thanks guys it’s my mic on ok it’s not
order to be here today so thank you for
allowing me to speak so my name is John
Kim I’m one of five thousand 623 John
Kim’s just on this campus alone my my
Korean name is Charlie but the teachers
can pronounce it so they call me Chucky
until the 4th grade until my parents
went to a Korean fortune-teller and they
came back with the name John and I was
like that’s such a generic name but
thank God they didn’t let a
nine-year-old name himself a potty mouth
nine-year-old name himself or Elsa I’d
be standing in front of you today is
like cannon man or maybe rad so what
does my name have to do with resiliency
so as I announced my Korean name there’s
a part of me my pseudo side my false
self that wants to rip out that chapter
that’s embarrassed of that name and I
have to fight that because I believe
that the road to ourselves is where true
resiliency lives so I tell people I’ve
lived two lives there’s the old John Kim
in the new John Kim and the Great Divide
came in the form of a divorce and so the
old John Kim pre divorce was struggling
screenwriter and I read I ran the scenic
nightclub in Hollywood and I was
obsessed with chasing shiny things my
idea of success was a three-picture deal
the Porsche Range Rover combo in the
horseshoe-shaped driveway the Glass
House in the hills and a beautiful wife
and I didn’t because I didn’t obtain
those things I didn’t allow myself to be
happy and so I spent a decade in coffee
shops trying to think of clever dialogue
and trying to sell the million dollar
screenplay but I was exchanging my truth
for membership to a club called success
and I was wasn’t on the guest list so I
was depressed and I was just like going
through life empty hollow like a leaf
and I was talking to my own therapist
and he said John if you can’t make
movies what do you want to do with your
life and I said if I can’t move people
by the masters I’ll do it one at a time
I want to do it you’re doing so my
mid-thirties I went back to school and I
became a therapist and that was the
beginning of my resiliency journey now
the interested the interesting thing
about a divorce is that it can shake
your life at your sketch and if you
don’t know what net just sketch is
pretend like you do so I don’t feel old
but it gives you a blank canvas and it
allows you to start all over be someone
different but more importantly allows
you to connect yourself so that’s what I
did I I got some tattoos I bought a
motorcycle connecting to the 14 year old
in me who was zipping around the
neighborhood in his little lawn mower
engine scooter and those were some of
the best times of my life I I found
CrossFit and connecting me to the 12
year old who was spinning on his head in
the driveway my dad would come home with
throw books at me and tell me this is
not why we came to America and then I
started a little blog called angry
therapist connecting me to the writer
that I locked into a Hope Chest when I
quit screenwriting and I pulled the
curtain back and I decided to be
transparent I decided to be vulnerable I
decided to show myself for the first
time and basically I said that I’m
divorced I’m hurting I’m broken and I’m
a therapist how can I help you and it
turned into a full practice and I
started coaching people all over the
world thousands of sessions and then
offline I thought you know if we’re
gonna talk about life let’s do life what
we’re talking so I went on hikes and I
would just zoom around town on my little
more cycle met people in coffee shops
around lakes I brought them into the
fitness world and that led to a book
deal and then it led to a company that I
co-founded called shift and we’re
training life coaches to help people
help people and doing it in a way that’s
honest to them and a lot of people are
calling in a movement because we’re
changing the way we change and all of
that leading to me here today in this
room encouraging you guys to throw away
all your blueprints all your shoulds all
your definitions on what you think
success looks like that’s injected by
commercials advertising society old
versions of yourself because true
resiliency is about connection and that
connection has to be honest in order for
you to be at your potential and go in
the direction that you’re meant to go in
everyone else will adjust let me say
that again everyone will adjust
including your parents send them the
voicemail because your job here and this
is what I’ve discovered
it’s not to please anyone your job on
this planet is not to please anyone it’s
to live the most honest authentic life
that you can because that’s the only way
that your unique gifts will shine not
for you but for us you have to get to a
place where you not only connect with
yourself but you actually like yourself
because then you are no longer in parts
your whole you become a squirrel and I
was so nervous that I was gonna say
squirrel at this part of the speech but
it did say squirrel right okay so quick
story a few weeks ago I was talking to
my energy coach and she said John I feel
like you’re elements you are marble and
I said no I’m in Aries I’m fire and
she’s like no I feel like you’re marble
and I thought about this and I was like
you know what you’re right so for the
last 10 years I’ve been running toward
myself and holding on to me with both
hands and actually getting to a place
where I’m okay with me and so I’ve
become a swirl and no one can separate
my color so you got to get to a place
where you not only connect but you like
yourself because if you like yourself
you’re going to be compassionate toward
yourself you’re going to stop working
out chapters you’re going to stand on
your truth you’re going to announce your
Korean name yes these are notes I get
tattoos so I could camouflage the notes
when I speak
so how do you do this how do you connect
with yourself so you can be resilient
there’s no complicated process you guys
all know how to do this you listen to
that faint whisper that you’ve been
ignoring for so long and like in your
relationship it’s built moment by moment
day by day so you listen and you honor
and you execute in everyday life until
you feel complete until you feel whole
until you feel connected until you’ve
swam too far to turn back that’s when
you lose your glasses and you’re given a
cape so in closing I just want to say
that resiliency isn’t about overcoming
it’s about connecting and accepting and
living that the byproduct of that is
overcoming so if you want to be
resilient blow up all your blueprints
everything that you think you should be
or where you should be in your life and
walk into that massive rubble find that
part of you that you’ve disconnected
with and dust her off and let her speak
thank you
[Applause]
order to be here today so thank you for
allowing me to speak so my name is John
Kim I’m one of five thousand 623 John
Kim’s just on this campus alone my my
Korean name is Charlie but the teachers
can pronounce it so they call me Chucky
until the 4th grade until my parents
went to a Korean fortune-teller and they
came back with the name John and I was
like that’s such a generic name but
thank God they didn’t let a
nine-year-old name himself a potty mouth
nine-year-old name himself or Elsa I’d
be standing in front of you today is
like cannon man or maybe rad so what
does my name have to do with resiliency
so as I announced my Korean name there’s
a part of me my pseudo side my false
self that wants to rip out that chapter
that’s embarrassed of that name and I
have to fight that because I believe
that the road to ourselves is where true
resiliency lives so I tell people I’ve
lived two lives there’s the old John Kim
in the new John Kim and the Great Divide
came in the form of a divorce and so the
old John Kim pre divorce was struggling
screenwriter and I read I ran the scenic
nightclub in Hollywood and I was
obsessed with chasing shiny things my
idea of success was a three-picture deal
the Porsche Range Rover combo in the
horseshoe-shaped driveway the Glass
House in the hills and a beautiful wife
and I didn’t because I didn’t obtain
those things I didn’t allow myself to be
happy and so I spent a decade in coffee
shops trying to think of clever dialogue
and trying to sell the million dollar
screenplay but I was exchanging my truth
for membership to a club called success
and I was wasn’t on the guest list so I
was depressed and I was just like going
through life empty hollow like a leaf
and I was talking to my own therapist
and he said John if you can’t make
movies what do you want to do with your
life and I said if I can’t move people
by the masters I’ll do it one at a time
I want to do it you’re doing so my
mid-thirties I went back to school and I
became a therapist and that was the
beginning of my resiliency journey now
the interested the interesting thing
about a divorce is that it can shake
your life at your sketch and if you
don’t know what net just sketch is
pretend like you do so I don’t feel old
but it gives you a blank canvas and it
allows you to start all over be someone
different but more importantly allows
you to connect yourself so that’s what I
did I I got some tattoos I bought a
motorcycle connecting to the 14 year old
in me who was zipping around the
neighborhood in his little lawn mower
engine scooter and those were some of
the best times of my life I I found
CrossFit and connecting me to the 12
year old who was spinning on his head in
the driveway my dad would come home with
throw books at me and tell me this is
not why we came to America and then I
started a little blog called angry
therapist connecting me to the writer
that I locked into a Hope Chest when I
quit screenwriting and I pulled the
curtain back and I decided to be
transparent I decided to be vulnerable I
decided to show myself for the first
time and basically I said that I’m
divorced I’m hurting I’m broken and I’m
a therapist how can I help you and it
turned into a full practice and I
started coaching people all over the
world thousands of sessions and then
offline I thought you know if we’re
gonna talk about life let’s do life what
we’re talking so I went on hikes and I
would just zoom around town on my little
more cycle met people in coffee shops
around lakes I brought them into the
fitness world and that led to a book
deal and then it led to a company that I
co-founded called shift and we’re
training life coaches to help people
help people and doing it in a way that’s
honest to them and a lot of people are
calling in a movement because we’re
changing the way we change and all of
that leading to me here today in this
room encouraging you guys to throw away
all your blueprints all your shoulds all
your definitions on what you think
success looks like that’s injected by
commercials advertising society old
versions of yourself because true
resiliency is about connection and that
connection has to be honest in order for
you to be at your potential and go in
the direction that you’re meant to go in
everyone else will adjust let me say
that again everyone will adjust
including your parents send them the
voicemail because your job here and this
is what I’ve discovered
it’s not to please anyone your job on
this planet is not to please anyone it’s
to live the most honest authentic life
that you can because that’s the only way
that your unique gifts will shine not
for you but for us you have to get to a
place where you not only connect with
yourself but you actually like yourself
because then you are no longer in parts
your whole you become a squirrel and I
was so nervous that I was gonna say
squirrel at this part of the speech but
it did say squirrel right okay so quick
story a few weeks ago I was talking to
my energy coach and she said John I feel
like you’re elements you are marble and
I said no I’m in Aries I’m fire and
she’s like no I feel like you’re marble
and I thought about this and I was like
you know what you’re right so for the
last 10 years I’ve been running toward
myself and holding on to me with both
hands and actually getting to a place
where I’m okay with me and so I’ve
become a swirl and no one can separate
my color so you got to get to a place
where you not only connect but you like
yourself because if you like yourself
you’re going to be compassionate toward
yourself you’re going to stop working
out chapters you’re going to stand on
your truth you’re going to announce your
Korean name yes these are notes I get
tattoos so I could camouflage the notes
when I speak
so how do you do this how do you connect
with yourself so you can be resilient
there’s no complicated process you guys
all know how to do this you listen to
that faint whisper that you’ve been
ignoring for so long and like in your
relationship it’s built moment by moment
day by day so you listen and you honor
and you execute in everyday life until
you feel complete until you feel whole
until you feel connected until you’ve
swam too far to turn back that’s when
you lose your glasses and you’re given a
cape so in closing I just want to say
that resiliency isn’t about overcoming
it’s about connecting and accepting and
living that the byproduct of that is
overcoming so if you want to be
resilient blow up all your blueprints
everything that you think you should be
or where you should be in your life and
walk into that massive rubble find that
part of you that you’ve disconnected
with and dust her off and let her speak
thank you
[Applause]
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