hi so we’re going to start things off
this evening with a little bit of
audience participation do me a favor
raise your hand if you have ever had a
feeling or an emotional response to
something good we’re not all robots all
right so but really think about this for
a second we are a diverse group of
people we’ve come from different places
of the world some of us speak different
languages we certainly all have
different thoughts and opinions on
things yet we were all just able to
unanimously agree on a shared experience
that shared experience being that we
have feelings and emotions now I want to
ask you this how often do you find
yourself in the company of others having
a conversation about your feelings and
emotions depending on what your job is
you know it might be often but most of
us would say not very often at all I
find that to be I’m troublesome we all
just SAT here and agreed that it’s that
we’re all having it um the problem with
that is that if we don’t talk about it
it’s not like they go away right if we
close our eyes and pretend like it’s not
happening it’s still happening we’re
just not talking about it so um that is
in and of itself as a problem the next
thing we’re going to start things off
with doing another thing we’re I want
you to look at somebody one of your
partners find somebody in the audience
or make eye contact probably someone
sitting next to you for the introverts
I’m sorry I want you to look at them
we’re going to ask a deep and personal
question so are you ready the question
I’d like you to ask the person you’re
looking at and by the way I seriously
want you to do this is how are you
okay so some of us are going oh man that
was not as bad as I thought it was going
to be others are four other others of us
are going that was exactly as awful as I
thought it would be and there’s a
variety of responses there in between so
your next thought is probably well that
wasn’t a deep and personal question at
all right well I’m here to offer you the
the answer that it is actually we don’t
treat that question with the amount of
weight and importance that we should
write I’d like to tell you a quick story
so my wife and I have a friend he came
to the United States to do his undergrad
and eventually got his master’s degree
here and when he got here he was excited
he was making friends friendly guy and
he reached the point on campus where he
recognized people they recognized him
you know they’re doing the thing they’re
walking he makes eye contact smile okay
we’re off to a good start the guy goes
hey how are you and he gets excited and
so he stops you almost like gets in his
way right and he starts talking to him
and he’s animated he’s talking and he’s
telling him all about his day for like
10-15 minutes right and then he starts
to like slowly pick up on the social
cues of like yeah this guy does not
really care what I what my day is like
so then goes on his day happens again
and he starts to notice this pattern
right and then it dawns on him that no
one really cares about the answer that
that’s given and slowly but surely we
broke him of that habit think about that
for a second we broke him of the habit
of stopping and waiting to listen to the
quiet earlier to answer the question how
are you feeling today I think that’s
incredibly sad to be honest with you
right see where he came from you asked
the question and you stopped you cared
you wanted to know and you wanted to
share so all of these sorts of things
combined have led me to start to think
about some ways that we can start
having conversations about emotions how
we can start starting a dialogue about
the things we don’t talk about and
taking the time to do it so that led me
to a project that I call step into my
world step into my world is a
three-dimensional art project that uses
virtual reality technology to allow
people to express their emotions in a 3d
space right we can’t they come in and
it’s super simple we just we just did it
really I say how are you today and they
say blank and I go great show me let me
see what that feels like let me
understand what that feels like so then
they get to to stand in this this
limitless space and create right and
express their emotions in this artistic
way it’s so amazing to see somebody do
it the look on their faces just sheer
joy or terror but usually it’s joy right
when they get to experience that but
that’s actually not the really cool part
what I get most excited about is what we
do after the arts go mate see after the
arts we made I bring in other people
right and we we put them in it and we
offer them the opportunity to actually
step into the world of the person that
created it they get the same field of
view they’re using the exact same
technology right in essence it’s a
window into their world into their brain
so I didn’t do slides because I’m gonna
actually show you what this looks like
as a word of caution I seriously cannot
see so I’m going to expect some empathy
and if I’m about to fall off the stage
just a second all right so on if we look
over here this is exactly what I see see
the question I asked was how are you
feeling the response I got was good so
take a moment to understand what well
good is see what I see is that good is
one two three four faces all that look
different it’s a moon I’m pointing
because that’s my reality it’s a son
right it’s also a tornado back here
right all of a sudden good has so much
more depth than understanding oh it’s
also I don’t know right suddenly the
dialogue of how are you feeling becomes
so much richer here I’m going to take
this off and that dialogue piece is
actually what it’s all about because
after the Arts done and after someone
has viewed it we get to have a
conversation see in that conversation
they talk about what it felt like to be
in someone else’s shoes right to have a
better understanding of what that
emotion was it’s truly the opportunity
to stand in someone else’s shoes I don’t
know if you heard that as a kid I was a
small I was the smallest of three so I
heard that a lot how would your brother
feel so um it’s an incredible experience
but what ends up happening is that
people want to talk see suddenly the the
topic that people wouldn’t talk about
they’re engaged they want to talk about
it it’s unique all right so they have a
conversation with me but then they want
to go talk to their friends about it all
right first it starts about the
experience he was so cool
look around I can move in this 3d space
and then slowly but surely the
conversation drifts towards like I
totally understand why they drew a moon
or like I don’t understand that I would
have drawn that and now all of a sudden
were having a conversation about a topic
that we treat as if it’s taboo but we
all just agreed that it’s something that
we’re all experiencing so I guess what
I’m encouraging you to do what I
challenge you to do is after you leave
here figure out a way to navigate the
world so that you stop so that you wait
you listen you care about the question
you care about the response and that the
response now has greater depth and
meaning than it ever had before see
because stepping into someone else’s
shoes isn’t just a phrase it’s a
possibility now it’s also a way of life
it’s the way we do things I also
encourage you to go out and to have a
conversation start a conversation that
you’re not comfortable with I promise
you I promise you whatever happens after
you start the conversation will be worth
it thank you [Applause]