this photo was taken on my wedding day
the second of August 2014 your wedding
day is supposed to be one of the
happiest days of your life but unknown
to anyone else at the time the day
before my wedding
I had gambled everything that we had to
pay for the wedding and I spent the next
24 hours borrowing money from payday
loans getting advances in my pay to
ensure that I could feed guests but this
was my life as a compulsive gambler as a
gambler I was a liar I was a manipulator
I was a thief I was verbally abusive I
always push the blame to everyone else
but me I pride myself on my honesty and
my loyalty and my love for my family and
friends but my addiction turned me into
a horrible devious man I was blaming my
wife for her spending habits when in
reality I’d spent 300 pounds in the
blink of an eye so how does a man who
had a successful career and a loving
family and of losing 250,000 pounds in
the space of 12 years on a gambling
addiction my first memory of gambling
was when I was quite young I used to go
with my dad and his friends to the pub
and my dad was in a heavy gambler or at
all he would have the odd flutter here
in there he’d put in two or three pounds
in the machine and I would watch them
watch the machine the flashing lights
the money going in the money going out
and this would just mesmerize me
obviously at that age I didn’t
understand the dangers of gambling at
the age of 16 I decided to gamble by
myself go into the local CAF with my
friends and there was a fruit machine
there and again it started off
innocently me putting in a couple of
pounds just going on our lunch break but
then
turning to me spending my time there for
two-three hours at a time
gambling missing class and rather than
doing what most 16 year-olds will be
doing like chatting up girls or playing
football I was just hooked on these
machines the next year a friend of mine
introduced me to the bookies and in the
bookies as we walked in there were these
machines fixed odds betting terminals
otherwise known as fo BTS
they’re known in the gambling industry
as the crack cocaine of gambling their
casino style machines where you can play
roulette or blackjack or slots you
deposit your cash into the machine or if
you don’t have cash you simply take your
card to the counter but as much money as
you like straight onto the machine there
are usually four in every bookies and I
sat there with him as he put ten pounds
into the machine and within minutes he
had 100 pounds I couldn’t contemplate
how it was possible to earn such a large
amount of money in such a short space of
time
obviously I didn’t see the losses that
coupled up just to give you an idea of
how addictive and destructive these
machines are you can bet a hundred
pounds every 20 seconds on these
machines that’s 300 pounds a minute or
9,000 pounds in half an hour
9,000 pounds is a car 9,000 pounds is a
year at uni how was it possible to lose
9,000 pounds in the space of half an
hour in the UK High Street the
University of Cambridgeshire recently
did a study into the brain of a
compulsive gambler and what they
concluded is that the endorphins that
you get during a gambling addiction are
exactly the same is that for a drug user
during a drug addiction and so with
these machines getting that hit
every 20 seconds is even more powerful
to us and it’s the reason why we just
continued to gamble constantly in fact
the UK is the only developed country to
be able to have these machines on the
high street which allow you to gamble
100 pounds every 20 seconds how is this
possible
so what is compulsive gambling
compulsive gambling otherwise known as
pathological gambling is an impulse
control disorder which means we can’t
control the impulse to gamble even if it
has negative consequences there are
500,000 problem gamblers in the UK which
is up 1/3 in 3 years and they say for
each problem gambler
it affects at least 6 family or friends
that’s 3 million people in the UK
affected by problem gambling the thing
about problem gambling is is very much a
hidden addiction with alcohol addiction
or drug addiction you can see the
effects that it has in those individuals
but with gambling you just can’t tell
I’ve walked out of bookies sick to the
pit of my stomach where I’ve gambled a
month’s wages in the space of half an
hour my rent money the thought of my
family being on the street and then the
guilt sets in and I realized what I’ve
done and I have to live with the
consequences my life was utterly
dictated by these machines I recently
did a number of interviews for the BBC
and ITV about gambling addiction and all
the questions that was asked were how
much did you lose and how bad did it get
and how much did you lose in your lunch
break and everything was just money
related and I really didn’t like these
questions and I’ll tell you why the
money is irrelevant and I know that
sounds silly but it really is obviously
at the time it was important and it was
the reason why I was gambling but I can
earn money back through hard work yes it
will take me a long time to earn 250,000
pounds back but I can what I can’t
is take away the pain that I caused my
family what I can’t do is get that time
back that I lost with my children as i
sat there gambling my gambling addiction
led me to ignoring my children it led me
to do the 4 a.m. night feed with our
first child but not because I wanted to
help my wife but because I wanted to
stay up gambling till four o’clock in
the morning it led me to gambling my
rent money it was looking for that hit
all the time I was constantly on the
phone and I was always lying I turned
into a selfish man I was always looking
for that instant fix and that’s the
thing with gambling addiction there
isn’t one it either ends by a stopping
like I have now or ends with us on the
streets in prison or dead and that is a
stark reality of it on January the 28th
2016 I decided that enough was enough
I walked into the local gammas Anonymous
room on a Thursday in Kingston and I sat
there as I wanted to know what I could
do to stop the chair for the evening was
Ken and he really helped me in
understanding of my addiction I had been
to gammas Anonymous a number of times
over the last 12 years but this time
felt different this time I felt a
connection I met lots of different
people from all walks of life and that’s
the thing with gambling addiction is
there is no make up for an addict it can
happen to anyone I chaired my first
meeting after a few months and now I was
giving advice to other people the same
advice that Ken gave me for 12 years I
was selfish for 12 years I was a
horrible man now was the time to make up
to my family and try and help others
I’ve got in touch with the BBC of
few months after I gave up because I
wanted to show the effects of these
machines and how bad they can get they
put me in touch with the MP for Swansea
Carolyn Harris who was running a
campaign in government to try and reduce
the stakes on on these machines from a
hundred pounds every twenty seconds to
two pounds i sat with her and we filled
out an evidence pack to was about six
pages long but that was submitted as
part of the the hearing and on generally
the 23rd we had should have an outcome
and hopefully we’ll get to pound snakes
what worries me most about these
machines is that it starts off as a
social thing just like it did with me
and then you turn into going into your
lock onto your lunch breaks spending
your whole month’s wages just like it
did with me
the thing is the reality of it is we’re
never going to stop gambling addiction
there are always going to be addicts but
as a country we need to do more to
minimise the risk and at the moment
we’re not having a hundred pound stakes
every 20 seconds is not minimizing the
risk having the spin speed every 20
seconds
we’re gamblers are getting that
endorphin and that hit is not minimizing
the risk having four to five bookies on
every High Street is not minimizing the
risk and having no education about
gambling addiction in schools is not
minimizing the risk over the past 22
months of my recovery I’ve learned a few
things and these are the things that I
think are really important in any type
of addiction recovery the first is being
honest absolutely honest to your people
will parent your family and your friends
around you about what you’ve done and
it’s not just about being honest then
it’s about being honest in the future
whenever I’m struggling I always talk to
my wife about how things are going and
how I’m feeling the second is having a
consequence of motivation
if you have no consequence or motivation
to give up it’s really tough there needs
to be a reason for you to stop every
time I walk to a bookies I think of a
scale my family on one side and gambling
on the other which is more important to
me and the third is getting help whether
that be through gammas Anonymous or
alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics
Anonymous or even go into your GP to see
what’s available in the NHS is really
important that you get support my
addiction is lifelong I have to deal
with the fact that I can never gamble
again and I miss it I really do and
that’s that that’s the hardest thing is
that I have to live with the fact that I
can’t do something I really enjoyed but
I can’t continue with that because I
know it will take me back to where I was
so as my talk comes to a close there’s a
few things I want you to take away
tonight the first thing is remember that
gambling addiction can happen to anyone
there is no makeup
we aren’t inherently bad people we’ve
just made bad decisions
the second is recovery getting help and
breaking that cycle is so important and
that’s one of the key reasons why I’ve
stopped and the third is education I
urge you to speak to your kids your
grandkids your nieces your nephews about
the dangers of gambling addiction I know
that gambling can happen at any time
stopping isn’t simple but life is much
better now I have my priorities straight
and I am the person I always wanted to
be thank you
you
the second of August 2014 your wedding
day is supposed to be one of the
happiest days of your life but unknown
to anyone else at the time the day
before my wedding
I had gambled everything that we had to
pay for the wedding and I spent the next
24 hours borrowing money from payday
loans getting advances in my pay to
ensure that I could feed guests but this
was my life as a compulsive gambler as a
gambler I was a liar I was a manipulator
I was a thief I was verbally abusive I
always push the blame to everyone else
but me I pride myself on my honesty and
my loyalty and my love for my family and
friends but my addiction turned me into
a horrible devious man I was blaming my
wife for her spending habits when in
reality I’d spent 300 pounds in the
blink of an eye so how does a man who
had a successful career and a loving
family and of losing 250,000 pounds in
the space of 12 years on a gambling
addiction my first memory of gambling
was when I was quite young I used to go
with my dad and his friends to the pub
and my dad was in a heavy gambler or at
all he would have the odd flutter here
in there he’d put in two or three pounds
in the machine and I would watch them
watch the machine the flashing lights
the money going in the money going out
and this would just mesmerize me
obviously at that age I didn’t
understand the dangers of gambling at
the age of 16 I decided to gamble by
myself go into the local CAF with my
friends and there was a fruit machine
there and again it started off
innocently me putting in a couple of
pounds just going on our lunch break but
then
turning to me spending my time there for
two-three hours at a time
gambling missing class and rather than
doing what most 16 year-olds will be
doing like chatting up girls or playing
football I was just hooked on these
machines the next year a friend of mine
introduced me to the bookies and in the
bookies as we walked in there were these
machines fixed odds betting terminals
otherwise known as fo BTS
they’re known in the gambling industry
as the crack cocaine of gambling their
casino style machines where you can play
roulette or blackjack or slots you
deposit your cash into the machine or if
you don’t have cash you simply take your
card to the counter but as much money as
you like straight onto the machine there
are usually four in every bookies and I
sat there with him as he put ten pounds
into the machine and within minutes he
had 100 pounds I couldn’t contemplate
how it was possible to earn such a large
amount of money in such a short space of
time
obviously I didn’t see the losses that
coupled up just to give you an idea of
how addictive and destructive these
machines are you can bet a hundred
pounds every 20 seconds on these
machines that’s 300 pounds a minute or
9,000 pounds in half an hour
9,000 pounds is a car 9,000 pounds is a
year at uni how was it possible to lose
9,000 pounds in the space of half an
hour in the UK High Street the
University of Cambridgeshire recently
did a study into the brain of a
compulsive gambler and what they
concluded is that the endorphins that
you get during a gambling addiction are
exactly the same is that for a drug user
during a drug addiction and so with
these machines getting that hit
every 20 seconds is even more powerful
to us and it’s the reason why we just
continued to gamble constantly in fact
the UK is the only developed country to
be able to have these machines on the
high street which allow you to gamble
100 pounds every 20 seconds how is this
possible
so what is compulsive gambling
compulsive gambling otherwise known as
pathological gambling is an impulse
control disorder which means we can’t
control the impulse to gamble even if it
has negative consequences there are
500,000 problem gamblers in the UK which
is up 1/3 in 3 years and they say for
each problem gambler
it affects at least 6 family or friends
that’s 3 million people in the UK
affected by problem gambling the thing
about problem gambling is is very much a
hidden addiction with alcohol addiction
or drug addiction you can see the
effects that it has in those individuals
but with gambling you just can’t tell
I’ve walked out of bookies sick to the
pit of my stomach where I’ve gambled a
month’s wages in the space of half an
hour my rent money the thought of my
family being on the street and then the
guilt sets in and I realized what I’ve
done and I have to live with the
consequences my life was utterly
dictated by these machines I recently
did a number of interviews for the BBC
and ITV about gambling addiction and all
the questions that was asked were how
much did you lose and how bad did it get
and how much did you lose in your lunch
break and everything was just money
related and I really didn’t like these
questions and I’ll tell you why the
money is irrelevant and I know that
sounds silly but it really is obviously
at the time it was important and it was
the reason why I was gambling but I can
earn money back through hard work yes it
will take me a long time to earn 250,000
pounds back but I can what I can’t
is take away the pain that I caused my
family what I can’t do is get that time
back that I lost with my children as i
sat there gambling my gambling addiction
led me to ignoring my children it led me
to do the 4 a.m. night feed with our
first child but not because I wanted to
help my wife but because I wanted to
stay up gambling till four o’clock in
the morning it led me to gambling my
rent money it was looking for that hit
all the time I was constantly on the
phone and I was always lying I turned
into a selfish man I was always looking
for that instant fix and that’s the
thing with gambling addiction there
isn’t one it either ends by a stopping
like I have now or ends with us on the
streets in prison or dead and that is a
stark reality of it on January the 28th
2016 I decided that enough was enough
I walked into the local gammas Anonymous
room on a Thursday in Kingston and I sat
there as I wanted to know what I could
do to stop the chair for the evening was
Ken and he really helped me in
understanding of my addiction I had been
to gammas Anonymous a number of times
over the last 12 years but this time
felt different this time I felt a
connection I met lots of different
people from all walks of life and that’s
the thing with gambling addiction is
there is no make up for an addict it can
happen to anyone I chaired my first
meeting after a few months and now I was
giving advice to other people the same
advice that Ken gave me for 12 years I
was selfish for 12 years I was a
horrible man now was the time to make up
to my family and try and help others
I’ve got in touch with the BBC of
few months after I gave up because I
wanted to show the effects of these
machines and how bad they can get they
put me in touch with the MP for Swansea
Carolyn Harris who was running a
campaign in government to try and reduce
the stakes on on these machines from a
hundred pounds every twenty seconds to
two pounds i sat with her and we filled
out an evidence pack to was about six
pages long but that was submitted as
part of the the hearing and on generally
the 23rd we had should have an outcome
and hopefully we’ll get to pound snakes
what worries me most about these
machines is that it starts off as a
social thing just like it did with me
and then you turn into going into your
lock onto your lunch breaks spending
your whole month’s wages just like it
did with me
the thing is the reality of it is we’re
never going to stop gambling addiction
there are always going to be addicts but
as a country we need to do more to
minimise the risk and at the moment
we’re not having a hundred pound stakes
every 20 seconds is not minimizing the
risk having the spin speed every 20
seconds
we’re gamblers are getting that
endorphin and that hit is not minimizing
the risk having four to five bookies on
every High Street is not minimizing the
risk and having no education about
gambling addiction in schools is not
minimizing the risk over the past 22
months of my recovery I’ve learned a few
things and these are the things that I
think are really important in any type
of addiction recovery the first is being
honest absolutely honest to your people
will parent your family and your friends
around you about what you’ve done and
it’s not just about being honest then
it’s about being honest in the future
whenever I’m struggling I always talk to
my wife about how things are going and
how I’m feeling the second is having a
consequence of motivation
if you have no consequence or motivation
to give up it’s really tough there needs
to be a reason for you to stop every
time I walk to a bookies I think of a
scale my family on one side and gambling
on the other which is more important to
me and the third is getting help whether
that be through gammas Anonymous or
alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics
Anonymous or even go into your GP to see
what’s available in the NHS is really
important that you get support my
addiction is lifelong I have to deal
with the fact that I can never gamble
again and I miss it I really do and
that’s that that’s the hardest thing is
that I have to live with the fact that I
can’t do something I really enjoyed but
I can’t continue with that because I
know it will take me back to where I was
so as my talk comes to a close there’s a
few things I want you to take away
tonight the first thing is remember that
gambling addiction can happen to anyone
there is no makeup
we aren’t inherently bad people we’ve
just made bad decisions
the second is recovery getting help and
breaking that cycle is so important and
that’s one of the key reasons why I’ve
stopped and the third is education I
urge you to speak to your kids your
grandkids your nieces your nephews about
the dangers of gambling addiction I know
that gambling can happen at any time
stopping isn’t simple but life is much
better now I have my priorities straight
and I am the person I always wanted to
be thank you
you
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