first one ecstasy turn to the person
next to task would you hold my hand say
oh great from you that’s a shoulder
our sin our society who relegated touch
for babies small children and lovers as
a professional atonic touch and cuddling
specialists people pay me experience
price this industry is promoting because
people are realizing that it’s really
difficult to access atomic touch so what
sonic touch upon touch to the touch
that’s kind gentle presence and it’s
actually absence of romanticism and our
sexual intention it’s not the kind of
touch that makes it photonic it’s the
intention behind it so examples right
what does it look like it’s like
something you’re doing right now you
make simple as holding someone’s hand
all the way up to a full embrace where
I’m holding the client and the – and
everything in between
touches one of the five fundamental love
languages described by dr. Gary Chapman
is several violent languages did you
know that people can be touched start
even in relationships and those not
relationships our society as few buddies
must take agent metonic touch not
uncommon for my clients tell me majority
of my clients don’t want anyone to know
that they see me shame feeling that
something is wrong with me you with us
the need permit on touches seen as a
weakness not accessible or programmed
like why should I pay for something that
should be free
we’re ashamed of our lonely ministers
who worth it may feel impotent to be
able to meet our touching use at the
same time many of us have experienced
such that’s not that state appropriate
asks for or consensual raise your hand
if you’re willing if you’ve had one time
in your life and experience touch this
natural state appropriate ask for
consent case some point here is that I
tell you we all know that one person
that when they see it they read up to us
and they can simply use and we embrace
ourselves and my family is like that I
give a kiss on the cheek to every
relative they see and well this is
widely accepted in our culture it’s rare
that a lot is offered for a sport it’s
expected that everyone wants to be
touched in this way this rule and
actually this makes touch them attention
less accessible as many of us have our
defenses up types just taken from us not
requested for this reason many people
[Music]
many people can’t imagine what I do
because the touch that they’ve received
has not helped but it’s not been
consensual
we are both afraid initiating the touch
we don’t trust us and yet here is the
truth about touch it is the first fun
experience in the womb and it is the
last sense we keep intact into our very
last breath research shows that children
they need touch they can thrive without
it and if they don’t have it they can
suffer developmental cognitive disorders
I’m here to tell you that we never grow
out of our names were touch again we
never grow out of our movie or touch
it’s essential for living it’s important
as the air we breathe and the water we
drink in the largest organ in our body
was created to be experienced with
others so what’s the problem with touch
in our society it may ask reasons one in
five children experience sexual
molestation one in four children are
beaten by a parent to the point of marks
being left on their body one in six
women survive attempted aggravated
sexual assault and women three couples
engages in physical – injecting this
problem might just teaching them consent
is not going to deplore the problem I’m
here to propose that our touch disease
of touch abuse touch aggression touch
deprivation and touch aversion is
requiring an intense touch careful
Tiffany filled the head of the touch
Research Institute that they need a
versatile and easy Miller School of
Medicine has some numerous these on the
power massage a touch for adults and
children alike I’m just having profound
impact we’re seeing it’s lowering blood
pressure and body inflammation heart
rate words the level and many other
things as well moving the quality of
life and that’s what the body what’s
going on in the brain for example our
veterans are experiencing all levels of
trauma and it’s not uncommon to have
touched wrong and while we’ve been
trying to figure it out that tuck
they’re really recognizing that it’s not
enough
normal scientific inviting us to you to
make the brains of meeting their less to
speak and what these touch trauma people
on we need positive experience that
contradict those touch trauma stories
that they keep reliving and that’s
that’s why I do not give me ask okay
what about the research there is no
research absolutely nothing based on the
what I do exactly which is a platonic
touch and cuddling session where there’s
a mutual and consensual giving and
receiving of touch where communication
is very important meanwhile how to begin
to access this is difficult among our
family and friends I have a single mail
client control
and it very clear there’s not a painting
the touch niece and nephew because
looking these fears around single men
touch and such a tease although sexual
deuce are definitely is a real concern
when he heard that he immediately shut
himself down the sons never get to touch
anyone ever again in his family we don’t
trust men that they are able to engage
in Catan in touch and I’ll tell you that
that the men tell me that they don’t
think they can do either so how do we do
it how we begin to break the type of
touch baggage our communities raise your
hand if you are getting all the touch
there is indeed a platonic touch and
cuddling session this any more intensive
protocol that I created called the
rehabilitative touch there this is a
woman where I can look like some of my
clients is desired name Richard and have
that connection in that moment in that
they recognize it back but this all
stems from a need that was broken and
non-existent on with their mother or a
parent under the cleanser playful and in
self-discovery
but then that you can figure out who
they are touches an exploration while
others feel shame about their bodies and
about themselves and my Nana has met
some presence in touch they’re able to
see that shame and begin to release them
to the pair okay but the majority of my
clients are burned out the overworked
overstressed and over dull team they
just want a moment where they can be
free from responsibilities and space
accepting and nurturing there are no
expectations no pressure
and you know performance required trauma
and heartbreak had happened in any age
oftentimes of our language just go
online not all of our memories are
stored in our brain our bodies have
these stores of
when a person experiences a savings my
stay in touch
those emotions come to the surface can
be released
sometimes in tears now I know what
you’re thinking
I have perspective things that say I
don’t know about that I don’t think you
could have touched without flexible
intention I remind that healthy
relationships long for time they can be
mutually giving in this period of
pledged or no sexes are water
just being together the sad irony is a
same clients once they reach retirement
age all they want to do is cuddle with
their lives and why was one nothing to
do with it I think there’s a touch of a
trail I think the trust has been broken
it’s not uncommon to me that the mind
that has ten to twenty years in the
marriage with absolutely no cuts
sometimes for years without sex we have
an epidemic of touch deprivation so
let’s see if anyone’s still holding
what if that’s how to touch the safe hmm
what if time touch was natural what is a
tonic touch was appropriate what if the
time touch was welcome
what if Vuitton touch was asked for
offered consensual the first step is
believing that this is possible at the
beginning I asked you to connect with
the person next to you not sure what
your life could look like you can
continue to send out these connections
connect up your neighbor and ask would
you give me a hug yes and no are appropriate responses