[Music]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
thank you we find that parents really do
not learn how to be parents and they
expect that all is just going to work in
the business world we talk about
strategic partnerships and a partnership
if you look at the slide a partnership
has to do with connections it has to do
with integrated systems it has to do
like the last speaker said with
connections that help you get to where
you need to go leveraging on those
partnerships when it comes to parenting
is very very important being a singular
unit yes is good yes you can understand
on your own strengths you can stand on
your certificates you can stand on your
training but I’m not sure any one of us
has gone to the school of parenting I’m
not sure I’ve gone to the school of
parenting either but as an educator yes
I’ve gone through a lot of training as a
counselor I’ve gone through a lot of
training that helps me learn how to
collaborate as a parent I have seen the
value of strategic partnerships I cannot
over emphasize these partnerships and
the value you know they have added to me
there’s a proverb when I put it up a
proverb that says it takes a whole
village to raise a child I agree to a
certain extent with this statement and I
will explain as a career woman
I have children and I want to raise them
but oh let me start from here Mike my
children are teenagers now and they
always give me stories to share so I’ll
share one of them my daughter is in the
in the university right now and she said
Oh some of these children are
misbehaving because none of them African
mothers walk to them on the head and
that’s why they’re misbehaving and I
thought hmm really is that why I
remember when my children but I have to
partner with nannies housekeepers the
people who run the daycare centers
I had to strategically connect with
people that could help me arrive at
where I needed to be I didn’t just pick
any random nanny
I didn’t just select the nearest daycare
to my house I was very strategic and
that’s what I’d like to share it’s very
important I remember when the children
were younger I just I didn’t need a
chaperone I just wanted a nanny I just
wanted a babysitter somebody to pick up
after them you know somebody to go
through these things that’s all I wanted
and then they grew up it’s older and I
wanted more a chaperone
somebody with whom they could have
conversations or can I ride my bicycle
oh can I go outside can I do this can I
do that so my partner’s moved from being
the people she systems and structures so
you have a checklist of things to do and
there’s an agreement when I do this I
will get next thing and if I don’t do it
there will be consequences I find that a
lot of parents are not able to follow
through on their consequence
I will fly outside the gates really you
won’t
so verbalizing such threats reduces the
efficacy of your rules and consequences
so if we are going to use systems if I
want to partner with structures if I
want to be strategic with raising your
children you have to be deliberate I
found this interesting picture I think
is the next one and my daughter used to
do this a lot I was cleaning my room
then I found something that was missing
a long time ago
and then I started doing that but I’m
still cleaning my room two days later
there needs to be a consequence to this
room that is been cleaned for two days
unfortunately in this part of the world
were very big on venting as opposed to
being deliberate about corrective
measures my father was one of those who
you misbehave the military man by the
way you misbehave he won’t just hit you
no you go to the room we gets the
certain rod of Correction and you agree
on the number of strokes dependent on
the offense now I’m one of those like
another speaker said who was the little
girl who remembered feeling worthless
because of the number of words of
Correction strokes that I had to endure
at different points and I learned from
that that the road the the the physical
violence of that is not correct but
setting of systems and structures and
following through on the consequences
have been fantastic for me as a parent
and I digress so go back I have had to
partner with teachers even
I am a teacher I have had to partner
with learning support teachers special
education needs teachers because one of
my children my son the younger one had
additional needs that I knew nothing
about when he was growing up before I
found out about his needs
I used to use television as one of my
strategic partners the television was a
fantastic nanny for me and I will put my
children in front of the TV and they did
not bother me baby hate and they just
sat there for my daughter being a very
kinesthetic should actually move in
shape so she would get up you know dance
along then things like that I had two
shows in particular okay I think we’ve
gone too fast them after shows in
particular Barney and hi-5 and actually
shows that I would put them in front oh
now I’ve since learned that I was
causing damage and I was hurting my
children I have information than the
American Association Academy of
Pediatrics and they have published the
fact that before the age of truth
children should not be in front of the
video media whose phone it is not
engaging it’s not a strategic partner
it’s not going to do your children any
good and if you must you need to sit
with them and talk through what they are
seeing so that their faculties are
developed they’re developing language
they learn to talk now remember I didn’t
do this okay
and when in
years ago when my son was diagnosed with
a learning disability I realized that oh
dear
what I did all those years ago
lead the function worse so I did not
encourage you to speak I didn’t
encourage him to practice movement and
things that could support him now I have
partnered with my new partners not the
TV anymore and my new partners are the
Learning Support Assistant the special
education needs teachers and visa people
are supporting us at happiness and for
the first time a few weeks ago he came
home with the maps paper 95% now we need
to understand that our children are
different so my daughter very different
from myself
I partnered with counselors I partnered
with used church ministers because she
was on another level variant
enthusiastic energetic and had issues
with transitioning from school in
Nigeria to schooling of reward to how
issues were different and why did I why
do I feel like this because I realized
that you mean part of that village to
raise a child you are not well no all be
all and all even if you have many
degrees like some of us do you don’t
know everything about everything there
are certain things that you need to
teach the children for example the
basketball a famous one that I found I
think I put his photo he says hard work
where is it oh yes hard work beats
talent when talent doesn’t work hard how
many of you here play basketball
very nice I don’t I cannot teach my
child
basketball however is there never work
and teaching this quote is there another
way I can teach him the skill of hard
work yes
will he benefit from learning about hard
work three a fellow basketball player
absolutely because he’s young he’s tall
and can relate is it in my interest to
partner with a basketball player to
teach him absolutely so I find the coach
and he goes to play pass basketball
every weekend now he goes then he was
kicking and screaming but now at the
points where were looking both he’s
taller than me now you know sounds right
you know so when looking god it’s
working now he’s going by himself if I
wanted to do this on my own
independently I would not be where I am
today and so I encourage you find a
strategic half you understand that we do
not parent children on our own
independently no some of these partners
you may have to pay like the basketball
coach or like your learning support
teacher whoever some of the partners do
not earn a salary for example yes my
husband has a full-time job however he
is a full-time husband and a full-time
father with no financial credits coming
from this account only debits
because of all the money we are
collecting he is a partner in this
parenting situation in Africa to many of
us women feel we are parenting our
children alone no we feel the man should
bring the money or we sort out the
children no if you are not a single
parent when you have a strategic partner
already in your house please partner as
you raise your children some of us have
relatives that are around remember be
strategic the fact that somebody is in
close proximity does not mean this
person should work with you as you raise
your children it’s very interesting to
know these things for the single people
who are here to learn these things and
not be like me who belong to our child
in front of the TV for hours and hours
and hours before realizing oh this is a
problem I made a mistake
partnerships are established to help to
build to strengthen bases when you
partner with people in terms of
parenting you are strengthening yourself
you’re strengthening the base of that
form so your children are strong
independent individuals not only lovely
shapes having great I’ll be honest I
have had a few situations where you need
to quite work between my children and
the nanny G in this village in this
community we’ve been talking about and
not have 100 percent success but I have
seen the value of the tremendous value
of strategic partnerships when it comes
to parenting
I have partnered with online websites
lots and lots of websites out there that
give you ideas how to parent strategies
for positive discipline that is all
sorts of things again we learn how to be
politicians we go to business school we
improve on education what we forget
about the school of parenting so I put
it to you today that yes we invite the
whole village however were very
strategic about the members of that
community that come close and are your
partners when you’re raising your
children thank you very much
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
thank you we find that parents really do
not learn how to be parents and they
expect that all is just going to work in
the business world we talk about
strategic partnerships and a partnership
if you look at the slide a partnership
has to do with connections it has to do
with integrated systems it has to do
like the last speaker said with
connections that help you get to where
you need to go leveraging on those
partnerships when it comes to parenting
is very very important being a singular
unit yes is good yes you can understand
on your own strengths you can stand on
your certificates you can stand on your
training but I’m not sure any one of us
has gone to the school of parenting I’m
not sure I’ve gone to the school of
parenting either but as an educator yes
I’ve gone through a lot of training as a
counselor I’ve gone through a lot of
training that helps me learn how to
collaborate as a parent I have seen the
value of strategic partnerships I cannot
over emphasize these partnerships and
the value you know they have added to me
there’s a proverb when I put it up a
proverb that says it takes a whole
village to raise a child I agree to a
certain extent with this statement and I
will explain as a career woman
I have children and I want to raise them
but oh let me start from here Mike my
children are teenagers now and they
always give me stories to share so I’ll
share one of them my daughter is in the
in the university right now and she said
Oh some of these children are
misbehaving because none of them African
mothers walk to them on the head and
that’s why they’re misbehaving and I
thought hmm really is that why I
remember when my children but I have to
partner with nannies housekeepers the
people who run the daycare centers
I had to strategically connect with
people that could help me arrive at
where I needed to be I didn’t just pick
any random nanny
I didn’t just select the nearest daycare
to my house I was very strategic and
that’s what I’d like to share it’s very
important I remember when the children
were younger I just I didn’t need a
chaperone I just wanted a nanny I just
wanted a babysitter somebody to pick up
after them you know somebody to go
through these things that’s all I wanted
and then they grew up it’s older and I
wanted more a chaperone
somebody with whom they could have
conversations or can I ride my bicycle
oh can I go outside can I do this can I
do that so my partner’s moved from being
the people she systems and structures so
you have a checklist of things to do and
there’s an agreement when I do this I
will get next thing and if I don’t do it
there will be consequences I find that a
lot of parents are not able to follow
through on their consequence
I will fly outside the gates really you
won’t
so verbalizing such threats reduces the
efficacy of your rules and consequences
so if we are going to use systems if I
want to partner with structures if I
want to be strategic with raising your
children you have to be deliberate I
found this interesting picture I think
is the next one and my daughter used to
do this a lot I was cleaning my room
then I found something that was missing
a long time ago
and then I started doing that but I’m
still cleaning my room two days later
there needs to be a consequence to this
room that is been cleaned for two days
unfortunately in this part of the world
were very big on venting as opposed to
being deliberate about corrective
measures my father was one of those who
you misbehave the military man by the
way you misbehave he won’t just hit you
no you go to the room we gets the
certain rod of Correction and you agree
on the number of strokes dependent on
the offense now I’m one of those like
another speaker said who was the little
girl who remembered feeling worthless
because of the number of words of
Correction strokes that I had to endure
at different points and I learned from
that that the road the the the physical
violence of that is not correct but
setting of systems and structures and
following through on the consequences
have been fantastic for me as a parent
and I digress so go back I have had to
partner with teachers even
I am a teacher I have had to partner
with learning support teachers special
education needs teachers because one of
my children my son the younger one had
additional needs that I knew nothing
about when he was growing up before I
found out about his needs
I used to use television as one of my
strategic partners the television was a
fantastic nanny for me and I will put my
children in front of the TV and they did
not bother me baby hate and they just
sat there for my daughter being a very
kinesthetic should actually move in
shape so she would get up you know dance
along then things like that I had two
shows in particular okay I think we’ve
gone too fast them after shows in
particular Barney and hi-5 and actually
shows that I would put them in front oh
now I’ve since learned that I was
causing damage and I was hurting my
children I have information than the
American Association Academy of
Pediatrics and they have published the
fact that before the age of truth
children should not be in front of the
video media whose phone it is not
engaging it’s not a strategic partner
it’s not going to do your children any
good and if you must you need to sit
with them and talk through what they are
seeing so that their faculties are
developed they’re developing language
they learn to talk now remember I didn’t
do this okay
and when in
years ago when my son was diagnosed with
a learning disability I realized that oh
dear
what I did all those years ago
lead the function worse so I did not
encourage you to speak I didn’t
encourage him to practice movement and
things that could support him now I have
partnered with my new partners not the
TV anymore and my new partners are the
Learning Support Assistant the special
education needs teachers and visa people
are supporting us at happiness and for
the first time a few weeks ago he came
home with the maps paper 95% now we need
to understand that our children are
different so my daughter very different
from myself
I partnered with counselors I partnered
with used church ministers because she
was on another level variant
enthusiastic energetic and had issues
with transitioning from school in
Nigeria to schooling of reward to how
issues were different and why did I why
do I feel like this because I realized
that you mean part of that village to
raise a child you are not well no all be
all and all even if you have many
degrees like some of us do you don’t
know everything about everything there
are certain things that you need to
teach the children for example the
basketball a famous one that I found I
think I put his photo he says hard work
where is it oh yes hard work beats
talent when talent doesn’t work hard how
many of you here play basketball
very nice I don’t I cannot teach my
child
basketball however is there never work
and teaching this quote is there another
way I can teach him the skill of hard
work yes
will he benefit from learning about hard
work three a fellow basketball player
absolutely because he’s young he’s tall
and can relate is it in my interest to
partner with a basketball player to
teach him absolutely so I find the coach
and he goes to play pass basketball
every weekend now he goes then he was
kicking and screaming but now at the
points where were looking both he’s
taller than me now you know sounds right
you know so when looking god it’s
working now he’s going by himself if I
wanted to do this on my own
independently I would not be where I am
today and so I encourage you find a
strategic half you understand that we do
not parent children on our own
independently no some of these partners
you may have to pay like the basketball
coach or like your learning support
teacher whoever some of the partners do
not earn a salary for example yes my
husband has a full-time job however he
is a full-time husband and a full-time
father with no financial credits coming
from this account only debits
because of all the money we are
collecting he is a partner in this
parenting situation in Africa to many of
us women feel we are parenting our
children alone no we feel the man should
bring the money or we sort out the
children no if you are not a single
parent when you have a strategic partner
already in your house please partner as
you raise your children some of us have
relatives that are around remember be
strategic the fact that somebody is in
close proximity does not mean this
person should work with you as you raise
your children it’s very interesting to
know these things for the single people
who are here to learn these things and
not be like me who belong to our child
in front of the TV for hours and hours
and hours before realizing oh this is a
problem I made a mistake
partnerships are established to help to
build to strengthen bases when you
partner with people in terms of
parenting you are strengthening yourself
you’re strengthening the base of that
form so your children are strong
independent individuals not only lovely
shapes having great I’ll be honest I
have had a few situations where you need
to quite work between my children and
the nanny G in this village in this
community we’ve been talking about and
not have 100 percent success but I have
seen the value of the tremendous value
of strategic partnerships when it comes
to parenting
I have partnered with online websites
lots and lots of websites out there that
give you ideas how to parent strategies
for positive discipline that is all
sorts of things again we learn how to be
politicians we go to business school we
improve on education what we forget
about the school of parenting so I put
it to you today that yes we invite the
whole village however were very
strategic about the members of that
community that come close and are your
partners when you’re raising your
children thank you very much
[Music]
[Applause]
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