so how many of you guys consider
yourself a change agent alright alright
maybe we’ll get some more hands up
within the next 12 minutes or so I got
my start as a change agent early about
26 years ago I woke up the morning of
May 5th to discover that my brother
committed suicide I remember waking up
that morning to voices in the kitchen
below me thinking it was too early for
my Nana’s pinochle game to have started
she was watching us that weekend because
my parents were away I remember
later that day just vivid moments
heart-wrenching and awful especially as
my parents got home that afternoon
sobbing depleted and defeated why why
would this thing happen what could we
have done to have stopped it
I also remember later that day standing
alone on the driveway as the Sun was
setting behind the house when the
thought really the sentiment came
through my body that we would probably
never know why this thing happened and
that we would have learning and
transcendence nonetheless now I had just
turned 13 so I’m sure those were not my
words but the sentiment was still the
same everything happens for their
reasons notice I didn’t say everything
happens for a reason
once I rented an apartment from a woman
named Betty in Manhattan it was a great
rent-controlled building in Chelsea
third floor apartment Betty had lived in
that apartment for 30 years prior to me
one day Betty went out to New Jersey
with a friend of hers too to see his new
house that was under construction when
they got to the site they got out of the
car he was distracted on his cell phone
she went up to the front door walked in
immediately fell to the basement there
was no floor anything can change in an
instant
in one instant everything can change
often when things happen unexpectedly
like a sudden illness or a death people
often ruminate on why why me
why us why now because we’re
meaning-making creatures our brains tend
to construct stories to make sense of
all things challenges our thoughts are
often incomplete and fraught with many
many biases the thing about that why
question is that it’s futile to try to
figure out why anything happens is is
like to try to try to find a particular
pebble in the sand amongst millions even
zillions of specks there are so many
reasons leading to any happening usually
many specks linked together that racking
our brain to figure out the reason can
lead to stress depression or worse why
did Todd take his life why did Betty
take that fall the thing about that why
question is that it often leads us to
the blame and fault game pointing
fingers at ourselves or others as if any
one reason could suffice the truth of
the matter is that there are so many
reasons so many so many variables that
lead to the cascading causes of the
cascading causes that lead to the
outcomes in our in our lives
causes can range from the side of the
bed you woke up on in the morning to
whether or not you decided to snooze to
the flap of a butterfly’s wings in
Brazil that led to the tornado in Texas
even amongst all of these variables we
can stand strong and our confidence that
we got this and no matter what has
happened we can moving forward which is
the only way to go spoiler alert we can
and will and are doing better starting
right now the world is changing at a
very rapid rate healthcare education
undeniably in politics even the weather
this thing called global weirding how
can we help each other remain sane and
stable and kind through the tremendous
tumult of uncertainty we face
how can we help people learn to struggle
well throughout all of the uncertainty
and change in our world I say first we’d
be better off and and best off if we
just surrender to what is we are always
where we need to be when we’re there our
greatest pain can be our greatest
teacher and our greatest force for
change then instead of asking why we’d
be better off with a different question
a more future-oriented question the
question is what next this question
requires that we learn to think like
Olympic athletes to learn to see and
prospect the vibrant future and then get
pulled by it
this question really enables us as
change agents to step into our most
expansive most abundant most
aspirational most affirmative kind of
thinking which is a skill a set of
skills really that we can learn
especially in this era of uncertainty
it’s so easy to catastrophize and worry
about what if what next worry is such a
misuse of our imaginations when we learn
to think expansively when we learn to
think abundantly this is not an neglect
or an aside of the problems but instead
this kind of thinking really helps us
build a psychological capital which
research shows helps us learn to
creatively and cooperatively solve those
problems even better as catalysts of
change we can learn to think differently
in fact it’s been said time and time
again we can’t solve the world’s
problems with the same level of thinking
that created them one way we can do this
or another way we could do this to to
learn to think about how we think and to
change our neural networks is to change
another question so often we’re so good
at asking what’s wrong what about asking
what’s right when we ask others this
question what’s good we prime for
spotting and focusing on the winds the
strengths what’s working doing so how
like I said build this psychological
capital to solve the problems more
creatively the thing is things change
every day we change every second of
every day and when we work together as
change agents we can solve our problems
we can we can learn to live in a more
abundant future you know I got my start
about 15 years ago as a public school
teacher
and right out of college I saw many kids
not feel good about who they were really
really concerned me it reminded me how I
felt when I was a student actually but
as a teacher I had a very different
vantage point from the other side of
that desk when I tapped into some of
those kids lives I saw families a little
dysfunctional and it was the first time
in my life as a young 20-something that
I looked at my family and I thought oh
boy we could do better we could do
better to look out for the well-being of
each other and what would that mean then
for the world it’s interesting at this
inflection point in human history we are
living in a world that I think are
positional leaders not being equipped
with the open heart centered and
authentic ways that are called for in
our time and that’s why it’s up to us
the change agents the influencers who I
call the social-emotional leaders the
people who are out here to remind us all
that the heart is the engine of change
and when we work together to ask
different questions despite whatever the
circumstances are we can and will and
are moving in the direction of something
better and different Ben Franklin once
said probably not far from here that
there are three types of people in the
world the moveable the moveable and
people who move it is my belief that if
more of us see ourselves as change
agents more of us move in the world as
social-emotional leaders that’s then
what will create the movement I thought
that was an idea worth spreading thank
you
[Applause]
yourself a change agent alright alright
maybe we’ll get some more hands up
within the next 12 minutes or so I got
my start as a change agent early about
26 years ago I woke up the morning of
May 5th to discover that my brother
committed suicide I remember waking up
that morning to voices in the kitchen
below me thinking it was too early for
my Nana’s pinochle game to have started
she was watching us that weekend because
my parents were away I remember
later that day just vivid moments
heart-wrenching and awful especially as
my parents got home that afternoon
sobbing depleted and defeated why why
would this thing happen what could we
have done to have stopped it
I also remember later that day standing
alone on the driveway as the Sun was
setting behind the house when the
thought really the sentiment came
through my body that we would probably
never know why this thing happened and
that we would have learning and
transcendence nonetheless now I had just
turned 13 so I’m sure those were not my
words but the sentiment was still the
same everything happens for their
reasons notice I didn’t say everything
happens for a reason
once I rented an apartment from a woman
named Betty in Manhattan it was a great
rent-controlled building in Chelsea
third floor apartment Betty had lived in
that apartment for 30 years prior to me
one day Betty went out to New Jersey
with a friend of hers too to see his new
house that was under construction when
they got to the site they got out of the
car he was distracted on his cell phone
she went up to the front door walked in
immediately fell to the basement there
was no floor anything can change in an
instant
in one instant everything can change
often when things happen unexpectedly
like a sudden illness or a death people
often ruminate on why why me
why us why now because we’re
meaning-making creatures our brains tend
to construct stories to make sense of
all things challenges our thoughts are
often incomplete and fraught with many
many biases the thing about that why
question is that it’s futile to try to
figure out why anything happens is is
like to try to try to find a particular
pebble in the sand amongst millions even
zillions of specks there are so many
reasons leading to any happening usually
many specks linked together that racking
our brain to figure out the reason can
lead to stress depression or worse why
did Todd take his life why did Betty
take that fall the thing about that why
question is that it often leads us to
the blame and fault game pointing
fingers at ourselves or others as if any
one reason could suffice the truth of
the matter is that there are so many
reasons so many so many variables that
lead to the cascading causes of the
cascading causes that lead to the
outcomes in our in our lives
causes can range from the side of the
bed you woke up on in the morning to
whether or not you decided to snooze to
the flap of a butterfly’s wings in
Brazil that led to the tornado in Texas
even amongst all of these variables we
can stand strong and our confidence that
we got this and no matter what has
happened we can moving forward which is
the only way to go spoiler alert we can
and will and are doing better starting
right now the world is changing at a
very rapid rate healthcare education
undeniably in politics even the weather
this thing called global weirding how
can we help each other remain sane and
stable and kind through the tremendous
tumult of uncertainty we face
how can we help people learn to struggle
well throughout all of the uncertainty
and change in our world I say first we’d
be better off and and best off if we
just surrender to what is we are always
where we need to be when we’re there our
greatest pain can be our greatest
teacher and our greatest force for
change then instead of asking why we’d
be better off with a different question
a more future-oriented question the
question is what next this question
requires that we learn to think like
Olympic athletes to learn to see and
prospect the vibrant future and then get
pulled by it
this question really enables us as
change agents to step into our most
expansive most abundant most
aspirational most affirmative kind of
thinking which is a skill a set of
skills really that we can learn
especially in this era of uncertainty
it’s so easy to catastrophize and worry
about what if what next worry is such a
misuse of our imaginations when we learn
to think expansively when we learn to
think abundantly this is not an neglect
or an aside of the problems but instead
this kind of thinking really helps us
build a psychological capital which
research shows helps us learn to
creatively and cooperatively solve those
problems even better as catalysts of
change we can learn to think differently
in fact it’s been said time and time
again we can’t solve the world’s
problems with the same level of thinking
that created them one way we can do this
or another way we could do this to to
learn to think about how we think and to
change our neural networks is to change
another question so often we’re so good
at asking what’s wrong what about asking
what’s right when we ask others this
question what’s good we prime for
spotting and focusing on the winds the
strengths what’s working doing so how
like I said build this psychological
capital to solve the problems more
creatively the thing is things change
every day we change every second of
every day and when we work together as
change agents we can solve our problems
we can we can learn to live in a more
abundant future you know I got my start
about 15 years ago as a public school
teacher
and right out of college I saw many kids
not feel good about who they were really
really concerned me it reminded me how I
felt when I was a student actually but
as a teacher I had a very different
vantage point from the other side of
that desk when I tapped into some of
those kids lives I saw families a little
dysfunctional and it was the first time
in my life as a young 20-something that
I looked at my family and I thought oh
boy we could do better we could do
better to look out for the well-being of
each other and what would that mean then
for the world it’s interesting at this
inflection point in human history we are
living in a world that I think are
positional leaders not being equipped
with the open heart centered and
authentic ways that are called for in
our time and that’s why it’s up to us
the change agents the influencers who I
call the social-emotional leaders the
people who are out here to remind us all
that the heart is the engine of change
and when we work together to ask
different questions despite whatever the
circumstances are we can and will and
are moving in the direction of something
better and different Ben Franklin once
said probably not far from here that
there are three types of people in the
world the moveable the moveable and
people who move it is my belief that if
more of us see ourselves as change
agents more of us move in the world as
social-emotional leaders that’s then
what will create the movement I thought
that was an idea worth spreading thank
you
[Applause]
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