this is my grandma’s row but she sewed
it herself
I remember her always wearing this
cooking all day
nagging us to have a nosh or put sockies
on our feets eliezer showing us thick
warm jackets we wouldn’t catch a cold
but she was so much more than that when
I looked past grandma on the robe I
discovered Tana the woman and friends to
guide me through my own life Hannah was
a survivor of unspeakable trauma I
became a survivor of trauma – but I also
became a survivor of her memory all of
you here all of us here we’ve lost
people and we are survivors of that loss
but through tears and grief disguised as
a burden we can transform that loss into
an enduring living mission today I want
to explain how I did that there were
three surprises or three shocks that
inspired me to look deeper the first was
a surprise party I made for my grandma
when I was 13 we had a health project
and our assignment was to do a good deed
for someone else and write about the
impact so I thought of my grandma’s
famous saying you must celebrate when
the times are good as a kid I thought
that meant cookies cakes and parties and
so as a 13 year old I decided to throw a
surprise birthday party for my grandma I
called every relative I knew and every
neighbor on my block canister shell was
everyone’s grandma 20 friends and family
lined up around our kitchen table with a
feast waiting for my mom to bring my
grandma in the front door I couldn’t
wait to see the look on her face all
right everyone
one two happy birthday dude Anil I’m
sorry I I cannot I stood in really close
to her tiny brown eyes and I zoomed in
on a tear my friends I I feel bad that
my friends aren’t here to celebrate with
me they all died in the war and I asked
God why me why am I still alive we stood
there watching her cry that she didn’t
deserve this and so I started to wonder
who was Hannah snow chela before I was
born and who were all these friends that
made her feel like she didn’t deserve to
celebrate her birthday so I began trying
to relieve Hannah’s life I started by
asking those friends and family and I
gathered enough for her basic story my
grandmother at 18 years old was really
Hanish acne blonde brown eyed and living
in czechoslovakia here she is with most
of her family she had just married her
first love then she was taken to the
death camps of Auschwitz luckily she was
an excellent seamstress and she survived
because Nazis forced her to sew their
uniforms when the camps were finally
liberated a soldier told my grandma
you’re free and she didn’t know what
that meant
Hannah eventually found most of her
family and they mistook her for a ghost
not believing she had made it through
the Holocaust she had survived but found
out that her husband and oldest brother
had not Hannah and her remaining seven
siblings
yes another baby was born when the rest
of the family hid in the woods they came
to America on a boat and that trip left
her with a mysterious fear of water for
the rest of her life it was here in
America that she met Irving Stowe chell
and ex resistance worker from Poland and
now an immigrant tailor on Delancey
Street they fell in love married and
established a successful garment factory
as they were sewing for the biggest
celebrities and department stores of the
day created a family and were living the
American dream but not really there was
more trauma in stores my grandma always
longed for her first husband she was
molested by her dentist shortly after
the war she had terrible toxemia nearly
died giving birth and almost died from
an abortion and here she was an
immigrant people threw shoes at her
because she was different life in
America was not easy for my grandma yes
she was strong but she had her secrets
too
the more I learned about my grandma’s
story the more amazing that resolution
became to celebrate when the times are
good after so much suffering as one
relative told me she was a happy woman
when the memories didn’t get in her way
the second shock came as grandma helped
us prepare for our Passover Seder in
2005 I was 18 years old the same age as
my grandma when she was taken to the
concentration camps at this point I also
had some secrets like my grandma I had
been molested by someone in a position
of authority
and I now wanted to know more from
grandma herself I never got the
opportunity that night
our celebration surprised me with a
stomachache that sent me right up to my
room and then to the emergency room
where a blood clot had formed in the
main abdominal artery causing my
intestines to become gangrene and my
stomach to literally explode my
grandparents were sent home in a cab
this is a picture of that Passover night
it’s the last picture of my life before
that blood clot changed everything I
spent months in a coma and when I
finally woke up I wanted my Passover
back and my grandma’s comfort but the
third shock Greece like a finished
thread this would be the last picture
I’d ever have with my grandma because
while I was fighting for my own survival
close to death myself both my
grandparents had died when I finally
woke up they were gone along with months
of my life I wanted to know how I was to
survive the dozens of surgeries ahead
for me and years being unable to eat or
drink anything by mouth and I wondered
even more how my grandmother had
survived after her life had been so torn
apart could I as her granddaughter
do the same to answer these questions I
started a lengthy yet ultimately
life-changing process of still asking
more questions first I asked the people
around me family and friends mom said
grandma never liked talking about
past an uncle told me you just didn’t
ask that generation another told me
everyone knows that tiny bit of
something and a lot of bit of nothing
still I listen to each tiny unfinished
thread recorded everything and soon I
could weave together the story that I
shared with you second I researched
online I searched for dates records
Holocaust timelines life in Brooklyn for
immigrants after the war I watch
documentaries contacted libraries search
through archives for newspapers from
that time two of the many things I found
this is a record of Hannah’s us
residency and this is a record of the
transport to the death camp these kinds
of facts help jog the memory of those
who knew my grandma for example finding
the old address of a Brooklyn diner
where my mom grew up was what made her
remember the shoes being thrown at my
grandma finding more information on
grandma’s sewing business lets his
stories about what working in the
factory was like for her every hard fact
unraveled more of Hannah’s threads and
we’re slowly turning the fear of losing
my grandma into the joy of preserving
her story a third I embraced oral
history and sought out people outside my
circle and recorded their memories I
tracked down three generations of
relatives in seven different countries
Facebook helped me with that I conducted
hours of interviews and transcribed
hundreds of pages I dog for history and
came up with something even more
valuable memory I found my great uncle
Morris he
younger brother through Facebook and I
was told that he couldn’t tell me
anything all he does is play bridge in
Florida but I was patient and persistent
knowing that our bodies store things
that we might not think we remember so
at first all Morris told me was this hi
Amy
I don’t remember much just a delicious
lemon bars which still make me drool she
was a great Baker sower and I owe her
for my wonderful fashion tastes
she was the family’s right arm but the
more he started talking about her lemon
bars he started talking about my
grandma’s first husband and then
watching their older brother being taken
to the death camps after shouting take
me instead
to save the rest of his family he also
recalled how my grandma had risked her
own life every night in the holding
camps to sew extra fabric for her
younger sister in these untold stories I
found the strength that I had been
seeking all along and the lessons I
needed to learn from my grandma I kept
at it more sent me hours of voicemails
and I typed up 300 pages of stories from
the man who didn’t remember anything
Morris also told me Amy your grandmother
always loved me and made me feel
important she gave me the confidence
that I’ve always had
I knew that grandma had given me that
confidence too and I too could change my
darkness to light I learned what true
resilience was and and that it was a
part of me now
only to survive my trauma 28 surgeries
six years being unable to eat or drink
anything my mouth a divorce and most
recently broken legs and a car accident
but still to celebrate now when the
times are good
my grandmother picked up pieces of her
new world and she treated a life
tapestry much different than the one she
hoped to live but still very beautiful
these three steps talking to people
researching and recording oral memories
helped me recover my grandma and help
the survivors in my own family
find their own strength as they started
to remember their own stories eventually
Morris’s lemon bar anecdotes turned into
the greatest lesson I need to learn as a
survivor of Hannah’s memory Amy as long
as we carry our loved ones in our hearts
they’re truly never gone we may have
pictured it but we’ll never know the
real suffering your grandma enjoyed I
know you’ve been through your own
painful time but you’ve grown to be a
survivor telling your story to all who
will listen people need to know that
they’re never alone so cherish your
gifts to spread the news it is how
civilization survives and we all learn
from it it’s true there is so much to
learn from those we’ve lost and it’s not
too late this weight of grief had turned
into the gift of impact and I now carry
this whole tapestry of the legacy my
grandma left underneath her robe but
now what do I do with it I revolve
Hannah’s story and created documentary
theater in a play I called fibers
sharing every thread of her story so
audiences could take their own lessons
for my grandma’s story and the world
really needs these stories right now the
news is full of sudden tragedy and life
can be taken or changed in an instant
the parklands shooting the live cut
short at the pulse nightclub in Orlando
and we know that these deaths are part
of a wider larger tragedy of suffering
around the world some survivors of the
Holocaust and survivors of trauma they
tell their story so it won’t happen
again and if they can’t or won’t
maybe we can and should my grandmother
told my mother she would never teach her
daughter a skill that she needed to use
to survive sewing but I carry on this
skill in my own way to celebrate the
gift that her sewing gave her family
which I do through creating theater and
you two can carry the lessons that
you’ve lost from someone and make the
world a better place that’s your and
it’s our responsibility as survivors so
go ahead and think about someone you’ve
lost whose life you want to carry with
you learn their story tell their story
and together we can all move forward
reweaving loss into memory that carries
on and makes an impact thank you [Applause]
it herself
I remember her always wearing this
cooking all day
nagging us to have a nosh or put sockies
on our feets eliezer showing us thick
warm jackets we wouldn’t catch a cold
but she was so much more than that when
I looked past grandma on the robe I
discovered Tana the woman and friends to
guide me through my own life Hannah was
a survivor of unspeakable trauma I
became a survivor of trauma – but I also
became a survivor of her memory all of
you here all of us here we’ve lost
people and we are survivors of that loss
but through tears and grief disguised as
a burden we can transform that loss into
an enduring living mission today I want
to explain how I did that there were
three surprises or three shocks that
inspired me to look deeper the first was
a surprise party I made for my grandma
when I was 13 we had a health project
and our assignment was to do a good deed
for someone else and write about the
impact so I thought of my grandma’s
famous saying you must celebrate when
the times are good as a kid I thought
that meant cookies cakes and parties and
so as a 13 year old I decided to throw a
surprise birthday party for my grandma I
called every relative I knew and every
neighbor on my block canister shell was
everyone’s grandma 20 friends and family
lined up around our kitchen table with a
feast waiting for my mom to bring my
grandma in the front door I couldn’t
wait to see the look on her face all
right everyone
one two happy birthday dude Anil I’m
sorry I I cannot I stood in really close
to her tiny brown eyes and I zoomed in
on a tear my friends I I feel bad that
my friends aren’t here to celebrate with
me they all died in the war and I asked
God why me why am I still alive we stood
there watching her cry that she didn’t
deserve this and so I started to wonder
who was Hannah snow chela before I was
born and who were all these friends that
made her feel like she didn’t deserve to
celebrate her birthday so I began trying
to relieve Hannah’s life I started by
asking those friends and family and I
gathered enough for her basic story my
grandmother at 18 years old was really
Hanish acne blonde brown eyed and living
in czechoslovakia here she is with most
of her family she had just married her
first love then she was taken to the
death camps of Auschwitz luckily she was
an excellent seamstress and she survived
because Nazis forced her to sew their
uniforms when the camps were finally
liberated a soldier told my grandma
you’re free and she didn’t know what
that meant
Hannah eventually found most of her
family and they mistook her for a ghost
not believing she had made it through
the Holocaust she had survived but found
out that her husband and oldest brother
had not Hannah and her remaining seven
siblings
yes another baby was born when the rest
of the family hid in the woods they came
to America on a boat and that trip left
her with a mysterious fear of water for
the rest of her life it was here in
America that she met Irving Stowe chell
and ex resistance worker from Poland and
now an immigrant tailor on Delancey
Street they fell in love married and
established a successful garment factory
as they were sewing for the biggest
celebrities and department stores of the
day created a family and were living the
American dream but not really there was
more trauma in stores my grandma always
longed for her first husband she was
molested by her dentist shortly after
the war she had terrible toxemia nearly
died giving birth and almost died from
an abortion and here she was an
immigrant people threw shoes at her
because she was different life in
America was not easy for my grandma yes
she was strong but she had her secrets
too
the more I learned about my grandma’s
story the more amazing that resolution
became to celebrate when the times are
good after so much suffering as one
relative told me she was a happy woman
when the memories didn’t get in her way
the second shock came as grandma helped
us prepare for our Passover Seder in
2005 I was 18 years old the same age as
my grandma when she was taken to the
concentration camps at this point I also
had some secrets like my grandma I had
been molested by someone in a position
of authority
and I now wanted to know more from
grandma herself I never got the
opportunity that night
our celebration surprised me with a
stomachache that sent me right up to my
room and then to the emergency room
where a blood clot had formed in the
main abdominal artery causing my
intestines to become gangrene and my
stomach to literally explode my
grandparents were sent home in a cab
this is a picture of that Passover night
it’s the last picture of my life before
that blood clot changed everything I
spent months in a coma and when I
finally woke up I wanted my Passover
back and my grandma’s comfort but the
third shock Greece like a finished
thread this would be the last picture
I’d ever have with my grandma because
while I was fighting for my own survival
close to death myself both my
grandparents had died when I finally
woke up they were gone along with months
of my life I wanted to know how I was to
survive the dozens of surgeries ahead
for me and years being unable to eat or
drink anything by mouth and I wondered
even more how my grandmother had
survived after her life had been so torn
apart could I as her granddaughter
do the same to answer these questions I
started a lengthy yet ultimately
life-changing process of still asking
more questions first I asked the people
around me family and friends mom said
grandma never liked talking about
past an uncle told me you just didn’t
ask that generation another told me
everyone knows that tiny bit of
something and a lot of bit of nothing
still I listen to each tiny unfinished
thread recorded everything and soon I
could weave together the story that I
shared with you second I researched
online I searched for dates records
Holocaust timelines life in Brooklyn for
immigrants after the war I watch
documentaries contacted libraries search
through archives for newspapers from
that time two of the many things I found
this is a record of Hannah’s us
residency and this is a record of the
transport to the death camp these kinds
of facts help jog the memory of those
who knew my grandma for example finding
the old address of a Brooklyn diner
where my mom grew up was what made her
remember the shoes being thrown at my
grandma finding more information on
grandma’s sewing business lets his
stories about what working in the
factory was like for her every hard fact
unraveled more of Hannah’s threads and
we’re slowly turning the fear of losing
my grandma into the joy of preserving
her story a third I embraced oral
history and sought out people outside my
circle and recorded their memories I
tracked down three generations of
relatives in seven different countries
Facebook helped me with that I conducted
hours of interviews and transcribed
hundreds of pages I dog for history and
came up with something even more
valuable memory I found my great uncle
Morris he
younger brother through Facebook and I
was told that he couldn’t tell me
anything all he does is play bridge in
Florida but I was patient and persistent
knowing that our bodies store things
that we might not think we remember so
at first all Morris told me was this hi
Amy
I don’t remember much just a delicious
lemon bars which still make me drool she
was a great Baker sower and I owe her
for my wonderful fashion tastes
she was the family’s right arm but the
more he started talking about her lemon
bars he started talking about my
grandma’s first husband and then
watching their older brother being taken
to the death camps after shouting take
me instead
to save the rest of his family he also
recalled how my grandma had risked her
own life every night in the holding
camps to sew extra fabric for her
younger sister in these untold stories I
found the strength that I had been
seeking all along and the lessons I
needed to learn from my grandma I kept
at it more sent me hours of voicemails
and I typed up 300 pages of stories from
the man who didn’t remember anything
Morris also told me Amy your grandmother
always loved me and made me feel
important she gave me the confidence
that I’ve always had
I knew that grandma had given me that
confidence too and I too could change my
darkness to light I learned what true
resilience was and and that it was a
part of me now
only to survive my trauma 28 surgeries
six years being unable to eat or drink
anything my mouth a divorce and most
recently broken legs and a car accident
but still to celebrate now when the
times are good
my grandmother picked up pieces of her
new world and she treated a life
tapestry much different than the one she
hoped to live but still very beautiful
these three steps talking to people
researching and recording oral memories
helped me recover my grandma and help
the survivors in my own family
find their own strength as they started
to remember their own stories eventually
Morris’s lemon bar anecdotes turned into
the greatest lesson I need to learn as a
survivor of Hannah’s memory Amy as long
as we carry our loved ones in our hearts
they’re truly never gone we may have
pictured it but we’ll never know the
real suffering your grandma enjoyed I
know you’ve been through your own
painful time but you’ve grown to be a
survivor telling your story to all who
will listen people need to know that
they’re never alone so cherish your
gifts to spread the news it is how
civilization survives and we all learn
from it it’s true there is so much to
learn from those we’ve lost and it’s not
too late this weight of grief had turned
into the gift of impact and I now carry
this whole tapestry of the legacy my
grandma left underneath her robe but
now what do I do with it I revolve
Hannah’s story and created documentary
theater in a play I called fibers
sharing every thread of her story so
audiences could take their own lessons
for my grandma’s story and the world
really needs these stories right now the
news is full of sudden tragedy and life
can be taken or changed in an instant
the parklands shooting the live cut
short at the pulse nightclub in Orlando
and we know that these deaths are part
of a wider larger tragedy of suffering
around the world some survivors of the
Holocaust and survivors of trauma they
tell their story so it won’t happen
again and if they can’t or won’t
maybe we can and should my grandmother
told my mother she would never teach her
daughter a skill that she needed to use
to survive sewing but I carry on this
skill in my own way to celebrate the
gift that her sewing gave her family
which I do through creating theater and
you two can carry the lessons that
you’ve lost from someone and make the
world a better place that’s your and
it’s our responsibility as survivors so
go ahead and think about someone you’ve
lost whose life you want to carry with
you learn their story tell their story
and together we can all move forward
reweaving loss into memory that carries
on and makes an impact thank you [Applause]
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