[Music]
when I was 15
a male middle school teacher mr. richer
pate raped me I knew them for a year
before he attacked me we met when I was
a waiter at a restaurant looking back on
that year I used to find it odd that his
likes and dislikes began the closely
paralleled mine until I realized years
later that he was slowly grooming me to
earn his trust of course I was in shock
at the bond act that just took place I
stay within my shell I refused the
missions to anyone because that is what
our culture taught me to do well one
here’s a sexual assault they assume the
victim is a female most Americans still
believe that rape is a crime
specifically against a woman
our testosterone-driven society cannot
fathom that a man can be the victim of
rape discussing sexual assaults in
molestation makes people feel
uncomfortable it should it is a violent
unspeakable act that causes people
females and males alike undo physical
and mental trauma every 100 seconds an
American is sexually assaulted a child
every eight minutes according to one
instance an organization who specializes
in helping male victims one in six men
have been sexually assaulted or molested
and that is based on those who have
reported I am that one at six we have
built a society around various myths
involved in the molestation of young men
by male pedophiles so much so that is
ingrained into the male psyche since
birth especially in this age of fear and
then thatha’s now cast for all we are
taught is the accepted norm we teach our
sons that there will never be a real man
because they could not protect
themselves the question of sexual
orientation or worse than the day – may
become a pedophile these fantasies
couple of todays while chisme culture
plays fair to pick those mind that could
cause lifelong social and
the problems instead of running the
truth they wander through life feeling
confused humiliated horrid and angry
they believe that no one will understand
the pain that they suffer so they Danish
League muddled up their emotions they
turn a temporary escape methods to door
the world around them such as drug use
alcohol abuse or violence against
themselves and others a few days after
my attack
I received an apology letter in the mail
from mr. Cady although it did not
mention things specific one could easily
conclude that something inappropriate
happened between a minor and an adult I
read it once and promptly toss it to the
garbage a few hours later my mother
pushed me this letter after fighting on
top of the trash rightfully concerned
she inquired if he had touched me in any
way be it 15 stubborn embarrassed and
ashamed in other words an American
teenager I denied that he laid his hands
on me little did I know that it’s one
letter will play such a vital role in my
life many years down the road and as it
always does life went on I continued to
fight the demons within as I silently
waged war against a building depression
I joined the army after high school in
the military during the late 1990s it
was a stigma to seek help at behavior
health it was perceived as a sign of
weakness and a possible career killer I
became very proficient I keep in my
personal and professional life separate
for a very long time multiple
appointments can be busy enough not to
let my mind wander I was able to move up
the ranks and into positions of a crease
responsibilities without anyone learning
my dark secret in January of 2010 I
could no longer keep up the facade I do
not know if those a sight a sound or
smell but something trigger my mind in
such a way to cause me to have a nervous
breakdown while driving it was hard for
me to catch my breath as my mind
continued to race I finally realized
keep this to myself I needed help
my first day is we have a health patient
was exceptional I told my story for the
very first time in complete detail to a
small group of fellow patients basically
a room full of strangers my accounts
were possessed ‘you can eke a skill of
helping two people to open up and use
force wastes of powers only if I’ll fail
I have never spells such a relief as I
did that day when my store is finally
out there I was finally able to walk
upright for the first time in over
seventy years the heavy burden of hiding
my shameful past finally fell away a
couple months later I research the
statute of limitations for statutory
rape in my home state of North Carolina
there were none I called my home tell us
the police department even though it was
a long shot to report my attack the
detectives asked if we could meet for a
couple days to work out the details I
submitted a written statement and show
it over mr. pate lived by the way not
only he had unlimited access to children
during his decades of teaching these
same kids walk past his house twice a
day during the school year honestly I
didn’t think anything will come of it
because all I had was my word against a
pillar of the communities but I was
happy to start the process the next week
I received some very good news
they arrested mr. Payne on charges of
statutory sexual offense and take
additionally videos with a minor he was
sitting in the Mobile County Jail under
captain million-dollars secured behind
there in the investigation the
detectives interviewed the formal school
superintendent and found on the human
tracing facts my mother I went to the
school board with this letter Becky
broken and as I stated before although
that I meant anything specific it was
clear there was an interpreter
between a teacher and a child the school
board game without commentary quietly
which he did he died in 2013 even though
I shun her during the weakest home of my
life my father this brave woman never
gave up hope once does the rest of a
public I hope that others will speak out
against mr. paid the odds are slim that
after years of teaching I was always
shot he assaulted or molested no one
else came forward now victims need to
know that they’re professionals out
there who are trained to help in these
situations and facilitation support
groups for survivors just like them we
no longer have to hide in fear as a
society Americans can no longer at least
stay on the sidelines of the yummy Boyz
II Men I sexually harassed a molested
not only by adults but by the Roma
here’s the teammates and it disguises of
locker room crates fraternity
initiations and military hayseeds we
must have the personal urge to normally
accept excuses though this is the way
it’s always been done boys will be boys
or they knew without getting themselves
into more times it not it has nothing to
do
orientation this is about one’s will
over another it is about power I’m sure
you’ve heard a fight-or-flight innocence
a bottle mechanism that all animals so
including humans use to supply the sense
of traumatic situation it gives us over
there is also a little third response
freeze for example the Deardon
headlights the brain realizes there is
no hope of surviving a situation and I
supported with the day mr. Paine
savagely raped me
I froze I had no hope
it took me over 17 years to finally gain
the courage stand up against him after
haunting me for so long
was finally I have found hope
I no longer need to attend behavior
health I know I’m gonna take on
antidepressants
to get me through the day speaking to
groups just like this is my therapy I am
stronger now because I stood up not only
for myself but for so many others to
take a predator off the street they can
no longer safely assault my water that
can all go molest my daughter and that
can no longer harass one of your family
members there will be the way you did no
such as supporting one of organizations
like what is six melzar paradata or or
your local rape crisis center you will
probably never see a regular but you
will witness behaviors and attitudes
that promote a rape culture such as
victim blaming joking or not taking
allegation seriously we must maintain
situational awareness of our actions and
be aware of our language those words
have immense power they can easily make
a person feel less than human this is
our society we dictate what is right and
what is wrong it is our responsibility
to speak out against these action to
take away the power from those who wish
to do harm to others this isn’t about
men’s rights
this isn’t about women’s rights this is
about the rights of everyone to not have
a little fear a sexual harassment
so my story’s anomaly it has a happy
ending
it sounds cliched but if I can get one
person in this room a sliver of home and
intern courage then I’ve done my job to
set them on the path from victim to
survivor hope for a better tomorrow hope
for those with experience my pain to
find their own inner stream Oh Brad 106
[Applause]
when I was 15
a male middle school teacher mr. richer
pate raped me I knew them for a year
before he attacked me we met when I was
a waiter at a restaurant looking back on
that year I used to find it odd that his
likes and dislikes began the closely
paralleled mine until I realized years
later that he was slowly grooming me to
earn his trust of course I was in shock
at the bond act that just took place I
stay within my shell I refused the
missions to anyone because that is what
our culture taught me to do well one
here’s a sexual assault they assume the
victim is a female most Americans still
believe that rape is a crime
specifically against a woman
our testosterone-driven society cannot
fathom that a man can be the victim of
rape discussing sexual assaults in
molestation makes people feel
uncomfortable it should it is a violent
unspeakable act that causes people
females and males alike undo physical
and mental trauma every 100 seconds an
American is sexually assaulted a child
every eight minutes according to one
instance an organization who specializes
in helping male victims one in six men
have been sexually assaulted or molested
and that is based on those who have
reported I am that one at six we have
built a society around various myths
involved in the molestation of young men
by male pedophiles so much so that is
ingrained into the male psyche since
birth especially in this age of fear and
then thatha’s now cast for all we are
taught is the accepted norm we teach our
sons that there will never be a real man
because they could not protect
themselves the question of sexual
orientation or worse than the day – may
become a pedophile these fantasies
couple of todays while chisme culture
plays fair to pick those mind that could
cause lifelong social and
the problems instead of running the
truth they wander through life feeling
confused humiliated horrid and angry
they believe that no one will understand
the pain that they suffer so they Danish
League muddled up their emotions they
turn a temporary escape methods to door
the world around them such as drug use
alcohol abuse or violence against
themselves and others a few days after
my attack
I received an apology letter in the mail
from mr. Cady although it did not
mention things specific one could easily
conclude that something inappropriate
happened between a minor and an adult I
read it once and promptly toss it to the
garbage a few hours later my mother
pushed me this letter after fighting on
top of the trash rightfully concerned
she inquired if he had touched me in any
way be it 15 stubborn embarrassed and
ashamed in other words an American
teenager I denied that he laid his hands
on me little did I know that it’s one
letter will play such a vital role in my
life many years down the road and as it
always does life went on I continued to
fight the demons within as I silently
waged war against a building depression
I joined the army after high school in
the military during the late 1990s it
was a stigma to seek help at behavior
health it was perceived as a sign of
weakness and a possible career killer I
became very proficient I keep in my
personal and professional life separate
for a very long time multiple
appointments can be busy enough not to
let my mind wander I was able to move up
the ranks and into positions of a crease
responsibilities without anyone learning
my dark secret in January of 2010 I
could no longer keep up the facade I do
not know if those a sight a sound or
smell but something trigger my mind in
such a way to cause me to have a nervous
breakdown while driving it was hard for
me to catch my breath as my mind
continued to race I finally realized
keep this to myself I needed help
my first day is we have a health patient
was exceptional I told my story for the
very first time in complete detail to a
small group of fellow patients basically
a room full of strangers my accounts
were possessed ‘you can eke a skill of
helping two people to open up and use
force wastes of powers only if I’ll fail
I have never spells such a relief as I
did that day when my store is finally
out there I was finally able to walk
upright for the first time in over
seventy years the heavy burden of hiding
my shameful past finally fell away a
couple months later I research the
statute of limitations for statutory
rape in my home state of North Carolina
there were none I called my home tell us
the police department even though it was
a long shot to report my attack the
detectives asked if we could meet for a
couple days to work out the details I
submitted a written statement and show
it over mr. pate lived by the way not
only he had unlimited access to children
during his decades of teaching these
same kids walk past his house twice a
day during the school year honestly I
didn’t think anything will come of it
because all I had was my word against a
pillar of the communities but I was
happy to start the process the next week
I received some very good news
they arrested mr. Payne on charges of
statutory sexual offense and take
additionally videos with a minor he was
sitting in the Mobile County Jail under
captain million-dollars secured behind
there in the investigation the
detectives interviewed the formal school
superintendent and found on the human
tracing facts my mother I went to the
school board with this letter Becky
broken and as I stated before although
that I meant anything specific it was
clear there was an interpreter
between a teacher and a child the school
board game without commentary quietly
which he did he died in 2013 even though
I shun her during the weakest home of my
life my father this brave woman never
gave up hope once does the rest of a
public I hope that others will speak out
against mr. paid the odds are slim that
after years of teaching I was always
shot he assaulted or molested no one
else came forward now victims need to
know that they’re professionals out
there who are trained to help in these
situations and facilitation support
groups for survivors just like them we
no longer have to hide in fear as a
society Americans can no longer at least
stay on the sidelines of the yummy Boyz
II Men I sexually harassed a molested
not only by adults but by the Roma
here’s the teammates and it disguises of
locker room crates fraternity
initiations and military hayseeds we
must have the personal urge to normally
accept excuses though this is the way
it’s always been done boys will be boys
or they knew without getting themselves
into more times it not it has nothing to
do
orientation this is about one’s will
over another it is about power I’m sure
you’ve heard a fight-or-flight innocence
a bottle mechanism that all animals so
including humans use to supply the sense
of traumatic situation it gives us over
there is also a little third response
freeze for example the Deardon
headlights the brain realizes there is
no hope of surviving a situation and I
supported with the day mr. Paine
savagely raped me
I froze I had no hope
it took me over 17 years to finally gain
the courage stand up against him after
haunting me for so long
was finally I have found hope
I no longer need to attend behavior
health I know I’m gonna take on
antidepressants
to get me through the day speaking to
groups just like this is my therapy I am
stronger now because I stood up not only
for myself but for so many others to
take a predator off the street they can
no longer safely assault my water that
can all go molest my daughter and that
can no longer harass one of your family
members there will be the way you did no
such as supporting one of organizations
like what is six melzar paradata or or
your local rape crisis center you will
probably never see a regular but you
will witness behaviors and attitudes
that promote a rape culture such as
victim blaming joking or not taking
allegation seriously we must maintain
situational awareness of our actions and
be aware of our language those words
have immense power they can easily make
a person feel less than human this is
our society we dictate what is right and
what is wrong it is our responsibility
to speak out against these action to
take away the power from those who wish
to do harm to others this isn’t about
men’s rights
this isn’t about women’s rights this is
about the rights of everyone to not have
a little fear a sexual harassment
so my story’s anomaly it has a happy
ending
it sounds cliched but if I can get one
person in this room a sliver of home and
intern courage then I’ve done my job to
set them on the path from victim to
survivor hope for a better tomorrow hope
for those with experience my pain to
find their own inner stream Oh Brad 106
[Applause]
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