I would like to start this evening by
telling you all a little story about two
months ago had January 27th I decided
that I was going to go visit my brother
Connor and his girlfriend Alyssa down in
Fenton now that’s about an hour and a
half away from Mount Pleasant where I
live and I was super excited it was like
just long enough of a road trip that it
was going to be exciting but just short
enough that if I got lost they could
come find me which was bound to happen
so luckily I got there in one piece
after a few miss few missed turns
because obviously I know Fenton better
than Google Maps even though I’ve never
been there
so I get there it’s awesome I mean my
brother and Alyssa are like the best
ever so time comes to leave they’re
walking me out to the car like the
gracious hopes that they are and as we
approach my brother turns to me and he
goes Emily what the hell is hanging off
of the bottom of your car you can laugh
it’s okay um I go what do you mean
what’s hanging off of the bottom of my
car nothing well that was that was not
true apparently while I was driving to
Fenton going 75 miles an hour down the
interstate my muffler detached and
managed to fly off on the highway I
don’t know where and I don’t know when
but when it did it also managed to rip
off the heat shield of my car which is
what sort of apparently protects the
interior of your car from melting I
don’t know that was now hanging by a few
bolts and what alerted my brother to the
fact that I had a problem in the first
place okay so after making complete fun
of me my brother goes into the apartment
and comes back with a roll of duct tape
which he proceeds to use half of to hate
my heat shield back up enough that I can
get back to Mount Pleasant safely well
doing so he tells me that this is going
to cost a lot of money to fix and then I
need to make sure that my windows are
cracked until I get to get it fixed or
else I’m going to gas myself while I’m
driving thanks Connor it’s gonna be a
good ride home so I proceeded to drive
home in a complete state of panic with
the windows fully down because I’m not
gonna take any chances that I kill
myself
or my dog
and I’m just like out of my mind I do
not know what I’m going to do I had
moved to Mount Pleasant literally two
weeks before this I had no idea where I
was gonna get my muffler fixed I had no
time built up so that I could take time
off of work and every place closed at
5:00
it also didn’t have a lot of money saved
up because I had just lost my security
deposit on my apartment down here up
here in Marquette I’d put down a
security deposit on my new apartment and
I hadn’t been reading bursts for my
moving expenses so now you’re probably
like that’s good Emily but why are you
telling me this
well contrary to my nicely written bio
that you’ve all read fact that I have
two degrees a real job I can afford to
make rent and a car payment in the same
month and I have successfully kept my
dog alive for over two years now I have
no idea what I’m doing
okay adulting may be in my vocabulary
but I most often use it when I call my
mom to tell her that I bought chicken on
sale at Meijer and I froze it to eat
later or that I used my gift card I got
for Christmas to buy laundry detergent
aka nothing fun now I remember being you
20:21 listening to speakers in Jam rich
actually old Jam rich because that’s how
long ago I went to school here not
really but and I remember being like
I am so gonna be like will time
when I am an adult and I’m gonna be like
that at 25 I know it I am gonna be so
awesome that people are gonna pay me to
come tell them about how awesome I am
well unfortunately I have bad news I’m
25 now almost 26 no one paid me to be
here and like I said I don’t really know
what I’m doing
unfortunately the first time I walked
across the stage and shook the
president’s hand or even a second time I
was not granted the secret to life no
instead I got an empty to pull my folder
deal and a diploma that showed up in the
mail a few weeks later that as of now I
actually don’t know where they are the
first time I got a job
for ferry did not appear and say poof
here’s everything you need to know about
how to fill out your benefits paperwork
and by the way make sure you should
start saving for retirement now and
invest in a Roth IRA I’m gonna be honest
I met with a financial advisor this
morning and I still don’t know what that
means so this leads me to my next point
social media something I absolutely love
like that’s my job to love it and I do
but I also truly despise it what was
initially created as a way to create
communities between one another a way to
create dialogue and have authentic
real-life communications on the Internet
has now become the exact opposite now we
spend our time sharing only the good
parts of our life the good things that
make us look like we have it together
and like work adulting as they say so
now we hide behind these curated stories
you know the ones I’m talking about on
the top of your Instagram feed or the
super awesome selfie hiding to impress
people that most of the time you don’t
like but you’re too nosey to get rid of
and we accomplish two things when we do
this one we break down what social media
was meant to be and two we are
reinforcing this false concept of
adulting this idea that at some point
you will know what’s going on no longer
do we talk about the fact that we may
have accidentally put salt in our
oatmeal instead of sugar but we talk
about the fact that saved a small child
who’s lost in the grocery store no
longer do we talk about the fact that we
don’t know the difference between the
types of nails used to hang up pictures
because there is one apparently we talk
about this awesome date our significant
other took us on because obviously
they’re so awesome all the time now I’d
like to give a little bit of glamour
here I usually like to give these
earlier when I have these types of
conversations but I feel like it fits
here I mean vitamins the Gandhi of
social media or the Einstein of adult
scene
certainly not share who let’s be honest
is killing both of these things I’m just
putting it out there but what I am is
super passionate about being authentic
on social media and encouraging other
people to do the same now am i guilty of
only sharing really nice photos of the
meals like me well I live in Mount
Pleasant and not admitting to the fact
that I have essentially lived off of hot
pockets for two months yes yes I am am I
kind of guilty about only posting about
how excited I am for my new job on
social media and not talking about the
fact that I’m scared out of my mind to
be moving six hours away to a place I
had only been to once before this was
literally my only dog is my friend yeah
yeah okay so I’m guilty but I can’t
expect that ten years of ingrained
social media habits are going to die
overnight for me and I certainly can’t
expect it for you I mean I just like
coming here and weird vomiting at this
hat you weren’t expecting that you’re
just gonna go out and change that’s not
it at all
what I do want is for us as a group in
this room as a society at large to work
at killing off the idea of adulting you
know just offing it like they do with
the bad actors on soap operas I want us
to just use social media to take it off
the menu just stop faking that we’re
achieving this unachievable concept now
okay just bear with me what if instead
of arranging everything’s super nice to
get a really awesome Instagram picture
and putting this like really vague
artistic caption in it that makes you
look cool or so you think
you just take a somewhat subpar photo
but write a really emotionally beautiful
caption about how awesome it was to
spend time with your best friend who’s
come to visit you from out of town what
if instead of bragging about how the
fact that you made it to a new place
without using Google Maps you talked
about the fact that you took the time to
write the directions on a piece of paper
so that you didn’t get lost
what if instead of doing what I did when
you get that awesome job or internship
or whatever it happens to be you’re
honest about how you feel and yes
you I’m sure you are excited I was but
explain that you’re also really nervous
about where you’re going and how you get
a new doctor and if anyone can tell you
how to transfer medical records that
would be awesome
and I also need help with that so if you
want to talk to me after we can talk
about that to stop I know
again this was a lot to throw at you but
what if instead of using social media to
share what we think adults enos we use
social media to talk about what adulting
really is dealt in itself isn’t an end
goal you don’t reach it someday adulting
is a process that’s how you change
throughout your lives it’s making
mistakes and being honest and being
willing to learn and talk to other
people and help other people and feel
Kay and uncomfortable in that weird
uncomfortable place you get when you’re
kinda have to take care of yourself but
you still get to go home to your parents
at the summer or even when you have to
take care of yourself full time okay now
another small disclaimer I really don’t
want you to get creepy about it okay
like I do not and I repeat do not need
to know in excruciating detail how your
cap died no that’s not what I’m getting
at here okay
but knowing that you still sometimes
like tear up when you talk about her
makes me feel better about the fact that
I can’t get rid of my dog’s ashes and
it’s been seven years so it’s my mom
Karen back there who still has those
ashes in her house I promise I will take
care of those later baby so I would love
to wrap this up really like nice and
neat and beautiful for you but that’s
not how life is and let’s be honest
you’re not here for me to just like
present you this beautiful idea you’re
here to think about things outside of
your own silo and to think about the
world in a bigger perspective so if you
can take anything
of this I’m gonna notch that as a win
for me if I could have made you possibly
think a little bit more about this false
life that you’re showing on social media
that’s a double win whatever that win
happens to be I want to leave you all
with a few challenges on how to act on
them moving forward I challenge you to
redefine adulting I challenge you to get
rid of this concept that you are not
currently in adulting and that you never
will be
you are adulting by living by having
passion by being excited about things
and about going after new opportunities
and just doing your best I want you to
get rid of this idea that you are not
currently a member a functioning member
of society because you are
I challenge you to take back social I
challenge you to take back these
platforms that were created as a way to
communicate authentically between people
to share ideas and to have real dialogue
and make them that way again I challenge
you for every over glamorized piece of
your life that you share on social media
because you obviously can’t change
everything overnight for you to tear
challenge you to be authentic on social
media the person you are here right now
in this room you are excited about new
things
you are full of ideas you are here on a
Saturday night listening to people to
expand your worldview that’s the person
I want to see on social media and that’s
a person the world deserves to see on
social media the real authentic adulting version of you thank you
telling you all a little story about two
months ago had January 27th I decided
that I was going to go visit my brother
Connor and his girlfriend Alyssa down in
Fenton now that’s about an hour and a
half away from Mount Pleasant where I
live and I was super excited it was like
just long enough of a road trip that it
was going to be exciting but just short
enough that if I got lost they could
come find me which was bound to happen
so luckily I got there in one piece
after a few miss few missed turns
because obviously I know Fenton better
than Google Maps even though I’ve never
been there
so I get there it’s awesome I mean my
brother and Alyssa are like the best
ever so time comes to leave they’re
walking me out to the car like the
gracious hopes that they are and as we
approach my brother turns to me and he
goes Emily what the hell is hanging off
of the bottom of your car you can laugh
it’s okay um I go what do you mean
what’s hanging off of the bottom of my
car nothing well that was that was not
true apparently while I was driving to
Fenton going 75 miles an hour down the
interstate my muffler detached and
managed to fly off on the highway I
don’t know where and I don’t know when
but when it did it also managed to rip
off the heat shield of my car which is
what sort of apparently protects the
interior of your car from melting I
don’t know that was now hanging by a few
bolts and what alerted my brother to the
fact that I had a problem in the first
place okay so after making complete fun
of me my brother goes into the apartment
and comes back with a roll of duct tape
which he proceeds to use half of to hate
my heat shield back up enough that I can
get back to Mount Pleasant safely well
doing so he tells me that this is going
to cost a lot of money to fix and then I
need to make sure that my windows are
cracked until I get to get it fixed or
else I’m going to gas myself while I’m
driving thanks Connor it’s gonna be a
good ride home so I proceeded to drive
home in a complete state of panic with
the windows fully down because I’m not
gonna take any chances that I kill
myself
or my dog
and I’m just like out of my mind I do
not know what I’m going to do I had
moved to Mount Pleasant literally two
weeks before this I had no idea where I
was gonna get my muffler fixed I had no
time built up so that I could take time
off of work and every place closed at
5:00
it also didn’t have a lot of money saved
up because I had just lost my security
deposit on my apartment down here up
here in Marquette I’d put down a
security deposit on my new apartment and
I hadn’t been reading bursts for my
moving expenses so now you’re probably
like that’s good Emily but why are you
telling me this
well contrary to my nicely written bio
that you’ve all read fact that I have
two degrees a real job I can afford to
make rent and a car payment in the same
month and I have successfully kept my
dog alive for over two years now I have
no idea what I’m doing
okay adulting may be in my vocabulary
but I most often use it when I call my
mom to tell her that I bought chicken on
sale at Meijer and I froze it to eat
later or that I used my gift card I got
for Christmas to buy laundry detergent
aka nothing fun now I remember being you
20:21 listening to speakers in Jam rich
actually old Jam rich because that’s how
long ago I went to school here not
really but and I remember being like
I am so gonna be like will time
when I am an adult and I’m gonna be like
that at 25 I know it I am gonna be so
awesome that people are gonna pay me to
come tell them about how awesome I am
well unfortunately I have bad news I’m
25 now almost 26 no one paid me to be
here and like I said I don’t really know
what I’m doing
unfortunately the first time I walked
across the stage and shook the
president’s hand or even a second time I
was not granted the secret to life no
instead I got an empty to pull my folder
deal and a diploma that showed up in the
mail a few weeks later that as of now I
actually don’t know where they are the
first time I got a job
for ferry did not appear and say poof
here’s everything you need to know about
how to fill out your benefits paperwork
and by the way make sure you should
start saving for retirement now and
invest in a Roth IRA I’m gonna be honest
I met with a financial advisor this
morning and I still don’t know what that
means so this leads me to my next point
social media something I absolutely love
like that’s my job to love it and I do
but I also truly despise it what was
initially created as a way to create
communities between one another a way to
create dialogue and have authentic
real-life communications on the Internet
has now become the exact opposite now we
spend our time sharing only the good
parts of our life the good things that
make us look like we have it together
and like work adulting as they say so
now we hide behind these curated stories
you know the ones I’m talking about on
the top of your Instagram feed or the
super awesome selfie hiding to impress
people that most of the time you don’t
like but you’re too nosey to get rid of
and we accomplish two things when we do
this one we break down what social media
was meant to be and two we are
reinforcing this false concept of
adulting this idea that at some point
you will know what’s going on no longer
do we talk about the fact that we may
have accidentally put salt in our
oatmeal instead of sugar but we talk
about the fact that saved a small child
who’s lost in the grocery store no
longer do we talk about the fact that we
don’t know the difference between the
types of nails used to hang up pictures
because there is one apparently we talk
about this awesome date our significant
other took us on because obviously
they’re so awesome all the time now I’d
like to give a little bit of glamour
here I usually like to give these
earlier when I have these types of
conversations but I feel like it fits
here I mean vitamins the Gandhi of
social media or the Einstein of adult
scene
certainly not share who let’s be honest
is killing both of these things I’m just
putting it out there but what I am is
super passionate about being authentic
on social media and encouraging other
people to do the same now am i guilty of
only sharing really nice photos of the
meals like me well I live in Mount
Pleasant and not admitting to the fact
that I have essentially lived off of hot
pockets for two months yes yes I am am I
kind of guilty about only posting about
how excited I am for my new job on
social media and not talking about the
fact that I’m scared out of my mind to
be moving six hours away to a place I
had only been to once before this was
literally my only dog is my friend yeah
yeah okay so I’m guilty but I can’t
expect that ten years of ingrained
social media habits are going to die
overnight for me and I certainly can’t
expect it for you I mean I just like
coming here and weird vomiting at this
hat you weren’t expecting that you’re
just gonna go out and change that’s not
it at all
what I do want is for us as a group in
this room as a society at large to work
at killing off the idea of adulting you
know just offing it like they do with
the bad actors on soap operas I want us
to just use social media to take it off
the menu just stop faking that we’re
achieving this unachievable concept now
okay just bear with me what if instead
of arranging everything’s super nice to
get a really awesome Instagram picture
and putting this like really vague
artistic caption in it that makes you
look cool or so you think
you just take a somewhat subpar photo
but write a really emotionally beautiful
caption about how awesome it was to
spend time with your best friend who’s
come to visit you from out of town what
if instead of bragging about how the
fact that you made it to a new place
without using Google Maps you talked
about the fact that you took the time to
write the directions on a piece of paper
so that you didn’t get lost
what if instead of doing what I did when
you get that awesome job or internship
or whatever it happens to be you’re
honest about how you feel and yes
you I’m sure you are excited I was but
explain that you’re also really nervous
about where you’re going and how you get
a new doctor and if anyone can tell you
how to transfer medical records that
would be awesome
and I also need help with that so if you
want to talk to me after we can talk
about that to stop I know
again this was a lot to throw at you but
what if instead of using social media to
share what we think adults enos we use
social media to talk about what adulting
really is dealt in itself isn’t an end
goal you don’t reach it someday adulting
is a process that’s how you change
throughout your lives it’s making
mistakes and being honest and being
willing to learn and talk to other
people and help other people and feel
Kay and uncomfortable in that weird
uncomfortable place you get when you’re
kinda have to take care of yourself but
you still get to go home to your parents
at the summer or even when you have to
take care of yourself full time okay now
another small disclaimer I really don’t
want you to get creepy about it okay
like I do not and I repeat do not need
to know in excruciating detail how your
cap died no that’s not what I’m getting
at here okay
but knowing that you still sometimes
like tear up when you talk about her
makes me feel better about the fact that
I can’t get rid of my dog’s ashes and
it’s been seven years so it’s my mom
Karen back there who still has those
ashes in her house I promise I will take
care of those later baby so I would love
to wrap this up really like nice and
neat and beautiful for you but that’s
not how life is and let’s be honest
you’re not here for me to just like
present you this beautiful idea you’re
here to think about things outside of
your own silo and to think about the
world in a bigger perspective so if you
can take anything
of this I’m gonna notch that as a win
for me if I could have made you possibly
think a little bit more about this false
life that you’re showing on social media
that’s a double win whatever that win
happens to be I want to leave you all
with a few challenges on how to act on
them moving forward I challenge you to
redefine adulting I challenge you to get
rid of this concept that you are not
currently in adulting and that you never
will be
you are adulting by living by having
passion by being excited about things
and about going after new opportunities
and just doing your best I want you to
get rid of this idea that you are not
currently a member a functioning member
of society because you are
I challenge you to take back social I
challenge you to take back these
platforms that were created as a way to
communicate authentically between people
to share ideas and to have real dialogue
and make them that way again I challenge
you for every over glamorized piece of
your life that you share on social media
because you obviously can’t change
everything overnight for you to tear
challenge you to be authentic on social
media the person you are here right now
in this room you are excited about new
things
you are full of ideas you are here on a
Saturday night listening to people to
expand your worldview that’s the person
I want to see on social media and that’s
a person the world deserves to see on
social media the real authentic adulting version of you thank you
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