1948 Lee kissed his wife as he always
did and began making his rounds in Chase
City Virginia he was a businessman and
the father of five girls and five boys
mr. Mills was very outspoken about the
plight of black and brown people and he
refused to remain being treated as
though he were only three-fifths a
person this raised eyebrows in the white
community down in southern Virginia and
although warned about his discourse he
remained absolutely steadfast in his
beliefs so that day morning turned into
afternoon afternoon turned into evening
and evening completely melted away into
the darkness naturally his wife became
worried she finally breathed a sigh of
relief when she heard the familiar
whinny of his horse
her husband was home but much to her
horror and much to her dismay she came
outside to greet a corpse my
grandfather’s horse jumped during
thunder and lightning his foot was stuck
in the stirrup and he was dragged home
to his death naturally news spread very
quickly in town the next day and so it
was noted in the death report that
accidental death had killed my
grandfather
however the deep furrows in his neck
indicated that foul play was at hand
loyd Mills my maternal grandfather was
murdered
so is this perspective about his death
valid or is it just a mere pigment that
colors the mind about this particular
situation what is racism its bias
prejudice and discrimination based on
the belief that there are biological
differences in and among people its
social actions political systems that
rank one race as superior and another as
inferior racism also purports that
people should be treated differently and
afforded particular privileges then
stereotypes media portrayal historical
institutional and even socio-political
social stratification in my humble
opinion racism whether blatant or subtle
causes significant dialogue and debate
historically and contemporarily this
Hatfield and McCoy feud has emerged when
people talk about race you have one
group emphatically and unequivocally
saying that a particular event or action
has occurred and it is absolutely racist
yet on the other side you have another
group with equal passion and equal vigor
saying it was a coincidence in no way
shape or form was racist so who’s more
right or more wrong what is it Henry
David Thoreau said it’s not what we look
at that matters it’s what we see so I’m
going to ask you to please direct your
attention to the screen and I want you
to take a mental note and I’ll give you
a few seconds to look at take a mental
note of
every single thing that you see so what
did you notice what did you see if I
posed this question the same exact
question to add with the same picture to
a variety of individuals what they
noticed would significantly vary it may
align overlap or even contradict what
you saw so what was the purpose of this
very brief exercise it was to reiterate
the fact that perception perception
truly is in the eye of the beholder and
that perception doesn’t exist on its own
yet it’s created by the owner so what do
I mean by that if I asked a feminist to
view this picture she would clearly note
that the male is sitting at the head of
the table and although there are three
males and three females why is it that a
man always has to be in charge the
sociologists might know interactions and
behaviors of this particular group of
individuals and take a look at the
culture the social organizations or
prophecies that they are involved in the
civil rights activist and I will say
what I notice first about this picture
is why is the only character in this
picture who has tint to their skin
sitting alone in a completely different
chair and that white privilege bias and
segregation is completely evident in
this picture again mere pigments of the
imagination what I’m suggesting to you
is that we must shift the paradigm
because when we talk about race it’s
usually judgemental and it either has
merit or fault what I’m submitting to
you today is that we need to really take
a closer look at what is behind the
beliefs and the attitudes relative to
race so you might ask me well how do we
do that
how do we get there first it’s important
to take a look inside of yourself we all
have things that we get completely
disgusted about with other people we
have absolutes we have non-negotiables
that lead and guide our daily
interactions but in my opinion when we
take a closer look at what’s deep down
inside it helps us to have a better
understanding of how we interact with
the world the second thing is to
participate in courageous conversations
and to capitalize on teachable moments
so here where is where some offense may
come into play I used to get extremely
irritated when white people would ask me
what I call dumb questions so when the
lastly when that happens does your skin
get darker or does it get lighter I was
asked that the summer while on vacation
[Music]
lastly your hair changes quite a bit
sometimes it’s short sometimes it’s long
is it real can I touch it do you wash it
and then lastly and this is where the
lean in occurs and it becomes more of a
hushed tone so less is it true that once
so I’ve matured over time when I’ve been
asked these questions and others and I’m
able to approach it from a place of not
being defensive but one that educates
and informs and digs deeper lastly we
must put ourselves in uncomfortable
situations when is the last time that
you were in a space that was completely
unfamiliar to you I know that it’s so
easy to hang out with people who look
like us who think like us because I tend
to do that but we have to step outside
of our racial comfort zones and mix with
other people who are different from us
try attending a cultural event try
immersing yourself in a different
seventy-seven years ago on the day of
love Valentine’s Day mr. Lloyd Mills
spoke his truth and he paid the ultimate
price with his life I did not have the
opportunity to grow and learn from him
that opportunity was stolen from me
because of hatred because of fear and
because of ignorance talking about
racism is tough challenging systems and
structures that are seeped and privilege
are extremely difficult and
uncomfortable but is extremely necessary
now you may think that I’m just this
angry angry black woman with a chip on
her shoulder because of my family
history or because of my personal and
professional experiences but racism and
race relations are at a precipice in a
recent Gallup poll 46% of Americans
indicated that race relations are either
somewhat bad or very bad
so I’m asking you to flip the script
today and take and make the steps
towards understanding information
seeking and truly holding your own
mirror up to nature but you’re going to
have to be strong enough you’re going to
have to be bold enough to leave your
environmental your physical your
psychological spiritual and even dare I
say political comfort zones you can no
longer wait for someone else to do it
please rise from your luxurious
complacency and do something now I’m a
realist and I know that I can’t do
everything but I can do something and I
refuse to let what I cannot do interfere
with what I can do so I close by posing
three simple questions for you to
cogitate and hopefully hopefully act
upon if not us then who if not right now
then when and if not here then where I
beg of you I beseech you to please not
let Lloyd Mills my grandfather’s death
be in vain
don’t let him become a pigment of your
imagination the journey of a thousand
miles yet begins with a single step it’s completely up to you