all right why are we here today I think
is because we love ideas right I think
that’s our common bond and it’s not just
the ideas it’s what we can do with the
ideas whether we can develop ourselves
personally and perhaps it’s
professionally maybe we can change the
city or even the planet for years I was
the chief curator of TEDx Fort Wayne and
my most cherished memories were seeing
an idea take root in somebody seeing it
blossom and seeing it grow in 2012 we
did rethink Fort Wayne this year’s theme
is resurgence and that’s a fantastic
theme and I think there’s a common
connection between those themes is that
ideas are no longer static they keep
changing the pace of change is
accelerating and you don’t have to be
convinced of that it’s in your news
feeds every day I think change is the
only constant I think we need to rethink
normal I was five my normal was about to
change permanently I had learned to
color in the lines and my pre-k teacher
my mom had taught me this our house was
actually white not red and we had a
great big back yard complete with the
sandbox we lived in Ann Arbor Michigan
home of the University of Michigan which
is a very accepting community it’s very
inclusive it’s culturally diverse and is
a mini melting pot of some of the
smartest minds and this was our normal
this is my brother and I instead of for
my dad built behind our house I’m the
one next to the American flag my dad
William Marvin well he was from the
south and he was a charming and handsome
redneck from humble means my mom she was
from a wealthy neighborhood and she was
quite a catch she was passionate and
energetic and she apparently was not
drawn to the typical suitors they met
while working at a camp and they married
soon after why my mom was still in
college she was going to Taylor
University in upland Indiana it’s a
small private Christian college and my
dad had gone
to many colleges throughout Florida in
fact I heard one of the ways he put
himself through school was he would go
out on the fishing boats because he
loved to fish and guys would get drunk
well he would go fishing and then he’d
play poker with them and he would often
win and then he would sell them the fish
because while they were drunken they
didn’t want to go home empty-handed so
that’s how he started to put himself
through school but being married he
thought I got to rethink this thing I
got to maybe get a more stable and so
that’s eventually what took us to
Michigan the year was 1975 and something
drew me down the steps it was a loud
noise and so I kind of snuck down far
enough to see but not be seen and my mom
was yelling at my dad she was throwing a
pillow at him that was not normal
my dad had become involved with my mom’s
best friend she was deeply wounded I
don’t really remember a lot about the
next few months but before you knew it
we were in upland Indiana
we went from Ann Arbor Michigan a
vibrant colorful and progressive
University and we left this behind we
left my house my sandbox my fort my dad
and my normal we went to a small
Christian College in a conservative town
and my house became a small duplex we
didn’t have a sandbox and my dad wasn’t
there this was our new normal
my trajectory had changed
we had to adopt a new normal it was a
new lifestyle and it felt like we were
the only divorce kids in Upland in
Vienna we did not fit in
we were not normal this was a pivot
point it was a point imposed on me I
didn’t make this change and I’m sure
many of you have had hardships that are
similar and it’s not what we do with
those things it or it is what we do with
those hardships that defines us and
while some people may have pushed back
and railed against this I accepted their
normal but I didn’t fit in so I
developed a chip on my shoulder and I
and they didn’t have role models this
was not a good normal but was the choice
I had made I started kindergarten
shortly after we moved and my brother
was in third grade and he recently told
me that his teacher asked him who in the
class is divorced and he raised his hand
and he was the only one he thought I am
NOT normal now this is a great reminder
that we have really powerful words and
they have really strong impressions on
the kids around us we have to really
think about those things a new idea is
delicate it can be killed by a sneer or
a yawn it can be stabbed to death by
equip and worried to death by the frown
of the right man’s brow and while
Charles Brower was talking about ideas I
think this is why so many kids stopped
raising their hands as kindergartens on
the way to high school at five despite
our circumstances I had this crazy
optimism that I was creative and I was
gonna use every ounce of my creativity
to change the world I was thinking about
really big ideas like communism versus
capitalism and was the world created or
was there an explosion and what existed
before that I was rethinking things
taking things apart both literally and
mentally I wanted to understand the
world around me my theory is that when
we are young we actually grasped more
our uniqueness our calling yeah we may
have wanted to be firefighters in and
Olympians and garbage collectors and
maybe we’ve become none of those things
but in that there was a clue about our
uniqueness the thing that makes us
special our talents in our abilities the
thing that we’ve been given to make the
world a better place no one else on this
planet is like you your normal is
different than their normal rethinking
normal isn’t necessarily easier but it
is more rewarding more fulfilling for
those around us as well as ourselves now
rethinking normal may not get you the
three
garage in a slice of the American Dream
but it does get you incredible freedom
freedom from the pursuit of someone
else’s normal following the well-worn
path starts to seem ridiculous we travel
roads together but at a times were going
through the forest all by herself with
only our trusty compass speaking of
Olympians my son will he’s seven
after the Winter Olympics he told me he
wanted to be a gold medal bobsledder
after the Summer Olympics he wanted to
be you same bolt and he actually taped a
track down our hallway so he could start
to practice now I don’t know if he’s
gonna be an Olympian that’s for him to
decide I’m there to listen encourage and
challenge him will has an active
imagination and sometimes I like to ask
him what are you doing
and he says I’m imaginating and while
Webster doesn’t actually let that be a
definition I think it’s a great idea and
I’ve stolen and I use it off back to
Upland I was in middle school and my mom
bought me a 35-millimeter camera I went
to Taylor and I took some classes and I
became the first middle school
photographer and eventually in high
school I was in the journalism team in
high school
I wanted to be well-rounded I was afraid
to be myself I was in the marching bands
football wrestling I took Latin why well
because everybody takes Spanish I
started taking art classes I had always
doodled and drawed whorehouses and trees
and things and surfed and ski magazines
the high school art teacher thought I
was on to something and he suggested I
compete and so I did my mom took my
drawing to the professor at the Dean the
Dean of the professor at the art
department Taylor he thought maybe I was
an art major and so I became an art
major after a class or two I realized
this was not my normal these people were
really passionate about their craft I
attending classes but it didn’t really
show up and not showing up is a recipe
for disaster
not having worthwhile goal or worthwhile
purpose aimlessly drifting is dangerous
my freshman year I met a special girl
full of life and energy and she loved
horses and so did I I thought this is
destiny we quickly fell in love and
before you knew it we were headed off to
camp for the summer I went to Wilderness
camp and she went to a Western camp
there was one phone at wilderness camp
and I had a message the message said
it’s urgent it’s about family matters I
called and it was confirmed I was going
to be a dad at 20 that’s not normal
everyday I wrote to my girlfriend and I
begged her I pleaded I said we need to
get married and we visited it a couple
times that summer and at the end she
relented and we got married before we
meant back to school we found a new
normal
drifting was not going to work I needed
to get serious about rethinking my
normal the job market in upland Indiana
is not rich with opportunity so we moved
to Fort Wayne after my sophomore year
and I got a job and continued to go to
Taylor Fort Wayne I did not manage all
my hats very well and I missed some
critical details for instance I missed
an entire year of Spanish dangit for
taking a Latin they let me do my
commencement but inside of my diploma
was nothing and I let my job to find my
normal and I never finished it without a
degree I had to rethink normal I had to
become creative my marriage did not
survive but I was blessed with two
amazing boys and while I was growing up
in accepting ownership of my life I
still had a lot of rethinking to do
being a single dad I had more time to
think and read my mom had passed away
amidst all this and my dad had never
really been present so I needed role
models I knew I wanted to become a good
dad I wanted to be a present dad but I
didn’t know what it really looked like
what did it mean to be a good dad a good
big work
it became clear I had a lot of
rethinking to do and I found great
mentors in books conferences and
cassettes Dale Carnegie Napoleon Hill
John Maxwell Seth Godin Jim Collins I
became addicted to growth I became
addicted to rethinking normal I wanted
to own my own future I wanted become an
entrepreneur and I continued to seek out
mentors especially in leadership in
business I went on from rethinking
occasionally to rethinking daily I was
told Ben Franklin said consistency is a
sign of a weak mind and I’ve not been
able to find that quote but I think it
is a brilliant concept as new
information comes in of course we have
to change our opinions of course we have
to rethink normal and when we start to
change our futures when you start to own
it and start to rethink normal it makes
other people uncomfortable they may have
been perfectly content with their normal
and you’re messing with it we’re bound
to be misunderstood is it so bad then to
be misunderstood Pythagoras was
misunderstood and Socrates and Jesus and
Luther and Copernicus and Galileo and
Newton and every pure and wise spirit
that ever took flesh to be great is to
be misunderstood rethinking normal has
given me some amazing opportunities both
professionally as well as personally
professionally I was able to be on the
ground floor of people adopting the
internet I became the president of a
best-practice Network and I started to
help other businesses to rethink their
normal
it’s what exposed me to Ted and what led
me to apply for the license in TEDx in
2010 when we started people would say
who’s Ted TEDx is a major undertaking
and I want to thank Mark and the
volunteers for doing that
[Applause]
luckily I’d found a group of Mavericks
who were willing to bring this first
event to the city and each year we kept
rethinking and challenging normal TEDx
actually started to open doors for other
people we were seeing connections being
made in the community I was offered
board seats and new clients and it led
me to my dream job we discovered lots of
great speakers and lots of great
connections happen throughout the
community but in 2014
Ted was becoming my full-time job I
needed to rethink my normal I loved this
identity being the TEDx guy but it
wasn’t who I was I needed to keep
rethinking normal rethinking normal
normal led me to my beautiful bride
Sarah she’s the most amazing and
supportive person I could amass I could
ask for
together we are rethinking normal this
is my whole big tribe waveone Nick and
Preston and wave – we call him the
cookies in this shot Katherine will are
in their pajamas will burned hot like a
furnace so he hardly wears a shirt and
Lizzie she has her coat on over her PJ’s
because she’s helping her brothers load
up the van for the next leg of their
cross-country trip waveone Nick and
Preston are definitely rethinking normal
they live in San Diego and everyone says
it’s too expensive especially the
housing well Preston took that in
flipped it on its head he took his spare
room and his futon and turned it into an
income property and he continues to add
new properties in fact I was talking to
Preston the other day and he said dad
I’m retired
I said what you’re retired he says yeah
I retired he’s like I don’t have a job
but I get to travel all over the country
I’m retired I said well I guess you are
Sara and I been married 15 years she’s
my best friend she’s my rock
she’s lovingly supporting me and letting
me rethink normal and she often says
hand-in-hand let’s do this wave to is
rethinking normal as well you should sit
with us at the dinner table some night
it’s never boring Sara and I were
talking recently and she says I think I
know why our kids are so creative we
grew up watching TV but with them we
play and we wrestle and we read books
and we watch interesting videos so they
think about bigger concepts and we did
so I guess it allows them to imaginate
and rethink their normal so what’s next
well in January I left my job my dream
job
and I wanted to control my future I
wanted to be able to rethink my normal
and for a while I told Sara let’s just
sell it all and buy a boat and sail
around for a year and I came up with a
more tame version I said well let’s get
an Airstream by the way figuring out
what you want to take in your Airstream
or your boat is extremely clarifying as
to what’s important to you
what’s next who knows but I guarantee
I’ll be rethinking normal rethinking
normal is a daily practice it’s an
attitude of learning your practice will
be different from mine it should be
sight note that’s my wife Sara there
that’s Chris where’s Chris
and that’s Preston this is 2013 and they
were rethinking yoga at lunch
yoga’s become actually a part of my
daily practice I don’t do public yoga
but it’s the way I start my day it’s
part of my daily practice after yoga I
get quiet for five minutes I just sit in
silence some people call it meditation
or mindfulness but I’m just establishing
an uplink I’m looking for direction for
clarity next I send love and I seek to
understand though
people who bother me why because it lets
me let go of the past and strain towards
the future
I list 11 things that I’m grateful for
why 11 why not I spend time thinking
about Who I am
I clear out the mental junk because I am
worthy and so are you then I spend time
thinking about what I want and like an
athlete I’d like to visualize it I’d
like to see it with great detail that’s
the most predictable part of my day and
then throughout the day I want to keep
an attitude of learning an attitude of
learning is always thinking what can I
learn from this person I believe
everybody has something to teach us if
we’re curious and we’re looking read
watch listen get around smart people
like we are today and have great
conversations it’s never too late to
rethink normal to find a new normal you
are the architect of your normal you are
unique and you’re on a unique path and
if you keep rethinking normal you’re
going to live a more fulfilled
successful life and possibly change the world
is because we love ideas right I think
that’s our common bond and it’s not just
the ideas it’s what we can do with the
ideas whether we can develop ourselves
personally and perhaps it’s
professionally maybe we can change the
city or even the planet for years I was
the chief curator of TEDx Fort Wayne and
my most cherished memories were seeing
an idea take root in somebody seeing it
blossom and seeing it grow in 2012 we
did rethink Fort Wayne this year’s theme
is resurgence and that’s a fantastic
theme and I think there’s a common
connection between those themes is that
ideas are no longer static they keep
changing the pace of change is
accelerating and you don’t have to be
convinced of that it’s in your news
feeds every day I think change is the
only constant I think we need to rethink
normal I was five my normal was about to
change permanently I had learned to
color in the lines and my pre-k teacher
my mom had taught me this our house was
actually white not red and we had a
great big back yard complete with the
sandbox we lived in Ann Arbor Michigan
home of the University of Michigan which
is a very accepting community it’s very
inclusive it’s culturally diverse and is
a mini melting pot of some of the
smartest minds and this was our normal
this is my brother and I instead of for
my dad built behind our house I’m the
one next to the American flag my dad
William Marvin well he was from the
south and he was a charming and handsome
redneck from humble means my mom she was
from a wealthy neighborhood and she was
quite a catch she was passionate and
energetic and she apparently was not
drawn to the typical suitors they met
while working at a camp and they married
soon after why my mom was still in
college she was going to Taylor
University in upland Indiana it’s a
small private Christian college and my
dad had gone
to many colleges throughout Florida in
fact I heard one of the ways he put
himself through school was he would go
out on the fishing boats because he
loved to fish and guys would get drunk
well he would go fishing and then he’d
play poker with them and he would often
win and then he would sell them the fish
because while they were drunken they
didn’t want to go home empty-handed so
that’s how he started to put himself
through school but being married he
thought I got to rethink this thing I
got to maybe get a more stable and so
that’s eventually what took us to
Michigan the year was 1975 and something
drew me down the steps it was a loud
noise and so I kind of snuck down far
enough to see but not be seen and my mom
was yelling at my dad she was throwing a
pillow at him that was not normal
my dad had become involved with my mom’s
best friend she was deeply wounded I
don’t really remember a lot about the
next few months but before you knew it
we were in upland Indiana
we went from Ann Arbor Michigan a
vibrant colorful and progressive
University and we left this behind we
left my house my sandbox my fort my dad
and my normal we went to a small
Christian College in a conservative town
and my house became a small duplex we
didn’t have a sandbox and my dad wasn’t
there this was our new normal
my trajectory had changed
we had to adopt a new normal it was a
new lifestyle and it felt like we were
the only divorce kids in Upland in
Vienna we did not fit in
we were not normal this was a pivot
point it was a point imposed on me I
didn’t make this change and I’m sure
many of you have had hardships that are
similar and it’s not what we do with
those things it or it is what we do with
those hardships that defines us and
while some people may have pushed back
and railed against this I accepted their
normal but I didn’t fit in so I
developed a chip on my shoulder and I
and they didn’t have role models this
was not a good normal but was the choice
I had made I started kindergarten
shortly after we moved and my brother
was in third grade and he recently told
me that his teacher asked him who in the
class is divorced and he raised his hand
and he was the only one he thought I am
NOT normal now this is a great reminder
that we have really powerful words and
they have really strong impressions on
the kids around us we have to really
think about those things a new idea is
delicate it can be killed by a sneer or
a yawn it can be stabbed to death by
equip and worried to death by the frown
of the right man’s brow and while
Charles Brower was talking about ideas I
think this is why so many kids stopped
raising their hands as kindergartens on
the way to high school at five despite
our circumstances I had this crazy
optimism that I was creative and I was
gonna use every ounce of my creativity
to change the world I was thinking about
really big ideas like communism versus
capitalism and was the world created or
was there an explosion and what existed
before that I was rethinking things
taking things apart both literally and
mentally I wanted to understand the
world around me my theory is that when
we are young we actually grasped more
our uniqueness our calling yeah we may
have wanted to be firefighters in and
Olympians and garbage collectors and
maybe we’ve become none of those things
but in that there was a clue about our
uniqueness the thing that makes us
special our talents in our abilities the
thing that we’ve been given to make the
world a better place no one else on this
planet is like you your normal is
different than their normal rethinking
normal isn’t necessarily easier but it
is more rewarding more fulfilling for
those around us as well as ourselves now
rethinking normal may not get you the
three
garage in a slice of the American Dream
but it does get you incredible freedom
freedom from the pursuit of someone
else’s normal following the well-worn
path starts to seem ridiculous we travel
roads together but at a times were going
through the forest all by herself with
only our trusty compass speaking of
Olympians my son will he’s seven
after the Winter Olympics he told me he
wanted to be a gold medal bobsledder
after the Summer Olympics he wanted to
be you same bolt and he actually taped a
track down our hallway so he could start
to practice now I don’t know if he’s
gonna be an Olympian that’s for him to
decide I’m there to listen encourage and
challenge him will has an active
imagination and sometimes I like to ask
him what are you doing
and he says I’m imaginating and while
Webster doesn’t actually let that be a
definition I think it’s a great idea and
I’ve stolen and I use it off back to
Upland I was in middle school and my mom
bought me a 35-millimeter camera I went
to Taylor and I took some classes and I
became the first middle school
photographer and eventually in high
school I was in the journalism team in
high school
I wanted to be well-rounded I was afraid
to be myself I was in the marching bands
football wrestling I took Latin why well
because everybody takes Spanish I
started taking art classes I had always
doodled and drawed whorehouses and trees
and things and surfed and ski magazines
the high school art teacher thought I
was on to something and he suggested I
compete and so I did my mom took my
drawing to the professor at the Dean the
Dean of the professor at the art
department Taylor he thought maybe I was
an art major and so I became an art
major after a class or two I realized
this was not my normal these people were
really passionate about their craft I
attending classes but it didn’t really
show up and not showing up is a recipe
for disaster
not having worthwhile goal or worthwhile
purpose aimlessly drifting is dangerous
my freshman year I met a special girl
full of life and energy and she loved
horses and so did I I thought this is
destiny we quickly fell in love and
before you knew it we were headed off to
camp for the summer I went to Wilderness
camp and she went to a Western camp
there was one phone at wilderness camp
and I had a message the message said
it’s urgent it’s about family matters I
called and it was confirmed I was going
to be a dad at 20 that’s not normal
everyday I wrote to my girlfriend and I
begged her I pleaded I said we need to
get married and we visited it a couple
times that summer and at the end she
relented and we got married before we
meant back to school we found a new
normal
drifting was not going to work I needed
to get serious about rethinking my
normal the job market in upland Indiana
is not rich with opportunity so we moved
to Fort Wayne after my sophomore year
and I got a job and continued to go to
Taylor Fort Wayne I did not manage all
my hats very well and I missed some
critical details for instance I missed
an entire year of Spanish dangit for
taking a Latin they let me do my
commencement but inside of my diploma
was nothing and I let my job to find my
normal and I never finished it without a
degree I had to rethink normal I had to
become creative my marriage did not
survive but I was blessed with two
amazing boys and while I was growing up
in accepting ownership of my life I
still had a lot of rethinking to do
being a single dad I had more time to
think and read my mom had passed away
amidst all this and my dad had never
really been present so I needed role
models I knew I wanted to become a good
dad I wanted to be a present dad but I
didn’t know what it really looked like
what did it mean to be a good dad a good
big work
it became clear I had a lot of
rethinking to do and I found great
mentors in books conferences and
cassettes Dale Carnegie Napoleon Hill
John Maxwell Seth Godin Jim Collins I
became addicted to growth I became
addicted to rethinking normal I wanted
to own my own future I wanted become an
entrepreneur and I continued to seek out
mentors especially in leadership in
business I went on from rethinking
occasionally to rethinking daily I was
told Ben Franklin said consistency is a
sign of a weak mind and I’ve not been
able to find that quote but I think it
is a brilliant concept as new
information comes in of course we have
to change our opinions of course we have
to rethink normal and when we start to
change our futures when you start to own
it and start to rethink normal it makes
other people uncomfortable they may have
been perfectly content with their normal
and you’re messing with it we’re bound
to be misunderstood is it so bad then to
be misunderstood Pythagoras was
misunderstood and Socrates and Jesus and
Luther and Copernicus and Galileo and
Newton and every pure and wise spirit
that ever took flesh to be great is to
be misunderstood rethinking normal has
given me some amazing opportunities both
professionally as well as personally
professionally I was able to be on the
ground floor of people adopting the
internet I became the president of a
best-practice Network and I started to
help other businesses to rethink their
normal
it’s what exposed me to Ted and what led
me to apply for the license in TEDx in
2010 when we started people would say
who’s Ted TEDx is a major undertaking
and I want to thank Mark and the
volunteers for doing that
[Applause]
luckily I’d found a group of Mavericks
who were willing to bring this first
event to the city and each year we kept
rethinking and challenging normal TEDx
actually started to open doors for other
people we were seeing connections being
made in the community I was offered
board seats and new clients and it led
me to my dream job we discovered lots of
great speakers and lots of great
connections happen throughout the
community but in 2014
Ted was becoming my full-time job I
needed to rethink my normal I loved this
identity being the TEDx guy but it
wasn’t who I was I needed to keep
rethinking normal rethinking normal
normal led me to my beautiful bride
Sarah she’s the most amazing and
supportive person I could amass I could
ask for
together we are rethinking normal this
is my whole big tribe waveone Nick and
Preston and wave – we call him the
cookies in this shot Katherine will are
in their pajamas will burned hot like a
furnace so he hardly wears a shirt and
Lizzie she has her coat on over her PJ’s
because she’s helping her brothers load
up the van for the next leg of their
cross-country trip waveone Nick and
Preston are definitely rethinking normal
they live in San Diego and everyone says
it’s too expensive especially the
housing well Preston took that in
flipped it on its head he took his spare
room and his futon and turned it into an
income property and he continues to add
new properties in fact I was talking to
Preston the other day and he said dad
I’m retired
I said what you’re retired he says yeah
I retired he’s like I don’t have a job
but I get to travel all over the country
I’m retired I said well I guess you are
Sara and I been married 15 years she’s
my best friend she’s my rock
she’s lovingly supporting me and letting
me rethink normal and she often says
hand-in-hand let’s do this wave to is
rethinking normal as well you should sit
with us at the dinner table some night
it’s never boring Sara and I were
talking recently and she says I think I
know why our kids are so creative we
grew up watching TV but with them we
play and we wrestle and we read books
and we watch interesting videos so they
think about bigger concepts and we did
so I guess it allows them to imaginate
and rethink their normal so what’s next
well in January I left my job my dream
job
and I wanted to control my future I
wanted to be able to rethink my normal
and for a while I told Sara let’s just
sell it all and buy a boat and sail
around for a year and I came up with a
more tame version I said well let’s get
an Airstream by the way figuring out
what you want to take in your Airstream
or your boat is extremely clarifying as
to what’s important to you
what’s next who knows but I guarantee
I’ll be rethinking normal rethinking
normal is a daily practice it’s an
attitude of learning your practice will
be different from mine it should be
sight note that’s my wife Sara there
that’s Chris where’s Chris
and that’s Preston this is 2013 and they
were rethinking yoga at lunch
yoga’s become actually a part of my
daily practice I don’t do public yoga
but it’s the way I start my day it’s
part of my daily practice after yoga I
get quiet for five minutes I just sit in
silence some people call it meditation
or mindfulness but I’m just establishing
an uplink I’m looking for direction for
clarity next I send love and I seek to
understand though
people who bother me why because it lets
me let go of the past and strain towards
the future
I list 11 things that I’m grateful for
why 11 why not I spend time thinking
about Who I am
I clear out the mental junk because I am
worthy and so are you then I spend time
thinking about what I want and like an
athlete I’d like to visualize it I’d
like to see it with great detail that’s
the most predictable part of my day and
then throughout the day I want to keep
an attitude of learning an attitude of
learning is always thinking what can I
learn from this person I believe
everybody has something to teach us if
we’re curious and we’re looking read
watch listen get around smart people
like we are today and have great
conversations it’s never too late to
rethink normal to find a new normal you
are the architect of your normal you are
unique and you’re on a unique path and
if you keep rethinking normal you’re
going to live a more fulfilled
successful life and possibly change the world
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