[Music]
[Applause]
you know it was only five years ago that
I realized I was courageous for the very
first time and it changed my life how
many of you feel like you’ve been brave
or courageous raise your hand okay great
I see that some of you feel you have for
those that didn’t raise your hand
consider these everyday acts of bravery
have you ever found yourself reaching
for that remote control that bag of
chips and then decide to reach for your
running shoes instead or have you ever
had to say no to that glass of wine or
beer in a social situation or even
saying no to activities and people that
do not serve you
courage is different for everyone
look at my put together dress and my
constant smile I am one that always
wants to look polished poised and put
together perhaps you may not even
courage again is different for everyone
things aren’t always what they seem just
when you think you have someone figured
out you don’t not really as a life coach
I’ve had the joy and privilege to peer
into people’s souls and help them learn
even more about themselves their stories
inspire me and they intrigued me but
they also confuse me take for instance
my dear friend whom I will call Rosa
walked in one day with a flier of her
beautiful 18 year old son he was missing
he was handsome in kind and had a bright
future ahead of him he even had his
mother in his phone under the name my
hero the fear I saw in Rose’s eyes
course through my body like a menacing
electric shock at the time my two young
sons were still living at home and I
couldn’t bear the thought of ever losing
them I held them like never before that
night and then the unthinkable happened
the authorities found Rosa’s son in the
middle of Wyoming beaten to death for no
apparent reason my heart sank for Rosa
and how she would ever recover from
something like this I watched Rosa over
the years remain a loving and kind woman
it appeared that this devastating loss
was not going to transform her into a
bitter and resentful woman she was able
to endure this unimaginable tragedy with
grace strength and courage like I had
never seen in my life how did she do
this I wanted to understand how some
women like Rosa could find
insurmountable strength to survive
unthinkable personal tragedies in their
lives
while others surrendered to the same
obstacles and in many cases never
recovered from them I needed to know
what made one woman strong and another
woman buckle to help me with this I
created a survey and I found 100 women
willing to take it yes this survey is
about women but I’d like the men in the
audience today to consider how this
message might relate to you as well this
group of women consisted of wives
mothers daughters business owners
entrepreneurs teachers nurses students
and artists reading these 100 stories of
the woman’s surveyed I was astounded by
the courage that they demonstrated daily
but never realized that they were
courageous in fact majority the women
hesitated to fill out the survey because
they never saw themselves as brave at
all ever a woman leaves an abusive
relationship it starts and starts her
own business from the ground up with no
working capital a young mother
tragically loses her husband in a plane
crash leaving her to raise her four
small children
alone a mother nurses two of her three
children through breast cancer one
survives and the other one not so lucky
a 14 year old abducted by a cult held
against her will she plots her own
escape breaks free and runs away story
after story I began to see a pattern of
how these women pulled through they
figured it out and they courageously
prevailed but never saw themselves as
courageous they just did what they had
to do and then they moved on to tackle
the next challenge they overcame their
adversities as if they had no
other choice but they did have a choice
they chose to survive and in many cases
thrive I want everyone here today to
know that the battle scars of life
should be honored and celebrated not
hidden and avoided I want to tell you
these stories to help you find your own
courage
I want my survey ladies to recognize
their own valor and not shortchange
themselves after all don’t we need
five years ago I was giving a talk to a
group of women when one of the ladies
asked me about my own childhood right
there in that moment something started
to chip away deep down inside my heart
in that suppressed little spot so
expertly hidden beneath the facade of my
professional suit and my constant smile
had I shown bravery in my own life or
had I mislabeled it as something I had
to do to survive or no big deal just
like these 100 women had did I need to
recognize my own valor like the women in
the survey I never in my wildest dreams
thought that I’d ever demonstrated any
courage in my own life but then I was
reminded of how these women somehow
found the fortitude in the grit to get
through some of the most challenging
times of their lives it was like holding
up a mirror to my own checkered soul and
for the very first time this is the
reflection I saw for my past where I
chose to be courageous
a seven-year-old me running around
frantically grabbing whatever I could in
the middle of the night waiting for my
mother
my father to rescue from my alcoholic
mother I loved and adored my mother yet
somehow even then I mustered up the
courage to leave the person who mattered
most I also saw a 22 year old me duped
by con artist boyfriend this guy took me
for every penny I had and left me
sleeping on my girlfriend’s couch it was
the lowest time of my life I questioned
everything and my heart closed itself
off but somehow over time I found the
courage to trust again when I thought I
never could I also saw a 35 year old me
afraid and insecure I was in a perfect
marriage with two beautiful sons yet I
wasn’t happy I was living an authentic
life I gave myself permission to pursue
a dream I had to become a pharmaceutical
representative knowing I did not finish
that college degree but I got the job
anyway and this gave me the courage and
the strength I needed to make a very
difficult decision to initiate a divorce
knowing that I would get tremendous
disapproval from everyone around me it
took courage and it took heart for me to
know that my two beautiful sons would be
better off with a mother that was whole
rather than broken right there and then
five years ago I decided to stand
shoulder to shoulder with my survey
ladies and I made this shift from I’m
embarrassed and ashamed from my stories
– I found my strength and courage in my
stories this was life-changing I am now
proud of how I found the strength to
survive their worst moments of my life
because not everybody does
but I did and so did my survey ladies
when I asked my beautiful friend Rosa
what she thought of the stories in the
survey she told me Terry for the very
first time I don’t feel alone can you
imagine the power that we get by giving
ourselves permission to tell our stories
and then recognizing the strength it
took to live through those stories when
we own up and uncover our stories we’re
no longer victimized by them instead we
can connect to our hearts find our
courage and know that we no longer have
to hide like I did for traying this
perfect life and this perfect woman oh
my god I finally realized we’ve been
perfect all along all those bumps and
bruises make us more wise and beautiful
than ever
courage lives in all of us we just have
to give ourselves permission to look
inside and I am confident we will all
find many more stories of courage that
we finally need to acknowledge today I
am so proud to tell you that my mother
overcame her addiction she went back to
school and became a registered nurse and
today she’s my hero and she is my
how will you define courage in your life
and how we use it to shape our future
together what are we waiting for
is it permission do we need a ride a
permission slip to ourselves from
ourselves we are truly the only ones
that can give ourselves permission to
look into our past and mine courage from
it and celebrate it every single day own
up to your own courage and help others
around you do the same after all isn’t
that what we all want is to see the
strength and the vulnerability in each
other hold up a mirror ask yourself have
I been courageous if you take the time
and dig deep I guarantee you the answer
will be yes thank you [Applause]
[Applause]
you know it was only five years ago that
I realized I was courageous for the very
first time and it changed my life how
many of you feel like you’ve been brave
or courageous raise your hand okay great
I see that some of you feel you have for
those that didn’t raise your hand
consider these everyday acts of bravery
have you ever found yourself reaching
for that remote control that bag of
chips and then decide to reach for your
running shoes instead or have you ever
had to say no to that glass of wine or
beer in a social situation or even
saying no to activities and people that
do not serve you
courage is different for everyone
look at my put together dress and my
constant smile I am one that always
wants to look polished poised and put
together perhaps you may not even
courage again is different for everyone
things aren’t always what they seem just
when you think you have someone figured
out you don’t not really as a life coach
I’ve had the joy and privilege to peer
into people’s souls and help them learn
even more about themselves their stories
inspire me and they intrigued me but
they also confuse me take for instance
my dear friend whom I will call Rosa
walked in one day with a flier of her
beautiful 18 year old son he was missing
he was handsome in kind and had a bright
future ahead of him he even had his
mother in his phone under the name my
hero the fear I saw in Rose’s eyes
course through my body like a menacing
electric shock at the time my two young
sons were still living at home and I
couldn’t bear the thought of ever losing
them I held them like never before that
night and then the unthinkable happened
the authorities found Rosa’s son in the
middle of Wyoming beaten to death for no
apparent reason my heart sank for Rosa
and how she would ever recover from
something like this I watched Rosa over
the years remain a loving and kind woman
it appeared that this devastating loss
was not going to transform her into a
bitter and resentful woman she was able
to endure this unimaginable tragedy with
grace strength and courage like I had
never seen in my life how did she do
this I wanted to understand how some
women like Rosa could find
insurmountable strength to survive
unthinkable personal tragedies in their
lives
while others surrendered to the same
obstacles and in many cases never
recovered from them I needed to know
what made one woman strong and another
woman buckle to help me with this I
created a survey and I found 100 women
willing to take it yes this survey is
about women but I’d like the men in the
audience today to consider how this
message might relate to you as well this
group of women consisted of wives
mothers daughters business owners
entrepreneurs teachers nurses students
and artists reading these 100 stories of
the woman’s surveyed I was astounded by
the courage that they demonstrated daily
but never realized that they were
courageous in fact majority the women
hesitated to fill out the survey because
they never saw themselves as brave at
all ever a woman leaves an abusive
relationship it starts and starts her
own business from the ground up with no
working capital a young mother
tragically loses her husband in a plane
crash leaving her to raise her four
small children
alone a mother nurses two of her three
children through breast cancer one
survives and the other one not so lucky
a 14 year old abducted by a cult held
against her will she plots her own
escape breaks free and runs away story
after story I began to see a pattern of
how these women pulled through they
figured it out and they courageously
prevailed but never saw themselves as
courageous they just did what they had
to do and then they moved on to tackle
the next challenge they overcame their
adversities as if they had no
other choice but they did have a choice
they chose to survive and in many cases
thrive I want everyone here today to
know that the battle scars of life
should be honored and celebrated not
hidden and avoided I want to tell you
these stories to help you find your own
courage
I want my survey ladies to recognize
their own valor and not shortchange
themselves after all don’t we need
five years ago I was giving a talk to a
group of women when one of the ladies
asked me about my own childhood right
there in that moment something started
to chip away deep down inside my heart
in that suppressed little spot so
expertly hidden beneath the facade of my
professional suit and my constant smile
had I shown bravery in my own life or
had I mislabeled it as something I had
to do to survive or no big deal just
like these 100 women had did I need to
recognize my own valor like the women in
the survey I never in my wildest dreams
thought that I’d ever demonstrated any
courage in my own life but then I was
reminded of how these women somehow
found the fortitude in the grit to get
through some of the most challenging
times of their lives it was like holding
up a mirror to my own checkered soul and
for the very first time this is the
reflection I saw for my past where I
chose to be courageous
a seven-year-old me running around
frantically grabbing whatever I could in
the middle of the night waiting for my
mother
my father to rescue from my alcoholic
mother I loved and adored my mother yet
somehow even then I mustered up the
courage to leave the person who mattered
most I also saw a 22 year old me duped
by con artist boyfriend this guy took me
for every penny I had and left me
sleeping on my girlfriend’s couch it was
the lowest time of my life I questioned
everything and my heart closed itself
off but somehow over time I found the
courage to trust again when I thought I
never could I also saw a 35 year old me
afraid and insecure I was in a perfect
marriage with two beautiful sons yet I
wasn’t happy I was living an authentic
life I gave myself permission to pursue
a dream I had to become a pharmaceutical
representative knowing I did not finish
that college degree but I got the job
anyway and this gave me the courage and
the strength I needed to make a very
difficult decision to initiate a divorce
knowing that I would get tremendous
disapproval from everyone around me it
took courage and it took heart for me to
know that my two beautiful sons would be
better off with a mother that was whole
rather than broken right there and then
five years ago I decided to stand
shoulder to shoulder with my survey
ladies and I made this shift from I’m
embarrassed and ashamed from my stories
– I found my strength and courage in my
stories this was life-changing I am now
proud of how I found the strength to
survive their worst moments of my life
because not everybody does
but I did and so did my survey ladies
when I asked my beautiful friend Rosa
what she thought of the stories in the
survey she told me Terry for the very
first time I don’t feel alone can you
imagine the power that we get by giving
ourselves permission to tell our stories
and then recognizing the strength it
took to live through those stories when
we own up and uncover our stories we’re
no longer victimized by them instead we
can connect to our hearts find our
courage and know that we no longer have
to hide like I did for traying this
perfect life and this perfect woman oh
my god I finally realized we’ve been
perfect all along all those bumps and
bruises make us more wise and beautiful
than ever
courage lives in all of us we just have
to give ourselves permission to look
inside and I am confident we will all
find many more stories of courage that
we finally need to acknowledge today I
am so proud to tell you that my mother
overcame her addiction she went back to
school and became a registered nurse and
today she’s my hero and she is my
how will you define courage in your life
and how we use it to shape our future
together what are we waiting for
is it permission do we need a ride a
permission slip to ourselves from
ourselves we are truly the only ones
that can give ourselves permission to
look into our past and mine courage from
it and celebrate it every single day own
up to your own courage and help others
around you do the same after all isn’t
that what we all want is to see the
strength and the vulnerability in each
other hold up a mirror ask yourself have
I been courageous if you take the time
and dig deep I guarantee you the answer
will be yes thank you [Applause]
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