learn to expect the unexpected
haven’t we all learn this lesson more
often than not our expectations aren’t
met by reality and you can either view
this paradox as a blessing or a curse
I’m a rower
and to be honest what drew me to the
sport of Cru is that you actually see
sit down while you’re competing I had
spent many unaccessible years on the
basketball lacrosse and cross-country
teams all sports where you just don’t
stand you also have to run and I
wouldn’t stand for it so I came upon
rowing as a seemingly simple way to get
some Fitness in therefore I assumed like
most casual spectators that rowing was
an arms only sport that would prove to
be easy this supposition sounds idiotic
in hindsight but at the time it felt
reasonable and made me feel confident
about abandoning my former sports little
did I know that rowing was a grueling
back-breaking exhausting sport ESPN
actually describes crew as the most
challenging high school sport because of
the toll it takes on your muscles and
your entire cardiovascular system rowers
have been known to collapse at the end
of races and herb tests but I joined
this sport anyways because my
expectations were so inaccurate an
expectation is a strong belief that
something will happen or be the case in
the future a belief that someone will or
should achieve something we all have
them expectations of ourselves
expectations of others expectations of
how things are supposed to be in some
cases our expectations can spark the
beginning of something revolutionary in
other cases they have the power to
completely sabotage our outlook on
certain life events whether good or bad
expectations on data we play a crucial
role in our day-to-day lives they allow
us to make both significant decisions
and mundane ones
that we don’t even have time to think of
it think about anymore expecting that a
car will stop at a red light or that
your clothes will be clean after you put
them in the washing machine are things
that we don’t think twice about we
simply expect that these things will
happen based on prior experience the
complexities of expectations are not
mere thought experiments vast research
demonstrates how expectations really can
alter our behavior we constantly
witnessed the impact the impacts of
expectations in our everyday lives in
one study researchers asked participants
to taste several wines labeled with a
wide variety of prices brain scans of
subjects showed that different areas of
the brain activated depending on the
subjects expectations despite the fact
that they were really only given two
wines of the same price similarly
Parkinson’s patients were injected with
saline that they believed was either in
$1,000 or a $1,500 medication patients
who believed they had received the more
expensive medicine performed
significantly better on motor skills
tests in fact the effectiveness of the
premium placebo even rivaled their real
medication David Rock director of the
neural Leadership Institute found that
our inevitable disappointment when our
expectations are not met may actually be
the result of a chemical process in the
brain when something positive happens to
us the neurotransmitter dopamine is
released boosting our mood as a result
because we are able to identify this
good feeling it’s things much worse when
something does not go as expected as our
negative feelings significantly outweigh
the positive ones imagine that you’re
driving to school in the morning you’ve
taken the same roads to school every day
for the past five years so you know when
the lights change and how much time you
have to make it to the next light before
it turns red you don’t actually know
this you expect it what happens if
there’s an accident blocking your usual
route or if there’s a lot of traffic for
some unknown reason now you’re late to
school you get flustered or just drive
did and if you’re not paying attention
you could hit a car based on the fact
that you expected the light to be green
because of prior experience while
expectations we place on ourselves can
have a striking impact the expectations
we place on others can be equally
influential a Harvard study found that
when teachers received fabricated test
results that marked random student
students as destined for success they
treated these children notably
differently teachers gave their special
students significantly more feedback
significantly more opportunities and
significantly higher grades they truly
viewed these children as special and
destined for success even though they
were no different from their peers the
other classmates struggling with
feelings of inferiority experienced
lower IQ scores and far less
intellectual development due to their
teachers lowered expectations so why not
make a good first impression with your
teacher that first day of school or make
a good impression on anyone that for
that matter so that you influence their
expectations of you a benefit of
expectations is the often motivating
force they have on many people
expectations can make us work harder or
do things we never thought possible
let’s go back to rowing my teammates
expect me to show to practice every day
to push myself to the limit on the ERG
machines and in the boat and to take
care of myself so that our performance
as a team can elevate to a new level
these expectations are beneficial to
everyone on the team even though the
feeling we get from disappointing
ourselves is undesirable letting other
people down is even worse so how can we
tell the difference between the
beneficial and the detrimental how can
we ensure that our expectations will
allow us to move forward at first glance
it might seem that the secret to
avoiding disappointment is simply to not
have expectations at all in reality this
idea proves to be quite unrealistic as
predictions are formed mainly by
subconscious processes making it
essentially impossible for
us not to have any expectations another
thought that people tend to have is that
if we cannot plainly shut down the part
of our minds that creates these
expectations maybe we can find a way to
control them yet again we find ourselves
caught in a mind trap the ability to
manage our expectations is
extraordinarily difficult when we set
high expectations
we seem overconfident and ultimately end
up disappointed with the final result
when we lower our expectations
expectations negative thoughts overcrowd
our means of making logical decisions
because of this quandary I offer a two
step solution to adjust not the
formation of the expectation itself but
what to do when the outcome isn’t what
we expected let’s start out with an
example imagine on it’s Friday night and
you decided to reward yourself for a
week of hard work by going to a new
restaurant that plenty of friends and
co-workers had raved about it had a four
and a half star rating on Yelp and you
were prepared to have a good time once
you get there though the servers are
rude the food takes a long time to make
it to your table and the prices are
absurd you had set your expectations
very high but were ultimately
disappointed the first step is to take a
step back and evaluate the expectations
you had and why you had them you
expected the restaurant to be incredible
because of all the other people that had
recommended it the second step is to
look at the situation differently
instead of focusing on the bat look at
the good think about what the restaurant
did well instead the decorations are
beautiful the menu is very the food was
delicious once it arrived the benefits
of the restaurant clearly outweigh the
costs there you have it you successfully
changed your reality by changing your
perception about what a nice restaurant
should be once you came to the
conclusion that there were more positive
than negative things to focus on you are
no longer disappointed it’s not about
forcing yourself to develop new
expectations but how to turn the
unexpected into something favorable and
productive let’s connect this back to
rowing
I expected it to be simple and once I
could say with conviction that my
expectations were wildly inaccurate I
took a step back and reflected upon what
attacked what exactly I’d expected and
why I had expected it to be easy because
the only true exposure I had to rowing
through us through photos and videos
shown in a positive light such as
victorious team moments after winning a
race no one had even informed me about
what exactly I was getting myself into
step two is to identify all of the
benefits of rowing and compare them to
the costs you’ve heard me say it at
least twice during this presentation but
rowing is hard it’s a huge time
commitment and with the physical and
mental toll it requires to become
successful exhaustion is inevitable but
crew really is a great workout and I
love being on a team combined with the
yuphoria rowers experience after winning
a race and the mental perseverance you
develop while experiencing certain
hardships it is clear that the positive
aspects of rowing outweigh the negative
I never could have expected to become so
passionate and devoted to a sport so
willing to push myself and my team to be
the best we could possibly be and when
you win a race without sweet taste of
victory more than justifies the hard
work sweat and tears it took to get
there once I examine my previous
expectations I was successfully able to
change my reality and after all if you
are able to align your own expectations
with reality if you have a method of
turning initial disappointment into a
constructive and effective experience
you too can learn to not only expect the
unexpected but to turn the unexpected
into something unbelievable thank you
[Music] [Applause]
haven’t we all learn this lesson more
often than not our expectations aren’t
met by reality and you can either view
this paradox as a blessing or a curse
I’m a rower
and to be honest what drew me to the
sport of Cru is that you actually see
sit down while you’re competing I had
spent many unaccessible years on the
basketball lacrosse and cross-country
teams all sports where you just don’t
stand you also have to run and I
wouldn’t stand for it so I came upon
rowing as a seemingly simple way to get
some Fitness in therefore I assumed like
most casual spectators that rowing was
an arms only sport that would prove to
be easy this supposition sounds idiotic
in hindsight but at the time it felt
reasonable and made me feel confident
about abandoning my former sports little
did I know that rowing was a grueling
back-breaking exhausting sport ESPN
actually describes crew as the most
challenging high school sport because of
the toll it takes on your muscles and
your entire cardiovascular system rowers
have been known to collapse at the end
of races and herb tests but I joined
this sport anyways because my
expectations were so inaccurate an
expectation is a strong belief that
something will happen or be the case in
the future a belief that someone will or
should achieve something we all have
them expectations of ourselves
expectations of others expectations of
how things are supposed to be in some
cases our expectations can spark the
beginning of something revolutionary in
other cases they have the power to
completely sabotage our outlook on
certain life events whether good or bad
expectations on data we play a crucial
role in our day-to-day lives they allow
us to make both significant decisions
and mundane ones
that we don’t even have time to think of
it think about anymore expecting that a
car will stop at a red light or that
your clothes will be clean after you put
them in the washing machine are things
that we don’t think twice about we
simply expect that these things will
happen based on prior experience the
complexities of expectations are not
mere thought experiments vast research
demonstrates how expectations really can
alter our behavior we constantly
witnessed the impact the impacts of
expectations in our everyday lives in
one study researchers asked participants
to taste several wines labeled with a
wide variety of prices brain scans of
subjects showed that different areas of
the brain activated depending on the
subjects expectations despite the fact
that they were really only given two
wines of the same price similarly
Parkinson’s patients were injected with
saline that they believed was either in
$1,000 or a $1,500 medication patients
who believed they had received the more
expensive medicine performed
significantly better on motor skills
tests in fact the effectiveness of the
premium placebo even rivaled their real
medication David Rock director of the
neural Leadership Institute found that
our inevitable disappointment when our
expectations are not met may actually be
the result of a chemical process in the
brain when something positive happens to
us the neurotransmitter dopamine is
released boosting our mood as a result
because we are able to identify this
good feeling it’s things much worse when
something does not go as expected as our
negative feelings significantly outweigh
the positive ones imagine that you’re
driving to school in the morning you’ve
taken the same roads to school every day
for the past five years so you know when
the lights change and how much time you
have to make it to the next light before
it turns red you don’t actually know
this you expect it what happens if
there’s an accident blocking your usual
route or if there’s a lot of traffic for
some unknown reason now you’re late to
school you get flustered or just drive
did and if you’re not paying attention
you could hit a car based on the fact
that you expected the light to be green
because of prior experience while
expectations we place on ourselves can
have a striking impact the expectations
we place on others can be equally
influential a Harvard study found that
when teachers received fabricated test
results that marked random student
students as destined for success they
treated these children notably
differently teachers gave their special
students significantly more feedback
significantly more opportunities and
significantly higher grades they truly
viewed these children as special and
destined for success even though they
were no different from their peers the
other classmates struggling with
feelings of inferiority experienced
lower IQ scores and far less
intellectual development due to their
teachers lowered expectations so why not
make a good first impression with your
teacher that first day of school or make
a good impression on anyone that for
that matter so that you influence their
expectations of you a benefit of
expectations is the often motivating
force they have on many people
expectations can make us work harder or
do things we never thought possible
let’s go back to rowing my teammates
expect me to show to practice every day
to push myself to the limit on the ERG
machines and in the boat and to take
care of myself so that our performance
as a team can elevate to a new level
these expectations are beneficial to
everyone on the team even though the
feeling we get from disappointing
ourselves is undesirable letting other
people down is even worse so how can we
tell the difference between the
beneficial and the detrimental how can
we ensure that our expectations will
allow us to move forward at first glance
it might seem that the secret to
avoiding disappointment is simply to not
have expectations at all in reality this
idea proves to be quite unrealistic as
predictions are formed mainly by
subconscious processes making it
essentially impossible for
us not to have any expectations another
thought that people tend to have is that
if we cannot plainly shut down the part
of our minds that creates these
expectations maybe we can find a way to
control them yet again we find ourselves
caught in a mind trap the ability to
manage our expectations is
extraordinarily difficult when we set
high expectations
we seem overconfident and ultimately end
up disappointed with the final result
when we lower our expectations
expectations negative thoughts overcrowd
our means of making logical decisions
because of this quandary I offer a two
step solution to adjust not the
formation of the expectation itself but
what to do when the outcome isn’t what
we expected let’s start out with an
example imagine on it’s Friday night and
you decided to reward yourself for a
week of hard work by going to a new
restaurant that plenty of friends and
co-workers had raved about it had a four
and a half star rating on Yelp and you
were prepared to have a good time once
you get there though the servers are
rude the food takes a long time to make
it to your table and the prices are
absurd you had set your expectations
very high but were ultimately
disappointed the first step is to take a
step back and evaluate the expectations
you had and why you had them you
expected the restaurant to be incredible
because of all the other people that had
recommended it the second step is to
look at the situation differently
instead of focusing on the bat look at
the good think about what the restaurant
did well instead the decorations are
beautiful the menu is very the food was
delicious once it arrived the benefits
of the restaurant clearly outweigh the
costs there you have it you successfully
changed your reality by changing your
perception about what a nice restaurant
should be once you came to the
conclusion that there were more positive
than negative things to focus on you are
no longer disappointed it’s not about
forcing yourself to develop new
expectations but how to turn the
unexpected into something favorable and
productive let’s connect this back to
rowing
I expected it to be simple and once I
could say with conviction that my
expectations were wildly inaccurate I
took a step back and reflected upon what
attacked what exactly I’d expected and
why I had expected it to be easy because
the only true exposure I had to rowing
through us through photos and videos
shown in a positive light such as
victorious team moments after winning a
race no one had even informed me about
what exactly I was getting myself into
step two is to identify all of the
benefits of rowing and compare them to
the costs you’ve heard me say it at
least twice during this presentation but
rowing is hard it’s a huge time
commitment and with the physical and
mental toll it requires to become
successful exhaustion is inevitable but
crew really is a great workout and I
love being on a team combined with the
yuphoria rowers experience after winning
a race and the mental perseverance you
develop while experiencing certain
hardships it is clear that the positive
aspects of rowing outweigh the negative
I never could have expected to become so
passionate and devoted to a sport so
willing to push myself and my team to be
the best we could possibly be and when
you win a race without sweet taste of
victory more than justifies the hard
work sweat and tears it took to get
there once I examine my previous
expectations I was successfully able to
change my reality and after all if you
are able to align your own expectations
with reality if you have a method of
turning initial disappointment into a
constructive and effective experience
you too can learn to not only expect the
unexpected but to turn the unexpected
into something unbelievable thank you
[Music] [Applause]
Please follow and like us: