[Music]
hello I’m glacial erratic I’m gonna play
you a little song about how I interact
with technology in my life on a daily
my wife says Dave can you take a picture
and I’m like sure but my phone says your
storage is full you can manage your
storage in settings and I’m like hang on
a sec guys I gotta delete some photos
hey babe do we still need this video
from last year aw
screw it I’m gonna delete it okay
everybody can you sing happy birthday
one more time so I can catch it and can
you blow out those candles again oh no
my storage is full again
and everybody
[Music]
I got a deal eight more photos
I might even delete a couple apps here
just hold that thought I know my phone
just died and my brother-in-law always
says you know you can just get an iCloud
subscription for like a dollar
ninety-nine a month and I’m like I know
you always say that but that sounds
complicated now probably this video to
my wife says Dave wanna watch a movie
tonight and I’m like sure that’d be
awesome
the kids went to bed early tonight and
we’ve got about a half hour before we
both pass out from exhaustion but my
iPad says this device does not support
the latest fur
kind of Netflix you need to upgrade your
operating system and you can do this in
settings you need to upgrade to iOS but
there’s not enough storage for iOS and
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Music]
oh yeah I never thought the VCR was
really all that inconvenient
first of all I just want to say it’s
wonderful to be here
TEDx thank you Chris for putting on such
a great afternoon it’s wonderful to see
so many familiar faces what a
good-looking Bunch
this is a bit of a sad song it’s more of
a personal memoir about how far I’ve
sometimes I walk around my empty house
empty because my wife’s at work and my
kids are at school and I pick things off
the floor think I pick up things off the
floor and that’s not a metaphor I pick
things up and I look down at my tired
and I notice I’m holding one piece of
Lego one doll out fit a brat
a screw
and maybe in underwear
and I think to myself it’s gonna take me
at least eight minutes to put all these
and as I’m driving my minivan I’m
thinking even if I wanted to close the
door on my minivan if I wanted to close
my kid’s door on my minivan myself I
couldn’t I’d have to press a button
this song addresses some deeper
questions
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
why does grass only grow on my driveway
and not on my lawn I use Scotts Turf
[Music]
why do none of these Tupperware bottoms
have any matching Tupperware
I thought I just organized this drawer
we’re all in the end
my kids are late for school
you know what glad and Tupperware and
ziplock and Rubbermaid why can’t you get
together come up with the universal size
of Tupperware this lid almost fits but
it totally doesn’t fit and stuff is
gonna spill out of it and an elastic
band just doesn’t do the trick
especially not if I’m packing yogurt
this next verse is a little bit more of
an admission I feel like I’m just baring
my soul now so I might as well just be
honest and tell you how I really feel
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
sometimes I wanna drag my dishwasher out
into the backyard and beat it with a
baseball bat that frickin thing is
useless you know what Samsung your
feature called censor clean technologies
it totally doesn’t work
[Music]
I don’t care if I can operate my
dishwasher from my smartphone
I just want clean dishes I just walking
dishes
I just wanted a
just
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music] thank you thank you very much
hello I’m glacial erratic I’m gonna play
you a little song about how I interact
with technology in my life on a daily
my wife says Dave can you take a picture
and I’m like sure but my phone says your
storage is full you can manage your
storage in settings and I’m like hang on
a sec guys I gotta delete some photos
hey babe do we still need this video
from last year aw
screw it I’m gonna delete it okay
everybody can you sing happy birthday
one more time so I can catch it and can
you blow out those candles again oh no
my storage is full again
and everybody
[Music]
I got a deal eight more photos
I might even delete a couple apps here
just hold that thought I know my phone
just died and my brother-in-law always
says you know you can just get an iCloud
subscription for like a dollar
ninety-nine a month and I’m like I know
you always say that but that sounds
complicated now probably this video to
my wife says Dave wanna watch a movie
tonight and I’m like sure that’d be
awesome
the kids went to bed early tonight and
we’ve got about a half hour before we
both pass out from exhaustion but my
iPad says this device does not support
the latest fur
kind of Netflix you need to upgrade your
operating system and you can do this in
settings you need to upgrade to iOS but
there’s not enough storage for iOS and
[Music]
[Laughter]
[Music]
oh yeah I never thought the VCR was
really all that inconvenient
first of all I just want to say it’s
wonderful to be here
TEDx thank you Chris for putting on such
a great afternoon it’s wonderful to see
so many familiar faces what a
good-looking Bunch
this is a bit of a sad song it’s more of
a personal memoir about how far I’ve
sometimes I walk around my empty house
empty because my wife’s at work and my
kids are at school and I pick things off
the floor think I pick up things off the
floor and that’s not a metaphor I pick
things up and I look down at my tired
and I notice I’m holding one piece of
Lego one doll out fit a brat
a screw
and maybe in underwear
and I think to myself it’s gonna take me
at least eight minutes to put all these
and as I’m driving my minivan I’m
thinking even if I wanted to close the
door on my minivan if I wanted to close
my kid’s door on my minivan myself I
couldn’t I’d have to press a button
this song addresses some deeper
questions
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
why does grass only grow on my driveway
and not on my lawn I use Scotts Turf
[Music]
why do none of these Tupperware bottoms
have any matching Tupperware
I thought I just organized this drawer
we’re all in the end
my kids are late for school
you know what glad and Tupperware and
ziplock and Rubbermaid why can’t you get
together come up with the universal size
of Tupperware this lid almost fits but
it totally doesn’t fit and stuff is
gonna spill out of it and an elastic
band just doesn’t do the trick
especially not if I’m packing yogurt
this next verse is a little bit more of
an admission I feel like I’m just baring
my soul now so I might as well just be
honest and tell you how I really feel
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
sometimes I wanna drag my dishwasher out
into the backyard and beat it with a
baseball bat that frickin thing is
useless you know what Samsung your
feature called censor clean technologies
it totally doesn’t work
[Music]
I don’t care if I can operate my
dishwasher from my smartphone
I just want clean dishes I just walking
dishes
I just wanted a
just
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music] thank you thank you very much
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