do you know Peter gene Hernandez John
Roger Stevens Alicia cook No okay how
about Bruno Mars John Legend’s and
Alicia Keys each of these people changed
not only their names but their entire
identity as for me I’ve kept my name but
what I have changed multiple times
throughout my career is my identity and
I don’t just mean my hair although I’ve
changed that a lot too
it started when I was working as a
lawyer and I woke up one day and had to
ask myself why was I going to this job
where all I was doing all day was
fighting with people it just didn’t
resonate in my core so I asked myself
Who am I I’m a daughter I’m a sister a
lawyer I’m a writer I’m a fashionista
but I’m a lot of things but in a word
I’m fabulous
in a word fabulous in a word fab it came
to me like a lightning bolt I knew it
was mine I ran to the computer I grabbed
a domain name and that night in a words
that the fashion blog was born there was
so much magic that happened around that
time the blog quickly became a go to
Internet destination for irreverent
fashion commentary I started getting
invited to all the best parties in New
York City and I was getting some great
d-list celebrity selfies life was good
and when people would see me out and
about they say hey fab Hayes in a word
vibe and I became this name that I
completely made up that was the first
time that I renamed myself in order to
reframe myself and I had reframed my
entire career and that name actually
took me all the way to
Paris Fashion Week in 2009 and let me
tell you it was in a word fabulous a
couple years later I moved to Newark and
I really fell in love with the city and
I loved the art scene the smiling faces
the dive bars and when I would tell my
friends how much I loved Newark they
would go Newark I knew I needed to
reframe Newark not just for my friends
but for the greater community that just
didn’t know what I knew about my city so
it just so happened that the greater
Newark Convention and Visitors Bureau
was looking for bloggers at that time so
I threw my hat in the ring and pitched
myself as norc’s glam Bassett ur a tour
guide to the fun and fabulous parts of
the city well they loved it so I started
writing and month after month blog after
blog I felt like okay I’m doing my part
to change the conversation about Newark
and I think we knew the tide was turning
when the publisher reached out and they
said we’re looking for the author of our
next book title 100 things to do in
North before you die
well I got the job and the crazy part is
the book came out exactly 50 years past
the people’s rebellion here in Newark so
media outlets were looking for Newark
stories at that time so my book ended up
getting written up in the New York Times
USA Today US News & World Report and all
of a sudden everybody knew who the co
ambassador was so this was the second
time I had now renamed myself reframed
myself and at the same time I was able
to do a small part of reframing Newark
so just a couple months ago it happened
again I went on a popular daytime
television show just to sit in the
audience but my question got picked to
ask the host for her advice segment so
next thing you know I’m on live
television and it started something like
this how are you doing
I date wealthy men exclusively some of
my friends judge me because they say I’m
being too picky
what do you think do you think I should
lower my standards so her question to me
was well what do you have to offer and
my response was whenever someone asked
me what I ring to the table I say I am
the table well the audience loved it the
host not so much she wasn’t a fan she
basically told me to grow up and to
lower my standards so after the show I
got a lot of feedback some of it agreed
with her but most people really
supported what I said and they wanted to
know more so that was when I am the
table globo the women’s dating
empowerment movement was born now I have
a whole movement of women that are
inspired global goddesses that are
inspired to date higher date with higher
standards higher boundaries and never
ever settle now when people see me out
and about they say hey table there goes
the table so once again I renamed myself
reframes myself and now I’m going into
my third act in my career so my next
book will be I am the table which I’m
super excited about so based on these
three things that these three
occurrences in my life my takeaway is
that life is less about finding yourself
and it’s so much more about creating
yourself so I’m gonna leave you with
this what parts of your life are you
you [Applause]
Roger Stevens Alicia cook No okay how
about Bruno Mars John Legend’s and
Alicia Keys each of these people changed
not only their names but their entire
identity as for me I’ve kept my name but
what I have changed multiple times
throughout my career is my identity and
I don’t just mean my hair although I’ve
changed that a lot too
it started when I was working as a
lawyer and I woke up one day and had to
ask myself why was I going to this job
where all I was doing all day was
fighting with people it just didn’t
resonate in my core so I asked myself
Who am I I’m a daughter I’m a sister a
lawyer I’m a writer I’m a fashionista
but I’m a lot of things but in a word
I’m fabulous
in a word fabulous in a word fab it came
to me like a lightning bolt I knew it
was mine I ran to the computer I grabbed
a domain name and that night in a words
that the fashion blog was born there was
so much magic that happened around that
time the blog quickly became a go to
Internet destination for irreverent
fashion commentary I started getting
invited to all the best parties in New
York City and I was getting some great
d-list celebrity selfies life was good
and when people would see me out and
about they say hey fab Hayes in a word
vibe and I became this name that I
completely made up that was the first
time that I renamed myself in order to
reframe myself and I had reframed my
entire career and that name actually
took me all the way to
Paris Fashion Week in 2009 and let me
tell you it was in a word fabulous a
couple years later I moved to Newark and
I really fell in love with the city and
I loved the art scene the smiling faces
the dive bars and when I would tell my
friends how much I loved Newark they
would go Newark I knew I needed to
reframe Newark not just for my friends
but for the greater community that just
didn’t know what I knew about my city so
it just so happened that the greater
Newark Convention and Visitors Bureau
was looking for bloggers at that time so
I threw my hat in the ring and pitched
myself as norc’s glam Bassett ur a tour
guide to the fun and fabulous parts of
the city well they loved it so I started
writing and month after month blog after
blog I felt like okay I’m doing my part
to change the conversation about Newark
and I think we knew the tide was turning
when the publisher reached out and they
said we’re looking for the author of our
next book title 100 things to do in
North before you die
well I got the job and the crazy part is
the book came out exactly 50 years past
the people’s rebellion here in Newark so
media outlets were looking for Newark
stories at that time so my book ended up
getting written up in the New York Times
USA Today US News & World Report and all
of a sudden everybody knew who the co
ambassador was so this was the second
time I had now renamed myself reframed
myself and at the same time I was able
to do a small part of reframing Newark
so just a couple months ago it happened
again I went on a popular daytime
television show just to sit in the
audience but my question got picked to
ask the host for her advice segment so
next thing you know I’m on live
television and it started something like
this how are you doing
I date wealthy men exclusively some of
my friends judge me because they say I’m
being too picky
what do you think do you think I should
lower my standards so her question to me
was well what do you have to offer and
my response was whenever someone asked
me what I ring to the table I say I am
the table well the audience loved it the
host not so much she wasn’t a fan she
basically told me to grow up and to
lower my standards so after the show I
got a lot of feedback some of it agreed
with her but most people really
supported what I said and they wanted to
know more so that was when I am the
table globo the women’s dating
empowerment movement was born now I have
a whole movement of women that are
inspired global goddesses that are
inspired to date higher date with higher
standards higher boundaries and never
ever settle now when people see me out
and about they say hey table there goes
the table so once again I renamed myself
reframes myself and now I’m going into
my third act in my career so my next
book will be I am the table which I’m
super excited about so based on these
three things that these three
occurrences in my life my takeaway is
that life is less about finding yourself
and it’s so much more about creating
yourself so I’m gonna leave you with
this what parts of your life are you
you [Applause]
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