how many of you by show of hands know
who Captain Underpants is wonderful but
for those who don’t he’s a children’s
superhero created by two elementary
school boys he’s actually my favorite
superhero not because it’s fun to say
the word underpants but because he’s
altruistic he has a great imagination
he’s honest and he values friendship all
the qualities that I hope I have you see
I’m an optimist I lead this kind of
bubble-wrapped
unicorns skittles and rainbows kind of
life some like my wife Lori think I’m
naive I think it’s a wonderful way to go
through life I also believe that 95% of
bad things that you think about never
happen and the other 5% me you can deal
with so I’m having lunch one day with a
longtime friend his name is Brian and he
drops this bombshell
he says Dan I’m in stage four renal
failure and next week
I’m going to the University of Minnesota
and in all likelihood going to become
one of 95,000 people in this country to
be placed on a waiting list for a kidney
Wow so that night I’m googling the
University of Minnesota and stage for
renal failure and you know what Brian’s
one sneeze away from dialysis so from
that website
I learned four things of the 15,000 200
people who got a kidney transplant last
year only 5,800 came from a living donor
if you got a kidney from a living donor
you actually have better health outcomes
third is if you gave a kidney you live
longer than the rest of the population
and lastly thirteen people a night come
off that list not because they gave a
kidney today they got a kidney today but
because they died waiting for that
so at the bottom of the right corner of
the website there’s this little tab that
says if you’re interested in learning
more about being a living kidney donor
click here I figured what the hell this
is a simple math problem I’ve got two
kidneys Brian needs one I probably can
live with one take mine you know that
simple little keystroke and I filled out
an online survey as I hid that case
trunk set off a journey that I never
imagined I would take so I’m sitting at
home one day and out of the corner of my
eye my wife Laurie is opening a piece of
mail from the University of Minnesota
thank you for your interest in the
living kidney donation program he you
see I never told her then I filled out
this online survey so I did what all
great optimist do i minimized this
situation I said Brian’s got a
challenging health situation I filled
out this survey and only six and a half
percent of people who fill out the
survey actually donate a kidney to the
University of Minnesota there’s a number
of steps to go through and they only
took 84 people last year I’ve had
multiple surgeries
I’ve got autoimmune issues they’d be
fools if they called me I really can’t
but it’s safe to say she was imprinting
the go team Dan t-shirts I get a call a
couple days later from the University of
Minnesota transplant coordinator
introduces yourself and says I’ve got a
few questions about the online server
you took but you know what we want to
send you to the next step
which involves just a bit of blood work
and a urine sample so I called Laurie of
course there once you go to the next
step
said hang on it’s just a bit of free lab
work don’t worry about it the blood work
turns out to be 17 tubes of blood they
thought I was getting dizzy so they
offered me juice and crackers I’m
thinking free treats and you know what
all of that lab work comes back normal
then there was this urine collection
this isn’t your typical pee in a cup
hand it to somebody collection this was
a 24 hour contribution how do you do
that the woman behind the lab gives me
this incredulous look bends down hands
me a gallon container and says well the
first time you go you write the time
down
24 hours later you bring it back by the
way how much water did you drink today
about two gallons she immediately bends
down and hands me another container not
my first party oh honey so here I am
with these two gallons walking out of
the waiting room this crowded waiting
room and I hear this voice in back of me
going
remember that urine needs to be
refrigerated so
imagine with me if you would in your
fridge you’ve got your milk your eggs
your yogurt your urine and your butter
so I start filling up that first
container you know what I top that baby
off and I’m going into that second
container and my manliness is kicking in
testosterone is oozing out of every pore
of my body and the next day I bring
those two bottles of chilled your and I
drop them off the desk drop them off at
her desk and I cannot wait for my
transplant coordinator to call me wow
she gushed you have great kidney
filtration what do you say to that
Thanks we’d love for you to come to the
University of Minnesota to for the
physical of your life I’m thinking what
better doesn’t go to the land of 10,000
lakes in January so I did what I always
do I called Lori and you guessed it of
course you passed and they want you to
have a physical I said hang on I’ve got
great kidney filtration and it’s a free
physical so knowing this Lori wanted
somebody to go with me because as
optimists we tend to minimize things so
somebody needed to take notes and ask
questions conveniently my daughter Sarah
lives in Minneapolis so she draws the
short straw and most of my family
because the multiple surgeries I’ve had
think I’m just a bit fragile I
respectfully disagree so every time a
nurse practitioner the dietician the
transplant coordinator the nephrologist
the psychologist each one of them when
they come in and say wow you really are
a healthy 58 year old I turn to my
daughter Sarah and said write that down
but when they all explained the risks of
donating a kidney and living with one
kidney the financial risks the medical
risks and all the risks emotionally to
your family I didn’t want that to be
written down so I minimized it and then
at the end of the day we got to meet the
transplant surgeon so he explains the
procedure shows me a 3d imaging of my
kidneys which is really kind of cool and
then says I need to make a four-inch
incision right above your belly button
my daughter asked why four inches and
we’re thinking there’s a medical reason
for this now he said I need to go in I
need enough space to go in and grab the
kidney and that’s about four inches
perfect sense so that night when I was
going home I knew a couple things number
one that Sarah would have already sent
the notes to Lori that she took for the
day and that we’d be discussing this
so I remember clearly what I had for
dinner that night I had a salad Lori had
a steak and she got a side of brutal
honesty and transparency about my
physical on March 16th I get a call from
the University of Minnesota
congratulations
the transplant team is determined you
are compatible to donate a kidney great
called Lori of course you’re compatible
to donate a kidney
I said well I’m compatible but it
doesn’t say I’m compatible with Brian
the next day congratulations you are
directly compatible with Brian please
give us a call so I called Laurie of
course you’re directly compatible I said
hang on though you know I’ve never been
in a position like this
I never imagined over the course of six
months that I’d be in a position to have
to make a decision like that so when I
call my transplant coordinator she said
when do you want to schedule surgery and
now being a healthy 58 year old has kind
of come back and bite me in the bite
Captain Underpants it’s got a problem
here so Lori and I the next day we’re
having breakfast and I said what do I do
and her answer both surprised me and
actually showed how much he cares and
loves me
she said you know what we live our lives
and make big decisions within two areas
risk and reasonable risk everything that
you’ve told me everything that I’ve read
and everything that you’ve had tested
appears to be a reasonable risk
financially medically and for our family
so even though I may not be the biggest
fan of what you might want to do I’ll
support whatever decision you make great
you know I was kind of hoping she’d say
I’ll divorce you if you do this
and you that a but you know what that
have been easy cuz I don’t call my
transplant coordinator and just like
that I said I’m out but you know what
now it was my decision it was mine alone
the next six days were hell I lost some
sleep
I couldn’t eat didn’t ask anybody’s
opinion prayed a bit what in God’s green
earth am I thinking why do I want to
give a healthy organ to anybody and then
all the what-if questions come into my
mind what if something goes wrong what
if my recovery is longer than normal
what if I can’t be a healthy 58 year old
anymore what if I die crap that would
suck but then in the middle of the night
I heard my mother’s voice and and she
said Danny
if you’re ever in her position or
privileged enough to help somebody
regardless of the risk you’ve got to do
it because that’s why you’re here not
helping mom
on May 17th I was fortunate enough to be
the eighteenth person at the University
of Minnesota to become a living kidney
and as of today the four thousand 715
person across the United States to be a
living kidney donor this year and the
best part is my kidney now in Brian’s
body started working immediately I was
in the hospital for two days
my recovery went well and in the end I’m
a healthy 58 year old but when I got
home all my friends and neighbors
considered me a hero what courage you
have such selflessness what a gift you
gave and on and on and on some even said
there’s a special place in heaven for
people like you you know what thank you
but I see it just a bit different way
this was a great six-month adventure one
that took me far outside of my comfort
zone and in the end my mom was right as
she always was I was privileged and I
was put in a position to help Brian
maybe one day hug his grandchildren
extending somebody’s life guys it just
doesn’t get a whole lot better than that
we live in a very small world
and within five or six degrees of
separation each one of us has a friend
who’s got a brother who’s got an uncle
who’s gonna nice who’s got an aunt who
probably is on the kidney waiting list
with somebody in the audience today join
me make Captain Underpants proud and
lower the donation list just by one
thank you you
who Captain Underpants is wonderful but
for those who don’t he’s a children’s
superhero created by two elementary
school boys he’s actually my favorite
superhero not because it’s fun to say
the word underpants but because he’s
altruistic he has a great imagination
he’s honest and he values friendship all
the qualities that I hope I have you see
I’m an optimist I lead this kind of
bubble-wrapped
unicorns skittles and rainbows kind of
life some like my wife Lori think I’m
naive I think it’s a wonderful way to go
through life I also believe that 95% of
bad things that you think about never
happen and the other 5% me you can deal
with so I’m having lunch one day with a
longtime friend his name is Brian and he
drops this bombshell
he says Dan I’m in stage four renal
failure and next week
I’m going to the University of Minnesota
and in all likelihood going to become
one of 95,000 people in this country to
be placed on a waiting list for a kidney
Wow so that night I’m googling the
University of Minnesota and stage for
renal failure and you know what Brian’s
one sneeze away from dialysis so from
that website
I learned four things of the 15,000 200
people who got a kidney transplant last
year only 5,800 came from a living donor
if you got a kidney from a living donor
you actually have better health outcomes
third is if you gave a kidney you live
longer than the rest of the population
and lastly thirteen people a night come
off that list not because they gave a
kidney today they got a kidney today but
because they died waiting for that
so at the bottom of the right corner of
the website there’s this little tab that
says if you’re interested in learning
more about being a living kidney donor
click here I figured what the hell this
is a simple math problem I’ve got two
kidneys Brian needs one I probably can
live with one take mine you know that
simple little keystroke and I filled out
an online survey as I hid that case
trunk set off a journey that I never
imagined I would take so I’m sitting at
home one day and out of the corner of my
eye my wife Laurie is opening a piece of
mail from the University of Minnesota
thank you for your interest in the
living kidney donation program he you
see I never told her then I filled out
this online survey so I did what all
great optimist do i minimized this
situation I said Brian’s got a
challenging health situation I filled
out this survey and only six and a half
percent of people who fill out the
survey actually donate a kidney to the
University of Minnesota there’s a number
of steps to go through and they only
took 84 people last year I’ve had
multiple surgeries
I’ve got autoimmune issues they’d be
fools if they called me I really can’t
but it’s safe to say she was imprinting
the go team Dan t-shirts I get a call a
couple days later from the University of
Minnesota transplant coordinator
introduces yourself and says I’ve got a
few questions about the online server
you took but you know what we want to
send you to the next step
which involves just a bit of blood work
and a urine sample so I called Laurie of
course there once you go to the next
step
said hang on it’s just a bit of free lab
work don’t worry about it the blood work
turns out to be 17 tubes of blood they
thought I was getting dizzy so they
offered me juice and crackers I’m
thinking free treats and you know what
all of that lab work comes back normal
then there was this urine collection
this isn’t your typical pee in a cup
hand it to somebody collection this was
a 24 hour contribution how do you do
that the woman behind the lab gives me
this incredulous look bends down hands
me a gallon container and says well the
first time you go you write the time
down
24 hours later you bring it back by the
way how much water did you drink today
about two gallons she immediately bends
down and hands me another container not
my first party oh honey so here I am
with these two gallons walking out of
the waiting room this crowded waiting
room and I hear this voice in back of me
going
remember that urine needs to be
refrigerated so
imagine with me if you would in your
fridge you’ve got your milk your eggs
your yogurt your urine and your butter
so I start filling up that first
container you know what I top that baby
off and I’m going into that second
container and my manliness is kicking in
testosterone is oozing out of every pore
of my body and the next day I bring
those two bottles of chilled your and I
drop them off the desk drop them off at
her desk and I cannot wait for my
transplant coordinator to call me wow
she gushed you have great kidney
filtration what do you say to that
Thanks we’d love for you to come to the
University of Minnesota to for the
physical of your life I’m thinking what
better doesn’t go to the land of 10,000
lakes in January so I did what I always
do I called Lori and you guessed it of
course you passed and they want you to
have a physical I said hang on I’ve got
great kidney filtration and it’s a free
physical so knowing this Lori wanted
somebody to go with me because as
optimists we tend to minimize things so
somebody needed to take notes and ask
questions conveniently my daughter Sarah
lives in Minneapolis so she draws the
short straw and most of my family
because the multiple surgeries I’ve had
think I’m just a bit fragile I
respectfully disagree so every time a
nurse practitioner the dietician the
transplant coordinator the nephrologist
the psychologist each one of them when
they come in and say wow you really are
a healthy 58 year old I turn to my
daughter Sarah and said write that down
but when they all explained the risks of
donating a kidney and living with one
kidney the financial risks the medical
risks and all the risks emotionally to
your family I didn’t want that to be
written down so I minimized it and then
at the end of the day we got to meet the
transplant surgeon so he explains the
procedure shows me a 3d imaging of my
kidneys which is really kind of cool and
then says I need to make a four-inch
incision right above your belly button
my daughter asked why four inches and
we’re thinking there’s a medical reason
for this now he said I need to go in I
need enough space to go in and grab the
kidney and that’s about four inches
perfect sense so that night when I was
going home I knew a couple things number
one that Sarah would have already sent
the notes to Lori that she took for the
day and that we’d be discussing this
so I remember clearly what I had for
dinner that night I had a salad Lori had
a steak and she got a side of brutal
honesty and transparency about my
physical on March 16th I get a call from
the University of Minnesota
congratulations
the transplant team is determined you
are compatible to donate a kidney great
called Lori of course you’re compatible
to donate a kidney
I said well I’m compatible but it
doesn’t say I’m compatible with Brian
the next day congratulations you are
directly compatible with Brian please
give us a call so I called Laurie of
course you’re directly compatible I said
hang on though you know I’ve never been
in a position like this
I never imagined over the course of six
months that I’d be in a position to have
to make a decision like that so when I
call my transplant coordinator she said
when do you want to schedule surgery and
now being a healthy 58 year old has kind
of come back and bite me in the bite
Captain Underpants it’s got a problem
here so Lori and I the next day we’re
having breakfast and I said what do I do
and her answer both surprised me and
actually showed how much he cares and
loves me
she said you know what we live our lives
and make big decisions within two areas
risk and reasonable risk everything that
you’ve told me everything that I’ve read
and everything that you’ve had tested
appears to be a reasonable risk
financially medically and for our family
so even though I may not be the biggest
fan of what you might want to do I’ll
support whatever decision you make great
you know I was kind of hoping she’d say
I’ll divorce you if you do this
and you that a but you know what that
have been easy cuz I don’t call my
transplant coordinator and just like
that I said I’m out but you know what
now it was my decision it was mine alone
the next six days were hell I lost some
sleep
I couldn’t eat didn’t ask anybody’s
opinion prayed a bit what in God’s green
earth am I thinking why do I want to
give a healthy organ to anybody and then
all the what-if questions come into my
mind what if something goes wrong what
if my recovery is longer than normal
what if I can’t be a healthy 58 year old
anymore what if I die crap that would
suck but then in the middle of the night
I heard my mother’s voice and and she
said Danny
if you’re ever in her position or
privileged enough to help somebody
regardless of the risk you’ve got to do
it because that’s why you’re here not
helping mom
on May 17th I was fortunate enough to be
the eighteenth person at the University
of Minnesota to become a living kidney
and as of today the four thousand 715
person across the United States to be a
living kidney donor this year and the
best part is my kidney now in Brian’s
body started working immediately I was
in the hospital for two days
my recovery went well and in the end I’m
a healthy 58 year old but when I got
home all my friends and neighbors
considered me a hero what courage you
have such selflessness what a gift you
gave and on and on and on some even said
there’s a special place in heaven for
people like you you know what thank you
but I see it just a bit different way
this was a great six-month adventure one
that took me far outside of my comfort
zone and in the end my mom was right as
she always was I was privileged and I
was put in a position to help Brian
maybe one day hug his grandchildren
extending somebody’s life guys it just
doesn’t get a whole lot better than that
we live in a very small world
and within five or six degrees of
separation each one of us has a friend
who’s got a brother who’s got an uncle
who’s gonna nice who’s got an aunt who
probably is on the kidney waiting list
with somebody in the audience today join
me make Captain Underpants proud and
lower the donation list just by one
thank you you
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