[Music]
early morning 28 December 2014 our mind
gong-gong went to pick up daddy Mme from
the airport I was getting ready for cold
food we got into the car mommy told me
that Daddy and maymay haven’t arrived
the plane was late two things could have
happened to the plane one it could have
been taken over by some bad guys too
it could have crushed the rest is
history in the 14 years that she went
and I were together he never once left
me wondering where he was or what he was
doing who Clara and I lost half our
family I was lost and I was a total mess
I looked at myself in the mirror and I
saw an image that looked like me
but I had no idea who the person was I
couldn’t recognize myself physically I’d
lost about 7 kilos or more for a good
six months after the accident I moved my
paces on the chess board of life only
with uncertainty I lost all
self-confidence of course
I couldn’t get out of bed I would just
cry but I knew one thing I knew that
crying alone wasn’t going to take him
anywhere and it certainly wasn’t going
to change anything I knew I had to be a
sane individual to myself and then a
mother to Luca the vision was and still
remains clear to me I will build a
positive life for Luca and I and I’m
determined to make mojitos of the lemons
I’ve been dealt I define the purpose a
purpose to myself a purpose in Luca to
friends and family and cheechee months
employers and colleagues I didn’t know
how I was gonna do it I didn’t know how
long it would take and I certainly
didn’t know what the journey was going
to look like
I have no words to describe the loss
except that left a deep hole a very deep
hole Simon’s body was only found in
February six weeks after the accident
these six weeks such as he felt like an
eternity Zoe’s body was never found
and I had to find a way to keep my
sanity I started seeing my psychiatrist
three weeks after the accident for 18
months I saw her once a week and now I
still see her once a month without dr.
Pam emotionally and psychologically I
certainly but we eyesight as certainly
wouldn’t be psychologically and
emotionally where I am today the
accident catapulted me 20 years back to
the starting point of my adult life I’ve
had to redefine myself rebuild my career
financially provide for Luca and I be
both mother and father to him establish
a new normal create new traditions in
our new household for two
thinking through the journey and doing a
little bit of research of how one
defines life purpose the questions came
to the fore Who am I what do I do
who do I do it for what do they want or
need and what do they get out of it
let’s look at these through my
interaction with three distinct groups
with family with friends and through
work with family we all know that family
relationships are complex mine is no
different
nonetheless they have been the pillars
of support to Luca and I never doubt
your family to do so interaction with
friends those closest and dearest to new
know me well and they know that I’m
terrible at asking for help
and because of this they’ve either
stepped in or step forward from taking
over and delivering the most beautiful
and elegant memorial service for chi’lan
and Zoe – coming around now weekly to
help Luca with his homework they take
him to tooth football and they’re taking
to touch rugby and friends take Luca for
weeks on end during his school holidays
Simon and I invested in our friendships
those closest to him trusted in with
their lives in fact this was one of many
qualities about him I fell in love with
we have old and dear friends of 25 years
and more Luca now builds his friendship
with these friends it’s extremely
important and my aim is of course should
anything happen to I to me that Luca
will never be alone and he would never
feel helpless
recalling the questions of how one
defines life purpose who I am what I do
who do I do it for what do they want
what do they get out of it
these walk both ways let your friends
step in and help they too are envelopes
and grief and sadness I very quickly
realized that the more I kept silent the
more they would worry the more I
distanced myself the more they cried
allowing them to step in and helping is
an extremely powerful way of assisting
them and helping them grieve and heal
the act of contributing and playing a
role to rebuild lives is extremely
cathartic and you know what it’s okay to
feel vulnerable the grace of receiving
allowing vulnerability to show it’s a
most humbling experience but beyond that
it’s a simple and beautiful way of
assisting those closest to us to heal
interaction with corporate life my work
at the Museum was really the turning
point of my recovery what did it do for
me personally remember that I started
with zero self confidence the routine of
going back to work we establish
structure in my life to avoid operating
in a semi autopilot mode I chose a
totally new environment different
colleagues different mindset different
stakeholders different demands requiring
thinking out-of-the-box learning new
content creating new solutions
everything I had done in my prior career
of 15 years gave me all the right
ammunition for these new challenges
professional success and achievements
played a big role in rebuilding my
confidence I know I still had it and
clearly the proof was in the pudding
raising new funds and revenue to enhance
our own culture isn’t it it’s an
extremely important cause the Singapore
government supported me immediately
after the accident and they brought my
husband’s body home for these I’m
eternally grateful
I had a national debt to pay and I did
it Jim and I have always been
competitive he was my worst critic and I
in turn certainly kept him on his toes
we often thought about who was actually
going to die first I know it sounds
ridiculous I would say oh of course I’m
dying for us I’m not staying behind to
clean up this mess and she would say
Noby I’m dying first you will just pick
up the pieces and move on if you die
first I would have no idea what to do
without you at the funeral
my final parting words did you mind well
she won you win but you cheated you were
never meant to have one this way you
remember daddy by the jokes he used to
say and do we remember Zoey by reading
her favorite books at bedtime to
celebrate daddy’s birthday by singing
him a happy birthday song
we remember Zoey by decorating her a
birthday cake with pink and purple
Smarties on them pink was her favorite
color she would only eat the pink and
purple Smarties daddy and Mei Mei are
always with us they are always in our
hearts
[Applause]
I like to share a short excerpt from a
poem by Henry Scott pollen which
perfectly encapsulates how lucre and I
and our closest friends keep Chi Minh
and Zoey very very close to our hearts
death is nothing at all it does not
count
I have only slipped away into the next
room nothing has happened everything
remains exactly as it was I am I and you
are you and the old life that we lived
so fondly together is untouched
unchanged whatever we were to each other
that we are still we like to close today
with photos of Luca and I taken in the
last two and a half years we welcome you
to continue to progress with us through
our Facebook page remembering Chi Minh
and Zoe for now for now this does young
man this love of my life is proof of how
far we’ve come
[Applause]
early morning 28 December 2014 our mind
gong-gong went to pick up daddy Mme from
the airport I was getting ready for cold
food we got into the car mommy told me
that Daddy and maymay haven’t arrived
the plane was late two things could have
happened to the plane one it could have
been taken over by some bad guys too
it could have crushed the rest is
history in the 14 years that she went
and I were together he never once left
me wondering where he was or what he was
doing who Clara and I lost half our
family I was lost and I was a total mess
I looked at myself in the mirror and I
saw an image that looked like me
but I had no idea who the person was I
couldn’t recognize myself physically I’d
lost about 7 kilos or more for a good
six months after the accident I moved my
paces on the chess board of life only
with uncertainty I lost all
self-confidence of course
I couldn’t get out of bed I would just
cry but I knew one thing I knew that
crying alone wasn’t going to take him
anywhere and it certainly wasn’t going
to change anything I knew I had to be a
sane individual to myself and then a
mother to Luca the vision was and still
remains clear to me I will build a
positive life for Luca and I and I’m
determined to make mojitos of the lemons
I’ve been dealt I define the purpose a
purpose to myself a purpose in Luca to
friends and family and cheechee months
employers and colleagues I didn’t know
how I was gonna do it I didn’t know how
long it would take and I certainly
didn’t know what the journey was going
to look like
I have no words to describe the loss
except that left a deep hole a very deep
hole Simon’s body was only found in
February six weeks after the accident
these six weeks such as he felt like an
eternity Zoe’s body was never found
and I had to find a way to keep my
sanity I started seeing my psychiatrist
three weeks after the accident for 18
months I saw her once a week and now I
still see her once a month without dr.
Pam emotionally and psychologically I
certainly but we eyesight as certainly
wouldn’t be psychologically and
emotionally where I am today the
accident catapulted me 20 years back to
the starting point of my adult life I’ve
had to redefine myself rebuild my career
financially provide for Luca and I be
both mother and father to him establish
a new normal create new traditions in
our new household for two
thinking through the journey and doing a
little bit of research of how one
defines life purpose the questions came
to the fore Who am I what do I do
who do I do it for what do they want or
need and what do they get out of it
let’s look at these through my
interaction with three distinct groups
with family with friends and through
work with family we all know that family
relationships are complex mine is no
different
nonetheless they have been the pillars
of support to Luca and I never doubt
your family to do so interaction with
friends those closest and dearest to new
know me well and they know that I’m
terrible at asking for help
and because of this they’ve either
stepped in or step forward from taking
over and delivering the most beautiful
and elegant memorial service for chi’lan
and Zoe – coming around now weekly to
help Luca with his homework they take
him to tooth football and they’re taking
to touch rugby and friends take Luca for
weeks on end during his school holidays
Simon and I invested in our friendships
those closest to him trusted in with
their lives in fact this was one of many
qualities about him I fell in love with
we have old and dear friends of 25 years
and more Luca now builds his friendship
with these friends it’s extremely
important and my aim is of course should
anything happen to I to me that Luca
will never be alone and he would never
feel helpless
recalling the questions of how one
defines life purpose who I am what I do
who do I do it for what do they want
what do they get out of it
these walk both ways let your friends
step in and help they too are envelopes
and grief and sadness I very quickly
realized that the more I kept silent the
more they would worry the more I
distanced myself the more they cried
allowing them to step in and helping is
an extremely powerful way of assisting
them and helping them grieve and heal
the act of contributing and playing a
role to rebuild lives is extremely
cathartic and you know what it’s okay to
feel vulnerable the grace of receiving
allowing vulnerability to show it’s a
most humbling experience but beyond that
it’s a simple and beautiful way of
assisting those closest to us to heal
interaction with corporate life my work
at the Museum was really the turning
point of my recovery what did it do for
me personally remember that I started
with zero self confidence the routine of
going back to work we establish
structure in my life to avoid operating
in a semi autopilot mode I chose a
totally new environment different
colleagues different mindset different
stakeholders different demands requiring
thinking out-of-the-box learning new
content creating new solutions
everything I had done in my prior career
of 15 years gave me all the right
ammunition for these new challenges
professional success and achievements
played a big role in rebuilding my
confidence I know I still had it and
clearly the proof was in the pudding
raising new funds and revenue to enhance
our own culture isn’t it it’s an
extremely important cause the Singapore
government supported me immediately
after the accident and they brought my
husband’s body home for these I’m
eternally grateful
I had a national debt to pay and I did
it Jim and I have always been
competitive he was my worst critic and I
in turn certainly kept him on his toes
we often thought about who was actually
going to die first I know it sounds
ridiculous I would say oh of course I’m
dying for us I’m not staying behind to
clean up this mess and she would say
Noby I’m dying first you will just pick
up the pieces and move on if you die
first I would have no idea what to do
without you at the funeral
my final parting words did you mind well
she won you win but you cheated you were
never meant to have one this way you
remember daddy by the jokes he used to
say and do we remember Zoey by reading
her favorite books at bedtime to
celebrate daddy’s birthday by singing
him a happy birthday song
we remember Zoey by decorating her a
birthday cake with pink and purple
Smarties on them pink was her favorite
color she would only eat the pink and
purple Smarties daddy and Mei Mei are
always with us they are always in our
hearts
[Applause]
I like to share a short excerpt from a
poem by Henry Scott pollen which
perfectly encapsulates how lucre and I
and our closest friends keep Chi Minh
and Zoey very very close to our hearts
death is nothing at all it does not
count
I have only slipped away into the next
room nothing has happened everything
remains exactly as it was I am I and you
are you and the old life that we lived
so fondly together is untouched
unchanged whatever we were to each other
that we are still we like to close today
with photos of Luca and I taken in the
last two and a half years we welcome you
to continue to progress with us through
our Facebook page remembering Chi Minh
and Zoe for now for now this does young
man this love of my life is proof of how
far we’ve come
[Applause]
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