believe me when I finally did
bring up the courage to tell my dad
he just shrugged it off he’d made his
choice and it was not me my mother
remarried a year or two after her
divorce from my dad at first I was
excited I gained two new step siblings
and we got a nice house I was feeling
pretty optimistic but although he was an
abusive my stepfather was not the Mike
Brady that I was expecting he was quick
to anger and I always seemed to be able
to spark that in him you didn’t hug
he didn’t encourage or compliment and he
rarely even smiled he made me feel like
I didn’t belong there my mother did her
best to try and show me how much she
loved and supported me but she could
never break through all of the other
negativity I was experiencing therefore
I now had two homes two different
families and I felt unwanted by both
television had become a place that I
would escape to I would wake up every
morning and watch Saved by the Bell
I was convinced that this group of
teenagers had the perfect carefree
California life they had good friends to
tell their troubles to and a big
beautiful ocean to hang out at after
school I would settle in for shows like
growing pains or Full House shows with
happy families who loved and supported
each other no matter what
that was so comforting for me to see
when my cousin and I would play house
she would always marry Uncle Jesse I
would pretend that Danny Tanner was my
dad that was my childhood fantasy the
toll that my home life took on my child
brain was immeasurable and once puberty
hit those goals and dreams I had had for
so long seemed ridiculous to me I was
worthless how was I ever going to
accomplish anything most of my friends
had families like those I watched on
television two loving parents at home
parents who were happy parents who
supported them and gave them love and
affection those were the kids who were
going to do great things and I was
obviously not one of them
and so I forgot about ever trying to be
like Mary Tyler Moore my grades slipped
and I started caring more about the
validation I could get from boys than
working hard after dropping out of high
school and getting my diploma from an
alternative school I did attend college
by this time I had moved on
from full house to Sex in the City I
would watch this group of single feisty
women living in New York and know that
this was now the life I was going to
have I even chose my first college major
journalism because Carrie Bradshaw wrote
a weekly column and she could afford an
amazing New York apartment on that
salary it turns out however that college
required work and writing was a little
bit harder than it looked like on
television and so after one year of
below average grades out of Community
College I again felt like a failure and
that this wasn’t the life for me and so
I left I started working part-time and
devoting the rest of my time to my
boyfriend I still talked about going
somewhere like New York moving to LA or
even backpacking through Europe but my
self-doubt now consumed me
I was ambition ‘less and just floating
through life when on May 19th 2006 I
found out I was pregnant I was 20 years
old working part-time and had gotten
pregnant by a boy I wasn’t even sure
would stick around I have become
everything that ten-year-old me was
determined to rebel against and just to
let you know how much I was being
influenced by television at this time
the first words out of my mouth when I
found out were they don’t let people
with kids be on the real worlds
that’s true everything I had not done
flashed before my eyes and then one
night through my sobs I came across
another television show that would
provide everything I needed at that time
Comfort motivation and a little bit of
self confidence to think that maybe I
could do this Gilmore Girls is a show
about a young single mother raising her
teenage daughter after getting pregnant
at 16 the mother leaves her less than
ideal family and the only life she knows
behind to forge her own path baby girl
in tow she works her way from a maid to
the owner of her own business goes back
to college and does it all while raising
a strong and intelligent daughter and
watching a lot of television this
character Lorelai Gilmore became my role
model and someone I could 100% identify
with at this time I decided right then
and there that instead of just watching
strong families on TV it was my turn to
provide that for my own child instead of
just envying strong and independent
career women it was my turn to create
that life for myself and although I had
no idea how I was going to make it
happen I made a promise to myself and my
unborn baby that we would see the world
one day my daughter was born on December
13th 2006 and I named her Lorelai her
name would be a constant motivation
always pushing me to continue to do what
was best for us and I knew that one day
I would be watching this life-changing
show and character with her
the second that Lorelai and I left the
hospital I said about changing my life I
enrolled in college again this time to
become a paralegal it was a quick degree
that I knew would help me support us as
soon as possible after graduation I
finally fulfilled my dream of moving to
the big city
well Indianapolis
where I worked at a great law firm and
had my first real office on the ground
floor we lived in Indy for two years and
while I was able to start to rebuild so
much of my self-confidence through my
career I decided that maybe those
big-city dreams were a bit unrealistic
especially when you’re raising a
two-year-old and your entire support
system is three hours away so we moved
to Evansville it has been 11 years since
I found out I was pregnant and I
continued to build a life in this area
that I love I own my own home
Lorelei is thriving in fifth grade I
returned to school for a second degree I
was constructing my own career path and
best of all I have been able to travel
and have many adventures two years ago I
headed to San Francisco for my first
real California trip I was able to see a
lot of amazing things including things
that I had seen on full house but
nothing compared to seeing the Pacific
Ocean for the first time when we rounded
the corner and it came into view I began
to sob I cried because my whole life
that ocean had been a space reserved for
characters that I watched with envy and
longing I cried because not only was I
seeing the Pacific Ocean but I was
seeing it within the same year that I
had seen the Atlantic Ocean I cried
because I had finally gotten myself to a
place that I had always wanted to be the
television give me the life I have now
did it make me a good mother put a roof
over my head
provide me with career advancement
caused me to see the value in myself or
even do something like audition for this
talk no I did that but television showed
a young and sad girl the kind of family
she wanted for herself one day and that
there was an entire world outside of her
small town television provided an
aimless young woman with strong role
models and gave her something to aspire
to
television didn’t create my American
dream but it gave me the momentum I
needed to create my own thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
when I was 10 years old I could have
told you exactly who I wanted to be when
I grew up I could have told you
everything from the places I was going
to travel the various jobs I was going
to have and what my fabulous friends
were going to be like I knew from a very
young age exactly what my goals were I
knew that I wanted to live in New York
or near the Pacific Ocean even though no
one around me had ever been to either
place I knew that I wanted to be a
lawyer or have another job with a big
fancy office high above the city even
though no when I was close to had a
white-collar job or even in office I
knew that I wanted friends from around
the world with different backgrounds and
amazing stories even though there was
not a person of a different ethnicity
inside of my small rural town I had my
life all planned because I watched
television my mother and my sister had
both gotten pregnant young and from that
moment on they devoted their lives to
their families I wanted something other
than to be a young mother I wanted
adventure I wanted to travel the world I
wanted that great job and those great
friends my role models were Mary Tyler
Moore Murphy Brown Ally McBeal or even
detective Dana Scully strong and
independent career women when my parents
got divorced television became far more
than just a place for me to see who I
wanted to be my father removed his new
girlfriend and a few months after my
mother and I had moved out and she
wasn’t very fond of me the emotional
abuse began right away when my father
was gone she would tell me how worthless
I was and how the house that I had grown
up in was now hers and would never be
mine again the physical abuse started
later one example is when she hit me
across the head in a restaurant bathroom
because I didn’t finish all of my food
she told me that if I ever told my
father I would lose him because he would
never believe me when I finally did
bring up the courage to tell my dad
he just shrugged it off he’d made his
choice and it was not me my mother
remarried a year or two after her
divorce from my dad at first I was
excited I gained two new step siblings
and we got a nice house I was feeling
pretty optimistic but although he was an
abusive my stepfather was not the Mike
Brady that I was expecting he was quick
to anger and I always seemed to be able
to spark that in him you didn’t hug
he didn’t encourage or compliment and he
rarely even smiled he made me feel like
I didn’t belong there my mother did her
best to try and show me how much she
loved and supported me but she could
never break through all of the other
negativity I was experiencing therefore
I now had two homes two different
families and I felt unwanted by both
television had become a place that I
would escape to I would wake up every
morning and watch Saved by the Bell
I was convinced that this group of
teenagers had the perfect carefree
California life they had good friends to
tell their troubles to and a big
beautiful ocean to hang out at after
school I would settle in for shows like
growing pains or Full House shows with
happy families who loved and supported
each other no matter what
that was so comforting for me to see
when my cousin and I would play house
she would always marry Uncle Jesse I
would pretend that Danny Tanner was my
dad that was my childhood fantasy the
toll that my home life took on my child
brain was immeasurable and once puberty
hit those goals and dreams I had had for
so long seemed ridiculous to me I was
worthless how was I ever going to
accomplish anything most of my friends
had families like those I watched on
television two loving parents at home
parents who were happy parents who
supported them and gave them love and
affection those were the kids who were
going to do great things and I was
obviously not one of them
and so I forgot about ever trying to be
like Mary Tyler Moore my grades slipped
and I started caring more about the
validation I could get from boys than
working hard after dropping out of high
school and getting my diploma from an
alternative school I did attend college
by this time I had moved on
from full house to Sex in the City I
would watch this group of single feisty
women living in New York and know that
this was now the life I was going to
have I even chose my first college major
journalism because Carrie Bradshaw wrote
a weekly column and she could afford an
amazing New York apartment on that
salary it turns out however that college
required work and writing was a little
bit harder than it looked like on
television and so after one year of
below average grades out of Community
College I again felt like a failure and
that this wasn’t the life for me and so
I left I started working part-time and
devoting the rest of my time to my
boyfriend I still talked about going
somewhere like New York moving to LA or
even backpacking through Europe but my
self-doubt now consumed me
I was ambition ‘less and just floating
through life when on May 19th 2006 I
found out I was pregnant I was 20 years
old working part-time and had gotten
pregnant by a boy I wasn’t even sure
would stick around I have become
everything that ten-year-old me was
determined to rebel against and just to
let you know how much I was being
influenced by television at this time
the first words out of my mouth when I
found out were they don’t let people
with kids be on the real worlds
that’s true everything I had not done
flashed before my eyes and then one
night through my sobs I came across
another television show that would
provide everything I needed at that time
Comfort motivation and a little bit of
self confidence to think that maybe I
could do this Gilmore Girls is a show
about a young single mother raising her
teenage daughter after getting pregnant
at 16 the mother leaves her less than
ideal family and the only life she knows
behind to forge her own path baby girl
in tow she works her way from a maid to
the owner of her own business goes back
to college and does it all while raising
a strong and intelligent daughter and
watching a lot of television this
character Lorelai Gilmore became my role
model and someone I could 100% identify
with at this time I decided right then
and there that instead of just watching
strong families on TV it was my turn to
provide that for my own child instead of
just envying strong and independent
career women it was my turn to create
that life for myself and although I had
no idea how I was going to make it
happen I made a promise to myself and my
unborn baby that we would see the world
one day my daughter was born on December
13th 2006 and I named her Lorelai her
name would be a constant motivation
always pushing me to continue to do what
was best for us and I knew that one day
I would be watching this life-changing
show and character with her
the second that Lorelai and I left the
hospital I said about changing my life I
enrolled in college again this time to
become a paralegal it was a quick degree
that I knew would help me support us as
soon as possible after graduation I
finally fulfilled my dream of moving to
the big city
well Indianapolis
where I worked at a great law firm and
had my first real office on the ground
floor we lived in Indy for two years and
while I was able to start to rebuild so
much of my self-confidence through my
career I decided that maybe those
big-city dreams were a bit unrealistic
especially when you’re raising a
two-year-old and your entire support
system is three hours away so we moved
to Evansville it has been 11 years since
I found out I was pregnant and I
continued to build a life in this area
that I love I own my own home
Lorelei is thriving in fifth grade I
returned to school for a second degree I
was constructing my own career path and
best of all I have been able to travel
and have many adventures two years ago I
headed to San Francisco for my first
real California trip I was able to see a
lot of amazing things including things
that I had seen on full house but
nothing compared to seeing the Pacific
Ocean for the first time when we rounded
the corner and it came into view I began
to sob I cried because my whole life
that ocean had been a space reserved for
characters that I watched with envy and
longing I cried because not only was I
seeing the Pacific Ocean but I was
seeing it within the same year that I
had seen the Atlantic Ocean I cried
because I had finally gotten myself to a
place that I had always wanted to be the
television give me the life I have now
did it make me a good mother put a roof
over my head
provide me with career advancement
caused me to see the value in myself or
even do something like audition for this
talk no I did that but television showed
a young and sad girl the kind of family
she wanted for herself one day and that
there was an entire world outside of her
small town television provided an
aimless young woman with strong role
models and gave her something to aspire
to
television didn’t create my American
dream but it gave me the momentum I
needed to create my own thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
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