well here’s a reminder of what we need
to know and that’s to know who we are
the unique person that we were born as
no apologies move forward with that
inner truth and then you’ll be abuse to
yourselves nevermind countless others
here’s a kid in the picture with me who
was already in dance class it took me a
long time to get there and dance was and
is my passion see I was a different kid
I was not like the other boys certainly
not like my older brother or younger
brother I liked all the things girls
liked okay I had dolls I’m admitting it
you know and I played with them and I
love them I didn’t want to climb trees I
didn’t want to dig holes I wanted to
redecorate the living room I’m not
kidding and I did often and over again
because I had the coolest mother in the
world she was my best friend she said to
me hey so so you’re different you’re not
like the other boys God made you this
way she prayed a lot I liked her God she
said embrace it go forward she was so
wonderful she was heroic I would say she
was heroic so I felt empowered in her
company my father through a bit of a
wrench in the mix he felt the need to
change me unknowingly this wasn’t a good
thing I mean I think he was a good man
he just was really not good at being a
father for the middle different boy he
tore the baseball bat out of my hand he
tore the paintbrush out of my hand no
you know stomped away and unknowingly he
was teaching me to doubt myself and not
only that but to be afraid and that’s
not cool because kids have very open
clean fertile hard drives it’s not all
cluttered with adult junk yet so things
take and they take and they take a lot
of space my mother’s treatment she
taught me how to treat other people
because it felt so good and as I said I
was empowered I couldn’t wait to treat
other people that way my father’s
treatment confused me shall we say but
it wasn’t a bad family you know for
instance we did things together we went
to the Yankee Stadium off and I hated
that my brother’s loved it I hated it at
the end of the ninth inning I would say
oh god it’s a tie just shoot me if it
was a duck if it was a double-header I
said okay so my life is over right now
I’ll take care of it but we also watched
the ed sullivan show every sunday night
do young people know what that is or was
okay didn’t think so it was a variety
show and all kinds of talent were on it
and it was a black-and-white TV of
course in those days in the 50s the dark
ages but that was my first exposure to
the Performing Arts and I was blown away
by all those different shapes and sizes
of people and ages and colors all with
these unique talents paying it forward
passing it on and as a result millions
of people watching had needs fulfilled
in some cases needs we weren’t aware we
had until we laughed so hard had that
feeling afterwards and in my case
touched and moved by the dance because
they were communicating without speaking
and without words in my case I wouldn’t
be told stop talking like that you sound
like a girl from my father were left at
from the kids in eighth grade I saw a
high school production of a show called
Guys and Dolls I changed my life again
now those aliens third three planets
away on the black and white TV that
like-minded village of talented
different people were within reach it
was in color
was live music and it was my high school
so I could be a part of that village
perhaps and admit to myself who I knew I
was by high school I had the courage to
audition for whatever that show was
going to be and it was Brigadoon and I
auditioned courageously and they made me
a dancer now in 15 have no dance
training but have such a passion to be a
part of this village and now I’m in it
saw it on TV saw it from an audience and
now I’m in it and it changed my life
again I thought these are the people
that I will someday admit to myself who
I am I’ll have that courage and I’m
getting closer the choreographer and the
director came to me towards the end of
the run and they said you know you’re
pretty good but you’re old you’re 15
you’ve got to start ballet it’s the
foundation it’s the cement poor to build
any dance form on top of that’s all I
needed to hear mom ballet of course my
heroine she’s on the phone within two
days I’m taking two ballet classes a
week now I’m closer yet to finding my
purpose because this art form this pure
silent angelic art form communicating
without words was a strife for
perfection as Lincoln kirstine a famous
man look him up said in a world where
there is no such thing and there wasn’t
perfection in my life and I thought this
is a good goal I’ll sweep the floor in a
ballet I’ll take notes well yeah there
was a typewriter in those days oh I’ll
pull the curtain whatever it takes it
wasn’t long however before the bullying
started and i’m not going to go into
detail about that subject but i won’t
downplay how hideous it is and the
hideousness of my own experience so the
comments I used to get were louder there
were more of them they were uglier and
then the physical kicked in but those
efforts of those kids their knee
they’re misguided need to paralyze me as
a human being backfired because however
shaky my purpose was that I found to be
a dancer led me and it made me not upset
didn’t freeze me made me angry mom help
me find a school turns out New York City
was 20 miles from our home now on those
aliens on TV on another planet were
actually 20 miles away she helped me
find a school in New York where I could
finish high school and a group of of
young kids who were professionals who
wouldn’t laugh at me I started ballet
lessons now twice a day because I had a
lot of catching up to do I received a
scholarship at the Joffrey school and
they gave me special attention and it
was awesome and then I started attending
performances all over New York seeing
dance live blown away and then I saw the
New York City Ballet and that spoke to
me more so than any other dance company
that I had seen this was the strive for
perfection at Lincoln kirsteen spoke
about this was order this was it was so
pure there there are no words and I
thought that is the stage I will mop
that is the curtain I will pull I thumb
through the program who’s who’s the
architect of this George Balanchine one
of the most famous names in the history
of valet does he have a school School of
American Ballet off I went after a year
of the Joffrey I auditioned now I’m
really old I’m 16 1 year 4 months of
dance they said to me well you know you
can move but guess wat year old they
gave me a scholarship as luck would have
it this was like an international
airport this school compared to the
private Airport of Joffrey a lot of
special attention their golden boy right
so I thought now I’ve got teachers from
all over the world most of whom
speak languages I don’t understand and
tons of kids with tons of talent all
younger than me no snow special help no
take Steven aside sink or swim time
learned fast how do I figure this out
and keep up so I scrutinized the dancers
who struggled but then achieved and then
I watched the naturals and blown away
like how are they doing that but most
importantly company members came in and
they were sort of like hot messes at the
bar it’s like who’s that and they would
say that’s so and so and then I saw the
transformation to superhuman on the
stage and I thought wow I think I know I
learned most from them now two years
went by at this school and George
Balanchine himself called one day and he
said I need a boy I want the Greek boy
he had found out my last name was of
Greek origin I need him now I was 18 i
look like that that was me at 18 the
teachers at the school said oh no no no
he needs more classes he’ll fall by the
wayside Valentin said I have other plans
two days later I was in my first company
class with the thoroughbreds that I
admired 75 of them I shook I sweated i
dripped I quivered I did everything but
the steps now my father would have
marched away and probably said he’s not
ready that kind of thing was in my head
I had this fear of failure because of
that influence my mother would have said
you’re a winner Balanchine turned me
around to face his dancers to introduce
them to me me to them and he said this
is our new Greek boy everyone we will
make him strong and what he was doing
was assigning his thoroughbreds the
responsibility to get beyond the grade I
and and address a need help me pay
forward your information your knowledge
your
technique and lead me along with him and
there he is demonstrating and reaching
for me and a 47 years older than the
rest of us he’s in the position none of
us would ever achieve he was a
remarkable example Center not just
physically the next 14 years I flew all
over the world not as high as everyone
else was I great now was I scared often
did I love it more than I can explain I
learned very quickly I had studied piano
when I was young so they threw me into a
lot of ballets that I wouldn’t have been
good enough for but time is money in the
ballet world 30 minutes who’s going to
do it well Karis learns fast well you’re
not quite ready I got these parts you
see Stephen Karis I thought it looked
more important to spell my name with a
pH then but what happened was when i was
in to dance with three it was a ph when
they smooshed me in a big mob scene it
was with Abby so I looked like a split
personality which I was at this point so
I said just go with the V eventually so
this was life couldn’t have been more
perfect I had fulfilled that need I’m
dancing in this great company after
three years of training but when I’m not
facing is the elephant in my room this
is me with my back to myself my
homosexuality there I said it I’m gay my
mother would have said had we used that
word then you want to redecorate the
living room again how gay is that but of
course she knew I was different we
didn’t speak that way it was a whole
different time I had to think in terms
of someone else’s needs finally besides
my own it was a really selfish 25 years
I have to say in many ways I had a
girlfriend for years a beautiful dancer
my best friend in the company she had a
need she needed to hear the truth so she
could move on so I spoke to her about it
and it was hard but it was a relief and
then I spoke to mr. Balanchine about it
I said you know there’s a guy on a
company
is a best friend and he’s in a
partnership but I woke up realizing this
is not going to go away like a pimple or
a cold I’m gay I have to I don’t know
how to deal with this I I don’t had a
big I just AM so he said take some time
off all right he recognized that need he
didn’t say go away my father might have
so during that period I told my mother I
figured my best friend had to know and I
said mom I guess I’m going to have to be
a Democrat now because we were
Republican because I think all gay
people are Democrats how smart was I at
25 and she’s crying this is something
your father and I did isn’t that and
said no I think I can live with a
maggoty it’s just so small a part of a
big life mom she said no no no not that
are you sure you’re a Democrat she was
more concerned with that so the phone
rang nine months later was Balanchine I
need you can you come back to needs for
me to fill a small place in a giant
purpose from him and I was back and
loving it with a great sense of relief
two years go by donizetti comes back in
the repertory I’m not in it I’m not even
called to it I asked mr. Balanchine
respectfully is there any reason why I’m
not in it I think I’m a better dancer
you know it’s like nine years later now
so what am I yeah what it do they have
27 maybe he said no no no no don’t take
it personally I need to see new faces
now you’ve danced it enough so he’s
telling me think in terms of someone
else you might have come out you might
have been a little less selfish with
your girlfriend now think about the next
generation so it was tough but it was an
eye-opener wife after dance dance shelf
life without this big an artist painter
right musician dancer the good news in
all this well you see that that’s like a
young face see that’s a picture i took
of a boy at the school who’s ready to
join the company or ready to dance in
Donizetti
and this is what I was once and I had to
think in terms of their needs as well
but things were handleable because I now
lived with that very man who was my best
friend no longer in that relationship
and life was a complete perfect relief I
didn’t have to apologize i didn’t have
to hold my breath i was living as myself
finally and complete but he was so
supportive he said you know you gotta
you need a hobby you’re so blinded by
ballet you got to think in terms of what
else you like by that used camera that
you love I said you know what I will do
that so what did i do i bought the
camera and i started fooling around with
it my first lunch break with my camera
at the theater Balanchine noticed first
and he said he liked taking pictures and
I said yeah but I can figure out how to
work this machine he said well
experiment on us how generous was that
so I did I started taking this was a
this was a very very generous gesture
because it was only one person allowed
to photograph the New York City Ballet
it was a private world a company
photographer named Martha swope who had
been a trained dancer so he said you
show me everything I want to see what
you see how very generous so I’m
photographing and I’m learning and I’m
getting better and I’m showing him
pictures and a year later marth is not
available and the New York Times needs a
photo to accompany a review and
balancing without hesitation said send
the Greek boy I had I had an assignment
more importantly I had a need for him
finally another way to give back filling
a little hole in a big organization in a
court of ballet was great and important
but now a specific need for a newspaper
and for the New York City Ballet maybe
this can lead to more of that and it did
so over time this was so exciting I took
more and more pictures and I showed him
more in his guidance it with me as a
photographer was as critically essential
as his teaching was in dance he had that
great or
I and I found myself after about five
years juggling two real full-time
careers New York City Ballet wanted my
pictures and they needed me on the stage
Here I am taking pictures from the wings
because oftentimes I was in a costume
and photographing for them something
that happened right before or after I
danced here i am dancing and here’s one
of my photographs of Baryshnikov the
famous Russian dancer now I’d love to
say that’s a self-portrait but it is not
and then in 1983 mr. Balanchine passed
away he was 79 and we were like a ship
without a captain literally we hit a
brick wall we were devastated but I
heard a message from him hang up the
dance shoes Karis 14 years on the stage
is plenty there’s a need for you here
and elsewhere it’s called photos and
it’s about supplying the needs for these
companies so they can sell tickets and
promote their organizations and build
audiences so that’s what I did and I
traveled and I photographed dance
companies all over the country and the
world at some points and they started to
ask me to teach ballet and I thought
really I have all this information in me
now I guess I do and it was reminiscent
right away of mr. Balanchine telling his
his thoroughbreds to help this novice
this green boy all those years ago and I
thought how could I say no to this so
the teaching was inspiring and I had
more information in me that I realized
and this led to ballet master work do we
know what that is it’s like a conductor
of rehearsals and classes for an entire
company so I joined other ballet masters
in two different dance companies and we
work directly with dancers that sees
that is it frozen yeah and we were
responsible to train them in the morning
teach them their roles and make sure
they were in their places every night on
stage and it was awesome so 12 years of
this learning more I promise you the way
teachers here might learn more
their students I certainly learned more
from them and then I was invited to be
the director of development that’s a
fundraiser that’s a person responsible
for for raising money for an
organization a major ballet company and
I thought how can I possibly learn how
to do that egg strangers for money write
grants design galas and events where do
I come with those qualifications I don’t
understand that then I thought longer
and harder about it and this is an
organization asking me to be sort of a
voice of Pied Piper of sorts you know
messenger to raise awareness and
financial support to keep a healthy roof
over the head of the very art form that
changed my life and gave me a safe haven
to come out as a gay man and support in
the process could I say no to that what
made me afraid the most was public
speaking this I thought how can I open
my mouth in public and not hear my
father saying be quiet you sound like a
girl where the laughter and the Snickers
of the kids I had a hard time with it I
needed to gain my sea legs however
because the cause was enormous and the
need for me was it was so critical so
over time just like in dance I was a
little less shaky and I went on the road
as it were begging folks for money to
keep this beloved art form alive and
well there’s a picture of me two years
ago only minorly nervous compared to the
two years before of my photographic
archive there are over a hundred and
twenty thousand images that I’ve taken
in forty plus years this is my favorite
that’s mr. balanchine’s last bow it’s
1982 he died eight months later the New
York Times said about this picture the
most famous picture in the history of
dance has no one dancing in it
and I paraphrase but boy that was a nice
compliment but it’s true what you see
here is a great man my mentor and the
mentor of many others with a loving
family of dancers behind him obviously
the sense of a loving audience in front
of him but here’s also what you can see
here’s a man that was forced to leave
his own country I left New Jersey they
whoop okay I crossed a bridge he left a
country a country that was determined to
manipulate him as an artist and as a man
he wouldn’t turn back as a result he
became George Balanchine built a great
school built a great company and a
repertory of ballets impossible to
describe by the greatest writer you have
to witness them to understand and to
benefit all this because he followed his
heart he didn’t compromise he had
beautiful wives and loves and romances
and created this world that we all
benefit from as a result millions are
enhanced by his work then today and
forever into the future you guys there
are plenty of needs out there once we
clean this act up I’m clean with
ourselves we can recognize how we can do
the best for others right the benefits
are enormous and like Balanchine ballets
impossible to put into words you just
have to experience them so thank you everyone and let’s dance on shall we