so raise your hand if you believe 1210
million people in this world can never
learn to drive okay raise your hand if
you believe that twelve hundred and ten
million people in this country can never
be good enough in technology okay now
raise your hand and please be honest on
this one if you have ever heard or said
at least once all women are dumb in
technology or all women are bad drivers
or any such generic statement about all
started typing at the age of three
before I even learnt to drive the
alphabet on the paper that’s what my
parents told me not that I have a very
good memory but I do remember being
entrusted in solving math problems and
how passionate I was for computer
programming I was one of the toppers of
maths and computer science throughout my
school life now these are the qualities
one should be proud of and happy about
right but as I left high school I hated
myself for exactly these qualities I was
a teenager abandoned by my school
friends and those rejections hid my
self-worth hard
I started looking for everything that
was wrong with me and not only that I
was filled with disgust for each quality
that I had which was not girly enough
including my passion for coding so when
I started college both I was pursuing
bachelor’s in computer science itself I
spent most of the time in college trying
to change myself to grow myself I
literally took classes and believe me
there are such courses to learn how to
put makeup how to set different
hairstyles how to sit like a lady walk
like a lady talk like a lady eat like a
lady and my YouTube account recommended
my videos like top 10 hairstyles for
women looking back I don’t really blame
myself for the decisions I took but
don’t blame the patriarchal world for it
Jackie is a bug in us ID just like we
have bugs in our computer programs but
Jackie is that bug we have in our minds
and this is the path we have been trying
to fix since generations and we haven’t
been able to it is a bug that enters on
our minds at a very young age and start
affecting our lives later at later
so basically when you tell little girls
stop being bossy be nice like a girl or
when a boy gets messages like stop
crying
crying is for weak and boys don’t cry
a bug enters their minds can you see the
bug in the mind this bug grossed under
on messages that the world gives them
about gender roles the Petrarchan bug
was the reason that I almost left
computer science when I entered college
as I said I also met young women who had
some other serious types of being a
woman
so those stereotypes was something like
women have to drop out of workforce
eventually after getting married or
after having kids it was difficult for
me to not get influenced by them and I
had almost dropped out of workplace
before even joining one until one day my
dad gifted me a book written by Sheryl
Sandberg Facebook CEO lean in women work
and the will to lead this book I mean it
took me six months to complete this book
and the ideas written in this book were
promoted by a non-profit linen
this nonprofit organization aims to
empower women towards their ambitions
through linen circles which are small
groups of people who meet regularly to
learn and grow together honestly the
book did make me aware but the real
change happened when I started a leaner
circle with 12 friends of on campus it
was as soon as I started post-graduation
I observed similar patterns of low self
confidence and the same CEO types in my
circle members and so I made it my goal
to work around them it became my
responsibility to set an example for my
circle members to seize opportunities
that they thought were not meant for
them and so I applied for all on-campus
and off-campus internships and
scholarships because of which I did not
get all of them of course and I could
grab only a handful which were
internships in IBM and Adobe and
scholarships from Facebook and Google
but most importantly lean in circles
brought back computer science in my life
with pride fitness Oracle bug is not the
responsibility of some people it is the
responsibility of all of us and we can
do it by fixing the periodical bug in
our minds it isn’t all of you and I know
it’s rude to point fingers but I’m not
sorry for it because it is literally in
all of you it is in me as well of course
it isn’t all of us and we need to take
action to fix this in our minds I want
to share with you three B’s that I use
to fix a triangle bug in my mind that I
so the first one is okay there’s a bug
in the system as well I know it’s a very
abstract term be yourself so let me
introduce you to one of the side effects
of the charcoal bar it’s gone look your
king is in drawer or what will other
people say or think this syndrome
literally drives how we behave and what
we what decisions we take and this
syndrome is also the reason that we
don’t even know who we are or what we
want from life
men are men try to show themselves as
emotionally physically and mentally
strong because that’s what the society
expects from them women try to be
effortlessly perfect because that is
what is expected from us so be
yourselves not what others expect you to
be
the second one is be powerful and
believe in that yes so I am often
questioned by all the men and women you
are not Sheryl Sandberg’s or Priyanka
Chopra who you to talk about gender
equality at the age of 24 when you’ve
just started your career maybe they are
right in some face but it’s 2018 I
cannot wait till I become Sheryl
Sandberg of Priyanka Chopra to start
talking about gender equality it isn’t
too late
tell them it’s already too late together
we cannot wait to become influential
leaders to talk of start talking about
gender equality and making a change we
need to first start making a change and
then talking about gender equality and
you all have the power to our own life
no one no your relatives your parents
your friends your peers no one has that
power on you you have the power to lead
your own life on your own terms
you have to just believe in that past
the most important one be bold so lean
in circle meetings usually end with an
activity called one action one action is
where every circle member has to promise
to do something to take an action until
the next
Circle meeting that one action is
something that the members are either
afraid of doing or don’t expect
themselves to complete all others don’t
expect them to complete those one
actions change the way you think about
yourself those one actions change what
others think about you and those one
actions change mindset about gender
roles in our societies so those one
actions are very important and taking
the believe in yourself believing in the
power that you have being yourself and
then taking those one action that one
action for your life can actually change
the patriarchal world that for me three
and a half years ago I gathered the
courage to write an email to Lehman
Foundation asking for help that was my
one action and that was followed by
other one actions that that I took
eventually in the next three and a half
years it is because of those actions
that today I can call myself a software
developer and chapter leader it’s not
that today I’m a completely unbiased
person without the patch Oracle bug in
my mind and I have no fears and self
doubts about myself in fact every day I
make a choice between doing things that
make me more likeable and doing things
that I really want to do and sometimes I
do choose the former one I’m not too
harsh on myself but every day I wake up
and I asked myself this question and I
thought what would you do if you weren’t
afraid and I do it literally so be the change to bring the change