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Regards Sur Soi | Gaëlle Vuillaume | TEDxMontrealWomen


[Music]
valentino said I know what want
women they want to be beautiful
it’s true but it’s not quite
we want to be more beautiful, thinner and
younger ones too sometimes you are
disagree with that I’m
photographer specializing in
portraits of women and never any of
my clients did not tell me that she
would like nothing changed in his appearance
we want to be beautiful inside
like outside especially at
outdoors
but outside sometimes we do not like it
a lot when we talk outside we
can refer to his magnificent
photo for a famous brand of
lingerie placarded on all the walls of
my city when I was young and also
beautiful that this photo and its
buttocks do not give me any desire
to show you mine
on the contrary this photo tells me your
buttocks does not look like that and the
only thing that I think is
that on my body it will not make but
never the same is missing
beads some few cellulite
stretch marks thank you for the feeling
of inferiority and oddly sometimes
I tell myself that it is possible that I
could look like this because
everything we see on TV
we talk about transformation
face body transformation of
haircut fashion lifestyle
we all cry that can be a
best person there is room to
improvement and most of
magazine covers does not help us
not because even though we know that everything
is retouched
we still feel a feeling
inferiority and nobody escapes
men or women whatever our
age and our waistline
we often have a complicated relationship
with our body I dream to see
one of my clients on the cover because
that she would become a model for
other young and old
our company needs models there
must give them real
diversified accessible without giving them
an ideal impossible to reach
almost women of all sizes
of all ages
why do we see very little
blankets with women from 30 40 to 50
years old or older are we ugly
spent twenty years you madam you where
you are beautiful
you have a history of values ​​to
to share you should be in first
page unfortunately it’s not very
often what we see on the
covers and as soon as it is question
to have a picture taken I hear
often the same things I do not like
the photos to I hate the pictures I
am not photogenic
or so yes a day when and you
can fill in the blanks when I get
lost 5 10 15 20 pounds when my shows
will be longer when my donations are
whiter when my children will be
bigger
we always find an excuse
what I hear behind me
do not love me in pictures it’s just me
I do not love myself and I know what it is
I have a long career behind me
feeling of inferiority
weight problems of lack of
trust
I have never been pretty when
I was young I was overweight and
I thought I could fill the void and
find the solution in the fridge in
a pair of shoes later in
a bottle of wine
but we know very well that nothing
it does not work to run away is that
it’s not the lack of love of others
who makes us seek solace
in food or other things
it is the lack of love of ourselves
it is incredible this difficulty
that have to be nice with oneself
enough but we choose
this pain no one
impose it there is only us for us
love and treat us with love and
respect and it’s time to do it
because let’s be honest we are a little
stuck in our body and which we
same
so much to deal with the best
that we can and happily sometimes
something someone is going to come go
show us that there is another way
possible will come to help us
to reconcile with ourselves because
that there is always someone to
cross our walls for fear like a
ghost and we see beautiful and we
love despite the appearance that we
post despite all that we
can think of us people read
in our heart and in our eyes for
see our beauty because that’s where
that she is
it’s love and trust that creates
beauty not the archetypes of fashion
that change over the centuries the
first time for me it went through
dancing is my passion my oxygen
when I was little I had told my
mother I wanted to be a dancer she
answered that I was too big for
to be a dancer then it was not a
real job
I still continue to dance
hidden in the back of the room
avoiding looking too pushy
on my body in the mirror and I was
pretty good and one day I crossed the
way of two women without whom I will be
who I am today two teachers
extraordinary dance laure
courtellemont and agnès copé I was doing
two hours of train each week to
go back to Paris
sometimes several times a week this
that they taught me is that little
do you care about the color of your skin?
your size curves of beliefs the
dance is for everyone because
when you dance with your heart and you
shares you radiate and every being
people are entitled to feel exist
feel good
that’s what she conveys in their
course and saissac they taught me I
spent an audition to get into
their ragga teacher troops jam the
first and only hearing of my life
terrorized by but all teachers of
fitness dance and other dancers
professionals with next to me
but I managed I left in
intensive training and I cried
all the tears of my body during
one week
because I wanted to share my passion
to make others exist as I
felt existed and me when I dance and
the only thing I had to do it
it was my body this body with which
I was not in harmony that I liked
not because too big because too much
of beads because too much of this or
not enough that
in short, I still managed to pass
through because I had not
really the choice
and above all we take into account that in
accepting to be vulnerable in
sharing I was getting a thousand times more
and it’s me who did not feel existed
as much as my dancers for the
first time I was reconciling
with my body and I put but I’m
arrived in Quebec seven years ago and
for good and bad reasons
I stopped dancing when I’m
got pregnant I gained weight
a lot of weight 75 pounds
because I never do things
half
how I did it is not actually I
started listening to this little voice
in my head I think you
know also it’s the one that says
always we are not good enough
when we have big buttocks or we
it’s not that we ‘ve had a chest
we have too many we are not enough
intelligent that we are not enough
talented we have a bad mother
a bad wife a bad friends
or any other loophole in which she
rush because she knows where to go
and that hurts the worst is that if
this little voice was a real
nobody would even want that
granny so why are we
listening
why my conway care of confidence
why are we leaving him as much
of place me I’ll leave all the
square
I knew the period after childbirth
comfortable pajama version with sweater
oversized to be sure of
hide my relegating body from
makeup and the hairbrush in
a galaxy very, very, very far away
well then it was necessary that I
give a real pants to go
work and when we will do a
shopping session with this little
friend in the head it’s not easy
it inevitably ends with a
comfort food session at the
home story to add a layer
literally
and one day I saw something
magic in the eyes of my son from to
hardly a few months love and when he
started talking one day he told me
you are beautiful mom for monfils
even in pajamas mode I was beautiful him
saw me differently than me I saw myself
because he loved me deeply
I found it easier to love him
rather than may but myself
problem is that children
do not learn from our words they
learn from our actions how
teach my son how to love him
even if I was unable even if
I encouraged him every day and that I
tell him beautiful things
not what I’m going to tell him he’s going
to learn that’s what I’m going to
show this need for approval and
recognition that we all seek
of our general parents he can not
never come or come very late
it’s up to us to do this work
we set an example to our children
otherwise they will be filled with fear of
lack of confidence of self feeling
destruction and we’ll see that in
their look and sanou will break the heart
because it’s us who have them
shown there is only us to love ourselves
and treat us with love and respect I
not telling you that this
little voice does not come back that would be
far too easy she and I know
that everything is far too far
say since adolescence it’s
interesting as a relationship but
today at the dole less and less
of power over me I’m 37 and like
would say my mother generous curves
it’s life she’s filled with
wonderful moment i try every
days of growing up as well
personally that professionally
I love my job I love to dance
share photographing people and I
chosen today to be pretty good
now I do not need to be more
slim i do not need to be younger
I want something now
my body is perfect now it tends
good health and that’s often enough
thought all of this was my most
great weakness
but I realized that in fact it’s my
greater strength because I
photograph of women and that I want
photograph every woman who has
already look in a mirror and who does not
did not feel well to show him
how do people see it and for
that they change the look she has
on it because every photo to my
footprint of a little girl who has
found the beauty of the woman she has
in front of her and who want to him
shown for this beautiful woman
never feel bad for him again
show that sabotage is not in
the distorted image that returns him the
mirror but well in the paper image
that I show him his true beauty
rid of the fear of the eyes of
other
of this feeling of anxiety generated
by I do not know what lie we have
built and that left us
fall back on ourselves
until we suffocate leave us
sometimes in a ghostly state a
transparent amp of ourselves I the
do because I know this long way
pavement of lack of confidence and that it
no longer control me today I the
do because we have to change the
look we have about ourselves
now because we have to
love now is celebrated who
we are now thank you
[Applause]
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