everyone know that this talk catches on
touches on a sensitive topic and may
trigger certain emotions or feelings or
memories and if as a result need to take
a moment from the room please feel free
to do so Benjamin Franklin once said and
I’m paraphrasing here if in this world
nothing can be said for certain except
for death and taxes and as much as we
all might fear April 15th and EF filing
our taxes there are loopholes and
avoidances just ask President Trump
which really only leaves death as the
one true guarantee in life as a result
death is the ultimate change and one may
experience because either you passed or
someone else did the person being a
close relative a friend an acquaintance
or perhaps a stranger they heard about
on the news now this isn’t a talk about
what happens after you die the afterlife
or related topics like incarnation I’m
not here to discuss the cultural
meanings behind death to describe
different widget ceremonies surrounding
death I’m not a fan tala gist or person
who studies death they keep me way too
busy instant activities to have a hobby
like that
the term fate ology comes from the Greek
Santos who was the personification of
death in Greek mythology the interim
presentation of the Grim Reaper – the
scythe and with angel like wings but not
here discuss any of that this is a
different talk entirely I would instead
like to share what I’ve learned from
losing people during my life and talk
about how I’ve turned the most negative
tragedies in my life into positive
lessons my hope is that you leave this
talk not sad but rather able to
translate these lessons into positive
changes for your own life in order to
lay the foundation for these
life-changing lessons I think it’s
important that I share three significant
people that I’ve lost during my life
these three role models all passed
during different stages of my life and
as a result affected me in different
ways in ninth grade Peter Goldberg was
one of my best friends a fraternity
brother in college Phil littleengine Jew
air
and on December 1st 2009 poppy Dave all
men all represent various ideals to me
and I found that these their lessons and
our experience that we shared all bring
back to these four main life-changing
points one laughs and not just the big
things but at the small things too
laughter is a powerful tool some say it
heals all and it’s a perfect remedy
whether it was Pete’s outgoing and no
fear personality Phil’s jokes or Poppy’s
laughs my most vivid memories with these
three gentlemen are my times we laugh
together in my grandparents kitchen when
you open the refrigerator door it blocks
the doorway from the kitchen to the
dining room and every once in a while
when grandma was in the fridge fine
trying to find something papi would
stand in the doorway and as grandma
closed the refrigerator door to reveal
papi standing there he’d kind of jump
out and scare a little bit and grandma
would scream and say stop that and
they’d laugh together we all have busy
lives some of us are in school some of
us have busy home and personal lives
some of us were working 40 plus hours a
week and some of us trying to balance
all three of those things and then some
but I’m willing to bet that during a
stressful week if you’re able to laugh
or joke about something even the
smallest thing your day would become
infinitely better if you’ve had the good
fortune to come by the Student
Activities office during the academic
year
it is quite busy much like many of the
other offices on campus those always
students coming in and out of the office
especially on the weekends out on the
evenings planning their various events
getting ready for their different group
activities needs to say it’s very
stressful but we’re always laughing
about something finding the humor and
the smallest things and it creates a
very positive work environment plus the
student workers love and I mean love my
jokes they’re on the rise right now to
speak up say what’s on your mind reach
out to a friend in need
don’t wait until tomorrow to talk about
it we never know what life has in store
for us tomorrow we don’t know who and
who won’t be here later who will meet
tomorrow a week from now or what random
serious events will affect us down the
road based on this theory
I encourage you to communicate with the
people around you not just through your
mobile devices good queue on the ring
take your face out of the phone put away
the snapchats
stop doing the digital likes and have a
real conversation by a show of hands
whose text message from across their
suite to the roommate or in the
residence halls we wrap out across the
house to a family member asking the
simple question I had a college roommate
did that back when I aim was still big
and I never understood that by a show of
hands who talks to their parents once a
week at least once a week or goes home
to have dinner or something something
like that with them my fraternity
brother Phil committed suicide three
years after he graduated college he had
so much going for him is working for
ESPN and his dream job has a great
family a great group of friends and to
this day I’m not really sure why he did
that I bill was a great listener he was
the guy in the fraternity that younger
guys will go to with questions and
concerns we wanted to vent or complain
and he just knew what to say he had such
great wise words but having experienced
that I would encourage you to reach out
and talk to the people around you ask
them how their day is telling if you’re
mad if you’re happy if you’re sad if
you’re nervous and if it’s because of
them tell them and talk about it nothing
ever got done by going to bed angry
number three
dreamers if you live forever live as if
it died today
I believe this James Dean quote which
happens to be my favorite quote
perfectly sums up the importance of
experiencing life I don’t mean you have
to be a thrill seeker and jump out of an
airplane but get out of your comfort
zone try new things
perhaps ride a horse for the first time
it seems so simple but often we get so
racked up and what we’re doing what we
should be doing and our work that we
forget to ask what we can be doing the
idea is stopping the smell the roses
seem so trivial but I challenge you this
week to actually stop and smell a rose
or a flower or a view that you come upon
my friend Pete had no fear he was a
class clown whether it was breaking the
dance in the hallway or going rap to the
girl he had a crush on that week to ask
her
out he wasn’t afraid to experience life
and take chances he loved to cook and he
loved food from young age he wanted to
be a cook and open a restaurant and I
think in some way he understood that
when people break bread they share that
experience together and can build upon
it Plus how many ninth graders do you
know will invite their crush over in
middle school to cook for them it’s
crazy now it might be a little biased
and it might be a little arrogant when I
say this but I happen to believe my
fourth and final point also happens to
be the meaning behind life and it’s okay
if you don’t share in that opinion but I
ask if you take nothing else away from
this talk please remember this final
thought life isn’t as much about what
you do but rather who you share those
accomplishments with these are my
grandparents Dave and Jackie they’re
everything I aspire to be in life they
were not incredibly wealthy in the
traditional sense they did not own their
own airplane but they traveled the world
together they don’t own a mega mansion
by the coast but they can fill two of
them with the stories and memories of
their lives together of their four
children their nine grandchildren and
two great-grandchildren Bo’s but they
enjoyed each other the life they built
because when it’s all said and done or
you’re left with your memories thank you [Applause]