[Applause]
quit to win I can’t afford that my mom
would say as I showed her a shirt with a
man on a horse holding a stick you know
the one it was the one that the rich
kids wore back in my day you see my
mother was a single mother my father who
I can only remember seeing about six
times through my life and the sixth time
was as an adult seeing him in his coffin
they divorced when I was three years old
I’m sorry she would say you can’t play
baseball football basketball go to
summer camp or be in that play you can’t
do all the things that you see them do
them were all the affluent kids that I
went to school with the kids whose
neighborhood my bus would drive through
every day on the way to school
nice new homes made of big stone new
driveways with new cars manicured grass
lawns me I lived in a three-bedroom box
no air conditioning with five sometimes
six people to share one very small
bathroom now their situation my friends
theirs was very different from mine as
my mom would often have to remind me but
I wanted what they had and I didn’t
understand why I couldn’t have it I
wanted the shirt with a man on the horse
holding the stick I wanted to be in all
the activities they were in I wanted to
play football in baseball and basketball
and and be in the plays and go to camp I
wanted it all and I didn’t understand
why I couldn’t have it let me paint a
brief very consolidated pitch
of how I grew up and why I had to quit
in order to win I was born in Tulsa
Oklahoma I grew up there but I’m gonna
take you just for a brief note that
we’re gonna kind of sidestep when I was
three we moved to the East Coast and
then to New Mexico and that was between
the ages of three and five those are
what they call formative years right it
was on the East Coast where I developed
speech so when we moved back to Oklahoma
I had an East Coast accent so here was
my profile I was a poor small skinny
black kid who lived in the projects and
spoke with an East Coast accent huh how
did you think that worked out for me the
black kids including my relatives called
it talking white let’s just say I felt
doomed from the start
this is where my struggle began the
bullying the name-calling being pushed
and slapped around I’ll never forget
being being held underwater by a much
older kid to the point where I thought I
was going to drown I was in fear always
every time I set foot outside many times
I would have to peer out of the windows
I would walk out and look down the
street as I wanted to go to the
community center just to see if any of
the bullies were around and
unfortunately for me the bullies were
always a great or two older many times
having siblings that were just like them
so here was a little little old me and
then I have my bullies in their siblings
now in school I remember in the second
grade being the only black kid in my
class watching the teacher smile at the
kids who received the smiley face and
that little shiny red star that they
used to stick on the papers
I would look at my paper and while it
had read on it the read was only there
to show what I had missed or what I did
wrong I distinctly remember a time when
I I took a spelling test and when the
teacher was returning the test to me I
will never forget how I felt when she
handed me my test marked up with red ink
nothing to say and then the smiles that
she gave to the students who received
the smiley face and yes the red star I
wanted a smile I wanted a smiley face
and the red star on my paper I asked my
peer sitting next to me who received a
smile a smiley face on a red star I said
how did you do it and he told me he said
my mom helped me he told me that his mom
made flashcards and would go over the
spelling words until he got them all
right well I knew that my mom would not
be able to help in this way she worked
multiple jobs as a maid cleaning other
people’s houses to keep me and my
siblings clothed and fed so I decided to
make my own flashcards I got my little
scissors you know the ones where they
were little rounded corners so you know
poke your eye out and I gathered a stack
of brown and grocery bags because they
did have plastic back then we were a
little bit more environmentally
conscious and I cut the number of little
rectangles to make my own cards to the
number of words that I had on my
spelling list and yes I went over my
words one by one until I can memorize
and spell them all so let’s fast forward
I waited with eager anticipation as the
teacher handed out spelling tests
watching the kids who got to smile the
smiley face in the red star she walks up
to me and when she got there she looked
at me and finally
I got the smile I got the smiley face I
got the red star I was on cloud nine I
felt incredible
now this marked a new beginning for me
I wanted to feel this way all the time
so there I was second grade and yes that
at that young age I realized that I had
happened upon something important
these were my learnings there are
strategies that lead to success and
achievement and that if I put in the
work to carry out those strategies that
I too can be successful now let’s go
back for a moment remember that I told
you that I would ask my mom to be
involved in different activities that
the other kids were involved in well I
was fortunate because while she couldn’t
afford it I am grateful that she would
seek out help and as a result I was
blessed by many who would allow my
mother to pay what she could
others would provide scholarships for me
to participate and it was through these
activities that I began to grow and
develop in spite of the negative
environment that I was subjected to now
my black peers from the neighborhood saw
how involved I was and began to question
my allegiance they would ask me why I
hung out with the white kids now keep in
mind they were usually not up to
anything good so once again I began
putting the pieces together and I
decided that well and I just jumped
right over a card there so let’s go back
they hung out in the baton in the
background and talked about everyone
else and I remember telling them I hang
out with the white kids because you all
are not about anything
so look at what the white kids are doing
listen to what the white kids are
talking about they couldn’t see it but I
could the those kids were going
somewhere there were going places they
were involved they were growing they
were learning and my neighborhood peers
were not and needless to say that did
not go over too well either
now as I became friends with many of the
affluent white kids in my class I was
exposed to their family dynamics and I
quickly realized that their family
dynamics were different from mine I
began to realize how dysfunctional my
family was I would listen to their
father’s talking business over the phone
I would meet their older siblings who
were home from college what was that
or listen to older school eight siblings
talk about going to a university again
what so once again I began putting the
pieces together and decided that again
conducting business was key to providing
a good family life and secondly colleges
and universities were important to being
successful so from that point forward I
knew that I wanted to go to college and
that by going to college I can have a
better life than the one that I was in
as the years passed by I continued on my
literally from that point on I watched
what the so-called smart kids did and I
tried to do it better I noticed that
many of the smart kids set near the
front of the classroom they they took
really good notes and they actually paid
attention and participated in class and
asked really good questions hmm now go
figure I begin to find my way in
athletics
ten times making the newspaper and
football and basketball the bullying
that I spoke of earlier began to
decrease and I begin to focus on my
dream of leaving the projects I remember
sharing my dreams of leaving the
projects and going to college to a group
of my black peers from my neighbor
neighbor hood only to hear laughter and
the question now how are you going to do
that now how are you going to go to
college how are you going to get out of
this neighborhood wake up man you ain’t
white your mother is a maid
you ain’t got no no daddy how are you
going to go to college the laughter
continued I remember looking away and
just staring off into space and saying I
don’t know how I just know I am this was
a heavy blow for me as an eighth grader
it was also a reminder for me to keep my
hopes and dreams to myself sharing them
only with those who I thought would
understand now when you live in poverty
and you have friends who don’t you’re
constantly reminded that you do because
I couldn’t afford to dress like them I
had to stand tall in hand-me-downs and
clothes from the Salvation Army or Sears
or Kmart if I was lucky I had to act
like I wasn’t embarrassed when I dropped
off when they dropped me off at my my
little box house that I lived in from
after needing a ride home these were not
fond memories for me high school overall
was a pretty good experience once more I
was fortunate that I was a good student
the message regarding the importance of
your GPA was not clearly communicated as
I was growing up that said I had a 3.72
my junior year and that brought me lots
of attention picture that I was a black
male in advanced math and science with a
GPA of 3.7 – I had a number of colleges
interested in me attending their schools
for both athletics and academics
but being from Oklahoma in my day there
was only one college that I really
wanted to attend and that was the
University of Oklahoma yes now like many
I thought I wanted to play football
there but then that’s another story for
another day
while I was applying to a number of
colleges in reviewing various
scholarship opportunities
I received an acceptance letter before
the end of my junior year and yes from
the University of Oklahoma so when I
received their letter all bets were off
four of the colleges no matter what the
offers were I was on my way to the
University of Oklahoma now I was
fortunate fortunate enough to just piece
together a number of small scholarships
along with a little financial aid and I
was on my way with the help of the good
Lord above
I left the projects that mission was
accomplished and there were many
missions that followed after that now
there are so much more to this story
that I would love to be able to share
with you but due to time I’m not able
allow me to summarize my key learning as
I was heading off to college and why I
had to quit in order to win I had to
quit thinking that dreams didn’t come
true I had to quit thinking that rightly
focused hard work would not pay off I
had to quit hanging out with negative
influences regardless of race I had to
quit anything that would prevent me from
moving forward in a positive way ladies
and gentlemen I had to quit in order to
win thank you [Applause]
quit to win I can’t afford that my mom
would say as I showed her a shirt with a
man on a horse holding a stick you know
the one it was the one that the rich
kids wore back in my day you see my
mother was a single mother my father who
I can only remember seeing about six
times through my life and the sixth time
was as an adult seeing him in his coffin
they divorced when I was three years old
I’m sorry she would say you can’t play
baseball football basketball go to
summer camp or be in that play you can’t
do all the things that you see them do
them were all the affluent kids that I
went to school with the kids whose
neighborhood my bus would drive through
every day on the way to school
nice new homes made of big stone new
driveways with new cars manicured grass
lawns me I lived in a three-bedroom box
no air conditioning with five sometimes
six people to share one very small
bathroom now their situation my friends
theirs was very different from mine as
my mom would often have to remind me but
I wanted what they had and I didn’t
understand why I couldn’t have it I
wanted the shirt with a man on the horse
holding the stick I wanted to be in all
the activities they were in I wanted to
play football in baseball and basketball
and and be in the plays and go to camp I
wanted it all and I didn’t understand
why I couldn’t have it let me paint a
brief very consolidated pitch
of how I grew up and why I had to quit
in order to win I was born in Tulsa
Oklahoma I grew up there but I’m gonna
take you just for a brief note that
we’re gonna kind of sidestep when I was
three we moved to the East Coast and
then to New Mexico and that was between
the ages of three and five those are
what they call formative years right it
was on the East Coast where I developed
speech so when we moved back to Oklahoma
I had an East Coast accent so here was
my profile I was a poor small skinny
black kid who lived in the projects and
spoke with an East Coast accent huh how
did you think that worked out for me the
black kids including my relatives called
it talking white let’s just say I felt
doomed from the start
this is where my struggle began the
bullying the name-calling being pushed
and slapped around I’ll never forget
being being held underwater by a much
older kid to the point where I thought I
was going to drown I was in fear always
every time I set foot outside many times
I would have to peer out of the windows
I would walk out and look down the
street as I wanted to go to the
community center just to see if any of
the bullies were around and
unfortunately for me the bullies were
always a great or two older many times
having siblings that were just like them
so here was a little little old me and
then I have my bullies in their siblings
now in school I remember in the second
grade being the only black kid in my
class watching the teacher smile at the
kids who received the smiley face and
that little shiny red star that they
used to stick on the papers
I would look at my paper and while it
had read on it the read was only there
to show what I had missed or what I did
wrong I distinctly remember a time when
I I took a spelling test and when the
teacher was returning the test to me I
will never forget how I felt when she
handed me my test marked up with red ink
nothing to say and then the smiles that
she gave to the students who received
the smiley face and yes the red star I
wanted a smile I wanted a smiley face
and the red star on my paper I asked my
peer sitting next to me who received a
smile a smiley face on a red star I said
how did you do it and he told me he said
my mom helped me he told me that his mom
made flashcards and would go over the
spelling words until he got them all
right well I knew that my mom would not
be able to help in this way she worked
multiple jobs as a maid cleaning other
people’s houses to keep me and my
siblings clothed and fed so I decided to
make my own flashcards I got my little
scissors you know the ones where they
were little rounded corners so you know
poke your eye out and I gathered a stack
of brown and grocery bags because they
did have plastic back then we were a
little bit more environmentally
conscious and I cut the number of little
rectangles to make my own cards to the
number of words that I had on my
spelling list and yes I went over my
words one by one until I can memorize
and spell them all so let’s fast forward
I waited with eager anticipation as the
teacher handed out spelling tests
watching the kids who got to smile the
smiley face in the red star she walks up
to me and when she got there she looked
at me and finally
I got the smile I got the smiley face I
got the red star I was on cloud nine I
felt incredible
now this marked a new beginning for me
I wanted to feel this way all the time
so there I was second grade and yes that
at that young age I realized that I had
happened upon something important
these were my learnings there are
strategies that lead to success and
achievement and that if I put in the
work to carry out those strategies that
I too can be successful now let’s go
back for a moment remember that I told
you that I would ask my mom to be
involved in different activities that
the other kids were involved in well I
was fortunate because while she couldn’t
afford it I am grateful that she would
seek out help and as a result I was
blessed by many who would allow my
mother to pay what she could
others would provide scholarships for me
to participate and it was through these
activities that I began to grow and
develop in spite of the negative
environment that I was subjected to now
my black peers from the neighborhood saw
how involved I was and began to question
my allegiance they would ask me why I
hung out with the white kids now keep in
mind they were usually not up to
anything good so once again I began
putting the pieces together and I
decided that well and I just jumped
right over a card there so let’s go back
they hung out in the baton in the
background and talked about everyone
else and I remember telling them I hang
out with the white kids because you all
are not about anything
so look at what the white kids are doing
listen to what the white kids are
talking about they couldn’t see it but I
could the those kids were going
somewhere there were going places they
were involved they were growing they
were learning and my neighborhood peers
were not and needless to say that did
not go over too well either
now as I became friends with many of the
affluent white kids in my class I was
exposed to their family dynamics and I
quickly realized that their family
dynamics were different from mine I
began to realize how dysfunctional my
family was I would listen to their
father’s talking business over the phone
I would meet their older siblings who
were home from college what was that
or listen to older school eight siblings
talk about going to a university again
what so once again I began putting the
pieces together and decided that again
conducting business was key to providing
a good family life and secondly colleges
and universities were important to being
successful so from that point forward I
knew that I wanted to go to college and
that by going to college I can have a
better life than the one that I was in
as the years passed by I continued on my
literally from that point on I watched
what the so-called smart kids did and I
tried to do it better I noticed that
many of the smart kids set near the
front of the classroom they they took
really good notes and they actually paid
attention and participated in class and
asked really good questions hmm now go
figure I begin to find my way in
athletics
ten times making the newspaper and
football and basketball the bullying
that I spoke of earlier began to
decrease and I begin to focus on my
dream of leaving the projects I remember
sharing my dreams of leaving the
projects and going to college to a group
of my black peers from my neighbor
neighbor hood only to hear laughter and
the question now how are you going to do
that now how are you going to go to
college how are you going to get out of
this neighborhood wake up man you ain’t
white your mother is a maid
you ain’t got no no daddy how are you
going to go to college the laughter
continued I remember looking away and
just staring off into space and saying I
don’t know how I just know I am this was
a heavy blow for me as an eighth grader
it was also a reminder for me to keep my
hopes and dreams to myself sharing them
only with those who I thought would
understand now when you live in poverty
and you have friends who don’t you’re
constantly reminded that you do because
I couldn’t afford to dress like them I
had to stand tall in hand-me-downs and
clothes from the Salvation Army or Sears
or Kmart if I was lucky I had to act
like I wasn’t embarrassed when I dropped
off when they dropped me off at my my
little box house that I lived in from
after needing a ride home these were not
fond memories for me high school overall
was a pretty good experience once more I
was fortunate that I was a good student
the message regarding the importance of
your GPA was not clearly communicated as
I was growing up that said I had a 3.72
my junior year and that brought me lots
of attention picture that I was a black
male in advanced math and science with a
GPA of 3.7 – I had a number of colleges
interested in me attending their schools
for both athletics and academics
but being from Oklahoma in my day there
was only one college that I really
wanted to attend and that was the
University of Oklahoma yes now like many
I thought I wanted to play football
there but then that’s another story for
another day
while I was applying to a number of
colleges in reviewing various
scholarship opportunities
I received an acceptance letter before
the end of my junior year and yes from
the University of Oklahoma so when I
received their letter all bets were off
four of the colleges no matter what the
offers were I was on my way to the
University of Oklahoma now I was
fortunate fortunate enough to just piece
together a number of small scholarships
along with a little financial aid and I
was on my way with the help of the good
Lord above
I left the projects that mission was
accomplished and there were many
missions that followed after that now
there are so much more to this story
that I would love to be able to share
with you but due to time I’m not able
allow me to summarize my key learning as
I was heading off to college and why I
had to quit in order to win I had to
quit thinking that dreams didn’t come
true I had to quit thinking that rightly
focused hard work would not pay off I
had to quit hanging out with negative
influences regardless of race I had to
quit anything that would prevent me from
moving forward in a positive way ladies
and gentlemen I had to quit in order to
win thank you [Applause]
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