someone said that to me on a day when
words really mattered I showed up to an
event and when she handed me my nametag
she said Tammy I’m so glad that you’re
here but what I heard was thank you for
showing up today
and what I felt was it matters that you
are here we live in an over stressed
over scheduled fear of missing out world
in any given moment we have to choose
between being a several places at once
and what pre appreciation can do pre
appreciation is simply changing the
timing of when you say thank you so
instead of saying it at the end or never
you’d simply say it at the beginning so
come with me to San Jose I’m on a
business trip it’s towards the end I
have my bags all packed up ready to go
to the curb and usually I would just
handle it like a boss and take him to by
myself like the strong independent woman
that I am but I’m learning that it’s
okay to ask for help and so I called the
front desk and as I waited for the
bellboy to come I reached into my purse
and I grabbed a five-dollar bill mostly
because I wanted to avoid that awkward
ending where I would have to flip
through my hundreds to find that one
dollar bill to tip him these are the
questions we should be asking ourselves
and when he came to the door I could see
on his face that he was less than
thrilled with his life and like my own
and maybe like some of you here his life
hadn’t turned out how he had planned a
voice came to my
head some people call it psychosis
others call it inspiration but either
way the voice said give him the tip now
and because I have previous experience
with this voice I know not to argue and
so I handed him the money
his whole face lit up and instead of
just being there he was really there
with me
he started asking who I was and where I
was from and why I was this way and from
that short walk from room 207 to the
front desk
we became great friends he started
introducing me to his co-workers
treating me like a celebrity simply
because I had changed the timing of
something that I was going to give him
anyway pre appreciation has the power to
change a common transaction into a real
human connection this was my first
experience with pre appreciation and I
came home so excited trying to find new
ways that I could pre appreciate anyone
and everyone and so the next time I
needed a bid for my heating and air
conditioning and I knew that it would be
a free bid and because I’m human and I
value other people’s time and expertise
I wanted to pre appreciate him in a way
that really mattered and so I ordered a
Jimmy John sandwich and had it delivered
right before he showed up and when he
came to my door I handed it to him and
honestly he was weirded out she’s like
what’s going on so after that got over
he graciously accepted it and instead of
giving me an overpriced bid and moving
on he sat down with me and we came to a
mutually beneficial
agreement arrangement this fueled my pre
appreciation fire I could not believe
this why have we not thought of this
before and the next time it happened
quite by chance you know when you have a
kindness business you have to have a lot
of side jobs and so one of them
I didn’t plan laughs okay so just stop I
got time for that okay so as a side job
I’m a hot over driver and it’s so crazy
because you never know what you’re gonna
get it’s kind of like Russian roulette
honestly and believe me we talked about
you after you get out of the car okay in
case you’re wondering so these four
drunk people get into my car the same
car that my babies though Cheerios and I
have to vacuum out first as they got in
I threw my head back and rolled my eyes
and thought this is gonna be a long ride
and I couldn’t wait for them to get out
of my car
but when the last guy got in the front
seat he reached over and handed me a $20
bill and what that did for me is it
reset everything all the past drunk
people experiences that I was carrying
and judging them I’d let them go and I
could just be there with hit them and
wouldn’t that have been horrible
if they would have given it to me at the
end and I would have been a jerk the
whole time so I’m telling you that pre
appreciation matters you me we have the
power to reset because how many service
jobs are people bringing the bad
experience and so when you show up
you’re being treated based on the past
bad experience from the previous
customer so if you are that customer
stop but if you’re not then pre
appreciation brings that person right
here with you and it’s almost
like you’re ensuring prompt service and
that’s what tip means anyways to insure
prompt service so why do we do it at the
end I could go on and on for 15 days
about all these experiences I’ve had
trying out pre appreciation well we
don’t have time for that either
so what I really want you to take home
with you today is that pre appreciation
has the power to save lives because it
saved mine when I was little I wanted to
be like Mother Teresa and just go about
doing good and making the world better
but after so many dreams became
nightmares I had given up and my new
dream was I hope I don’t wake up
tomorrow and when people would die I
would have severe death envy you see I
found myself it’s been a fork in the
road and this way was and this way
was shittier and I literally didn’t know
which was which sorry dad okay had to be
said it’s the truth I had this dream to
buy a motor home and travel America
spreading kindness and after 20 days
with a family of five we realized that
we did not like each other enough to be
in such close quarters and so I ended up
in a mobile home park and he ended up at
his parents and neither one of us were
compromising and so I had the kids
during the day and he had him at night
and at night when I would sit in my
motorhome in this trailer park
surrounded by this 34 foot failure right
in my face I felt like I couldn’t
breathe like I was gonna implode from
the inside out
I thought drugs or maybe alcohol were my
only
options because I couldn’t feel this way
much longer I looked around and I found
a stack of bright flash cards that my
dad had taught me to keep around for
when I have a good idea I did not write
down any ideas but I started writing
thank you notes to anyone I could think
of people at church people in the store
if I had an address and a name they were
getting thank-you cards and just like
yours
bright bright colors and I would do that
until I fell asleep or until I felt
better and I found that looking for the
good in others helped me see the good in
myself I am not the same person that I
was a year and a half ago when you got
came here you got two cards one is for
you because I know how hard it is to
show up and the second one is blink and
that’s for you to send to someone who’s
made a difference in your life because
why do we wait until someone’s funeral
to tell them that they have made a
difference in our life somewhere along
the way someone decided that we should
wait to say thank you but don’t wait pre
appreciate with me join me in making
people feel like it matters that they
are here because it does it matters that you are still here