know do you know someone who is
beautiful what makes them beautiful
here’s the real question have you ever
every morning I get dressed I do my hair
I put on makeup I do all I can to
achieve optimum beauty my optimum Beauty
but no matter how hard I try I never
actually feel beautiful and no matter
what image I present on the outside
inside
I actually feel ugly and my truth is I’m
afraid that you will discover just how
ugly I really am see I’m a mother who
was arrested in my own driveway feet
away from my children’s bedroom window
when my story doesn’t begin there I was
born with a large precancerous birthmark
that covered my entire back that mark
was a sentence or so the doctors
explained because for me to live all the
skin on my back had to be removed so at
the ages of 4 and 6 years old I
underwent very invasive surgery where
every layer of skin that was marked was
cut away and what remained of my torso
was used as skin grafts after my
surgeries 40% of my body was without
skin see I I know nakedness
I had no clothes on as I laid in
hospital hospital bed for weeks as I
healed but I nakedness beyond nudity one
that I feel only known to me
because I know a nakedness without the
cover of my own skin and the pain was
terrible my screams would echo down the
hallways especially when I saw the
nurses with their sponges and clean
sheets but that pain subsided and
something else took its place see my
wounds healed replaced by scars a small
child now almost half my body severely
scarred the terror of bathing suits
among friends no sundresses or spaghetti
straps for me this very very kind woman
in our church would sew bathing suits
for me or swimsuits and that would cover
the deep scars that enveloped my body
that gave me some relief from my shame
but she was my new pain but cover I did
and I got good at it using my hair
clothes makeup to disguise what really
was but living so afraid that my friends
colleagues even strangers would discover
that they would somehow see my scars and
they would learn just how ugly I really
am and I was arrested I saw that
deputy’s car sitting out front my
sister’s house as I was leaving I had
had a few glasses of wine but I lived in
the same neighborhood as her just two
residential streets away I was 37 years
old and never even had a traffic ticket
or a parking citation to that matter so
I got in my car and drove home without
incident or so I thought
see I was being followed and that same
deputy came racing down my streets
lights flashing just as I was pulling
into my driveway I was arrested and then
sentenced to 20 days in the Pima County
Jail
Tucson Arizona I was strip-searched
every day sometimes twice a day every
ugly and terrible scar I worked so hard
to hide now exposed to unkind eyes they
mocked me and ridiculed me as I stood
there naked exposed shivering
see I was stripped not just of my
clothes but of my truth and my lies I
couldn’t be that fictitious person I
wanted everyone to believe I was I
couldn’t hide I laid in that bunk bed
among 90 other inmates feeling hopeless
ashamed humiliated and sorry for myself
and it was in that moment I cried out to
God and said God I can’t do this anymore
I can’t carry this shame help me
immediately this great warmth filled my
brokenness and these two words whispered
to my heart
scarred beautiful how I asked in my
scars and this DUI be anything but ugly
yet scarred beautiful gave me a choice
I could be forever sentence ashamed of
every scar or take this opportunity to
learn and grow and change yes I was
still very much in jail alone and
sentenced and there will not be a day
that I don’t regret my decision to get
behind that wheel for the heartache that
I caused my family and the risk I was to
other safety but I could take this
moment and transform this from a mark of
my fall to the moment I rose again but
what about my physical scars that’s a
picture of my back taken at age 36 just
a year before I was arrest
it how can I find beauty in that yet
through God’s eyes my scars are
beautiful because the very disease that
intended to destroy me didn’t and my
scars are a testament of my strength and
resilience to survive that scar my scars
are the reason I’m alive today and that
is beautiful it’s time for all of us to
begin to recognize where true beauty
lies our scars and our stories have
beauty for the lessons learned the
wisdom earned and the ability to rise
again doctor Dan McAdams of Northwestern
University did a 10-year study on two
types of people those that live a
vigorous abundant productive life and
those that don’t and he found one common
threat in those that lived a productive
happy life in spite of whatever
tragedies they might have been doing and
he called that common thread a
redemptive story hear that word
redemptive how beautiful is that word
see we each hold the ability to change
the narrative to change the outcome of
our tragedies of our scars it’s in our
hands
I had labeled myself scarred for 37
years but I’m no longer just scarred
I am scarred beautiful that is my
redemptive story and that redemptive
story changed everything for me
what is your scar you have won some we
wear on our bodies some we carry in our
hearts some are moments we were victims
I want you to do this I want you to give
that scar a label and I want you to
write it down I’m not asking you to
write down your whole story just give
that scar that moment a pain a word a
name a date whatever it is just write it
down and underneath that I want you to
write one good thing that happened as a
result of that scar did you learn did
you grow did you find compassion because
you know what it feels like to need
compassion did the road you were taking
change because of that circumstance
which led you on a new road that brought
you to beauty are you a better mother a
better friend father because of that
scar maybe your scar is deep shame
because you did something that hurt
another deeply but how can you change
that scar that situation to a redemptive
story how can you turn that scar to
something beautiful and maybe your scar
is the loss of a loved one but your
beauty is in the hope that one day you
will embrace again it’s time for us to
give our scars the beauty that we’ve
earned I did it I left jail and I said
I’m going to leave this facade the
secrets I keep in that jail cell and I’m
going to emerge living breathing owning
my own skin
and I’m gonna reveal my scars but the
beauty they reveal about me so I did it
I shared my story it started with a book
and that something incredible happened
women from all over began to share their
scars their stories with me with others
stories of tragedy turned to triumph
beauty after the pain it started with
one woman scars now 34,000 strong men
and women who call themselves
scarred beautiful that is my story that
is our story but what is yours I want
you to do this I want you to raise your
hand if you have a scar whether it be
physical or one you wearing your heart
go ahead raise your hand thank you
your scars are beautiful not in your
beauty is not in spite but with and even
because of your scars because your story
is unique to you and you alone and that
moment was when your character was
tested yet your strength and your
resilience prevailed and that is
beautiful I am Andrea Castile Smith and
[Music] you