[Applause]
so there’s a moment that kind of changes
our life plans I think a lot of you can
relate to this you might be browsing the
store when you see the one and even
though you’re told not to judge a book
by its cover
you can’t yourself you want you need to
find their story and that’s when the
adventure begins but am i talking about
buying books or finding love what
chances are both because I believe that
great relationships have a lot to do
with great books they challenge us to
become a better version of ourselves we
like the way they smell when it you want
to take them with us everywhere we go
when we travel there’s nothing better
than curling up with them that night
especially on those cold and rainy days
but the very best books like the best of
people helped us discover oh we really
offer now I once had a relationship that
began like something from a story book
the details of which could have easily
been made into a Hollywood movie but
after a number of years that eventually
changed into a long-distance friendship
and that eventually sent me into the
dark world of online dating now
having been out of a relationship or
being in a relationship for some time
had me a little bit out of practice and
I like the idea of using the internet
though because I
I like metrics I mean as a marketing guy
I thought I could hack the system and
use everything I learned about search
engine optimization boolean search
filters and how people think to optimize
my profile it’s like having a great book
title I thought it was pretty clever my
friends told me that it was really weird
so they started giving you all kinds of
advice like the stuff you would hear in
a typical wrong things like you know you
should really try and get a date with
them three message exchanges so you’ll
still have something to talk about in
person and that should never respond to
a message in less than 72 hours
otherwise you overhear really desperate
and of course they told me they needed
wrong with my chart you see I developed
the self-compatibility challenge
recently I have created a list of 20
attributes that I wanted in a partner
each one of their own weighted values
this fed into a decision maintaining
metrics that allowed me to you rank
people by fits I thought this was pretty
cool all my friends told me was really
great again
but I was like you know what the site
does not free him anyway it’ll save your
87% mattress so and so and I’m like by
whose formula there’s not buying I mean
do you watch every single movie that
Netflix recommends to you do you buy
every product on the Amazon homepage of
course because at some point you have to
make your own decisions you have to have
your own process this is both in art and
assignments
well these same friends were relentless
and they kept on the wrong that our
advice down telling me you know you just
kind of get out there you’ve got to meet
as many people as possible so finally I
listened and they also told me like okay
when you go on the date make sure you
don’t do a couple of things number one
you never talk about your other dates or
bad relationships or anything like that
especially on the first date number two
you should hide the fact that you don’t
want to have kids so I said all right
all right I just go out there and so I
went up dates like a lot of them like
several dozen for a week in fact
sometimes three or four per night I
would do this but got a restaurant show
up and schedule with dates every few
hours so when one ended I could walk out
come right back in like I just got it
and be ready now this confused a lot of
restaurants and a lot of leaders but
this was about efficiency but I found a
tiny somebody and to help me keep track
of everybody
I created this Google spreadsheet they
have the names sibling count important
information like things we talked about
kids to feel like a pop quiz in a future
date and I wanted ready for that second
and third date the problem is that most
of the time there was some kind of deal
breaker in the process and there wasn’t
that second or third date like something
would happen that maybe not want to come
back ever again for example there was
will call them for beer
this is the person who drank for Peters
over the course of dinner and then
wanted to race me on their bike while I
drove to a bar so they could get more
drinks I only had hot tea than a knife
then there was the person who sent me
photos of themselves dressed like a
Geisha complete with nice tipped back
yeah and then there was a someone that I
thought had a potential fit but quickly
deflated my interest you see there was a
new dinosaur exhibit that came to our
Science Museum in town ones where they
showed the feathers on them instead of
just scales and I thought this is really
cool when I asked how they felt about it
they told me they were Dino usual and I
was like they don’t usually like how did
you feel new to about the most amazing
creatures of Earth or all time I guess
you could say I felt a little bit neat
for about them after I was about to give
up when I finally decided that they
tried one last time there was someone
else interested in but I thought I’m
gonna do it by my own rules instead of
what my friends
telling me instead of what the Internet
has been telling me and so we started
trading these really long and deep email
was for we talked about our favorite
books and we traded life stories and
after several weeks of this we finally
met up in person for dinner now when I
first saw her smiling that was it I just
kept on breaking rules when she was in
the bathroom I texted all my friends
like I think I found a lot of them I got
really excited and then after dinner we
went on this really long walk where I
talked about all these really horrible
dating experiences and I was like I
definitely don’t want to have kids I
matter what you smell things like this
and we ended up a show where my friends
were performing including the one guy
texted I thought all this has gone
really great when after being there for
a few minutes she told me that she
wasn’t feeling well and she needed to go
home right away I thought that’s it like
I messed up I felt that check did and as
I started walking back towards my car I
noticed I had a message she told me she
had a great time so I immediately asked
for date that following Saturday but on
Thursday I learned about the walking
with dinosaurs exhibit the live show
coming to our local Alina
so I decided to ask for a third date
before we even had our second curious
she agreed and this time I definitely
wasn’t afraid to let my flag fly I
bought front-row Center tickets like a
baller to that and we went and SM kids
were getting kind of loud behind us I
was okay maybe if your parents loved me
more they’d find you some better seats
or at least that’s what I wanted to say
instead I did the proper adult thing by
passively aggressively sitting up taller
whenever they made noise easing up a bit
when they had quieted down somehow she
was amused by all this including not
thinking it was too weird that I was
seriously considering this half that I
was crying all in the shape of a trance
or X you know that’s when I realized
that books like love aren’t nerves
actually because how how they start
because there aren’t some kind of lists
or the recommended by a friend know the
best relationships just like the best
books our woman can truly learn who we
are
uninhibited and encounter than alone
life’s lessons don’t hum this
one-size-fits-all package like what’s
what works for one person might not work
for yourself and in the same way that
sometimes become more obsessed of the
idea of reading to point where we forget
to actually sit down and read sometimes
they’re so infatuated with the idea of
romance and finding someone to love us
that we lose ourself in the process well
those few days turned into quite a few
more
and I’m October of 2016 I flew her to
Shanghai China where I proposed in a
real-life fairy tale casted just like
one of the storybooks and that following
spring we got married in a beautiful
lots of Chinese gardens in Portland
dinosaur stocks of course well it seems
more romantic and spontaneous to begin a
story in an independent bookstore than
browsing online how you find it on how
you begin a journey isn’t important as
actually stepping forward to take that
journey at all so I believe that there
actually is hope out there and it
doesn’t matter if you need to use an app
a Google spreadsheet or applying
everything you’ve ever learned from
education to help make it happen that
doesn’t make it any less special just
stay true to yourself to your own rules
avoid racist cosplay photos and focus
less on the lure of how a story begins
and focus more on finding someone who
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause] [Music]
so there’s a moment that kind of changes
our life plans I think a lot of you can
relate to this you might be browsing the
store when you see the one and even
though you’re told not to judge a book
by its cover
you can’t yourself you want you need to
find their story and that’s when the
adventure begins but am i talking about
buying books or finding love what
chances are both because I believe that
great relationships have a lot to do
with great books they challenge us to
become a better version of ourselves we
like the way they smell when it you want
to take them with us everywhere we go
when we travel there’s nothing better
than curling up with them that night
especially on those cold and rainy days
but the very best books like the best of
people helped us discover oh we really
offer now I once had a relationship that
began like something from a story book
the details of which could have easily
been made into a Hollywood movie but
after a number of years that eventually
changed into a long-distance friendship
and that eventually sent me into the
dark world of online dating now
having been out of a relationship or
being in a relationship for some time
had me a little bit out of practice and
I like the idea of using the internet
though because I
I like metrics I mean as a marketing guy
I thought I could hack the system and
use everything I learned about search
engine optimization boolean search
filters and how people think to optimize
my profile it’s like having a great book
title I thought it was pretty clever my
friends told me that it was really weird
so they started giving you all kinds of
advice like the stuff you would hear in
a typical wrong things like you know you
should really try and get a date with
them three message exchanges so you’ll
still have something to talk about in
person and that should never respond to
a message in less than 72 hours
otherwise you overhear really desperate
and of course they told me they needed
wrong with my chart you see I developed
the self-compatibility challenge
recently I have created a list of 20
attributes that I wanted in a partner
each one of their own weighted values
this fed into a decision maintaining
metrics that allowed me to you rank
people by fits I thought this was pretty
cool all my friends told me was really
great again
but I was like you know what the site
does not free him anyway it’ll save your
87% mattress so and so and I’m like by
whose formula there’s not buying I mean
do you watch every single movie that
Netflix recommends to you do you buy
every product on the Amazon homepage of
course because at some point you have to
make your own decisions you have to have
your own process this is both in art and
assignments
well these same friends were relentless
and they kept on the wrong that our
advice down telling me you know you just
kind of get out there you’ve got to meet
as many people as possible so finally I
listened and they also told me like okay
when you go on the date make sure you
don’t do a couple of things number one
you never talk about your other dates or
bad relationships or anything like that
especially on the first date number two
you should hide the fact that you don’t
want to have kids so I said all right
all right I just go out there and so I
went up dates like a lot of them like
several dozen for a week in fact
sometimes three or four per night I
would do this but got a restaurant show
up and schedule with dates every few
hours so when one ended I could walk out
come right back in like I just got it
and be ready now this confused a lot of
restaurants and a lot of leaders but
this was about efficiency but I found a
tiny somebody and to help me keep track
of everybody
I created this Google spreadsheet they
have the names sibling count important
information like things we talked about
kids to feel like a pop quiz in a future
date and I wanted ready for that second
and third date the problem is that most
of the time there was some kind of deal
breaker in the process and there wasn’t
that second or third date like something
would happen that maybe not want to come
back ever again for example there was
will call them for beer
this is the person who drank for Peters
over the course of dinner and then
wanted to race me on their bike while I
drove to a bar so they could get more
drinks I only had hot tea than a knife
then there was the person who sent me
photos of themselves dressed like a
Geisha complete with nice tipped back
yeah and then there was a someone that I
thought had a potential fit but quickly
deflated my interest you see there was a
new dinosaur exhibit that came to our
Science Museum in town ones where they
showed the feathers on them instead of
just scales and I thought this is really
cool when I asked how they felt about it
they told me they were Dino usual and I
was like they don’t usually like how did
you feel new to about the most amazing
creatures of Earth or all time I guess
you could say I felt a little bit neat
for about them after I was about to give
up when I finally decided that they
tried one last time there was someone
else interested in but I thought I’m
gonna do it by my own rules instead of
what my friends
telling me instead of what the Internet
has been telling me and so we started
trading these really long and deep email
was for we talked about our favorite
books and we traded life stories and
after several weeks of this we finally
met up in person for dinner now when I
first saw her smiling that was it I just
kept on breaking rules when she was in
the bathroom I texted all my friends
like I think I found a lot of them I got
really excited and then after dinner we
went on this really long walk where I
talked about all these really horrible
dating experiences and I was like I
definitely don’t want to have kids I
matter what you smell things like this
and we ended up a show where my friends
were performing including the one guy
texted I thought all this has gone
really great when after being there for
a few minutes she told me that she
wasn’t feeling well and she needed to go
home right away I thought that’s it like
I messed up I felt that check did and as
I started walking back towards my car I
noticed I had a message she told me she
had a great time so I immediately asked
for date that following Saturday but on
Thursday I learned about the walking
with dinosaurs exhibit the live show
coming to our local Alina
so I decided to ask for a third date
before we even had our second curious
she agreed and this time I definitely
wasn’t afraid to let my flag fly I
bought front-row Center tickets like a
baller to that and we went and SM kids
were getting kind of loud behind us I
was okay maybe if your parents loved me
more they’d find you some better seats
or at least that’s what I wanted to say
instead I did the proper adult thing by
passively aggressively sitting up taller
whenever they made noise easing up a bit
when they had quieted down somehow she
was amused by all this including not
thinking it was too weird that I was
seriously considering this half that I
was crying all in the shape of a trance
or X you know that’s when I realized
that books like love aren’t nerves
actually because how how they start
because there aren’t some kind of lists
or the recommended by a friend know the
best relationships just like the best
books our woman can truly learn who we
are
uninhibited and encounter than alone
life’s lessons don’t hum this
one-size-fits-all package like what’s
what works for one person might not work
for yourself and in the same way that
sometimes become more obsessed of the
idea of reading to point where we forget
to actually sit down and read sometimes
they’re so infatuated with the idea of
romance and finding someone to love us
that we lose ourself in the process well
those few days turned into quite a few
more
and I’m October of 2016 I flew her to
Shanghai China where I proposed in a
real-life fairy tale casted just like
one of the storybooks and that following
spring we got married in a beautiful
lots of Chinese gardens in Portland
dinosaur stocks of course well it seems
more romantic and spontaneous to begin a
story in an independent bookstore than
browsing online how you find it on how
you begin a journey isn’t important as
actually stepping forward to take that
journey at all so I believe that there
actually is hope out there and it
doesn’t matter if you need to use an app
a Google spreadsheet or applying
everything you’ve ever learned from
education to help make it happen that
doesn’t make it any less special just
stay true to yourself to your own rules
avoid racist cosplay photos and focus
less on the lure of how a story begins
and focus more on finding someone who
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause] [Music]
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