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Mind Your Business: Master Performances | Alex Niyazov | TEDxCUNY


how’s everybody doing today perfect
let’s start with a warm-up first bring
your hands out hands out palms facing
down palms facing away from each other
palms facing each other away from each
other again keep doing that it’s like
the Macarena right away from each other
again
take your right hand hold it over your
left perfect that’s only if you’re ready
so if your left you switch real quick
there you go I can see we got a bunch of
lefties if you’re a lefty you hold over
just like that grab on and hold tight
tight tight tight tight tight hands up a
little bit higher perfect we’ll do your
pinkies your index fingers your thumbs
you want to know how that works no no do
you want to know how that works let’s
bring up the energy over here come on
hands out let’s do it again
on account of one two three will clap
one two three I’ll at the same time
please again one two three no no one two
three
there you go out one two three there you
go out one two three keep going keep
going keep going faster faster faster
faster faster thank you very much my
name is Alex Vause have a good day who
what is your name yes Laura are you
asking me are you telling me Laura Laura
catch hold on to that we’ll know what it
is later there are 52 cards in a deck
does anybody know why because there are
52 weeks in a year
oh there are red cards and there are
black cards that’s for day and night we
have four suits we have four seasons in
the year we also have thirteen court
cards for 13 lunar cycles if we take a
SAS one two three four five six seven
eight nine ten Jack as the eleven Queen
as 12 and King gets 13 you add all of
them up you know what you get no 364 but
of course we have the Joker for the 365
days in a year and then we have another
Joker for the leap year 366 days in year
but who cares about the history of
playing cards right let’s get to the
so who can help me out over here let’s
get a gentleman you sir what is your
name Patrick give a round of applause to
Patrick right over here is good right in
the front you can stand right over here
Patrick Patrick there’s about 52 cards
over here do me a favor grab ahold of
this do you know how to shuffle you’re
gonna do it right now so shuffle it up
there you go perfect
whenever you’re ready don’t let me
influence you in any way but stop right
there
I’m joking keep going keep going Patrick
keep going yes keep going and whenever
you ready I’ll take them perfect no
particular order Patrick no as I go
through you’re gonna say stop and then
you’ll remember that card got it
but don’t remember actually let’s make
this simple so you don’t mess up we’ll
put a joker right in the front so as I
let’s do it again Patrick let’s do it
again I went through the whole deck
Patrick let’s do it again
ready right yeah take a look at that
card got it
remember it don’t tell anyone
Patrick thank you very much you could go
back to your seat give it up for patch
with you guys who has a hair tie
does anybody have a hair tie yes throw
there you go either pass it up or throw
it up whatever you want to do I got to
make sure to catch it under send ready
please please please perfect we’re not
taking any risks
very good I’m going to tie this up so we
have the deck with a rubber band and
what the hair tie of course I’m gonna
throw the deck if you catch it I want
you to stand up look at one card
remember it and then close the pack
ready who has it
perfect very good what is your name
Esther please stand up
Esther see one card peek inside one card
don’t take it out just see it got it
close the pack throw it behind you there
you go now of course the reason we have
a rubber band that and a headband that
is because in case it falls the cars
don’t this mantle right same thing what
is your name
samaya please see one card perfectly and
throw it to the left
there you go or in bad either way it
works
stand up please whoever has it what is
your name dance same thinks he won card
in the middle and Dan let’s let’s make
this even throw it somewhere on this end
there you go very good perfect stand up
whoever catches it stand up stand up
what is your name I’ll see one card
same thing see one card inside what is
your name what is it wrong perfect see
one card inside you got one okay keep
standing who ever saw a card stand up
how many who do we have we have one two
three four five six perfect let’s bring
up the deck to the front let’s give
no no keep standing keep standing gonna
sit down keep standing keep standing
pass on the deck pass on the tech if you
get the deck just pass it onto the front
until I get it there’s what’s gonna
happen in a moment I’m gonna name your
cards but pokerface
if I get it don’t make any reactions so
feet together hands out of the pockets
next to each other
perfect close your eyes if you hear your
car don’t say anything just acknowledge
it I’ll ask you afterwards two of
diamonds six of spades eight of hearts
queen of diamonds King of clubs open up
your eyes Esther I named your card
didn’t I have a seat hold the applause
samaya I named your card didn’t I yes
have a seat al I named your card didn’t
I have a seat long I named your card
why are you looking at me I got your
card did I get your card no keep
standing there’s always one by the way
then I named your card yes have a seat I
did not name your card
are you sure look at me I’m gonna try to
get it Jack of Diamonds
I had the Jack of Diamonds here and I
know that was your card because this is
the wild card give him a big round of
applause who has the baton is what I
call you do Laura right come on up Lord
give it around encouragement please
Laura up the staircase please come on up
come on up come on up perfect and stand
right here over to my right very good
Lauren do you like to read yes what do
action books was the last time we were
in a library
Wednesday oh wow
awesome I was in library was Wednesday
15 years ago right well I want you to
imagine that there’s a big wall in front
of us and no one’s here and we’re in a
library and there are a bunch of books
around us and there’s actually three
sections we have a B and C and they’re
about 238 books in each section
a B or C which one do you want to pick B
so take a step forward perfect and ran
in front of you 238 books grab out any
book you want hand it over to me I’ll
open it up Laura tell everyone what page
are we on 37 what page are we on now 38
okay
very good Laura let me there you go what
page are we on now 102 yes hundred into
Laura use your right hand go to any page
you want Laura perfect what page are we
on tell everyone I allow 57 correct
we’re on page 57 Laura on page 57 you’ll
see a bunch of words when you see one
word just remember and say yes perfect
we’re gonna close the book Laura do me a
favor turn around facing that way no no
no not behind right there and close your
Laura your word it wasn’t three letters
was it it was can you tell everyone out
loud what was your word its head Ted Ted
turn around face the audience you were
holding that in your hands in the entire
time can you open it up dramatic whoop
throw there you go
I’ll take that you just drop it take the
rubber band off and let me help you out
over here we don’t need that hold on
Laura that’s yours thank you very much
you can go to your seat
very good should we keep going let’s do
it
raise your hand if you not yet
raise your hand if you believe in
hypnosis not half okay cool
no no keep your hands over there keep
your hands up in the air keep your hand
up if you also have a dog
whoa very good keep your hands up if you
also have a cat very good
Wow keep your hands up if you also
traveled somewhere abroad this year hi
hi hi so I can see you this year okay
let’s what is your name
Madeline Madeline think of a number
between one and ten got it – no okay
never mind that who else had their hand
she’s like picker okay what is your name
ah me no okay
I’m Nina very interesting I think went
over to one and thirty got it though
they don’t say got it be honest here 15
yes
round applause whoa
I mean up come on up
bigger and encouragement once again I
mean now come on up I mean it did I say
that correctly I mean a very good please
have a seat right over here Amina now
let’s take this and throw it right
behind you right there perfect
okay good Amina have we ever met
no have weird it’s okay you can she
seems nervous have you ever spoken to we
set this up in any way do you have any
idea what’s gonna happen right now don’t
be scared everything is okay I mean oh
do you believe in Oh actually I’ve ever
tried augmented reality you know that is
that’s when you put the glasses on you
feel like you’re in a video game you
never try that well we’re gonna try it
right now but instead we’re gonna
imagine so I mean I want you to close
your eyes put your hands on your lap
your feet straight take a deep breath in
exhale take a deep breath in exhale
there you go and I want you to imagine
um you know that right now you’re on an
airplane and you’re flying very high
right above the sky and then you turn
around and you notice that you have to
back back on make eye contact with the
pilot and he says are you ready to jump
because you’re flying right above the
Amazonian rainforest where they’re
approximately a hundred thousand species
but you’re not the only one there are
other planes around you but yet they’re
flying in different directions so I want
you to look around see all the planes
keep your eyes closed
and I want you to count the amount of
planes that are around you don’t say
with your eyes closed can you tell
everyone out loud how many planes do you
see six keep your eyes closed keep your
eyes closed I mean let’s go forward the
pilot is telling do you have to jump so
you’re falling right out of the airplane
at this moment and you’re very high in
the air but for a second you feel peace
you don’t hear a pin drop you’re silent
they’re not afraid of heights you’re
just falling can all these he’s green
right on the bottom of you but when you
look up you see the parachute so look up
I want you to see the parachute and
there are different colors in the
parachute but one color stands out see
that color don’t say anything tell
red let’s keep going I mean it as you’re
falling you start to wind but you’re not
landing on flat surface no you landed on
on something think about what that
something is
tell everyone out loud what did you land
on on a log can we get some applause
over here I mean I open up your eyes
close your eyes again close your eyes
close your eyes close your eyes you’re
back in it you’re on a log you get up
and you’re running you’re running you’re
running you’re running and all of a
sudden you stop because you hear birds
chirping and land on the left on the top
you see a bird that kind of looks like a
parrot and it’s singing like a nice tune
and all of a sudden the bird flies right
above you and right behind that bird you
see an animal and this is an ordinary
animal you’re scared of this animal tell
everyone out loud what animal do you see
a snake thank God I had it you can clap
I meaning you saw the snake but here’s
the interesting part about the snake you
see this is we’re going back to Adam and
Eve the snake is actually speaking to
you the snake is looking at you and the
snake is telling you its name
think about the names see that name hear
that name tell everyone out loud what
mean to look at the snake again the
snake is looking right at you right in
your eyes he’s looking right at you and
you hear a different name right now what
name do you hear peanuts
there you go very good it goes further
it goes further the snake’s name is
peanuts but the snake is chasing you
you’re running you’re running away from
the snake and all of a sudden you trip
over that same log that you stumbled
upon and you fall and you’re in a
different space and you’re in a
different country actually think about
what country you’re in think about what
country you’re in tell everyone out loud
where are you what are you here me Nihao
where are you China very good round of
applause China very good I mean I want
you to just imagine you coming back
right now so you’re coming back it’s
okay you’re coming back right take a
deep breath your heart is beating open
up your eyes how do you feel very good
stand up stand up real quick come on
right over here on the red dot right
over here real quick real quick
very good turn around face the audience
look at everyone over here do you know
anyone here other than the girl you met
no stand like this perfect I have a
tennis ball for you I mean to grab this
do me a favor turn around face that way
and close your eyes and just throw the
tennis ball if you catch and you must be
a female if not you give it to the
closest female closest female where are
we perfect very good what is your name
Natalie turn around
turn it back around your name is Natalie
do you know Natalie Natalie do you know
Amina no idea first time I mean look at
me I want you to imagine bring your hand
out like this look at your palm right
over here right imagine this palm is
coming closer closer and closer closer
close your eyes very good and just sleep
perfect in a moment you’re gonna
completely forget about your name so
your name is not gonna be a Mina anymore
your name is gonna be Natalie I mean to
open up your eyes take a deep breath
look at me what is your name
no no out loud so they can hear you what
is your name
Natalie see that young lady over there
with the glasses
you know her what is her name amina and
your name is natalie look back at your
palm look back at your palm very good
and just sleep you’re back to where you
were you’re back to where you were amina
open up your eyes open up your eyes look
at me how do you feel what is your name
tell everyone ll amin are you sure you
heard her name before what is her name
Natalie
round of applause please Nina thank you very much good have a seat thank you
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