[Music]
dr. McClarty I have to make a confession
here I think that I kind of got a little
confused and what the purpose of this
talk was about and I’ve come dressed as
a homebuilder because I thought I was
supposed to talk about different
professions that maybe the audience
might be interested in but I as I look
out over the crowd I believe that there
aren’t very many people here that want
to build homes but they might want to
offer hope or build hope for others
so I’ll do my best to make the
correction and get past this little
rocky start that we’ve started here
welcome everyone I want to talk to you
about the two building blocks that I’ve
discovered are part of everyone’s future
can anyone tell me what letter is
missing in this word I have you ever
felt like the choices that you make are
insignificant and don’t really matter
that they really don’t impact your life
or the community that you live in I know
I have felt that way but I’m here to
tell you tonight I believe that one of
the key components to every one of our
futures is that our choices do matter
our choices do impact lives of ourselves
our own life and others around us let’s
look at the second building block of our
futures hope how many of you have ever
run a 5k or half marathon raise your
hand well a few of you have fortunately
or unfortunately depending on your
person
effective I have also if you’ve run a 5k
or a marathon those people that are on
the sidelines as you’re headed up that
mountain that seems insurmountable or
those people that are at the finish line
cheering you on those are hope builders
they see the potential in a few seconds
they can impact our lives more than
hours or days of training as you can see
I’ve brought a tool box here and I’m
kind of dressed appropriately for that
and I I would encourage you to think
about what your strengths are we have
I’ve asked for some people to join me on
stage and they should be coming out any
time now let’s welcome our volunteers
please
I have offered them some baggage out of
my toolbox and the lady on the end would
you please tell us what you believe the
profession is that I’ve assigned to you
a judge is that something you would have
ever dreamed of being or having a career
as are you interested in studying law no
but sometimes life hands us baggage
correct
sometimes we’re handed something that we
don’t necessarily want to own or do
gentleman in the white coat what is your
profession cardio doctor okay yes you
are a heart doctor is that something you
would want to do in life no no okay well
but see I’m getting to assign to you
what I think you should do and I believe
your profession should be a heart doctor
gentlemen what what is your profession
did you choose that or was it handed to
you by your actions well sometimes we
choose things that we wouldn’t
necessarily dream of being but because
of our choices we have to take on that
responsibility young lady what is your
profession
how on earth did you guess that so
appropriately yes is that something you
really would have chosen well of course
not
let’s give a round of applause for our
volunteers thank you for for
participating the purpose of that a
little bit of experiment is to let us
all think about what do we take
ownership of that someone else is handed
to us that maybe society expects of us
are we owning or taking baggage that’s
not ours if there’s nothing that you
remember from this talk after you leave
here and you reflect on what you’ve
heard I want you to remember this you
are responsible for the choices that you
make don’t pick up the baggage of the
harm the hurt some of those things that
we try to own or other people want us to
own don’t carry that remember your
responsibility is to own the choices you
make so you can choose to be the
architect of your future I would
encourage you to dream big if you have
your phone with you I want you to pull
it out and I want you to find what you
where you put your notes how you remind
yourself of things I want you to think
about what you’ve always wanted to do
where you’ve always wanted to go or who
you’ve always wanted to be over the
course of this talk as things come to
your mind put that in there
when you leave here build on that are
you doing what you’ve dreamed of doing
are you living the life that you’ve
always wanted – are you going the places
that you’ve always dreamed of going
think back to when you were a child what
did you dream of doing being places you
wanted to go this is your life the days
the minutes they’re limited for each of
us are you dreaming
are you living are you being as I look
out over the crowd I I see many interior
designers you see the potential in
people you see their beauty what they
were created to be and you even offer
them hope thank you thank you the world
is a better place because of that I’ve
brought a storybook with me how many of
you have had a story read to you
recently oh you know well a few out
there but most of you’ve been missing
out listen up the dark-haired little
girl with the hazel colored eyes grew up
in the big city of Indianapolis she was
born the youngest of six children when
she was six weeks old she almost died
from whooping cough the doctor called
her a miracle baby her mother and father
were divorced when she was very young
her daddy was originally from New York
and he was a skilled carpenter and
gardener but he struggled with
alcoholism to numb the pain from his
childhood
the little girl remembered visiting her
daddy and his Salvation Army shelter
where he repaired donated furniture to
resell in the thrift store
her mother completed school through the
8th grade
and struggled to keep all six of the
children clothed and fed the little girl
can remember her mom attending classes
at Goodwill to get her GED although
unable to accomplish this goal her mom
would do janitorial work and later was
employed for several years at a local
fast-food restaurant they lived in a
three-bedroom house the little girl can
remember the embarrassment of receiving
government assistance for food and
someone always having to help them out
she also remembers one year going to
school with holes in her shoes and just
seeming different than everyone else the
family did not own a vehicle for several
years they would walk take public
transportation or someone would take
them where they needed to go back before
the little girl was born ladies from a
local religious organization befriended
her mother this gave her mom a sense of
belonging as she chose to start her
religious journey although
well-intentioned her mother was very
easily manipulated and misguided as time
passed this group controlled more and
more of their daily lives
rules determined their clothing and
hairstyles and whether or not they were
permitted to a watch or even own a
television
she was spanked for watching TV after
visiting her father’s house jewelry and
makeup were definitely not permitted the
little girl remembered her mom
destroying any picture that she had of
herself if she was wearing jewelry or
makeup in it she was a beautiful lady
and now all that the family had is a
memory of those pictures the list of
do’s and don’ts was quite lengthy and it
changed at the whim of new leadership
this legalistic environment required so
much exterior perfection
many of the men acted out in sexual
deviance seized against the children at
the age of seven a brother-in-law who is
also a church member did inappropriate
things to the little girl as an
adolescent approaching her teen years
another brother-in-law asked the mom if
the little girl could come and stay
during the week to help his three
children get ready for school see his
wife the little girl’s sister was a lady
of the night he would buy the girls the
girl clothes candy perfume things she
didn’t get at home she remembers her
sister coming in one evening and
throwing money in her face saying here
you take this money I’ve been out
working to make it so that you can have
it she found out later that the man was
encouraging his wife to make money this
way he even took the girl to his parents
house who knew who she was how old she
was and they protected him and didn’t
report him to law enforcement one day
her mother found the letters in her
bedroom with inappropriate messages from
the man – the girl the mother became
very upset and told the girl she could
have done things differently to not
tempt the man she had the girl he’ll
pick a switch and spanked her for her
actions within days he made plans to
take her from her home in the middle of
the night through a bedroom window he
took her across several state lines to
Florida Missouri in Texas all the while
avoiding law enforcement except for the
brother-in-law who was an officer who
took them in and protected him again at
this time she was 15 years old family
religious organization members and
educators who saw him drop her off at
school daily – nothing
to stop what was going on she was away
from her home for most of her freshman
year of high school the mother burned
the girls clothes and gave away her
personal belongings while she was away
her parents also remarried during this
time
this caused the teen to question if she
was the reason they weren’t together all
of those previous years well away from
home she was introduced to things a
child should never be exposed to alcohol
drugs pornography in Missouri she
applied for a job at a hotel after
giving her social security number and
telling the manager that she was 18 she
was hired because they did not check her
records she began to discover her
independence and that the child predator
couldn’t control her she decided to move
in with friends strangers really he
became very mad and punched a
refrigerator breaking his hand he went
to where she was staying and convinced
her to get to his place to sort through
her belongings everything she owned he
had purchased for her the teenager
became very angry when she realized that
he had passed his exit and she was he
was taking her home to her mom and dad
she arrived home two weeks before her
16th birthday unfortunately the child
predator went on to hurt other children
and that’s a story for another day
uncertain of how she was going to handle
her teenager her mom sent her to a
boarding school in Cincinnati due to
missing most of her freshman year of
high school she was tested and placed
directly into her sophomore year she
just had to double up on a few classes
she would work from 7:00 a.m. to noon at
the school’s reception area as their
greeter and phone operator to help pay
for her room and board everyone acted as
if the abuse never happened
counseling or therapy wasn’t provided or
even discussed during this time she
would travel home on the weekends and
was able to get to know her dad better
on Tuesday February 11th 1986 in her
dorm room she woke up from a dream where
death was knocking on her door she went
to pull the curtain back and look out as
she pulled it back the cloaked figure
raised its hood and she saw the face of
her dad the next morning she told her
roommate about it and decided it was
probably something they had eaten the
night before three days later on
Valentine’s Day she went home for the
weekend pulling into her parents
driveway and seeing all of the vehicles
she felt strangely prepared for the news
of her dad’s death that awaited for her
on the other side of the door it took
years to unlock the pain with the key
that had been provided to her in that
dream due to financial difficulty she
returned home her second semester of her
senior year to graduate with a senior
class of over 700 students instead of
the less than 30 in the previous class
she worked nights to help her mom pay
their utility bills
she remembered on occasion being jostled
awake by classmates in her first period
chemistry class due to the lack of sleep
for years she had difficulty trusting
others and struggled with fear of
abandonment due the lack of protection
from people that a child should be able
to depend upon she also wasted a lot of
energy and time in her adult life being
angry for what happened to her as a
child I see sadness on some of your
faces but I didn’t come here to make you
sad I came here to offer you hope see
that little girl was me and I believe
strongly in the ability of people to
overcome difficulties and
life through the choices that they make
and the hope that is offered to them the
picture that you can see is the house
that I grew up in the little baby in the
arms of the mother in this picture that
is me before my mother and dad were
divorced the little boy in that picture
became a teenager that used to drive his
dad home from the bars so that he
wouldn’t wreck another vehicle but
unfortunately my brother continued in
the steps of our dad he drank so much in
his life that he got to where his
pancreas would not work a little more
than five years ago he lost a lot of
weight and was very ill two weeks before
he died I talked about a choices
presentation this presentation that I
give to students and adults
he asked me said will you continue to
help reach the kids who grew up like us
I’m doing my best to keep my promise the
choices we make impact our lives this
picture you can see I didn’t go to
alcohol I went to food for comfort I
gained a lot of weight in my 30s the
doctors told me my doctor told me that
my blood pressure was 200 over 110 but
see people that have been abused
sometimes will do things to harm
themselves to cover up the pain that
they feel and that’s what I did by
overeating so I didn’t want to be
unhealthy when I found out that I could
possibly have a stroke so I started
walking I started running I ran a 5k I
ran a marathon
I’ve ridden bikes up mountains and I’ve
even jumped out of an airplane twice I’m
not sure that that contributes to
healthy living but it is exhilarating
I’m also a biker mom and in my toolbox
I have a costume for that what’s in your
toolbox
what are you doing or what are you not
doing that you want to do
are you living life to its fullest I
have the opportunity now to live my
dream I get to work in our governor’s
office governor ASA Hutchinson’s office
and I get to help make our state a
better place for the children who are
most vulnerable but not only do our
choices affect us our choices also
affect those that are closest to us the
two little girls in the middle of this
picture of this frame those are my
daughters had I left them when they were
that age where would they be would they
have been able to go to the Wall of
China travel to Europe go to law school
maybe but would it have been more
difficult likely so as we prepare to
close our choices are like the stitches
in my first quilt some choices are
mistakes needing to be ripped out and
reconstructed again some lack perfection
but are strong enough to keep and to
learn from while other choices are
perfect all of them making up the
masterpiece we call life let’s go back
remember the little I I believe every
choice you make is significant for your
future and for the people that you care
most about life is the sum of our
choices thank you
dr. McClarty I have to make a confession
here I think that I kind of got a little
confused and what the purpose of this
talk was about and I’ve come dressed as
a homebuilder because I thought I was
supposed to talk about different
professions that maybe the audience
might be interested in but I as I look
out over the crowd I believe that there
aren’t very many people here that want
to build homes but they might want to
offer hope or build hope for others
so I’ll do my best to make the
correction and get past this little
rocky start that we’ve started here
welcome everyone I want to talk to you
about the two building blocks that I’ve
discovered are part of everyone’s future
can anyone tell me what letter is
missing in this word I have you ever
felt like the choices that you make are
insignificant and don’t really matter
that they really don’t impact your life
or the community that you live in I know
I have felt that way but I’m here to
tell you tonight I believe that one of
the key components to every one of our
futures is that our choices do matter
our choices do impact lives of ourselves
our own life and others around us let’s
look at the second building block of our
futures hope how many of you have ever
run a 5k or half marathon raise your
hand well a few of you have fortunately
or unfortunately depending on your
person
effective I have also if you’ve run a 5k
or a marathon those people that are on
the sidelines as you’re headed up that
mountain that seems insurmountable or
those people that are at the finish line
cheering you on those are hope builders
they see the potential in a few seconds
they can impact our lives more than
hours or days of training as you can see
I’ve brought a tool box here and I’m
kind of dressed appropriately for that
and I I would encourage you to think
about what your strengths are we have
I’ve asked for some people to join me on
stage and they should be coming out any
time now let’s welcome our volunteers
please
I have offered them some baggage out of
my toolbox and the lady on the end would
you please tell us what you believe the
profession is that I’ve assigned to you
a judge is that something you would have
ever dreamed of being or having a career
as are you interested in studying law no
but sometimes life hands us baggage
correct
sometimes we’re handed something that we
don’t necessarily want to own or do
gentleman in the white coat what is your
profession cardio doctor okay yes you
are a heart doctor is that something you
would want to do in life no no okay well
but see I’m getting to assign to you
what I think you should do and I believe
your profession should be a heart doctor
gentlemen what what is your profession
did you choose that or was it handed to
you by your actions well sometimes we
choose things that we wouldn’t
necessarily dream of being but because
of our choices we have to take on that
responsibility young lady what is your
profession
how on earth did you guess that so
appropriately yes is that something you
really would have chosen well of course
not
let’s give a round of applause for our
volunteers thank you for for
participating the purpose of that a
little bit of experiment is to let us
all think about what do we take
ownership of that someone else is handed
to us that maybe society expects of us
are we owning or taking baggage that’s
not ours if there’s nothing that you
remember from this talk after you leave
here and you reflect on what you’ve
heard I want you to remember this you
are responsible for the choices that you
make don’t pick up the baggage of the
harm the hurt some of those things that
we try to own or other people want us to
own don’t carry that remember your
responsibility is to own the choices you
make so you can choose to be the
architect of your future I would
encourage you to dream big if you have
your phone with you I want you to pull
it out and I want you to find what you
where you put your notes how you remind
yourself of things I want you to think
about what you’ve always wanted to do
where you’ve always wanted to go or who
you’ve always wanted to be over the
course of this talk as things come to
your mind put that in there
when you leave here build on that are
you doing what you’ve dreamed of doing
are you living the life that you’ve
always wanted – are you going the places
that you’ve always dreamed of going
think back to when you were a child what
did you dream of doing being places you
wanted to go this is your life the days
the minutes they’re limited for each of
us are you dreaming
are you living are you being as I look
out over the crowd I I see many interior
designers you see the potential in
people you see their beauty what they
were created to be and you even offer
them hope thank you thank you the world
is a better place because of that I’ve
brought a storybook with me how many of
you have had a story read to you
recently oh you know well a few out
there but most of you’ve been missing
out listen up the dark-haired little
girl with the hazel colored eyes grew up
in the big city of Indianapolis she was
born the youngest of six children when
she was six weeks old she almost died
from whooping cough the doctor called
her a miracle baby her mother and father
were divorced when she was very young
her daddy was originally from New York
and he was a skilled carpenter and
gardener but he struggled with
alcoholism to numb the pain from his
childhood
the little girl remembered visiting her
daddy and his Salvation Army shelter
where he repaired donated furniture to
resell in the thrift store
her mother completed school through the
8th grade
and struggled to keep all six of the
children clothed and fed the little girl
can remember her mom attending classes
at Goodwill to get her GED although
unable to accomplish this goal her mom
would do janitorial work and later was
employed for several years at a local
fast-food restaurant they lived in a
three-bedroom house the little girl can
remember the embarrassment of receiving
government assistance for food and
someone always having to help them out
she also remembers one year going to
school with holes in her shoes and just
seeming different than everyone else the
family did not own a vehicle for several
years they would walk take public
transportation or someone would take
them where they needed to go back before
the little girl was born ladies from a
local religious organization befriended
her mother this gave her mom a sense of
belonging as she chose to start her
religious journey although
well-intentioned her mother was very
easily manipulated and misguided as time
passed this group controlled more and
more of their daily lives
rules determined their clothing and
hairstyles and whether or not they were
permitted to a watch or even own a
television
she was spanked for watching TV after
visiting her father’s house jewelry and
makeup were definitely not permitted the
little girl remembered her mom
destroying any picture that she had of
herself if she was wearing jewelry or
makeup in it she was a beautiful lady
and now all that the family had is a
memory of those pictures the list of
do’s and don’ts was quite lengthy and it
changed at the whim of new leadership
this legalistic environment required so
much exterior perfection
many of the men acted out in sexual
deviance seized against the children at
the age of seven a brother-in-law who is
also a church member did inappropriate
things to the little girl as an
adolescent approaching her teen years
another brother-in-law asked the mom if
the little girl could come and stay
during the week to help his three
children get ready for school see his
wife the little girl’s sister was a lady
of the night he would buy the girls the
girl clothes candy perfume things she
didn’t get at home she remembers her
sister coming in one evening and
throwing money in her face saying here
you take this money I’ve been out
working to make it so that you can have
it she found out later that the man was
encouraging his wife to make money this
way he even took the girl to his parents
house who knew who she was how old she
was and they protected him and didn’t
report him to law enforcement one day
her mother found the letters in her
bedroom with inappropriate messages from
the man – the girl the mother became
very upset and told the girl she could
have done things differently to not
tempt the man she had the girl he’ll
pick a switch and spanked her for her
actions within days he made plans to
take her from her home in the middle of
the night through a bedroom window he
took her across several state lines to
Florida Missouri in Texas all the while
avoiding law enforcement except for the
brother-in-law who was an officer who
took them in and protected him again at
this time she was 15 years old family
religious organization members and
educators who saw him drop her off at
school daily – nothing
to stop what was going on she was away
from her home for most of her freshman
year of high school the mother burned
the girls clothes and gave away her
personal belongings while she was away
her parents also remarried during this
time
this caused the teen to question if she
was the reason they weren’t together all
of those previous years well away from
home she was introduced to things a
child should never be exposed to alcohol
drugs pornography in Missouri she
applied for a job at a hotel after
giving her social security number and
telling the manager that she was 18 she
was hired because they did not check her
records she began to discover her
independence and that the child predator
couldn’t control her she decided to move
in with friends strangers really he
became very mad and punched a
refrigerator breaking his hand he went
to where she was staying and convinced
her to get to his place to sort through
her belongings everything she owned he
had purchased for her the teenager
became very angry when she realized that
he had passed his exit and she was he
was taking her home to her mom and dad
she arrived home two weeks before her
16th birthday unfortunately the child
predator went on to hurt other children
and that’s a story for another day
uncertain of how she was going to handle
her teenager her mom sent her to a
boarding school in Cincinnati due to
missing most of her freshman year of
high school she was tested and placed
directly into her sophomore year she
just had to double up on a few classes
she would work from 7:00 a.m. to noon at
the school’s reception area as their
greeter and phone operator to help pay
for her room and board everyone acted as
if the abuse never happened
counseling or therapy wasn’t provided or
even discussed during this time she
would travel home on the weekends and
was able to get to know her dad better
on Tuesday February 11th 1986 in her
dorm room she woke up from a dream where
death was knocking on her door she went
to pull the curtain back and look out as
she pulled it back the cloaked figure
raised its hood and she saw the face of
her dad the next morning she told her
roommate about it and decided it was
probably something they had eaten the
night before three days later on
Valentine’s Day she went home for the
weekend pulling into her parents
driveway and seeing all of the vehicles
she felt strangely prepared for the news
of her dad’s death that awaited for her
on the other side of the door it took
years to unlock the pain with the key
that had been provided to her in that
dream due to financial difficulty she
returned home her second semester of her
senior year to graduate with a senior
class of over 700 students instead of
the less than 30 in the previous class
she worked nights to help her mom pay
their utility bills
she remembered on occasion being jostled
awake by classmates in her first period
chemistry class due to the lack of sleep
for years she had difficulty trusting
others and struggled with fear of
abandonment due the lack of protection
from people that a child should be able
to depend upon she also wasted a lot of
energy and time in her adult life being
angry for what happened to her as a
child I see sadness on some of your
faces but I didn’t come here to make you
sad I came here to offer you hope see
that little girl was me and I believe
strongly in the ability of people to
overcome difficulties and
life through the choices that they make
and the hope that is offered to them the
picture that you can see is the house
that I grew up in the little baby in the
arms of the mother in this picture that
is me before my mother and dad were
divorced the little boy in that picture
became a teenager that used to drive his
dad home from the bars so that he
wouldn’t wreck another vehicle but
unfortunately my brother continued in
the steps of our dad he drank so much in
his life that he got to where his
pancreas would not work a little more
than five years ago he lost a lot of
weight and was very ill two weeks before
he died I talked about a choices
presentation this presentation that I
give to students and adults
he asked me said will you continue to
help reach the kids who grew up like us
I’m doing my best to keep my promise the
choices we make impact our lives this
picture you can see I didn’t go to
alcohol I went to food for comfort I
gained a lot of weight in my 30s the
doctors told me my doctor told me that
my blood pressure was 200 over 110 but
see people that have been abused
sometimes will do things to harm
themselves to cover up the pain that
they feel and that’s what I did by
overeating so I didn’t want to be
unhealthy when I found out that I could
possibly have a stroke so I started
walking I started running I ran a 5k I
ran a marathon
I’ve ridden bikes up mountains and I’ve
even jumped out of an airplane twice I’m
not sure that that contributes to
healthy living but it is exhilarating
I’m also a biker mom and in my toolbox
I have a costume for that what’s in your
toolbox
what are you doing or what are you not
doing that you want to do
are you living life to its fullest I
have the opportunity now to live my
dream I get to work in our governor’s
office governor ASA Hutchinson’s office
and I get to help make our state a
better place for the children who are
most vulnerable but not only do our
choices affect us our choices also
affect those that are closest to us the
two little girls in the middle of this
picture of this frame those are my
daughters had I left them when they were
that age where would they be would they
have been able to go to the Wall of
China travel to Europe go to law school
maybe but would it have been more
difficult likely so as we prepare to
close our choices are like the stitches
in my first quilt some choices are
mistakes needing to be ripped out and
reconstructed again some lack perfection
but are strong enough to keep and to
learn from while other choices are
perfect all of them making up the
masterpiece we call life let’s go back
remember the little I I believe every
choice you make is significant for your
future and for the people that you care
most about life is the sum of our
choices thank you
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