[Applause]
I am 49 and I am a menopause chick last
New Year’s Eve I laid in my bathtub
looked down at my body and I did
something I had never done before I said
thank you I said thank you for giving me
two amazing children thank you for
carrying me this far of my journey and
knowing that I would most likely reach
now I tell you this because ten years
ago that scene looked very different I
still went to the bathtub to retreat but
it was often to curl up in a ball rock
back and forth and try to figure out
what was going on in my mind and in my
body I was experiencing things I knew
nothing about I had chronic sleep
deprivation chronic brain fog and nobody
had warned me there was something called
perimenopausal rage but I could come
unglued without warning in fact I would
say to my husband I think this is the
did you see the title of this talk and
think I don’t need to know about
menopause yet well that’s okay
you are not alone the word menopause
makes us feel uncomfortable what did you
think of when I first said menopause hot
tired old the beginning of the end
that’s okay often women will give me a
much longer list they tell me things
like irregular periods heavy bleeding
anxiety acne loss of libido less hair
where they want it more hair where they
don’t
and moodiness and rage but what if you
saw the word menopause and you thought
wise confident beautiful we’d have a gap
you see the way we think about menopause
is ruining our ability to enjoy it we’ve
adopted society’s views and advertisers
and somewhere along the line we learned
that menopause is taboo now perhaps
that’s because google gives us the
gray-haired lady with the bed and
bookstores shall our books underneath a
and magazines like this magazine that I
pulled off the newsstand just last month
the cover shouted hooray for hormones
and I thought finally a positive article
about midlife but inside I learned that
at 30 you become the Pillsbury Dough
girl and at 40 you lose your mind and at
50 you pee your pants this doesn’t look
like a party to me I turned 50 in a few
months and I realize it’s not menopause
that fascinates me it’s what women are
willing to put up with this is the next
generation want to adopt these
stereotypes do we sure don’t get me
wrong
weight gain brain fog urinary
incontinence they are real and they are
common and I talk with women every day
who are
navigating their own set of challenges
but the good news is we can learn to
navigate those challenges we must first
unlearn the media innuendo the cultural
myths and the misinformation what is
instead of being the beginning of the
end it was the beginning I remember how
I thought I had dementia like finally
decided to address it with my doctor
this is me flat on my back naked except
for that gown the size of a post-it note
and if she gently pried my knees apart I
prepared to say menopause for the first
time so after my path my doctor said
anything else and I said yes I think I’m
showing the first signs of menopause
well she looked at me and then she
looked at my chart and she said oh
you’re 41 you’re too young and I know
she said something about birth control
pills sleeping pills and Prozac
but honestly I couldn’t hear her because
the voice inside my head was screaming
Shirley suck it up and I left her office
that day confused and embarrassed but I
couldn’t help but wonder am I the only
one so I embarked on some research I was
on a quest
I wanted women to be prepared for
perimenopause at least in the same way
we prepare our children for puberty I
talked with hundreds of women and you
know what 70 percent of them told me
they said they had no one to talk to
about menopause or that they would never
talk about menopause with anyone
and that’s when I knew this was more
than cracking open the conversation we
have to change the conversation we have
to stop painting menopause with the big
giant negative brush and find a new way
to see menopause through new eyes one
day a young reporter called me and I
quickly launched into everything I had
been learning menopause is one day it’s
the 12 month anniversary of your very
last period the average age of menopause
is 50 1.2 perimenopause is the 5 to 15
years leading up to menopause and it’s a
phase of our lives where the majority of
the hormone fluctuations occur and
perimenopause can start as early as our
mid to late 30s and I went on to tell
her how there is very little research on
perimenopause in fact if your
grandmother said going through menopause
she probably meant going through
perimenopause and I wanted to tell this
reporter all the stats 20% of women sail
through 20 percent of women have their
worlds rocked upside down and for the
remaining 60 percent of us we experience
things that are both annoying and
disruptive but this reporter she
interrupted me and she said wow you
sound like you’re the smartest you’ve
ever been I was stunned I had read a lot
about menopause and none of it said
anything about making me smarter but
then I considered her words what if she
was right I am smart I am confident I am
beautiful so if I can take the
inconvenient aspects of perimenopause
and park them over to the side
or just a minute I realize that mid life
is shining this big bright light on Who
I am what I want in my life
my relationships my career it’s given me
an opportunity to make self-care a
priority and look that’s my own name at
the top of the to-do list that reporter
she gave me an amazing gift that day she
inspired me not to miss one part of this
beautiful unfolding will you help me
write a new script for menopause this is
important
it affects 100% of women can we reframe
menopause to navigate the challenges and
celebrate the positives can we imagine a
future where women no longer feel alone
embarrassed or ashamed and where it’s
okay to say menopause at the cocktail
party and don’t unsubscribe from the
media we need them to help us tell this
story but call them on it when they get
it wrong chances are they never thought
about giving menopause and makeover
before and when we make positive
intentional word choices guess what
women will actually look forward to
midlife and that’s a good thing because
if we’re going to live to be a hundred
we’re going to spend over half of our
lives there so I’ve changed my mindset
on menopause and now I invite you to
change yours can we replace hot with
bull bitchy with beautiful and what if
the next time you hear the phrase hot
flash
you think pleasure or orgasm yes what if
hot flashes were like orgasms
women would be feeling that power surge
and we’d all be looking over and saying
I’ll have what she’s having
[Music] [Applause]
I am 49 and I am a menopause chick last
New Year’s Eve I laid in my bathtub
looked down at my body and I did
something I had never done before I said
thank you I said thank you for giving me
two amazing children thank you for
carrying me this far of my journey and
knowing that I would most likely reach
now I tell you this because ten years
ago that scene looked very different I
still went to the bathtub to retreat but
it was often to curl up in a ball rock
back and forth and try to figure out
what was going on in my mind and in my
body I was experiencing things I knew
nothing about I had chronic sleep
deprivation chronic brain fog and nobody
had warned me there was something called
perimenopausal rage but I could come
unglued without warning in fact I would
say to my husband I think this is the
did you see the title of this talk and
think I don’t need to know about
menopause yet well that’s okay
you are not alone the word menopause
makes us feel uncomfortable what did you
think of when I first said menopause hot
tired old the beginning of the end
that’s okay often women will give me a
much longer list they tell me things
like irregular periods heavy bleeding
anxiety acne loss of libido less hair
where they want it more hair where they
don’t
and moodiness and rage but what if you
saw the word menopause and you thought
wise confident beautiful we’d have a gap
you see the way we think about menopause
is ruining our ability to enjoy it we’ve
adopted society’s views and advertisers
and somewhere along the line we learned
that menopause is taboo now perhaps
that’s because google gives us the
gray-haired lady with the bed and
bookstores shall our books underneath a
and magazines like this magazine that I
pulled off the newsstand just last month
the cover shouted hooray for hormones
and I thought finally a positive article
about midlife but inside I learned that
at 30 you become the Pillsbury Dough
girl and at 40 you lose your mind and at
50 you pee your pants this doesn’t look
like a party to me I turned 50 in a few
months and I realize it’s not menopause
that fascinates me it’s what women are
willing to put up with this is the next
generation want to adopt these
stereotypes do we sure don’t get me
wrong
weight gain brain fog urinary
incontinence they are real and they are
common and I talk with women every day
who are
navigating their own set of challenges
but the good news is we can learn to
navigate those challenges we must first
unlearn the media innuendo the cultural
myths and the misinformation what is
instead of being the beginning of the
end it was the beginning I remember how
I thought I had dementia like finally
decided to address it with my doctor
this is me flat on my back naked except
for that gown the size of a post-it note
and if she gently pried my knees apart I
prepared to say menopause for the first
time so after my path my doctor said
anything else and I said yes I think I’m
showing the first signs of menopause
well she looked at me and then she
looked at my chart and she said oh
you’re 41 you’re too young and I know
she said something about birth control
pills sleeping pills and Prozac
but honestly I couldn’t hear her because
the voice inside my head was screaming
Shirley suck it up and I left her office
that day confused and embarrassed but I
couldn’t help but wonder am I the only
one so I embarked on some research I was
on a quest
I wanted women to be prepared for
perimenopause at least in the same way
we prepare our children for puberty I
talked with hundreds of women and you
know what 70 percent of them told me
they said they had no one to talk to
about menopause or that they would never
talk about menopause with anyone
and that’s when I knew this was more
than cracking open the conversation we
have to change the conversation we have
to stop painting menopause with the big
giant negative brush and find a new way
to see menopause through new eyes one
day a young reporter called me and I
quickly launched into everything I had
been learning menopause is one day it’s
the 12 month anniversary of your very
last period the average age of menopause
is 50 1.2 perimenopause is the 5 to 15
years leading up to menopause and it’s a
phase of our lives where the majority of
the hormone fluctuations occur and
perimenopause can start as early as our
mid to late 30s and I went on to tell
her how there is very little research on
perimenopause in fact if your
grandmother said going through menopause
she probably meant going through
perimenopause and I wanted to tell this
reporter all the stats 20% of women sail
through 20 percent of women have their
worlds rocked upside down and for the
remaining 60 percent of us we experience
things that are both annoying and
disruptive but this reporter she
interrupted me and she said wow you
sound like you’re the smartest you’ve
ever been I was stunned I had read a lot
about menopause and none of it said
anything about making me smarter but
then I considered her words what if she
was right I am smart I am confident I am
beautiful so if I can take the
inconvenient aspects of perimenopause
and park them over to the side
or just a minute I realize that mid life
is shining this big bright light on Who
I am what I want in my life
my relationships my career it’s given me
an opportunity to make self-care a
priority and look that’s my own name at
the top of the to-do list that reporter
she gave me an amazing gift that day she
inspired me not to miss one part of this
beautiful unfolding will you help me
write a new script for menopause this is
important
it affects 100% of women can we reframe
menopause to navigate the challenges and
celebrate the positives can we imagine a
future where women no longer feel alone
embarrassed or ashamed and where it’s
okay to say menopause at the cocktail
party and don’t unsubscribe from the
media we need them to help us tell this
story but call them on it when they get
it wrong chances are they never thought
about giving menopause and makeover
before and when we make positive
intentional word choices guess what
women will actually look forward to
midlife and that’s a good thing because
if we’re going to live to be a hundred
we’re going to spend over half of our
lives there so I’ve changed my mindset
on menopause and now I invite you to
change yours can we replace hot with
bull bitchy with beautiful and what if
the next time you hear the phrase hot
flash
you think pleasure or orgasm yes what if
hot flashes were like orgasms
women would be feeling that power surge
and we’d all be looking over and saying
I’ll have what she’s having
[Music] [Applause]
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