there are probably two kinds of people
in this hall right now one who share
motivational course on Facebook all the
time and the first people for doing so I
am part of the first group furs on
Amazon ladies and gentlemen it’s really
nice to see you all here today and I
have a quote for you I have the code for
you today you cannot ignore this
you cannot scroll past this you cannot
see my message but please do not take
this as a challenge and lead to all the
code that I have for you today is why do
we fall so we can learn to pick
ourselves up this is from the first
movie of the NOLA trilogy called Batman
Begins it comes at a very important
point in the movie at a point where
Batman is completely outsmarted by the
movies villain ambush in his own home
and he thinks he has lost things he’s
failing and these are the words that his
his caretaker his partner Alfred says to
him at that time why is this core so
important why is this core so important
to a big fan of one of the most iconic
and badass superheroes
maybe because in this moment I was able
to see the same superhero in a moment of
vulnerability in a moment where he
needed to be told that it’s okay
an old man with no superpowers came up
with arguably the strongest point of the
movie by normalizing failure for Batman
he told him that it’s okay it’s part of
the process even though it might feel
like the end it’s not and that he can
but what did I take away from all of
this all that I just said and more but
let me give you some context first what
was one to say that standing on a stage
wearing a suit holding a mic let me give
you some context let me take you on a
journey let me set the stage but before
I get carried away I had a very tough
time at the start of the second year of
college I had failed 10 of the 18
credits that I needed for my major it
was your run-of-the-mill science course
made 9 a.m. every day had Gordon knows
how many labs recitations assignments
intervals reports and now at this point
I’m just saying words to make it so much
worse than it actually was
but I have to justify being here you
know in all seriousness though all that
course needed was discipline and I
didn’t have a lot of that as a
first-year at that time I was trying to
do too much was setting very high
standards for myself I had somehow
engrained in my head the idea that I
have to succeed at everything to be
successful college student I have to
play football coach I may have an active
social life run a student group and at
the same time be amazing at academics
and like this I set myself up to fail so
when I did fail those 10 credits I took
it really really hard in my head I was
ashamed I was embarrassed in front of
the people who even though I struggled
with me at some points in that course
had made it through when it mattered the
most I didn’t I was ashamed in front of
my family who I thought I had let down I
started shying away from family Skype
sessions I started shying away from
social gatherings meeting with friends
because in my mind I had that impending
fear that the next topic of discussion
could be me somehow the conversation
could lead there it all got much worse
it got to the point where I started
rescheduling meetings last minute so if
at that time I rescheduled the meeting
this is why I don’t believe that excuse
I started rescheduling meetings last
minute getting out of social gatherings
with my closest friends and day after
day gathering after gathering meeting
after meeting it all got to a point
where I started with struggling to get
out of bed every day in moments like
these in moments like these you need
something drastic you need something
major that makes you take the decision
makes you take the decision to break the
habit which in my opinion is much more
difficult than actually breaking it and
for me it was Alfred telling Batman that
it’s okay see my biggest problem at that
time wasn’t that I had failed it was
that I was struggling with accepting the
fact that I had failed in order to move
on from it and not only did this court
help me do that it gave me a launching
pad I started drawing parallels case one
Batman failed case – I feel case one
Batman succeeded after failing on to
something case two maybe I can do it was
a very hopeful thought at an otherwise
hopeless time and that’s what I kept
telling myself it’s okay and things can
get better it’s okay and things can get
better these are two of the three puzzle
pieces that are used to deal with
failure what’s the third sometimes you
do what you have to do there’s no escape
route no second option no getting out of
it sometimes you do what you have to do
so one of the most impactful storylines
for me is a struggling panicky Iron Man
for those who are not familiar with a
man’s character first of all a
photography missing out big time
secondly he’s supposed to be a very
charismatic smooth charming individual
he actually uses the words genius
billionaire playboy philanthropist
and I have used their dialog many times
shamelessly but imagine someone who’s
supposed to be all of that goes through
something and then struggles with
everyday tasks what does he do well he
struggles he panics he accepts the fact
that he’s struggling continues to strive
for what he has to do doesn’t stray from
his path
imagine a superhero movie in which the
superhero it asks for a rescheduling of
fights doesn’t show up with the final
confrontation I don’t wanna watch that
movie
even if Vic takes me I don’t wanna watch
that I want to watch the movie in which
the superhero takes the fight to the
villain despite his struggles don’t get
me wrong don’t get me wrong I’m not
saying that we minimize our feelings are
not saying that we under player
struggles I’m not saying that we ignore
our difficulties no not at all I’m
saying that we accept them acknowledge
them and try to do what we have to do
despite them a very interesting thing
happened the other day I had to give an
intermediate presentation for my senior
design project and I’m not going to talk
about either the project order or the
presentation nothing interesting about
that whatsoever I want to talk about the
build up the build up to it I was part
of the tenth group to present and during
the first nine presentations I kept
getting anxious kept getting nervous my
first reaction I was questioning myself
why am I getting anxious it’s a low
stakes presentation it’s in front of
people that I know nothing new about
that and it’s not even the final thing
it’s an intermediate presentation so
nothing big why am I getting anxious and
while I was being very successfully
condescending to myself I was trying to
brainstorm the ideal excuse to get out
of their medical logistical anything
that would help me escape the situation
and during that brainstorming session
which wasn’t going that well by the way
a friend recommended I use diary as an
while I was brainstorming all these
excuses I realized what I was doing
wrong I had somehow opened myself up to
the possibility that they the option to
get out of there was one that was viable
and when I realized that first thing I
did I closed that possibility second
thing I did that it let me do was to
accept the way that I was feeling
without looking for any justifications
or reasoning of any kind
third step focus on the presentation
focus on what I’m going to say how I’m
going to say it and get done with it and
I did don’t know how it went I guess
I’ll find out in a few weeks but I went
through with it
I did it because I realized finally that
I had to do it and minded it because he
knew from the start that he had to do it
if I look back at my time before coming
to college my culture and my family
values had a significant effect in
shaping the way I have you failure
failure was something that was dreaded
back home you would be embarrassed
insulted often by your own family it was
their way of knocking some sense into
you but that embarrassment that insult
that shame became part of the norm
became part of your automatic response
to failure and even though I left my
country behind I left my culture behind
to come here I brought those negative
practices with me to NYU Abu Dhabi one
of the most competitive liberal arts
institutions out there and interestingly
enough even though failure even though I
came here and failure was something that
became more feared because the stakes
had finally risen but at the same time
it became more common and that combined
with my negative ways of thinking it
ended up setting it ended up me in a
situation that I was struggling everyday
and in situations like this you need a
nudge you need a push something that
will get you to make the decision that
you have to break the status quo you
have to change the flow of situation and
at this point
watching my favorite superheroes in
moments of vulnerability
in moments of failure that is what did
it for me this might not be the same
thing for you you might need something
else but I really hope there is
something or someone or ideally yourself
that is there to tell you that it’s okay
to fail that even though right now it
might feel like in an overwhelming
fashion that things will not go your way
but they will come a point where things
will start to fall into place and until
you get to that point just keep doing
what you have to do
thank you [Applause]
in this hall right now one who share
motivational course on Facebook all the
time and the first people for doing so I
am part of the first group furs on
Amazon ladies and gentlemen it’s really
nice to see you all here today and I
have a quote for you I have the code for
you today you cannot ignore this
you cannot scroll past this you cannot
see my message but please do not take
this as a challenge and lead to all the
code that I have for you today is why do
we fall so we can learn to pick
ourselves up this is from the first
movie of the NOLA trilogy called Batman
Begins it comes at a very important
point in the movie at a point where
Batman is completely outsmarted by the
movies villain ambush in his own home
and he thinks he has lost things he’s
failing and these are the words that his
his caretaker his partner Alfred says to
him at that time why is this core so
important why is this core so important
to a big fan of one of the most iconic
and badass superheroes
maybe because in this moment I was able
to see the same superhero in a moment of
vulnerability in a moment where he
needed to be told that it’s okay
an old man with no superpowers came up
with arguably the strongest point of the
movie by normalizing failure for Batman
he told him that it’s okay it’s part of
the process even though it might feel
like the end it’s not and that he can
but what did I take away from all of
this all that I just said and more but
let me give you some context first what
was one to say that standing on a stage
wearing a suit holding a mic let me give
you some context let me take you on a
journey let me set the stage but before
I get carried away I had a very tough
time at the start of the second year of
college I had failed 10 of the 18
credits that I needed for my major it
was your run-of-the-mill science course
made 9 a.m. every day had Gordon knows
how many labs recitations assignments
intervals reports and now at this point
I’m just saying words to make it so much
worse than it actually was
but I have to justify being here you
know in all seriousness though all that
course needed was discipline and I
didn’t have a lot of that as a
first-year at that time I was trying to
do too much was setting very high
standards for myself I had somehow
engrained in my head the idea that I
have to succeed at everything to be
successful college student I have to
play football coach I may have an active
social life run a student group and at
the same time be amazing at academics
and like this I set myself up to fail so
when I did fail those 10 credits I took
it really really hard in my head I was
ashamed I was embarrassed in front of
the people who even though I struggled
with me at some points in that course
had made it through when it mattered the
most I didn’t I was ashamed in front of
my family who I thought I had let down I
started shying away from family Skype
sessions I started shying away from
social gatherings meeting with friends
because in my mind I had that impending
fear that the next topic of discussion
could be me somehow the conversation
could lead there it all got much worse
it got to the point where I started
rescheduling meetings last minute so if
at that time I rescheduled the meeting
this is why I don’t believe that excuse
I started rescheduling meetings last
minute getting out of social gatherings
with my closest friends and day after
day gathering after gathering meeting
after meeting it all got to a point
where I started with struggling to get
out of bed every day in moments like
these in moments like these you need
something drastic you need something
major that makes you take the decision
makes you take the decision to break the
habit which in my opinion is much more
difficult than actually breaking it and
for me it was Alfred telling Batman that
it’s okay see my biggest problem at that
time wasn’t that I had failed it was
that I was struggling with accepting the
fact that I had failed in order to move
on from it and not only did this court
help me do that it gave me a launching
pad I started drawing parallels case one
Batman failed case – I feel case one
Batman succeeded after failing on to
something case two maybe I can do it was
a very hopeful thought at an otherwise
hopeless time and that’s what I kept
telling myself it’s okay and things can
get better it’s okay and things can get
better these are two of the three puzzle
pieces that are used to deal with
failure what’s the third sometimes you
do what you have to do there’s no escape
route no second option no getting out of
it sometimes you do what you have to do
so one of the most impactful storylines
for me is a struggling panicky Iron Man
for those who are not familiar with a
man’s character first of all a
photography missing out big time
secondly he’s supposed to be a very
charismatic smooth charming individual
he actually uses the words genius
billionaire playboy philanthropist
and I have used their dialog many times
shamelessly but imagine someone who’s
supposed to be all of that goes through
something and then struggles with
everyday tasks what does he do well he
struggles he panics he accepts the fact
that he’s struggling continues to strive
for what he has to do doesn’t stray from
his path
imagine a superhero movie in which the
superhero it asks for a rescheduling of
fights doesn’t show up with the final
confrontation I don’t wanna watch that
movie
even if Vic takes me I don’t wanna watch
that I want to watch the movie in which
the superhero takes the fight to the
villain despite his struggles don’t get
me wrong don’t get me wrong I’m not
saying that we minimize our feelings are
not saying that we under player
struggles I’m not saying that we ignore
our difficulties no not at all I’m
saying that we accept them acknowledge
them and try to do what we have to do
despite them a very interesting thing
happened the other day I had to give an
intermediate presentation for my senior
design project and I’m not going to talk
about either the project order or the
presentation nothing interesting about
that whatsoever I want to talk about the
build up the build up to it I was part
of the tenth group to present and during
the first nine presentations I kept
getting anxious kept getting nervous my
first reaction I was questioning myself
why am I getting anxious it’s a low
stakes presentation it’s in front of
people that I know nothing new about
that and it’s not even the final thing
it’s an intermediate presentation so
nothing big why am I getting anxious and
while I was being very successfully
condescending to myself I was trying to
brainstorm the ideal excuse to get out
of their medical logistical anything
that would help me escape the situation
and during that brainstorming session
which wasn’t going that well by the way
a friend recommended I use diary as an
while I was brainstorming all these
excuses I realized what I was doing
wrong I had somehow opened myself up to
the possibility that they the option to
get out of there was one that was viable
and when I realized that first thing I
did I closed that possibility second
thing I did that it let me do was to
accept the way that I was feeling
without looking for any justifications
or reasoning of any kind
third step focus on the presentation
focus on what I’m going to say how I’m
going to say it and get done with it and
I did don’t know how it went I guess
I’ll find out in a few weeks but I went
through with it
I did it because I realized finally that
I had to do it and minded it because he
knew from the start that he had to do it
if I look back at my time before coming
to college my culture and my family
values had a significant effect in
shaping the way I have you failure
failure was something that was dreaded
back home you would be embarrassed
insulted often by your own family it was
their way of knocking some sense into
you but that embarrassment that insult
that shame became part of the norm
became part of your automatic response
to failure and even though I left my
country behind I left my culture behind
to come here I brought those negative
practices with me to NYU Abu Dhabi one
of the most competitive liberal arts
institutions out there and interestingly
enough even though failure even though I
came here and failure was something that
became more feared because the stakes
had finally risen but at the same time
it became more common and that combined
with my negative ways of thinking it
ended up setting it ended up me in a
situation that I was struggling everyday
and in situations like this you need a
nudge you need a push something that
will get you to make the decision that
you have to break the status quo you
have to change the flow of situation and
at this point
watching my favorite superheroes in
moments of vulnerability
in moments of failure that is what did
it for me this might not be the same
thing for you you might need something
else but I really hope there is
something or someone or ideally yourself
that is there to tell you that it’s okay
to fail that even though right now it
might feel like in an overwhelming
fashion that things will not go your way
but they will come a point where things
will start to fall into place and until
you get to that point just keep doing
what you have to do
thank you [Applause]
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