one two three four five six seven within
seven seconds of me walking on this
stage you made some assumptions about me
you can laugh you did and it’s okay we
all make assumptions it’s human nature
it’s not wrong what is wrong though is
when we don’t take the time to check out
our assumptions and we believe
everything we think that can be
destructive it can lead to mistrust poor
communication and damaged relationships
later I’m going to share with you how
you can dispel those assumptions with
the concept here in the jar but for now
allow me to be vulnerable and share a
defining moment in my life
a story that taught me most about the
assumptions I was making in leadership
about other people the assumptions I was
making and myself you see the basketball
had bounced for the very last time that
season the crowd dispersed in the
scoreboard red 56 232 it was the
season-ending loss for the Lady Knights
and that was the first year my very
first year of coaching high school girls
basketball and I have to tell you as my
childhood dream my one and only
childhood dream to coach girls
basketball and here I was at 26 with
this amazing opportunity it didn’t feel
so amazing we had only won three games
all season long three games in I was
distraught I was frustrated so I thought
I’m gonna call the one person in my life
that I know is going to support me that
one person that’s gonna validate my
frustration I picked up the phone and I
called my daddy
I said dad I don’t think I’m cut out for
this I don’t think I can do it the girls
aren’t listening the offensive
principals are not sticking the
defensive concepts it’s like they don’t
understand and I don’t think they like
to compete who doesn’t like to compete
do you know we won three games all
season long three games that’s it dad
one two three three that’s it do you
know how long of a season it is to have
only won three games
he’s still silent now you have to know
one thing about my dad he is a tough
Italian man very direct and when he
loves you he loves you hard and when he
yells well he yells loud but when he’s
silent when he is silent you know you’re
gonna get it so let me get this straight
Alison you only want a coach when you
win if you think you were put on this
earth and in these young women’s lives
to just win basketball games well I
didn’t do my job
as a parent you see my sweet daughter
you were placed in these young women’s
lives to teach them how to be confident
you were placed in these young women’s
lives to teach them to overcome
adversity you were placed in these young
women’s lives to show them what teamwork
looks like and to show them how to set
up goals and exceed their own
expectations and if you happen to win
more than you lose that’s just icing on
the cake baby I called for support
didn’t get that I called for him to
validate my venting and my frustration
that it was pointed in the right
direction
at the players not me well I didn’t get
that oh no I didn’t get that at all I
got something much more you see that day
my dad gave me a gift and it didn’t feel
like a gift at the time certainly not it
didn’t come with a package and a nice
bow it was a gift nonetheless he gave me
the gift of humility you see I was the
problem
I was the issue how I was measuring
success in leading my girls was not
serving then it was serving me that next
year I went in and I said hey listen up
we are going to love care and respect
one another and if we don’t win a game
all season long I don’t care you see
that next year I was intentional about
making each team member feel like an
essential piece regardless of how many
points or rebounds they had that next
year I was intentional about giving
praise and acknowledgement and filling
people up often thanking them for their
hard work you see that year I sought to
understand by asking good questions
versus always be understood that next
year that second year of coaching they
went out and won a conference
championship three years later we played
in the state championship game you see
my dad didn’t know it at the time but he
was teaching me my first lesson in
servant leadership he was teaching me
that in that very moment I had a choice
he helped inspired me to choose to
create the next best version of myself
you see that’s what servant leaders do
they inspire you to create the next best
version of yourself our parents our
coaches our workforce our family our
friends our neighbors deserve a better
brand of leadership a Dale Carnegie
study shows us that 75% of people leave
an organization not because of the work
that they do it’s because of their boss
a Gallup research shows us that 87% of
workers worldwide worldwide sort their
job as more of a frustration than that
of fulfillment and 60% of our lives is
spent working or preparing to work we
are craving a better brand of leadership
and it starts with you and it starts
with me but it’s not easy no no it
certainly is not easy and we need each
other’s help and support so we need to
be intentional about our practice and
these seven concepts you know it’s quite
amazing how a simple jar can change the
way you serve and lead there just seven
concepts they are common sense but they
are not commonly practiced and I will
tell you that these seven concepts have
changed the way I work live play parent
and ultimately love so let’s start with
the top of the jar the cork sometimes is
servant leaders let’s be honest we just
need to put a cork in it we do right
come on sometimes we need to just stop
and pause you see the pause is so
powerful when we pause we can then
respond to one another
versus just react when we pause we can
listen to what’s not being said leading
to deeper trust with one another the
next concept is the puzzle piece and I’m
not talking about what you’ve normally
heard like the essential piece like oh
make sure everybody feels like an
essential piece of the puzzle that’s
hard to do you can’t make someone feel
that way but you know what servant
leaders do they provide the conditions
in a workplace for people to come and be
exactly who they were meant to be
servant leaders believe that when they
allow their people the permission to be
exactly who they were meant to be and
they bring their warts their wounds
their
skaars they will also bring their
creativity their passion and their
beauty marks resulting in a deeper level
of confidence the next one praise and
acknowledgement so servant leaders
understand that we all walk around with
an invisible bucket and based off of our
interactions we are there filling each
other up or we are taking from one
another servant leaders are intentional
about filling people up and they do it
they do it often and they’re specific
and they’re genuine with their praise
the CEO of Campbell Soup rolled over
30,000 praise and acknowledgement
letters to his team when he was serving
as CEO 30,000 and he was specific he
didn’t just say all thanks for your hard
work thanks for your many years of
service oh no it was specific like he
knew the people he said hey I am so
appreciative your discipline and your
positivity those strengths that you
possess they really shine through in
that project you just did and I’m sure
you spend some late nights at work and
we’re away from your husband Jeff and
your two beautiful daughters Lilly and
Ava let them know I appreciate that and
send them my best true true appreciation
the assumptions in the the latter okay
so the latter of assumption is a pretty
broad concept so I’m going to do my best
this is the concept I shared with you at
the beginning of the 7 seconds and the
assumptions that we make and how to
check those assumptions by flipping the
coin and asking great questions so
here’s the thing we all have this pool
of data ok it’s our own experiences it’s
it’s how we were raised it was an
education that we had right maybe where
we lived all of those experiences really
correspond with how I’m going to assume
things of you of myself and everyone for
that matter so I’m going to give you a
quick snapshot of my pool of data to try
to explain this concept to you a little
bit better so my given name is Allie
star or Alice
star says Navarre I was Bart star you
have to know that I’m Packer fan big
time big time Thank You koa skansen so I
was raised in the Chicago area my
parents got divorced at five I was
raised by my brother and my father I
love sports growing up in fact loved
them so much Tyra sieved a scholarship
to play college basketball
I received a my major was in radio TV
film a master’s in educational
leadership I work for the NBA
NBC n-c-double-a and I went on to be a
personal trainer an elementary school
principal and now I work at a credit
union I have two beautiful babies
Vincent is six we call him Vinny and PJ
Penelope Joanna is three that is my
quick snapshot pool of data and what’s
happening is you are selecting meaning
that’s important to you okay so you’re
selecting meaning maybe some of you
selected the piece about my parents
getting divorced maybe there’s some sort
of connection so you’re trying to fill
in the blanks and make assumptions about
that maybe you’re selecting the piece
about oh gosh that’s interesting why did
her dad and her brother raise her has
her mother passed she’s still around and
some of you are probably sitting there
thinking – she’s pretty short I can’t
believe she played college basketball –
sorry and so as servant leaders what
happens is is we fill these gaps in and
it’s not wrong people it is not wrong
it’s human nature what’s wrong is to
believe everything we assume that’s why
we need to flip the coin seek to
understand one another versus just be
understood now a true story my team
member Brooke and I were on our way back
from an organization doing this exact
training and we’re driving back and all
of a sudden someone cuts us off boom I’m
slammed on the brakes cuts over three
lanes of traffic cuts three other people
off and gets on the highway well
my Italian heritage yeah there was a lot
of colorful expletives going and you’re
making assumptions right now what were
those colorful expletives that we’re
about to come out of my mouth I
um and there they were colorful huh and
so what happened is they got to about
here and then I remembered the ladder
and I looked at her and I said I’m not
going up the ladder broke I’m going to
choose to assume that that person would
have never put our lives in danger or
anybody else’s for that matter if it
weren’t for an emergency that they were
going to took a deep breath positive
vibes we continued on our way that’s the
power of checking your assumptions
asking good questions to seek to
understand the goalposts so good leaders
give effective goalposts effective
communication to produce great results
ok that’s servant leaders take it a
whole step further servant leaders know
the power of empowerment they want you
to be creative they don’t want you to do
the job the way they want you to do the
job because I said right they want your
creativity your unique talents and they
want to empower you to develop the
project in your own creative way that’s
empowerment they understand how
important that is in last and final
concept great servant leaders are
transparent and they allow for a safe
environment for others to be transparent
with them they don’t get defensive or if
they do they hide it really well
see transparency is powerful servant
leaders ask how can I get better how can
I serve you better they invite feedback
in and they’re also not afraid to be
confidently vulnerable so there it is
the seven concepts again basic right
there common sense but they’re not
commonly practiced Bill Hybels one of my
favorite mentors says everyone wins when
a leader gets better everyone wins when
the leader gets better
and so you’ve got some decisions to make
today how are you going to live out
these seven concepts are you going to
fill people up with specific and genuine
praise are you going to be authentic and
transparent with your communication are
you going to ask great questions and
seek to understand and then pause to
hear the response or are you going to
step back and say Ally I don’t serve
anybody in my organization this isn’t
for me I want you to step forward and
I’m going to challenge you to think
about it like this you my friends lead
the most important person in this world
yourself one two three four five six
seven
thank you
[Applause]
seven seconds of me walking on this
stage you made some assumptions about me
you can laugh you did and it’s okay we
all make assumptions it’s human nature
it’s not wrong what is wrong though is
when we don’t take the time to check out
our assumptions and we believe
everything we think that can be
destructive it can lead to mistrust poor
communication and damaged relationships
later I’m going to share with you how
you can dispel those assumptions with
the concept here in the jar but for now
allow me to be vulnerable and share a
defining moment in my life
a story that taught me most about the
assumptions I was making in leadership
about other people the assumptions I was
making and myself you see the basketball
had bounced for the very last time that
season the crowd dispersed in the
scoreboard red 56 232 it was the
season-ending loss for the Lady Knights
and that was the first year my very
first year of coaching high school girls
basketball and I have to tell you as my
childhood dream my one and only
childhood dream to coach girls
basketball and here I was at 26 with
this amazing opportunity it didn’t feel
so amazing we had only won three games
all season long three games in I was
distraught I was frustrated so I thought
I’m gonna call the one person in my life
that I know is going to support me that
one person that’s gonna validate my
frustration I picked up the phone and I
called my daddy
I said dad I don’t think I’m cut out for
this I don’t think I can do it the girls
aren’t listening the offensive
principals are not sticking the
defensive concepts it’s like they don’t
understand and I don’t think they like
to compete who doesn’t like to compete
do you know we won three games all
season long three games that’s it dad
one two three three that’s it do you
know how long of a season it is to have
only won three games
he’s still silent now you have to know
one thing about my dad he is a tough
Italian man very direct and when he
loves you he loves you hard and when he
yells well he yells loud but when he’s
silent when he is silent you know you’re
gonna get it so let me get this straight
Alison you only want a coach when you
win if you think you were put on this
earth and in these young women’s lives
to just win basketball games well I
didn’t do my job
as a parent you see my sweet daughter
you were placed in these young women’s
lives to teach them how to be confident
you were placed in these young women’s
lives to teach them to overcome
adversity you were placed in these young
women’s lives to show them what teamwork
looks like and to show them how to set
up goals and exceed their own
expectations and if you happen to win
more than you lose that’s just icing on
the cake baby I called for support
didn’t get that I called for him to
validate my venting and my frustration
that it was pointed in the right
direction
at the players not me well I didn’t get
that oh no I didn’t get that at all I
got something much more you see that day
my dad gave me a gift and it didn’t feel
like a gift at the time certainly not it
didn’t come with a package and a nice
bow it was a gift nonetheless he gave me
the gift of humility you see I was the
problem
I was the issue how I was measuring
success in leading my girls was not
serving then it was serving me that next
year I went in and I said hey listen up
we are going to love care and respect
one another and if we don’t win a game
all season long I don’t care you see
that next year I was intentional about
making each team member feel like an
essential piece regardless of how many
points or rebounds they had that next
year I was intentional about giving
praise and acknowledgement and filling
people up often thanking them for their
hard work you see that year I sought to
understand by asking good questions
versus always be understood that next
year that second year of coaching they
went out and won a conference
championship three years later we played
in the state championship game you see
my dad didn’t know it at the time but he
was teaching me my first lesson in
servant leadership he was teaching me
that in that very moment I had a choice
he helped inspired me to choose to
create the next best version of myself
you see that’s what servant leaders do
they inspire you to create the next best
version of yourself our parents our
coaches our workforce our family our
friends our neighbors deserve a better
brand of leadership a Dale Carnegie
study shows us that 75% of people leave
an organization not because of the work
that they do it’s because of their boss
a Gallup research shows us that 87% of
workers worldwide worldwide sort their
job as more of a frustration than that
of fulfillment and 60% of our lives is
spent working or preparing to work we
are craving a better brand of leadership
and it starts with you and it starts
with me but it’s not easy no no it
certainly is not easy and we need each
other’s help and support so we need to
be intentional about our practice and
these seven concepts you know it’s quite
amazing how a simple jar can change the
way you serve and lead there just seven
concepts they are common sense but they
are not commonly practiced and I will
tell you that these seven concepts have
changed the way I work live play parent
and ultimately love so let’s start with
the top of the jar the cork sometimes is
servant leaders let’s be honest we just
need to put a cork in it we do right
come on sometimes we need to just stop
and pause you see the pause is so
powerful when we pause we can then
respond to one another
versus just react when we pause we can
listen to what’s not being said leading
to deeper trust with one another the
next concept is the puzzle piece and I’m
not talking about what you’ve normally
heard like the essential piece like oh
make sure everybody feels like an
essential piece of the puzzle that’s
hard to do you can’t make someone feel
that way but you know what servant
leaders do they provide the conditions
in a workplace for people to come and be
exactly who they were meant to be
servant leaders believe that when they
allow their people the permission to be
exactly who they were meant to be and
they bring their warts their wounds
their
skaars they will also bring their
creativity their passion and their
beauty marks resulting in a deeper level
of confidence the next one praise and
acknowledgement so servant leaders
understand that we all walk around with
an invisible bucket and based off of our
interactions we are there filling each
other up or we are taking from one
another servant leaders are intentional
about filling people up and they do it
they do it often and they’re specific
and they’re genuine with their praise
the CEO of Campbell Soup rolled over
30,000 praise and acknowledgement
letters to his team when he was serving
as CEO 30,000 and he was specific he
didn’t just say all thanks for your hard
work thanks for your many years of
service oh no it was specific like he
knew the people he said hey I am so
appreciative your discipline and your
positivity those strengths that you
possess they really shine through in
that project you just did and I’m sure
you spend some late nights at work and
we’re away from your husband Jeff and
your two beautiful daughters Lilly and
Ava let them know I appreciate that and
send them my best true true appreciation
the assumptions in the the latter okay
so the latter of assumption is a pretty
broad concept so I’m going to do my best
this is the concept I shared with you at
the beginning of the 7 seconds and the
assumptions that we make and how to
check those assumptions by flipping the
coin and asking great questions so
here’s the thing we all have this pool
of data ok it’s our own experiences it’s
it’s how we were raised it was an
education that we had right maybe where
we lived all of those experiences really
correspond with how I’m going to assume
things of you of myself and everyone for
that matter so I’m going to give you a
quick snapshot of my pool of data to try
to explain this concept to you a little
bit better so my given name is Allie
star or Alice
star says Navarre I was Bart star you
have to know that I’m Packer fan big
time big time Thank You koa skansen so I
was raised in the Chicago area my
parents got divorced at five I was
raised by my brother and my father I
love sports growing up in fact loved
them so much Tyra sieved a scholarship
to play college basketball
I received a my major was in radio TV
film a master’s in educational
leadership I work for the NBA
NBC n-c-double-a and I went on to be a
personal trainer an elementary school
principal and now I work at a credit
union I have two beautiful babies
Vincent is six we call him Vinny and PJ
Penelope Joanna is three that is my
quick snapshot pool of data and what’s
happening is you are selecting meaning
that’s important to you okay so you’re
selecting meaning maybe some of you
selected the piece about my parents
getting divorced maybe there’s some sort
of connection so you’re trying to fill
in the blanks and make assumptions about
that maybe you’re selecting the piece
about oh gosh that’s interesting why did
her dad and her brother raise her has
her mother passed she’s still around and
some of you are probably sitting there
thinking – she’s pretty short I can’t
believe she played college basketball –
sorry and so as servant leaders what
happens is is we fill these gaps in and
it’s not wrong people it is not wrong
it’s human nature what’s wrong is to
believe everything we assume that’s why
we need to flip the coin seek to
understand one another versus just be
understood now a true story my team
member Brooke and I were on our way back
from an organization doing this exact
training and we’re driving back and all
of a sudden someone cuts us off boom I’m
slammed on the brakes cuts over three
lanes of traffic cuts three other people
off and gets on the highway well
my Italian heritage yeah there was a lot
of colorful expletives going and you’re
making assumptions right now what were
those colorful expletives that we’re
about to come out of my mouth I
um and there they were colorful huh and
so what happened is they got to about
here and then I remembered the ladder
and I looked at her and I said I’m not
going up the ladder broke I’m going to
choose to assume that that person would
have never put our lives in danger or
anybody else’s for that matter if it
weren’t for an emergency that they were
going to took a deep breath positive
vibes we continued on our way that’s the
power of checking your assumptions
asking good questions to seek to
understand the goalposts so good leaders
give effective goalposts effective
communication to produce great results
ok that’s servant leaders take it a
whole step further servant leaders know
the power of empowerment they want you
to be creative they don’t want you to do
the job the way they want you to do the
job because I said right they want your
creativity your unique talents and they
want to empower you to develop the
project in your own creative way that’s
empowerment they understand how
important that is in last and final
concept great servant leaders are
transparent and they allow for a safe
environment for others to be transparent
with them they don’t get defensive or if
they do they hide it really well
see transparency is powerful servant
leaders ask how can I get better how can
I serve you better they invite feedback
in and they’re also not afraid to be
confidently vulnerable so there it is
the seven concepts again basic right
there common sense but they’re not
commonly practiced Bill Hybels one of my
favorite mentors says everyone wins when
a leader gets better everyone wins when
the leader gets better
and so you’ve got some decisions to make
today how are you going to live out
these seven concepts are you going to
fill people up with specific and genuine
praise are you going to be authentic and
transparent with your communication are
you going to ask great questions and
seek to understand and then pause to
hear the response or are you going to
step back and say Ally I don’t serve
anybody in my organization this isn’t
for me I want you to step forward and
I’m going to challenge you to think
about it like this you my friends lead
the most important person in this world
yourself one two three four five six
seven
thank you
[Applause]
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