hi I’m 43 years old and I stayed right
because I love the reaction that I get
let’s begin with something who I was I
was a rebel
an abnormal person unsteady Dumbo stupid
a person who could not concentrate and a
person who always was a trouble to her
family well these were the feathers that
I got on my calf pretty early in life I
still don’t have an explanation but I
could never memorize education does not
belong begin from school neither does it
end there that’s what is said I used to
sing I used to play the guitar and the
keyboard I used to record my music or I
used to sing play the guitar record on
one tape recorder then I would play that
and record on another tape recorder so I
would get the guitar my song I would
take seconds and play the piano along
with it I didn’t know it was called
mixing but I enjoyed doing that I used
to be a very good mimic when I was in
college I used to dance not the formal
classical dance but anything that made
me feel happy I would dance so at the
university level I would get a lot of
prizes but then there – I got a tag
because my parents wanted me to be a
doctor so the options in front of us
those days were either doctor engineer
and probably accounts or whatever and
everything required maths it needed
science and it needed something that I
need to memorize
I took science and then God saved my
patients I took a change because I used
to ask questions there and any time I
asked a question either my book was
thrown out of class
or they would say get out and I was an
obedient child I did so there came the
branding that you are an arrogant person
and you have no future because if you
are a science student
there is no use if you are interested in
all this and I was given several titles
by my professors from there came
graduation again matha was not good at
so the options were mats mmm I don’t
think you can do it
biology no chemistry no physics or you
don’t have brains for that history oh
you are not good at memorizing and all
that okay accounts Maps once again
numbers it would be a problem okay take
economics so I took economics and little
did I know that you needed to memorize
three four pages and five pages and the
last line would be this theory is not
accepted because of this for God’s sake
I asked my professor why the hell did I
have to buy her all this if you are
going to tell me this is not accepted so
then they she told me if you don’t know
what history is you cannot change
history so I said tell me about the
history that made a difference and it
still continued some element of it not
something that is thrown away and she
would tell me my sister too was an
economics student and she would say your
sister was way ahead of you she was
never like you
she had a focus alright so these were
the brandings that I get and then I
wanted to learn dance I wanted to get
into acting but you can’t blame my
family because they always felt a
daughter was unsafe outside so my mother
put only one option in front of me that
would give me the freedom to explore the
world ahead she said after you get
married do what you want
so marriage was that key all right the
key that would make me see the world
outside by the way it was a love
marriage the first love marriage
probably in my family when my mother
told me that after marriage you can do
what you want my only aim in life or the
goal was to find a husband I had a
friend and I married him and he knew
what all I wanted in life but
unfortunately he too was caught in the
so-called prescribed life of society
you’re married you are the husband right
so he comes back from office and we both
were looking at each other there were
times when we used to get irritated and
I told my husband I want to act I really
want to add it was not about the fame
but then I got my opportunities to meet
a couple of directors I met them and I
at 32 I looked like a 26 year old okay
and they would see me and they’d say oh
so are you studying I’ll say no I’m in
Bangalore in Bangalore do you live with
your family I say no I’m living with my
husband and child and they would say oh
then it’s a problem and I said why can’t
I act they said no because you are
married it is a problem I said but it’s
all about acting and I look nice you
said I look young no but still okay we
can do something for you you probably
can be the wife of a 50 year old or you
can be the sister of a 50 year old or
you could be the hero ins friend these
were the options I got I wasn’t ready
for that
not because of anything I was interested
in acting because I was interested in
the transformation the transformation of
getting into a character or the life so
that I as an actor could impact create
an impact I was not interested in being
the prop on screen I just was not
interested from there I was so upset
and then another thing that I realized
was to be an actor you need certain
things to qualify and something I could
not do anything much about that was my
physical attribute of my upper body not
being as big as is recommended as per
industry standards directors openly told
me that and they would ask me so what is
the measurement I would tell them they
said no that would be a problem and I
said no is the movie going to be about
this they said no but there is a
standard and our audience needs that so
I said that is why makeup is there they
said no it won’t work
I just looked at him come on we are
living in an era when movies are made
and you know what all if we can make
extraterrestrial Star Wars can be made
can’t you just recreate something of
your requirement I was so depressed and
who do I tell all this to I started
hating my physicality I slowly went
slipped into depression I did go from
Doctor to doctor in search of peace some
people even told me she has a mental
problem and then I just couldn’t handle
it more I started learning dance my
daughter was one year old and I just
started and I didn’t have a support
system so I used to take her with me in
the bassinet I took her I started
learning really well I used to dance
with her I used to tie her on my back
and I used to dance and while I used to
cook I used to practice after putting my
baby to sleep I used to practice and
slowly-slowly dance started getting my
becoming my life from there it so
happened that somebody saw me and asked
me Anita would you like to do theater
I said I’m married I have a child and I
have poor vital statistics so he said
why are you telling me that I said no
just in case you find out later I don’t
want to lose my character in the play he
said Anita your character name is
Vader bhaskar it is a central character
in the sense everybody’s character is
very prominent in a play that’s how it
is but your character is right from the
beginning of the play to the end I could
not believe it
and there was Vader busker from there
there are little little what I would say
television and this that I did but that
never gave me happiness because at every
point of time I was seeking approval
from everybody else
and then as I established myself
then came the biggest decision of my
life
I was establishing and slowly finding my
grounding when my husband got his job
transfer to a new city and just as I was
laying the foundation and the foundation
was getting strong lot of discussions
went but the only choice was I needed to
go there to save everything that we had
it was groundbreaking for me but I went
I was so desperate and you know
something the Millennial babies or the
millennial they are lucky Google Google
saved me completely I typed I want to
run ok I want to run away from Hyderabad
and they popped up run in Hyderabad be
so and so time in so-and-so place and it
was a Saturday and there was a number
given I reached there and I saw a group
of people running I ran through the
pocket which was four kilometers and
trust me each time I ran I said did we
complete four kilometres did we and no
you just completed 50 meters 100 meters
that’s how I started I loved that
feeling that I got and then through this
run they told me about the biggest event
in Hyderabad that is a marathon that was
held I went straight away and registered
for the marathon I didn’t know what
American was I registered for the 21
kilometer from a dancer I moved on to a
runner and then I used to ride a bike
when I was 16
my parents didn’t know that and I’m
sorry I didn’t tell you I once again
started writing bought a harley-davidson
my husband bought one for himself and I
encouraged him to buy because I knew
this was there and then he bought the
bike not realizing that his wife would
ride more I have completed 10,000
kilometers on the harley-davidson and he
has completed his 2500 so the point I
would like to make here is for the men
you are constantly told that if you cry
you’re not a man if you feel confused
you’re not a man be a man don’t wear
pink because you will be a woman don’t
wait because everything is
compartmentalized but can I tell you one
thing if you if a color is going to
decide your gender if wearing pink is
not going to make you a man you were
never born a man in the first place if
doing something like riding a motorbike
or getting out in the dark is going to
question the fact that remember you are
a woman you have no right to do that
you were never a woman in the first
place and when you are able to identify
with in your about your gender and you
come out in the open
trust me it is amazing to have both
within you the true reality is
acceptance
ask yourself within what is it that I
really want what is it that makes me
happy I would say life is like driving a
car you have the rearview mirror you
have the side mirrors what I was is the
rear view mirror and the side mirrors
the people who either created a scar
within me or had an effect on me
are the sight mirrors so I have the rear
view mirror I have the side mirrors I
choose to continue my journey because it
is a limitless journey and I have the
power within in this limitless journey I
need
to see the rearview mirror and the side
mirrors because that is what helps me
plan my travel isn’t it but if I choose
to only stare into the rearview mirror
or the side mirrors I will never be able
to go on if I have reached this far it
is to go ahead in life you can be
inspired by somebody else’s story but to
find inspiration from within you have to
be open you need all the humility and
you have to have some element of
substance within you you may hear a lot
of inspirational talks trust me they
really make a difference in your lives
but try not to focus about the little
things that they went through or the
sadness they went through because
empathy or sympathy is a killer what I
want you to focus on is the way they
bounced back what are the qualities they
had the three words I would like to
leave you with are the three words I
carry with me as my value cuts one is
respect second is accountability and the
third is resilience respect yourself
your priority is you what lies within
you your priority is your happiness
respect others never burn bridges
because you never know which bridge will
take you back
accountability be accountable for your
actions whether you fail or whether you
succeed it is your problem it is your
responsibility failures don’t mean the
end of the world
failures means it is time for another
beginning that’s it and the third is
resilience you need to bounce back and
to bounce back you have to be really
flexible it’s okay that’s it so with that I thank you all very much
because I love the reaction that I get
let’s begin with something who I was I
was a rebel
an abnormal person unsteady Dumbo stupid
a person who could not concentrate and a
person who always was a trouble to her
family well these were the feathers that
I got on my calf pretty early in life I
still don’t have an explanation but I
could never memorize education does not
belong begin from school neither does it
end there that’s what is said I used to
sing I used to play the guitar and the
keyboard I used to record my music or I
used to sing play the guitar record on
one tape recorder then I would play that
and record on another tape recorder so I
would get the guitar my song I would
take seconds and play the piano along
with it I didn’t know it was called
mixing but I enjoyed doing that I used
to be a very good mimic when I was in
college I used to dance not the formal
classical dance but anything that made
me feel happy I would dance so at the
university level I would get a lot of
prizes but then there – I got a tag
because my parents wanted me to be a
doctor so the options in front of us
those days were either doctor engineer
and probably accounts or whatever and
everything required maths it needed
science and it needed something that I
need to memorize
I took science and then God saved my
patients I took a change because I used
to ask questions there and any time I
asked a question either my book was
thrown out of class
or they would say get out and I was an
obedient child I did so there came the
branding that you are an arrogant person
and you have no future because if you
are a science student
there is no use if you are interested in
all this and I was given several titles
by my professors from there came
graduation again matha was not good at
so the options were mats mmm I don’t
think you can do it
biology no chemistry no physics or you
don’t have brains for that history oh
you are not good at memorizing and all
that okay accounts Maps once again
numbers it would be a problem okay take
economics so I took economics and little
did I know that you needed to memorize
three four pages and five pages and the
last line would be this theory is not
accepted because of this for God’s sake
I asked my professor why the hell did I
have to buy her all this if you are
going to tell me this is not accepted so
then they she told me if you don’t know
what history is you cannot change
history so I said tell me about the
history that made a difference and it
still continued some element of it not
something that is thrown away and she
would tell me my sister too was an
economics student and she would say your
sister was way ahead of you she was
never like you
she had a focus alright so these were
the brandings that I get and then I
wanted to learn dance I wanted to get
into acting but you can’t blame my
family because they always felt a
daughter was unsafe outside so my mother
put only one option in front of me that
would give me the freedom to explore the
world ahead she said after you get
married do what you want
so marriage was that key all right the
key that would make me see the world
outside by the way it was a love
marriage the first love marriage
probably in my family when my mother
told me that after marriage you can do
what you want my only aim in life or the
goal was to find a husband I had a
friend and I married him and he knew
what all I wanted in life but
unfortunately he too was caught in the
so-called prescribed life of society
you’re married you are the husband right
so he comes back from office and we both
were looking at each other there were
times when we used to get irritated and
I told my husband I want to act I really
want to add it was not about the fame
but then I got my opportunities to meet
a couple of directors I met them and I
at 32 I looked like a 26 year old okay
and they would see me and they’d say oh
so are you studying I’ll say no I’m in
Bangalore in Bangalore do you live with
your family I say no I’m living with my
husband and child and they would say oh
then it’s a problem and I said why can’t
I act they said no because you are
married it is a problem I said but it’s
all about acting and I look nice you
said I look young no but still okay we
can do something for you you probably
can be the wife of a 50 year old or you
can be the sister of a 50 year old or
you could be the hero ins friend these
were the options I got I wasn’t ready
for that
not because of anything I was interested
in acting because I was interested in
the transformation the transformation of
getting into a character or the life so
that I as an actor could impact create
an impact I was not interested in being
the prop on screen I just was not
interested from there I was so upset
and then another thing that I realized
was to be an actor you need certain
things to qualify and something I could
not do anything much about that was my
physical attribute of my upper body not
being as big as is recommended as per
industry standards directors openly told
me that and they would ask me so what is
the measurement I would tell them they
said no that would be a problem and I
said no is the movie going to be about
this they said no but there is a
standard and our audience needs that so
I said that is why makeup is there they
said no it won’t work
I just looked at him come on we are
living in an era when movies are made
and you know what all if we can make
extraterrestrial Star Wars can be made
can’t you just recreate something of
your requirement I was so depressed and
who do I tell all this to I started
hating my physicality I slowly went
slipped into depression I did go from
Doctor to doctor in search of peace some
people even told me she has a mental
problem and then I just couldn’t handle
it more I started learning dance my
daughter was one year old and I just
started and I didn’t have a support
system so I used to take her with me in
the bassinet I took her I started
learning really well I used to dance
with her I used to tie her on my back
and I used to dance and while I used to
cook I used to practice after putting my
baby to sleep I used to practice and
slowly-slowly dance started getting my
becoming my life from there it so
happened that somebody saw me and asked
me Anita would you like to do theater
I said I’m married I have a child and I
have poor vital statistics so he said
why are you telling me that I said no
just in case you find out later I don’t
want to lose my character in the play he
said Anita your character name is
Vader bhaskar it is a central character
in the sense everybody’s character is
very prominent in a play that’s how it
is but your character is right from the
beginning of the play to the end I could
not believe it
and there was Vader busker from there
there are little little what I would say
television and this that I did but that
never gave me happiness because at every
point of time I was seeking approval
from everybody else
and then as I established myself
then came the biggest decision of my
life
I was establishing and slowly finding my
grounding when my husband got his job
transfer to a new city and just as I was
laying the foundation and the foundation
was getting strong lot of discussions
went but the only choice was I needed to
go there to save everything that we had
it was groundbreaking for me but I went
I was so desperate and you know
something the Millennial babies or the
millennial they are lucky Google Google
saved me completely I typed I want to
run ok I want to run away from Hyderabad
and they popped up run in Hyderabad be
so and so time in so-and-so place and it
was a Saturday and there was a number
given I reached there and I saw a group
of people running I ran through the
pocket which was four kilometers and
trust me each time I ran I said did we
complete four kilometres did we and no
you just completed 50 meters 100 meters
that’s how I started I loved that
feeling that I got and then through this
run they told me about the biggest event
in Hyderabad that is a marathon that was
held I went straight away and registered
for the marathon I didn’t know what
American was I registered for the 21
kilometer from a dancer I moved on to a
runner and then I used to ride a bike
when I was 16
my parents didn’t know that and I’m
sorry I didn’t tell you I once again
started writing bought a harley-davidson
my husband bought one for himself and I
encouraged him to buy because I knew
this was there and then he bought the
bike not realizing that his wife would
ride more I have completed 10,000
kilometers on the harley-davidson and he
has completed his 2500 so the point I
would like to make here is for the men
you are constantly told that if you cry
you’re not a man if you feel confused
you’re not a man be a man don’t wear
pink because you will be a woman don’t
wait because everything is
compartmentalized but can I tell you one
thing if you if a color is going to
decide your gender if wearing pink is
not going to make you a man you were
never born a man in the first place if
doing something like riding a motorbike
or getting out in the dark is going to
question the fact that remember you are
a woman you have no right to do that
you were never a woman in the first
place and when you are able to identify
with in your about your gender and you
come out in the open
trust me it is amazing to have both
within you the true reality is
acceptance
ask yourself within what is it that I
really want what is it that makes me
happy I would say life is like driving a
car you have the rearview mirror you
have the side mirrors what I was is the
rear view mirror and the side mirrors
the people who either created a scar
within me or had an effect on me
are the sight mirrors so I have the rear
view mirror I have the side mirrors I
choose to continue my journey because it
is a limitless journey and I have the
power within in this limitless journey I
need
to see the rearview mirror and the side
mirrors because that is what helps me
plan my travel isn’t it but if I choose
to only stare into the rearview mirror
or the side mirrors I will never be able
to go on if I have reached this far it
is to go ahead in life you can be
inspired by somebody else’s story but to
find inspiration from within you have to
be open you need all the humility and
you have to have some element of
substance within you you may hear a lot
of inspirational talks trust me they
really make a difference in your lives
but try not to focus about the little
things that they went through or the
sadness they went through because
empathy or sympathy is a killer what I
want you to focus on is the way they
bounced back what are the qualities they
had the three words I would like to
leave you with are the three words I
carry with me as my value cuts one is
respect second is accountability and the
third is resilience respect yourself
your priority is you what lies within
you your priority is your happiness
respect others never burn bridges
because you never know which bridge will
take you back
accountability be accountable for your
actions whether you fail or whether you
succeed it is your problem it is your
responsibility failures don’t mean the
end of the world
failures means it is time for another
beginning that’s it and the third is
resilience you need to bounce back and
to bounce back you have to be really
flexible it’s okay that’s it so with that I thank you all very much
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