grief is a funny thing not in a haha
kind of way or a slapstick comedy kind
of way where I step on a banana and
sleep and everybody laughs but grief is
funny in a sense that’s never the same
it’s always subjective it’s always
unique it’s always mine and it’s always
yours and it’s okay but the thing is
that when we see something different
what we do or what we are experiencing
we tend to reject it we tend to deem it
in a brokerage and maybe sometimes even
wrong this is very typical when it comes
to mourning online for example in my PhD
study I investigated why where and how
people more online and I came across
this very deep-rooted stereotype over
and over again it came across in my
interviews in the survey answers and
even in media stereotype this morning
online is not real morning it’s a little
fake it’s at a less than on line morning
an offline morning and the thing is that
we turn to these kind of stereotypes
when we’re trying to seek explanation
when you’re trying to find now why these
people are truly doing different things
that we do and stereotypes aren’t easy
and kind of convenient way to put people
and things into categories need a little
boxes according to this box morning
online it’s not real morning when
somebody dies automation kicks in return
to rituals because rituals they help us
know what to do they tell us how to
dispose your body
they tell us how we’re with whom and how
we can remember and honor somebody they
tell us what happens during a funeral or
even one what we want to do doing
anniversaries I’m going to tell you a
little story for my fieldwork I did a
lot of fieldwork in different social
media websites from Facebook to YouTube
from to Twitter but I also wanted to
investigate virtual worlds and online
gaming environments Second Life was one
part of my research it’s not a game in a
similar sense that water war practice
but their gaming experience usually
comes from role-playing and there’s a
lot of growth in communities in Second
Life it’s a virtual world
well where basically anything and
anybody is possible even companies have
used it for virtual meetings between
their employees and even universities
have used it for of virtual lectures
with their students but in this case I
wanted to investigate the kind of areas
in the virtual world that people were
paying respects and remembering the
memory of their loved ones I came across
a role-playing community group of pro
players and they were playing this
role-playing story based on the fantasy
novels by author john norman and the
fantasy story was based on this kind of
gorian philosophy where there’s a lot of
master/slave relationships between
people and lots of hierarchy dynamics
all of the characters in the
role-playing story have important role
in carrying out the overall story and
these people Nadya
Anjali and Peter Allen they didn’t know
before each other beforehand very well
but they all knew a character named Yuki
Yuki
yuppies real name was yoculan she was
born in 1983 and she lived in Hong Kong
she was suffering from bone cancer which
basically meant that she was bound to a
hospital bed most of our time second
life was her escape in a sense it was
her way to experience life people and
anything in a way that was impossible
because her illness nadia often referred
to yuki as a lovable brat because her
character was this feral child like a
wild child who lived in what woods did
not speak but grunted most of the time
and she was always kind of playing these
small pranks to people and kind of like
a Miss misfit and she was much loved in
the community she died in 2008 because
of her bone cancer before she died she
was undergoing a heart surgery and she
was kind of fearing the moment that the
worst case scenario would happen she
wrote letters to her second life friends
that would be sent to her friends as a
farewell and as a thank-you for all of
their time that they had to spend
together the worst case scenario
happened she died when the letters were
sent to her friends Anjali experienced
the loss of Yuki the heaviest she told
me in our interviews that she often felt
that she was like a mentor to Yuki or
even like a mother because they often
shared details about their hopes and
dreams and lives outside of second life
and Yuki always told about her plans
what she would do when she would get
better
she really hoped and believed that she
would get better eventually so when you
get tired anjali created a memorial
inside Second Life the world is built in
a sense that you can actually mold
the world in a way not in a way that you
do in regular gaming worlds but because
this is a virtual world where you can
add forests and lakes and buildings even
and you can create the space in a sense
that it’s your own and Anjali was
responsible of creating and maintaining
this role-playing area and there was
this cave that was Yuki’s character’s
home so every known thing when Anjali
had the opportunity to make
modifications in the world she could
have left it out she could have let it
go but she couldn’t because it was the
only concrete thing still reminding her
about Yuki so she decided to make a
memorial for Yuki it’s made in a shape
of our grave like a small dirt mound
with a headstone at the end yes it’s a
symbolic of memorial that it’s
recognizable for everybody who visit the
space on purpose or accidentally that
this somebody’s buried here I although
it’s symbolic oh but these kind of
symbolic hole memorials we recognize
more often we recognize them from
offline world such as the Tomb of the
Unknown Soldier that is the most
recognizable symbolical memorial that we
have it doesn’t have the actual physical
remains of anybody but it’s still a
symbolical memorial that is culturally
and commonly shared concept since Second
Life it’s possible to remember in a more
multimedia tway Anjali was able to add a
slide show indicate as well so this
light show was displaying pictures of
Yuki’s life inside and outside of Second
Life as well when Anjali lost her actual
parents she thought that okay I already
have this space in Second Life where I
go every now and then
and pay rest respects and remember Yuki
and if she decided that she would like
to have the memory of her parents in the
same space as well so eventually their
memorial cave became like a angeles
family crypt where she could go and
remember and honor the people that meant
a lot to her both offline and online now
let’s go back to the stereotype that I
mentioned in the beginning morning
online is not real morning it’s a little
fake right the thing is that this type
of attitude usually comes from people
were not experiencing grief at the
moment they haven’t lost somebody
recently so this type of experience of
sharing your emotions and your loss
online feels a little alien it feels
different and it feels odd we have now
digitalized almost every single aspect
of our lives from our leisure to our
work we share so much details and so
much emotions already online from birth
and now to death we share joy we share
cat memes which had the pictures of our
meals selfies even bell face so much
content and death is the final frontier
of this development it is something that
is naturally evolving from the way we
use this technology so I argue that
morning online it is real morning it
doesn’t matter which kind of tool we are
using it doesn’t really matter if you’re
we feel lighting an actual candle or on
virtual candle because the intention
behind it it’s the same for all we still
want to light candles we still want to
visit the places that remind us of our
loved ones we still want to keep the
items that remind us of
once where there is a text message
whether it’s perfume whether it’s
furniture whether it’s a facebook
profile page there are still digital
items which are important to us because
they enable us to keep a connection they
keep us remembering and they enable us
to share so eventually if this
technology is with us long enough we
will all mourn and honor
online I will you will and that grief
it’s not baked
[Applause]
[Music]
kind of way or a slapstick comedy kind
of way where I step on a banana and
sleep and everybody laughs but grief is
funny in a sense that’s never the same
it’s always subjective it’s always
unique it’s always mine and it’s always
yours and it’s okay but the thing is
that when we see something different
what we do or what we are experiencing
we tend to reject it we tend to deem it
in a brokerage and maybe sometimes even
wrong this is very typical when it comes
to mourning online for example in my PhD
study I investigated why where and how
people more online and I came across
this very deep-rooted stereotype over
and over again it came across in my
interviews in the survey answers and
even in media stereotype this morning
online is not real morning it’s a little
fake it’s at a less than on line morning
an offline morning and the thing is that
we turn to these kind of stereotypes
when we’re trying to seek explanation
when you’re trying to find now why these
people are truly doing different things
that we do and stereotypes aren’t easy
and kind of convenient way to put people
and things into categories need a little
boxes according to this box morning
online it’s not real morning when
somebody dies automation kicks in return
to rituals because rituals they help us
know what to do they tell us how to
dispose your body
they tell us how we’re with whom and how
we can remember and honor somebody they
tell us what happens during a funeral or
even one what we want to do doing
anniversaries I’m going to tell you a
little story for my fieldwork I did a
lot of fieldwork in different social
media websites from Facebook to YouTube
from to Twitter but I also wanted to
investigate virtual worlds and online
gaming environments Second Life was one
part of my research it’s not a game in a
similar sense that water war practice
but their gaming experience usually
comes from role-playing and there’s a
lot of growth in communities in Second
Life it’s a virtual world
well where basically anything and
anybody is possible even companies have
used it for virtual meetings between
their employees and even universities
have used it for of virtual lectures
with their students but in this case I
wanted to investigate the kind of areas
in the virtual world that people were
paying respects and remembering the
memory of their loved ones I came across
a role-playing community group of pro
players and they were playing this
role-playing story based on the fantasy
novels by author john norman and the
fantasy story was based on this kind of
gorian philosophy where there’s a lot of
master/slave relationships between
people and lots of hierarchy dynamics
all of the characters in the
role-playing story have important role
in carrying out the overall story and
these people Nadya
Anjali and Peter Allen they didn’t know
before each other beforehand very well
but they all knew a character named Yuki
Yuki
yuppies real name was yoculan she was
born in 1983 and she lived in Hong Kong
she was suffering from bone cancer which
basically meant that she was bound to a
hospital bed most of our time second
life was her escape in a sense it was
her way to experience life people and
anything in a way that was impossible
because her illness nadia often referred
to yuki as a lovable brat because her
character was this feral child like a
wild child who lived in what woods did
not speak but grunted most of the time
and she was always kind of playing these
small pranks to people and kind of like
a Miss misfit and she was much loved in
the community she died in 2008 because
of her bone cancer before she died she
was undergoing a heart surgery and she
was kind of fearing the moment that the
worst case scenario would happen she
wrote letters to her second life friends
that would be sent to her friends as a
farewell and as a thank-you for all of
their time that they had to spend
together the worst case scenario
happened she died when the letters were
sent to her friends Anjali experienced
the loss of Yuki the heaviest she told
me in our interviews that she often felt
that she was like a mentor to Yuki or
even like a mother because they often
shared details about their hopes and
dreams and lives outside of second life
and Yuki always told about her plans
what she would do when she would get
better
she really hoped and believed that she
would get better eventually so when you
get tired anjali created a memorial
inside Second Life the world is built in
a sense that you can actually mold
the world in a way not in a way that you
do in regular gaming worlds but because
this is a virtual world where you can
add forests and lakes and buildings even
and you can create the space in a sense
that it’s your own and Anjali was
responsible of creating and maintaining
this role-playing area and there was
this cave that was Yuki’s character’s
home so every known thing when Anjali
had the opportunity to make
modifications in the world she could
have left it out she could have let it
go but she couldn’t because it was the
only concrete thing still reminding her
about Yuki so she decided to make a
memorial for Yuki it’s made in a shape
of our grave like a small dirt mound
with a headstone at the end yes it’s a
symbolic of memorial that it’s
recognizable for everybody who visit the
space on purpose or accidentally that
this somebody’s buried here I although
it’s symbolic oh but these kind of
symbolic hole memorials we recognize
more often we recognize them from
offline world such as the Tomb of the
Unknown Soldier that is the most
recognizable symbolical memorial that we
have it doesn’t have the actual physical
remains of anybody but it’s still a
symbolical memorial that is culturally
and commonly shared concept since Second
Life it’s possible to remember in a more
multimedia tway Anjali was able to add a
slide show indicate as well so this
light show was displaying pictures of
Yuki’s life inside and outside of Second
Life as well when Anjali lost her actual
parents she thought that okay I already
have this space in Second Life where I
go every now and then
and pay rest respects and remember Yuki
and if she decided that she would like
to have the memory of her parents in the
same space as well so eventually their
memorial cave became like a angeles
family crypt where she could go and
remember and honor the people that meant
a lot to her both offline and online now
let’s go back to the stereotype that I
mentioned in the beginning morning
online is not real morning it’s a little
fake right the thing is that this type
of attitude usually comes from people
were not experiencing grief at the
moment they haven’t lost somebody
recently so this type of experience of
sharing your emotions and your loss
online feels a little alien it feels
different and it feels odd we have now
digitalized almost every single aspect
of our lives from our leisure to our
work we share so much details and so
much emotions already online from birth
and now to death we share joy we share
cat memes which had the pictures of our
meals selfies even bell face so much
content and death is the final frontier
of this development it is something that
is naturally evolving from the way we
use this technology so I argue that
morning online it is real morning it
doesn’t matter which kind of tool we are
using it doesn’t really matter if you’re
we feel lighting an actual candle or on
virtual candle because the intention
behind it it’s the same for all we still
want to light candles we still want to
visit the places that remind us of our
loved ones we still want to keep the
items that remind us of
once where there is a text message
whether it’s perfume whether it’s
furniture whether it’s a facebook
profile page there are still digital
items which are important to us because
they enable us to keep a connection they
keep us remembering and they enable us
to share so eventually if this
technology is with us long enough we
will all mourn and honor
online I will you will and that grief
it’s not baked
[Applause]
[Music]
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