[Music]
[Applause]
today I’m going to share with you an
extraordinary story and what makes this
extraordinary is that I finally learned
something in maths that was directly
relevant to the real world it was termed
– and we had recently completed a test
my teacher said she’d had trouble
marking my paper because for one of the
questions I’d somehow got the correct
answer but my working was completely
wrong
this was quite amusing given that over
the past few years I’d accidentally
become an expert at getting the right
answers with the wrong working right
from the first day at my new school I
began learning this accidental Talent
and this time it wasn’t an maths class I
arrived at my new school thinking that I
would learn something new in the
classroom but imagine if you will a
small ten-year-old girl sitting in the
assembly hall listening awestruck to the
newly elected head girl addressed the
student body for the first time I’ve
since forgotten what she said
but I knew an answer from that moment I
thought that one day that would be me
the head girl of 2018 standing up on
that stage I was driven to get involved
in a multitude of activities choirs
debating sports teams school and best
her productions coaching you name it
there was probably a badge on my blazer
for it although I never did any of this
solely because I wanted to be the head
girl I can see that looking back
this was my subconscious working towards
achieving the answer
that I had set out for myself seven
years went past quickly and by the time
we got to 2017 my blazer was a danger to
magnets so was the pressure that began
to accumulate quickly as my peers
teachers and myself began to turn this
10 year olds dream into an expectation I
thought that hid girl plus Charlotte
equaled the only possible way to give
back to my school and through leadership
in year 13 at our school all prospective
prix fixe give a one-minute speech to
the assembly and then everyone votes
however once I’d sit down from giving my
speech I no longer held any control over
the outcome of the situation I’d done
the correct working to the best of my
ability and now it was time to wait for
the answer there we all were in the hall
at senior prize-giving waiting through
various awards few of which I recall the
name of the deputy head girl was
announced and then then my name wasn’t
announced for the position the position
that I’d come to think of as my purpose
my way to give back to the school was
not going to be mine I felt confused
crushed and mostly disappointed in
myself because of my eyes I didn’t match
up to the person who I thought I was not
a leader not someone who could be of
service or who could create impact in
anyone’s lives now let’s stop right
there and take a look at this story in
essence I see a goal and didn’t achieve
it so my first thoughts were to give up
entirely using this logic does that mean
if you apply for a job one day and don’t
receive it you just remain on
Floyd for the rest of your life or if
you fail your driving tests the first
time like I did you just decide that
perhaps you weren’t meant to be a driver
no you apply for another job or you pay
the reset fee and try again so what is
the difference when it comes to our
goals
why are we so apprehensive to try again
we want to fulfill expectations for an
obvious reason because we are often told
it is the primary route to doing well at
life think about it it’s not being a
grade itself for the middle and
basketball or the leadership position
that we want we want to pursue these
things because one day we understandably
want to have a fulfilling career with
meaningful relationships and the respect
of others sometimes we get so caught up
fulfilling these expectations that we
completely forget where they came from
who defines the expectations we pursue
on our quest to do well in school it is
easy to believe that mistakes are
inherently bad because there is a right
and a wrong answer for everything we are
told to put up our hands and ask and
keep asking for permission we are told
to deliver on rather than change
expectations how did I come to this
realization my true turning point came
following senior prize-giving when I
learned about the concept of a fixed
mindset and a growth mindset in the
fixed mindset our abilities are sit and
everything is about the outcome
if you fail or if you’re not the best
it’s all been wasted you are either a
leader or not a leader intelligent or
not intelligent people who live in the
fixed mindset thrive doing what they
know they’re best at and safe can do
neatly tucked inside their comfort zone
common dialogue sounds like this I just
can’t do miss I don’t understand but I
won’t ask a question because I don’t
want to look silly in front of others if
I don’t get this leadership position I
guess I’m just not a leader on the other
hand the growth mindset says that our
abilities are malleable and allows
people to find a purpose in what they’re
doing regardless of the outcome they’re
tackling problems charting new courses
working on important issues even in the
growth mindset failure can be a painful
experience but it doesn’t define you
it’s a problem to be faced dealt with
and learned from when I learned about
the term mindsets I immediately decided
that I wanted to change it based on my
recent experiences with leadership it
was exhausting being fixated on
achieving the correct working and
believing that I somehow had to be
validated by external means to be
considered successful besides in the
real world beyond gold shiny badges
who defines what the correct answer is
the truth is that the answer is
completely subjective and everyone’s
working will look different therefore we
might have a better chance at working it
out if we stopped looking outside
ourselves instead we could focus on
knowing our own purpose what our values
are and what we stand for that all
sounds good and well but how exactly do
we resist the temptation of relying on
external indicators of success and
instead turning inwardly towards our
purpose here are three practicable steps
you can use as soon as you leave this
event they go by the name
CPR think of it as CPR for your goals
the first being seen to change your
mindset just by knowing about the
concept of a fixed mindset and a growth
mindset you can start thinking and
acting in new ways
you may even start to catch yourself and
the throws of the fixed mindset passing
up a chance for learning feeling labeled
by a failure or getting discouraged when
something requires a lot of effort for
fellow students practice exams are a
perfect example of this in these times
make an effort to switch into the growth
mindset take the challenge learn from
the failure continue the effort or
decide the best strategy moving forward
the bottom line is that you keep moving
with the knowledge that challenges help
you grow once you are making an effort
to live in the growth mindset the second
step is to know your purpose
now purpose is not a new age gag our
term it is simply the reason for why we
do what we do knowing our purpose X is a
buffer between the effort we put into
anything we find meaningful and the
inherent challenges that we will face
along the way when I discovered that my
purpose is to connect the dots for
others so that they can be empowered to
lead themselves better I understood that
what I wanted to achieve in 2018
was irrespective of being head girl in
fact this didn’t even have to be in my
working at all you can find purpose in
anything that is meaningful to you it is
not inherently self oriented but strong
purpose also encompasses our own
intention to contribute to the
well-being of others there is a great
parable about three bricklayers each of
whom were asked what are you doing the
first says I’m
brakes ii says i’m putting up a wall
while the Fed says I’m building a
cathedral
the first bricklayer is doing his job
the second has a vision while the third
is motivated by a mission although all
three are doing the exact same job
the third bricklayer has purpose he’s
working for a higher calling he’s out to
create something spectacular when it
comes to our own lives if we were to
picture ourselves within that parable as
a bricklayer how would we respond to
that question
like the bricklayer who is building with
purpose we see how purpose motivates
students through research developmental
psychologists David Jaeger and met
bandik found this pattern and
adolescents through their studies in one
study they interviewed around a hundred
adolescents asking them what they wanted
to be when they grew up and why now some
talked about their future and purely
self oriented terms for example I want
to be a fashion designer because it’s a
fun thing to do while others only talked
about the future in other oriented
motives such as I want to be a doctor to
help people out now some young people
mentioned both self and other oriented
motives and two years later these young
people rated their schoolwork as more
personally meaningful than classmates
who’ve named either motive alone I
realized that this is exactly what I had
done unless it had a purpose that not
only motivated me personally but
encompassed my drive to empower other
students to lead themselves there were a
whole host of exciting opportunities
that could age me further towards this
higher goal like Yeager and bandik
showed having purpose is profoundly
motivating your focus shifts from the
what to the why because there is neither
one straight track towards purpose
finally in the part that is often left
out when we talk about goals is to
exercise resilience I use the verb
exercise intentionally because just like
any other muscle in your body resilience
is something that must be consistently
worked on and practiced time and time
again it isn’t here n’t that the more
you live in a growth mindset with a
strong purpose the more you will
encounter adversity so how do you go to
the resilience gym the reality is we are
given opportunities to be resilient or
retreat back into the fixed mindset
every day actively seek constructive
criticism work on your biggest weakness
next time you feel low think about
learning and confronting obstacles is
this something you’ve always wanted to
do but you were afraid you weren’t good
at make a plan to do it the key to these
exercises is approaching them with the
belief that failure is welcomed it is
hard that’s why it’s a practice but with
each adverse experience that comes your
way you were even better equipped for
what comes next with a growth mindset a
strong purpose and the belief that
failure is your friend your goals now
propel you rather than inhibit you when
you approach life with the sense of
responsibility that you cannot not
contribute you thrive off adversity by
looking for new ways to approach the
problem at hand and exercising
resilience you are dedicated to getting
the right answer even if that means
doing working that society deems wrong
to get there it took my experiences with
leadership positions for me to realize
that if I am a true leader I can’t wait
to be handed a title before I create
impact I can’t
so fixated on achieving the correct
working that I lose sight of the answer
I’m aiming for when I began to be guided
by my purpose rather than my beliefs on
positions that was when I could take a
full pivot and work towards my goals I
am a leader I create impact in my school
and M of service to others but my
working to get there is completely
different to what I once considered to
be the correct way so next time you find
yourself getting transfixed on that new
promotion or getting that scholarship to
go to vet university ask yourself how
this outcome would allow you to achieve
what you couldn’t in any other way it is
highly likely that when you are living
in the growth mindset with a strong
purpose and a toned resilience muscle
you’ll find that there are always other
ways you can achieve your goals if there
is one thing I would like you to take
away from today it is to ask who are you
when your job your sport the subjects
you take and your leadership positions
are taken away what is your purpose
outside achieving these goals and how
are you leading yourself to your version
of success for true leaders are made not
born and they’re not made by external
means they’re made by themselves the
goals they set the decisions they make
the purpose they choose with purpose we
now have a responsibility to never be
held back by what we can’t control the
reality is I can’t control most of what
comes next and neither can you
but what we can control is both how we
feel about and respond to situations I
thought I’m am grateful for the pivotal
adversity I experienced at age 16 as I
now understand that there is never one
career
said of working to get to the right
answer just as I learned and met all those years ago
[Applause]
today I’m going to share with you an
extraordinary story and what makes this
extraordinary is that I finally learned
something in maths that was directly
relevant to the real world it was termed
– and we had recently completed a test
my teacher said she’d had trouble
marking my paper because for one of the
questions I’d somehow got the correct
answer but my working was completely
wrong
this was quite amusing given that over
the past few years I’d accidentally
become an expert at getting the right
answers with the wrong working right
from the first day at my new school I
began learning this accidental Talent
and this time it wasn’t an maths class I
arrived at my new school thinking that I
would learn something new in the
classroom but imagine if you will a
small ten-year-old girl sitting in the
assembly hall listening awestruck to the
newly elected head girl addressed the
student body for the first time I’ve
since forgotten what she said
but I knew an answer from that moment I
thought that one day that would be me
the head girl of 2018 standing up on
that stage I was driven to get involved
in a multitude of activities choirs
debating sports teams school and best
her productions coaching you name it
there was probably a badge on my blazer
for it although I never did any of this
solely because I wanted to be the head
girl I can see that looking back
this was my subconscious working towards
achieving the answer
that I had set out for myself seven
years went past quickly and by the time
we got to 2017 my blazer was a danger to
magnets so was the pressure that began
to accumulate quickly as my peers
teachers and myself began to turn this
10 year olds dream into an expectation I
thought that hid girl plus Charlotte
equaled the only possible way to give
back to my school and through leadership
in year 13 at our school all prospective
prix fixe give a one-minute speech to
the assembly and then everyone votes
however once I’d sit down from giving my
speech I no longer held any control over
the outcome of the situation I’d done
the correct working to the best of my
ability and now it was time to wait for
the answer there we all were in the hall
at senior prize-giving waiting through
various awards few of which I recall the
name of the deputy head girl was
announced and then then my name wasn’t
announced for the position the position
that I’d come to think of as my purpose
my way to give back to the school was
not going to be mine I felt confused
crushed and mostly disappointed in
myself because of my eyes I didn’t match
up to the person who I thought I was not
a leader not someone who could be of
service or who could create impact in
anyone’s lives now let’s stop right
there and take a look at this story in
essence I see a goal and didn’t achieve
it so my first thoughts were to give up
entirely using this logic does that mean
if you apply for a job one day and don’t
receive it you just remain on
Floyd for the rest of your life or if
you fail your driving tests the first
time like I did you just decide that
perhaps you weren’t meant to be a driver
no you apply for another job or you pay
the reset fee and try again so what is
the difference when it comes to our
goals
why are we so apprehensive to try again
we want to fulfill expectations for an
obvious reason because we are often told
it is the primary route to doing well at
life think about it it’s not being a
grade itself for the middle and
basketball or the leadership position
that we want we want to pursue these
things because one day we understandably
want to have a fulfilling career with
meaningful relationships and the respect
of others sometimes we get so caught up
fulfilling these expectations that we
completely forget where they came from
who defines the expectations we pursue
on our quest to do well in school it is
easy to believe that mistakes are
inherently bad because there is a right
and a wrong answer for everything we are
told to put up our hands and ask and
keep asking for permission we are told
to deliver on rather than change
expectations how did I come to this
realization my true turning point came
following senior prize-giving when I
learned about the concept of a fixed
mindset and a growth mindset in the
fixed mindset our abilities are sit and
everything is about the outcome
if you fail or if you’re not the best
it’s all been wasted you are either a
leader or not a leader intelligent or
not intelligent people who live in the
fixed mindset thrive doing what they
know they’re best at and safe can do
neatly tucked inside their comfort zone
common dialogue sounds like this I just
can’t do miss I don’t understand but I
won’t ask a question because I don’t
want to look silly in front of others if
I don’t get this leadership position I
guess I’m just not a leader on the other
hand the growth mindset says that our
abilities are malleable and allows
people to find a purpose in what they’re
doing regardless of the outcome they’re
tackling problems charting new courses
working on important issues even in the
growth mindset failure can be a painful
experience but it doesn’t define you
it’s a problem to be faced dealt with
and learned from when I learned about
the term mindsets I immediately decided
that I wanted to change it based on my
recent experiences with leadership it
was exhausting being fixated on
achieving the correct working and
believing that I somehow had to be
validated by external means to be
considered successful besides in the
real world beyond gold shiny badges
who defines what the correct answer is
the truth is that the answer is
completely subjective and everyone’s
working will look different therefore we
might have a better chance at working it
out if we stopped looking outside
ourselves instead we could focus on
knowing our own purpose what our values
are and what we stand for that all
sounds good and well but how exactly do
we resist the temptation of relying on
external indicators of success and
instead turning inwardly towards our
purpose here are three practicable steps
you can use as soon as you leave this
event they go by the name
CPR think of it as CPR for your goals
the first being seen to change your
mindset just by knowing about the
concept of a fixed mindset and a growth
mindset you can start thinking and
acting in new ways
you may even start to catch yourself and
the throws of the fixed mindset passing
up a chance for learning feeling labeled
by a failure or getting discouraged when
something requires a lot of effort for
fellow students practice exams are a
perfect example of this in these times
make an effort to switch into the growth
mindset take the challenge learn from
the failure continue the effort or
decide the best strategy moving forward
the bottom line is that you keep moving
with the knowledge that challenges help
you grow once you are making an effort
to live in the growth mindset the second
step is to know your purpose
now purpose is not a new age gag our
term it is simply the reason for why we
do what we do knowing our purpose X is a
buffer between the effort we put into
anything we find meaningful and the
inherent challenges that we will face
along the way when I discovered that my
purpose is to connect the dots for
others so that they can be empowered to
lead themselves better I understood that
what I wanted to achieve in 2018
was irrespective of being head girl in
fact this didn’t even have to be in my
working at all you can find purpose in
anything that is meaningful to you it is
not inherently self oriented but strong
purpose also encompasses our own
intention to contribute to the
well-being of others there is a great
parable about three bricklayers each of
whom were asked what are you doing the
first says I’m
brakes ii says i’m putting up a wall
while the Fed says I’m building a
cathedral
the first bricklayer is doing his job
the second has a vision while the third
is motivated by a mission although all
three are doing the exact same job
the third bricklayer has purpose he’s
working for a higher calling he’s out to
create something spectacular when it
comes to our own lives if we were to
picture ourselves within that parable as
a bricklayer how would we respond to
that question
like the bricklayer who is building with
purpose we see how purpose motivates
students through research developmental
psychologists David Jaeger and met
bandik found this pattern and
adolescents through their studies in one
study they interviewed around a hundred
adolescents asking them what they wanted
to be when they grew up and why now some
talked about their future and purely
self oriented terms for example I want
to be a fashion designer because it’s a
fun thing to do while others only talked
about the future in other oriented
motives such as I want to be a doctor to
help people out now some young people
mentioned both self and other oriented
motives and two years later these young
people rated their schoolwork as more
personally meaningful than classmates
who’ve named either motive alone I
realized that this is exactly what I had
done unless it had a purpose that not
only motivated me personally but
encompassed my drive to empower other
students to lead themselves there were a
whole host of exciting opportunities
that could age me further towards this
higher goal like Yeager and bandik
showed having purpose is profoundly
motivating your focus shifts from the
what to the why because there is neither
one straight track towards purpose
finally in the part that is often left
out when we talk about goals is to
exercise resilience I use the verb
exercise intentionally because just like
any other muscle in your body resilience
is something that must be consistently
worked on and practiced time and time
again it isn’t here n’t that the more
you live in a growth mindset with a
strong purpose the more you will
encounter adversity so how do you go to
the resilience gym the reality is we are
given opportunities to be resilient or
retreat back into the fixed mindset
every day actively seek constructive
criticism work on your biggest weakness
next time you feel low think about
learning and confronting obstacles is
this something you’ve always wanted to
do but you were afraid you weren’t good
at make a plan to do it the key to these
exercises is approaching them with the
belief that failure is welcomed it is
hard that’s why it’s a practice but with
each adverse experience that comes your
way you were even better equipped for
what comes next with a growth mindset a
strong purpose and the belief that
failure is your friend your goals now
propel you rather than inhibit you when
you approach life with the sense of
responsibility that you cannot not
contribute you thrive off adversity by
looking for new ways to approach the
problem at hand and exercising
resilience you are dedicated to getting
the right answer even if that means
doing working that society deems wrong
to get there it took my experiences with
leadership positions for me to realize
that if I am a true leader I can’t wait
to be handed a title before I create
impact I can’t
so fixated on achieving the correct
working that I lose sight of the answer
I’m aiming for when I began to be guided
by my purpose rather than my beliefs on
positions that was when I could take a
full pivot and work towards my goals I
am a leader I create impact in my school
and M of service to others but my
working to get there is completely
different to what I once considered to
be the correct way so next time you find
yourself getting transfixed on that new
promotion or getting that scholarship to
go to vet university ask yourself how
this outcome would allow you to achieve
what you couldn’t in any other way it is
highly likely that when you are living
in the growth mindset with a strong
purpose and a toned resilience muscle
you’ll find that there are always other
ways you can achieve your goals if there
is one thing I would like you to take
away from today it is to ask who are you
when your job your sport the subjects
you take and your leadership positions
are taken away what is your purpose
outside achieving these goals and how
are you leading yourself to your version
of success for true leaders are made not
born and they’re not made by external
means they’re made by themselves the
goals they set the decisions they make
the purpose they choose with purpose we
now have a responsibility to never be
held back by what we can’t control the
reality is I can’t control most of what
comes next and neither can you
but what we can control is both how we
feel about and respond to situations I
thought I’m am grateful for the pivotal
adversity I experienced at age 16 as I
now understand that there is never one
career
said of working to get to the right
answer just as I learned and met all those years ago
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