so my mother is dying
and I can’t help her she has Alzheimer’s
they call it dementia and what is
dementia to give you an idea you have a
room at dusk that’s going dark
I knew that after every dusk they’d be
done in the morning but with dementia
there was never a bit light driving no
dawn ever
it’s a lot of pieces are every Sunday
but for the past three years I don’t go
anymore because to visit her it’s like
to have a new wound in your skin to
visit her is to remember and to remember
is to compare and to compare to think of
what is and what could have been so
we’re here this afternoon
and you’re wondering why he’s telling me
about his mother’s sickness a few years
ago a friend of mine told me a story
she said her mother woke up in the
morning had her but had her breakfast I
left the house and she disappeared
well as if the conversatio flea goes
open his mouth wide and surrounded her
hole that story hurt me so much
I wrote a four thousand word article
about it after my mom was diagnosed with
Alzheimer’s that story came back to me
and he came back to me with so much
force
because when I could just one day open
the door
walk out to the house go past the gate
and disappear because you go out be
confused disoriented and nobody would
know who she is
so what did we do we wrote her name our
phone numbers and the address I’m
putting her bags in her wallet
I don’t nobody plays for her but that
wasn’t what bothered me as her illness
progressed I began to remember a story
that had before in Lagos about old women
who will be mobbed and killed they will
say they were flying in the afternoon
and the coordinate disappeared and they
fell on the ground and they’re witches
there was a leak crawled into a hole and
how did woman into the hole and they’ll
be killed many of us here have read the
students they were good for her which is
trying to kidnap children those women
could have been my mother the only
difference is that she’s got kids who
can take care of her and give us the
option AIDS
so the first breaches this when you live
here and you hear about the witch next
time pause and say maybe she’s not a
witch
maybe it’s an older man with dementia
who has been found the wrong place at
the wrong time
why do we kill women like this we live
in a country where sometimes life is
very cheap and we’re always looking for
who is doing us every problem you have
is not because you didn’t work hard but
because he made a mistake is because
somebody has told you in your destiny
when your mother has dementia
the only prop you have becomes memories
as I running because she’s lost her
memory and all you can do is rely on
memories of what used to be so my mom
was a teacher she was firm she was
loving she was kind when I was young I
stammered
I couldn’t stand here and talk to you
like this but Trudy loved my mom you
know and prayers overcame it
today people sit on her knees and writer
I became that because my mother bought
me books she saw I love to read and
bought my books and that love she showed
me made me a writer when I speak about
her now as we go behind the past tense
which is funny because she gives us down
here in Legos
well you know we think that that means
that your breath has ceased but that is
not just that that starts from when
begin to atrophy when you become less
than you used to be when you can’t
function at full steam so memories are
all we have now of what she used to be
how she used to be and I remember my
mother as a young woman you had short
skirts platform shoes afro hair she
liked to drink chilled star a laugh with
her friends I’m a dad would sit beside
her and drink white horse and smoking
cigarettes I remember my mom very neat
woman you speak to her to see to you
mister man thank you your mouth what is
smelling cooler on a woman who every
Saturday morning she would cut her nails
and paint them bright red I used to like
to sit beside her and watch her clean
her nails with nail polish remover
and then I would take the cutting whoa
I’m pressed against my cheek
I like the coldness and the smell of
alcohol that hit my nose Oh like
memories I have of her as a young woman
healthy woman my mom loved music music
was like the table start to her mood if
she was happy she would play Don
Williams she pleased the Divis she would
flip on him she would play ABBA
when she was sad she would sleep or
Molly or retells she didn’t like really
very much these days I’m not sure what I
should remember what music is or that
she thinks is just sound and noise the
second reason tell about my mom is
because in the past two months there’s
been a happy Weinstein scandal I’m sure
we’ll hear about it this is the big man
who’s falling from grace and his story
makes me wonder how does this mom feel
did the child she thought she was
bringing up how does his wife feel it
did the husband she thought she was
getting married – how do his daughters
feel their father who’s been brought
down from all the nothing and in
thinking about that man his fall from
grace I’ve come to certain truths the
first truth is that any woman can raise
a man the second truth is that it takes
a good woman to raise a good man
and that is the bridge I think we are
here to cross today as the only man in
the midst of 12 speakers who are all
female I think I have the privilege of
saying this
my mom did a brief for us as men to be
decent men to be good men to respect
women and I think that all of you here
in this audience who are women whether
you have children or not any man that
comes in contact with you any boy that
come together with you
you have a moral duty to teach him the
value women to teach him to be decent
I’m not here to induct happy Weinstein
to sue that he’s guilty or not but I
want to say is that the power we have as
men and the power we have as people who
have made money or who have become
successful should not be used as a
weapon to bring women down our fathers
fathers well you know this Africa in a
way there for you to bring you up so
it’s left to our mothers and our mothers
have to do the hard work to teach us
right from wrong to teach us how to beat
this end to teach us how to be good men
my mom did that for me I’m sure that’s
why you pick me to join this women today
uncertain is that even though remember
me what she sees me now doesn’t know who
I am
I look at her I know who she is my
mother who taught me to be a descent
young man thank you
and I can’t help her she has Alzheimer’s
they call it dementia and what is
dementia to give you an idea you have a
room at dusk that’s going dark
I knew that after every dusk they’d be
done in the morning but with dementia
there was never a bit light driving no
dawn ever
it’s a lot of pieces are every Sunday
but for the past three years I don’t go
anymore because to visit her it’s like
to have a new wound in your skin to
visit her is to remember and to remember
is to compare and to compare to think of
what is and what could have been so
we’re here this afternoon
and you’re wondering why he’s telling me
about his mother’s sickness a few years
ago a friend of mine told me a story
she said her mother woke up in the
morning had her but had her breakfast I
left the house and she disappeared
well as if the conversatio flea goes
open his mouth wide and surrounded her
hole that story hurt me so much
I wrote a four thousand word article
about it after my mom was diagnosed with
Alzheimer’s that story came back to me
and he came back to me with so much
force
because when I could just one day open
the door
walk out to the house go past the gate
and disappear because you go out be
confused disoriented and nobody would
know who she is
so what did we do we wrote her name our
phone numbers and the address I’m
putting her bags in her wallet
I don’t nobody plays for her but that
wasn’t what bothered me as her illness
progressed I began to remember a story
that had before in Lagos about old women
who will be mobbed and killed they will
say they were flying in the afternoon
and the coordinate disappeared and they
fell on the ground and they’re witches
there was a leak crawled into a hole and
how did woman into the hole and they’ll
be killed many of us here have read the
students they were good for her which is
trying to kidnap children those women
could have been my mother the only
difference is that she’s got kids who
can take care of her and give us the
option AIDS
so the first breaches this when you live
here and you hear about the witch next
time pause and say maybe she’s not a
witch
maybe it’s an older man with dementia
who has been found the wrong place at
the wrong time
why do we kill women like this we live
in a country where sometimes life is
very cheap and we’re always looking for
who is doing us every problem you have
is not because you didn’t work hard but
because he made a mistake is because
somebody has told you in your destiny
when your mother has dementia
the only prop you have becomes memories
as I running because she’s lost her
memory and all you can do is rely on
memories of what used to be so my mom
was a teacher she was firm she was
loving she was kind when I was young I
stammered
I couldn’t stand here and talk to you
like this but Trudy loved my mom you
know and prayers overcame it
today people sit on her knees and writer
I became that because my mother bought
me books she saw I love to read and
bought my books and that love she showed
me made me a writer when I speak about
her now as we go behind the past tense
which is funny because she gives us down
here in Legos
well you know we think that that means
that your breath has ceased but that is
not just that that starts from when
begin to atrophy when you become less
than you used to be when you can’t
function at full steam so memories are
all we have now of what she used to be
how she used to be and I remember my
mother as a young woman you had short
skirts platform shoes afro hair she
liked to drink chilled star a laugh with
her friends I’m a dad would sit beside
her and drink white horse and smoking
cigarettes I remember my mom very neat
woman you speak to her to see to you
mister man thank you your mouth what is
smelling cooler on a woman who every
Saturday morning she would cut her nails
and paint them bright red I used to like
to sit beside her and watch her clean
her nails with nail polish remover
and then I would take the cutting whoa
I’m pressed against my cheek
I like the coldness and the smell of
alcohol that hit my nose Oh like
memories I have of her as a young woman
healthy woman my mom loved music music
was like the table start to her mood if
she was happy she would play Don
Williams she pleased the Divis she would
flip on him she would play ABBA
when she was sad she would sleep or
Molly or retells she didn’t like really
very much these days I’m not sure what I
should remember what music is or that
she thinks is just sound and noise the
second reason tell about my mom is
because in the past two months there’s
been a happy Weinstein scandal I’m sure
we’ll hear about it this is the big man
who’s falling from grace and his story
makes me wonder how does this mom feel
did the child she thought she was
bringing up how does his wife feel it
did the husband she thought she was
getting married – how do his daughters
feel their father who’s been brought
down from all the nothing and in
thinking about that man his fall from
grace I’ve come to certain truths the
first truth is that any woman can raise
a man the second truth is that it takes
a good woman to raise a good man
and that is the bridge I think we are
here to cross today as the only man in
the midst of 12 speakers who are all
female I think I have the privilege of
saying this
my mom did a brief for us as men to be
decent men to be good men to respect
women and I think that all of you here
in this audience who are women whether
you have children or not any man that
comes in contact with you any boy that
come together with you
you have a moral duty to teach him the
value women to teach him to be decent
I’m not here to induct happy Weinstein
to sue that he’s guilty or not but I
want to say is that the power we have as
men and the power we have as people who
have made money or who have become
successful should not be used as a
weapon to bring women down our fathers
fathers well you know this Africa in a
way there for you to bring you up so
it’s left to our mothers and our mothers
have to do the hard work to teach us
right from wrong to teach us how to beat
this end to teach us how to be good men
my mom did that for me I’m sure that’s
why you pick me to join this women today
uncertain is that even though remember
me what she sees me now doesn’t know who
I am
I look at her I know who she is my
mother who taught me to be a descent
young man thank you
Please follow and like us: