[Music]
[Applause]
you
please raise your hand if you recognize
this sound okay don’t say who okay it’s
a few you can recognize the sound let me
put it in context for the rest of you
[Music]
[Music]
okay
so a lot more of you recognize who that
is now this is of course Steve Austin
the bionic man the six million dollar
man the man of my childhood dreams okay
every Saturday morning for half an hour
I got to immerse myself in the heroic
world of Steve Austin though looking
back the acting is somewhat ham and the
heroin so irritating I’m surprised he
rescued her at all but however there’s
nothing that you can’t like about Steve
Austin today I want to explore the
impact of connecting with our heroes and
so on that basis I’m going to give you
five seconds I’d like you to turn to
somebody next to you and tell them which
childhood superhero was the one that you
connected with you’ve got five seconds
here’s the thing though about those
characters we’re seeing a resurgence
aren’t we of Marvel heroes and I’m
really thrilled about that not just
because they make great movies to go and
watch but because I actually think that
the world needs more heroes the trouble
is with these fictitious heroes we look
at their supernatural powers and
although we may aspire or dream to be
like them it’s utterly impossible and so
we’re not really motivated to their
actions because of course we can’t
emulate them at all heroes are often
defined by ordinary people doing
extraordinary things
a man called Gerard Way depicted that in
1977 and that’s often the case and the
great thing about ordinary people doing
extraordinary things is that when we
look at them we can be motivated we can
connect with them because the things
that they achieve are in the possibility
for us to so I’d like you in the next
five seconds to tell the person next to
you which ordinary hero you connect with
maybe somebody famous maybe a neighbor
so just tell somebody next to you the
name of someone an ordinary person who’s
done something extraordinary
that you connect with you know ordinary
heroes are really amazing
aren’t they and obviously this is a TED
talk and you’re probably thinking oh
he’s just about to share some really
epic stories something in my life that I
could share with you that would inspire
you excite you and motivate you to do
life better well I could you see I was
once on an airplane where I saved
somebody’s life my husband and I
traveled last you to a communist country
where we distributed vast amounts of
medicines there was even an occasion at
our dinner table when we invited a
convicted murderer round and were able
to challenge him to walk away from a
life of evil that he’d been really
committed to now I could tell you only
one of those stories but I’m not going
to not today not here anyway
you see I actually have a working theory
about heroes and I’m hoping you might be
able to prove it later I think that when
we look at heroes who are ordinary
people doing extraordinary things I
think they’re amazing and they’re
fantastic aren’t they we love to hear
these stories but I’m not sure that me
sharing
mind today would actually make any other
impact the new having a little bit of
interest in the story and going home and
no longer connecting with that because
it might seem out of the realms for you
there’s a lot of amazing people that we
can aspire to be in our world today
Martin Luther King stood up for his
fellow afro-americans mother Teresa
dedicated her entire life to serving the
poor of Calcutta then we have the
historical biblical figure of Jesus who
gave the ultimate sacrifice of his life
to save the world and each one of these
characters does motivate people to great
actions okay we know that in fact
there’s a lot there’s a whole raft of
social researchers and psychologists who
will tell you that when we focus on
people like this it does create change
in our environment this a woman called
professor yang of the University of
Southern California and she’s come up
with a phrase that says it’s plausible
that by focusing on ordinary people
doing extraordinary things that we could
actually have enough empathy with them
they would motivate us to concrete moral
action that’s a lot of big words isn’t
it or kind of a messy sentence anyway in
other words if we focus on these people
will be better people but here’s the
thing I actually see an alternative view
to this depiction of us being motivated
and connecting with ordinary people
doing extraordinary things in fact I’ve
been doing my own anecdotal research
just in the Aldi’s queue and with my
friends and family and even the lady
Di’s my eyelashes yeah that’s true and
I’ve been asking them are you motivated
does it impact you when you connect with
someone who’s an ordinary person who’s
done something extraordinary and the
answer I’ve got is a resounding no and
when I say why they say because I look
at people like Martin Luther King and I
think I can’t be this person I look at
mother trees or no I can’t be that
person and so instead of connecting with
them and being motivated to action a lot
a number of people feel defeated and
actually create in action has anyone
read this book a few people have I
haven’t read this book and in fact I’m
not going to in fact I don’t even like
the title it says don’t sweat the small
stuff
and it’s all about small stuff I’m gonna
rename that book sweat the small stuff
and it’s all about small stuff because
everyday life is full of the minut isn’t
it the tiny little things they are the
things we focus on so I actually today
want to reinvent heroes
I want to reinvent heroes as ordinary
people doing ordinary things even in
ordinary situations and I’m going to
call these my small stuff heroes and
you’re wondering so what is a small
stuff here if they’re not doing anything
magical in and impacting lives I’m gonna
tell you okay
a small stuff hero has a heart for
people now we all have hearts for people
I’m sure but generally there are
limitations to how big a heart is going
to be we tend to only care and have
genuine sympathy and empathy with people
who we connect with people we align with
maybe people who have the same politics
or religion or gender or race as we do
people were related to we have this
little circle but a small stuff hero
embraces people outside this circle they
genuinely care and have sympathy and
empathy and want the best for people who
aren’t in this circle who perhaps are
the unlovable of the world or maybe are
even people who dislike the small stuff
hero their own enemies a small stuff
hero has an ear for people now we’ve all
got ears well hopefully we have and
hopefully they all work and we can hear
but have you ever been in a situation
with a friend and you want to share
something with them maybe some great
news or some sad news and you start to
tell your story and you get to the end
of the story and then the person just
ignores everything you said and starts
to say something about themselves if you
had that experience it’s really
disappointing isn’t it I think sometimes
I’m guilty of that myself a small stuff
hero not only hears they listen and they
actively listen they hear what people
are saying they listen to it and they
reflect back to it in a way that makes
that person feel that they’ve connected
with them a small stuff here respects
people now hopefully we all respect a
whole bunch of people but a small stuff
for hero is very active in their respect
for people they look around them and
they see people that amaya people who do
things that they feel are positive and
they actually let that person know that
they spend their day looking for ways to
compliment other
people not just people they know
remember but the people outside of their
group as well they spend their day
letting people know I appreciate the job
you did there I’m gonna send an email to
that person and let them know I really
value what they brought to that
discussion today little tiny things all
day long
the last ones my favorite what is the
small stuff here I do a small stuff hero
overcomes evil with good this is
actually a verse from the Bible and I
love it because when we go back to our
fictitious characters this is exactly
what they’re doing they’re overcoming
evil with good we’ve got the bad guys
and we’ve got the good guys isn’t that
the story in every single kind of movie
that we’re watching nowadays okay but
the small stuff hero goes a lot further
with overcoming evil with good the small
stuff hero is somebody who’s humble
somebody who when wrong is done to them
okay will always offer forgiveness even
if that person doesn’t ask for
forgiveness a small stuff hero will be
humble enough to say I’m sorry when they
know they stuffed up and not a week
later either a small stuff hero when
someone shouts of them or is terse with
them doesn’t reply with the same but
they share a kind word to defuse the
situation a small stuff hero when
they’re driving to work and they get cut
off at the roundabout they don’t put
their fist up they smile and wave and
realize that we’ve all done that at some
point I certainly have this is my idea
of a small stuff here and I want to tell
you about three small stuff heroes
growing up with my four children and
they’re all very close in age we had on
our dining table a jar of questions it
lasted about two years and a tee time at
the end when everyone had finished
someone would pull out a question and we
go around the table answering it and
this night the question said who is the
most influential person in your life
in other words really the question is
who have you connected with in such a
way that you want to be like that person
or they’ve motivated you to be like them
and I think we’re rounded got to my ten
year old son and you could expect maybe
a sports hero or maybe a teacher and he
said after a little bit of thought aunty
Betty now you don’t know who auntie
Betty is she’s not even his auntie okay
but here she is in the picture this
lovely little old lady he used to come
help out on our church kids club every
week she did the juice and the biscuits
and just generally milled around with
the kids she wasn’t an upfront
person that she loved those kids and
they knew it she got down on her knees
and she spoke to them
she remembered week by week oh how did
you soccer match go last week she had
genuine care and compassion and those
kids knew it and they loved her to bits
she was the most popular person in our
kids Tunde he was so motivated by her
small stuff heroism but he wanted to
actually emulate that and mirror some of
the ways that she treated him – I was
actually a small stuff here and myself
once in Aldie skin gotta love all these
kids all sorts of things happen to me
now these kids I had just had a really
exhausting day at work I was emotionally
and physically drained desperate to get
home and put my feet up read a book and
have a hot cocoa and I’m in the queue
and I’m the next person fantastic when I
noticed the guy behind me it’s got less
items than me not that much I mean I had
about 20 he had ten so I wrestled or not
with him of course and in the end you
know good got the better of me and I
turned around and I said would you like
to go first
and he’s thank you and he went in front
of me and I thought that would be the
end of it and then he turned around to
face me and I saw he was tearing up he
actually had tears coming down his face
this grand man
and he leaned in close to me and he said
this has been the very worst day of my
life and that small act of kindness has
given me hope to carry on I’ll never
know what lay beneath those tears I’ve
never seen him since but I know that
somehow I was a small stuff hero that
day – that man here’s a small stuff hero
closer to home for me this is my husband
the fact that we’ve been together for 30
years qualifies him well enough to be a
small stuff hero that’s for sure but he
is so much more a hero to me
when my youngest of the four went to
school we discussed what I would do what
I go back to work as a cycle nurse what
would happen and I really felt a call on
my life to go into ministry and I talked
about it with my husband and he said
yeah go for it you know what for 14
years I worked in a voluntary capacity
full-time while he was the only
breadwinner with four children and a
mortgage and there were times when we
didn’t have enough money and we
struggled to pay bills but he never
complained
and they never challenged they always
supported me every minute of the day
some news into our marriage I got very
sick and actually took a few years out
of life with treatment and I couldn’t do
a lot of everyday stuff and he never
once complained and he never once got
mad that he had to cook and clean and
put the washing out and fix the kids he
supported me every moment of the way
he’s the introvert to my extrovert which
means that he often has to accept that
at the dinner table there will be many
people maybe sometimes 50 people
seriously I love parties and you know I
know that he would much rather be in the
shed stroking his Jaguar and that’s cars
not cats okay for those of you who don’t
know him and yet he accepts that and he
never complains and allows me to do all
these things
he’s the small stuff here in my life
he’s a rock to me and he helps me be the
person that I am today
so you see I’m wondering with all of
this if you can help me with my research
thinking that ordinary people doing
ordinary things in ordinary situations
are small stuff heroes that we can
really connect with and that will really
motivate us to be small stuff heroes too
so I’m going to ask you three questions
and I want you to put your hands up if
any of this is true of you please put
your hand up if you’ve ever connected
with a superhero in a way that’s meant
that you’ve been so motivated that you
have been able to become a superhero
yourself okay would have been
interesting if someone put the hand up
okay what about number two what about
these ordinary people doing
extraordinary things seriously have you
ever connected with an ordinary person
doing something extraordinary in such a
way that it’s actually motivated you to
be an ordinary person doing something
extraordinary that may have happened to
some of you has that happened yeah we’ve
got a couple of hands up here three four
five hands up here see truth is most of
us are really ordinary I’m looking at
you you look pretty ordinary I’m telling
you okay I mean you know no word of a
lie here so what I want to do now is put
your hands up if you’ve ever connected
with a small stuff hero you’ve been on
the receiving end of some small
heroic act and it’s motivated you to be
a small staff hero to someone else is
that true of any of you here well thank
goodness for that okay
so you you’ve ratified my thoughts here
the ordinary people doing ordinary
things in ordinary situations every day
intentionally is really what this is all
about so my challenge to you today is be
a small staff hero thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
you
[Applause]
you
please raise your hand if you recognize
this sound okay don’t say who okay it’s
a few you can recognize the sound let me
put it in context for the rest of you
[Music]
[Music]
okay
so a lot more of you recognize who that
is now this is of course Steve Austin
the bionic man the six million dollar
man the man of my childhood dreams okay
every Saturday morning for half an hour
I got to immerse myself in the heroic
world of Steve Austin though looking
back the acting is somewhat ham and the
heroin so irritating I’m surprised he
rescued her at all but however there’s
nothing that you can’t like about Steve
Austin today I want to explore the
impact of connecting with our heroes and
so on that basis I’m going to give you
five seconds I’d like you to turn to
somebody next to you and tell them which
childhood superhero was the one that you
connected with you’ve got five seconds
here’s the thing though about those
characters we’re seeing a resurgence
aren’t we of Marvel heroes and I’m
really thrilled about that not just
because they make great movies to go and
watch but because I actually think that
the world needs more heroes the trouble
is with these fictitious heroes we look
at their supernatural powers and
although we may aspire or dream to be
like them it’s utterly impossible and so
we’re not really motivated to their
actions because of course we can’t
emulate them at all heroes are often
defined by ordinary people doing
extraordinary things
a man called Gerard Way depicted that in
1977 and that’s often the case and the
great thing about ordinary people doing
extraordinary things is that when we
look at them we can be motivated we can
connect with them because the things
that they achieve are in the possibility
for us to so I’d like you in the next
five seconds to tell the person next to
you which ordinary hero you connect with
maybe somebody famous maybe a neighbor
so just tell somebody next to you the
name of someone an ordinary person who’s
done something extraordinary
that you connect with you know ordinary
heroes are really amazing
aren’t they and obviously this is a TED
talk and you’re probably thinking oh
he’s just about to share some really
epic stories something in my life that I
could share with you that would inspire
you excite you and motivate you to do
life better well I could you see I was
once on an airplane where I saved
somebody’s life my husband and I
traveled last you to a communist country
where we distributed vast amounts of
medicines there was even an occasion at
our dinner table when we invited a
convicted murderer round and were able
to challenge him to walk away from a
life of evil that he’d been really
committed to now I could tell you only
one of those stories but I’m not going
to not today not here anyway
you see I actually have a working theory
about heroes and I’m hoping you might be
able to prove it later I think that when
we look at heroes who are ordinary
people doing extraordinary things I
think they’re amazing and they’re
fantastic aren’t they we love to hear
these stories but I’m not sure that me
sharing
mind today would actually make any other
impact the new having a little bit of
interest in the story and going home and
no longer connecting with that because
it might seem out of the realms for you
there’s a lot of amazing people that we
can aspire to be in our world today
Martin Luther King stood up for his
fellow afro-americans mother Teresa
dedicated her entire life to serving the
poor of Calcutta then we have the
historical biblical figure of Jesus who
gave the ultimate sacrifice of his life
to save the world and each one of these
characters does motivate people to great
actions okay we know that in fact
there’s a lot there’s a whole raft of
social researchers and psychologists who
will tell you that when we focus on
people like this it does create change
in our environment this a woman called
professor yang of the University of
Southern California and she’s come up
with a phrase that says it’s plausible
that by focusing on ordinary people
doing extraordinary things that we could
actually have enough empathy with them
they would motivate us to concrete moral
action that’s a lot of big words isn’t
it or kind of a messy sentence anyway in
other words if we focus on these people
will be better people but here’s the
thing I actually see an alternative view
to this depiction of us being motivated
and connecting with ordinary people
doing extraordinary things in fact I’ve
been doing my own anecdotal research
just in the Aldi’s queue and with my
friends and family and even the lady
Di’s my eyelashes yeah that’s true and
I’ve been asking them are you motivated
does it impact you when you connect with
someone who’s an ordinary person who’s
done something extraordinary and the
answer I’ve got is a resounding no and
when I say why they say because I look
at people like Martin Luther King and I
think I can’t be this person I look at
mother trees or no I can’t be that
person and so instead of connecting with
them and being motivated to action a lot
a number of people feel defeated and
actually create in action has anyone
read this book a few people have I
haven’t read this book and in fact I’m
not going to in fact I don’t even like
the title it says don’t sweat the small
stuff
and it’s all about small stuff I’m gonna
rename that book sweat the small stuff
and it’s all about small stuff because
everyday life is full of the minut isn’t
it the tiny little things they are the
things we focus on so I actually today
want to reinvent heroes
I want to reinvent heroes as ordinary
people doing ordinary things even in
ordinary situations and I’m going to
call these my small stuff heroes and
you’re wondering so what is a small
stuff here if they’re not doing anything
magical in and impacting lives I’m gonna
tell you okay
a small stuff hero has a heart for
people now we all have hearts for people
I’m sure but generally there are
limitations to how big a heart is going
to be we tend to only care and have
genuine sympathy and empathy with people
who we connect with people we align with
maybe people who have the same politics
or religion or gender or race as we do
people were related to we have this
little circle but a small stuff hero
embraces people outside this circle they
genuinely care and have sympathy and
empathy and want the best for people who
aren’t in this circle who perhaps are
the unlovable of the world or maybe are
even people who dislike the small stuff
hero their own enemies a small stuff
hero has an ear for people now we’ve all
got ears well hopefully we have and
hopefully they all work and we can hear
but have you ever been in a situation
with a friend and you want to share
something with them maybe some great
news or some sad news and you start to
tell your story and you get to the end
of the story and then the person just
ignores everything you said and starts
to say something about themselves if you
had that experience it’s really
disappointing isn’t it I think sometimes
I’m guilty of that myself a small stuff
hero not only hears they listen and they
actively listen they hear what people
are saying they listen to it and they
reflect back to it in a way that makes
that person feel that they’ve connected
with them a small stuff here respects
people now hopefully we all respect a
whole bunch of people but a small stuff
for hero is very active in their respect
for people they look around them and
they see people that amaya people who do
things that they feel are positive and
they actually let that person know that
they spend their day looking for ways to
compliment other
people not just people they know
remember but the people outside of their
group as well they spend their day
letting people know I appreciate the job
you did there I’m gonna send an email to
that person and let them know I really
value what they brought to that
discussion today little tiny things all
day long
the last ones my favorite what is the
small stuff here I do a small stuff hero
overcomes evil with good this is
actually a verse from the Bible and I
love it because when we go back to our
fictitious characters this is exactly
what they’re doing they’re overcoming
evil with good we’ve got the bad guys
and we’ve got the good guys isn’t that
the story in every single kind of movie
that we’re watching nowadays okay but
the small stuff hero goes a lot further
with overcoming evil with good the small
stuff hero is somebody who’s humble
somebody who when wrong is done to them
okay will always offer forgiveness even
if that person doesn’t ask for
forgiveness a small stuff hero will be
humble enough to say I’m sorry when they
know they stuffed up and not a week
later either a small stuff hero when
someone shouts of them or is terse with
them doesn’t reply with the same but
they share a kind word to defuse the
situation a small stuff hero when
they’re driving to work and they get cut
off at the roundabout they don’t put
their fist up they smile and wave and
realize that we’ve all done that at some
point I certainly have this is my idea
of a small stuff here and I want to tell
you about three small stuff heroes
growing up with my four children and
they’re all very close in age we had on
our dining table a jar of questions it
lasted about two years and a tee time at
the end when everyone had finished
someone would pull out a question and we
go around the table answering it and
this night the question said who is the
most influential person in your life
in other words really the question is
who have you connected with in such a
way that you want to be like that person
or they’ve motivated you to be like them
and I think we’re rounded got to my ten
year old son and you could expect maybe
a sports hero or maybe a teacher and he
said after a little bit of thought aunty
Betty now you don’t know who auntie
Betty is she’s not even his auntie okay
but here she is in the picture this
lovely little old lady he used to come
help out on our church kids club every
week she did the juice and the biscuits
and just generally milled around with
the kids she wasn’t an upfront
person that she loved those kids and
they knew it she got down on her knees
and she spoke to them
she remembered week by week oh how did
you soccer match go last week she had
genuine care and compassion and those
kids knew it and they loved her to bits
she was the most popular person in our
kids Tunde he was so motivated by her
small stuff heroism but he wanted to
actually emulate that and mirror some of
the ways that she treated him – I was
actually a small stuff here and myself
once in Aldie skin gotta love all these
kids all sorts of things happen to me
now these kids I had just had a really
exhausting day at work I was emotionally
and physically drained desperate to get
home and put my feet up read a book and
have a hot cocoa and I’m in the queue
and I’m the next person fantastic when I
noticed the guy behind me it’s got less
items than me not that much I mean I had
about 20 he had ten so I wrestled or not
with him of course and in the end you
know good got the better of me and I
turned around and I said would you like
to go first
and he’s thank you and he went in front
of me and I thought that would be the
end of it and then he turned around to
face me and I saw he was tearing up he
actually had tears coming down his face
this grand man
and he leaned in close to me and he said
this has been the very worst day of my
life and that small act of kindness has
given me hope to carry on I’ll never
know what lay beneath those tears I’ve
never seen him since but I know that
somehow I was a small stuff hero that
day – that man here’s a small stuff hero
closer to home for me this is my husband
the fact that we’ve been together for 30
years qualifies him well enough to be a
small stuff hero that’s for sure but he
is so much more a hero to me
when my youngest of the four went to
school we discussed what I would do what
I go back to work as a cycle nurse what
would happen and I really felt a call on
my life to go into ministry and I talked
about it with my husband and he said
yeah go for it you know what for 14
years I worked in a voluntary capacity
full-time while he was the only
breadwinner with four children and a
mortgage and there were times when we
didn’t have enough money and we
struggled to pay bills but he never
complained
and they never challenged they always
supported me every minute of the day
some news into our marriage I got very
sick and actually took a few years out
of life with treatment and I couldn’t do
a lot of everyday stuff and he never
once complained and he never once got
mad that he had to cook and clean and
put the washing out and fix the kids he
supported me every moment of the way
he’s the introvert to my extrovert which
means that he often has to accept that
at the dinner table there will be many
people maybe sometimes 50 people
seriously I love parties and you know I
know that he would much rather be in the
shed stroking his Jaguar and that’s cars
not cats okay for those of you who don’t
know him and yet he accepts that and he
never complains and allows me to do all
these things
he’s the small stuff here in my life
he’s a rock to me and he helps me be the
person that I am today
so you see I’m wondering with all of
this if you can help me with my research
thinking that ordinary people doing
ordinary things in ordinary situations
are small stuff heroes that we can
really connect with and that will really
motivate us to be small stuff heroes too
so I’m going to ask you three questions
and I want you to put your hands up if
any of this is true of you please put
your hand up if you’ve ever connected
with a superhero in a way that’s meant
that you’ve been so motivated that you
have been able to become a superhero
yourself okay would have been
interesting if someone put the hand up
okay what about number two what about
these ordinary people doing
extraordinary things seriously have you
ever connected with an ordinary person
doing something extraordinary in such a
way that it’s actually motivated you to
be an ordinary person doing something
extraordinary that may have happened to
some of you has that happened yeah we’ve
got a couple of hands up here three four
five hands up here see truth is most of
us are really ordinary I’m looking at
you you look pretty ordinary I’m telling
you okay I mean you know no word of a
lie here so what I want to do now is put
your hands up if you’ve ever connected
with a small stuff hero you’ve been on
the receiving end of some small
heroic act and it’s motivated you to be
a small staff hero to someone else is
that true of any of you here well thank
goodness for that okay
so you you’ve ratified my thoughts here
the ordinary people doing ordinary
things in ordinary situations every day
intentionally is really what this is all
about so my challenge to you today is be
a small staff hero thank you
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
you
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