[Applause]
Wow thank you The Great Escape when you
think of an escape but what picture
comes to your mind you know I think of a
an inmate in a concentration camp using
a spoon to dig a tunnel or a prisoner
using dental floss to cut through the
bars
so the question is escape from what it
might not look like it but I’m a
prisoner right now and I need to escape
I’m standing here and what I’m thinking
about is am i as good as the other
speakers are you gonna be bored am I am
I gonna make a fool of myself what what
if I forget what I’m supposed to say and
it’s this inward self thinking
preoccupation with me that holds me a
prisoner what I should be saying is how
can I help you can I can I do something
here that will entertain you or
enlighten you or inspire you but instead
I’m I’m really worried about myself this
is what I’m trying to escape from and
it’s really hard it’s me I can’t get
away from myself you know I go to bed at
night I wake up and there I am you know
and I run down the street there I am I’m
right behind me and wherever I go I’m
there and I’m trying to say no I don’t
want to always be stuck with this self
confining preoccupation selfish thinking
I want to break free I want to have the
kind of mind that looks outward it’s not
only concerned about myself but it’s
looking at the people around me and and
and thinking about them as well now
there’s there’s a problem here it’s not
just one knee it’s all the Me’s in the
world I’m just one me in my little box
with seven and a half billion other Me’s
all over the world each and their little
boxes and you know we stay in their
little boxes most of time and yeah
there’s other boxes around that I’m kind
of aware of that but I don’t really care
because my little box is the most
important box because it’s my box I’m
the one that’s in it
it’s kind of like think of a traffic jam
you get four lanes of traffic now
picture this in Bulgaria especially you
got four lanes of traffic and it narrows
down to two lanes I’m in my car I don’t
care about the people behind me that’s
you know that’s their problem I’m
looking at that bottleneck I’ve had up
ahead and thinking how am I going to get
around that the cars on the side I’m not
too concerned about but they might be
competition the car is ahead of me their
obstacles and so everyone is trying to
get through the bottleneck and this
guy’s going up on the shoulder and this
guy’s and squeezing through here and
what happens is there’s complete
gridlock no one’s moving anywhere
because everyone is just thinking of
themselves and you know beeping their
horns and and it’s all just tied up if
they would just take turns in like ok
you go then you go then I’ll go and the
traffic would keep moving but it’s it’s
not like bad being self focused it’s so
natural I don’t have to learn how to be
selfish I that’s just my default
position but what I find there’s a
continuum so on one end we had the
person that never thinks of anyone but
themselves now that person doesn’t
really exist but know it it anchors one
end of the scale and the other end of
the scale we have the person again this
person probably doesn’t really exist but
they’re always thinking oh how can I
help you what’s happening with you you
know how’s everything going and and
that’s the other end of scale so I spent
a lot of my time down here on this end
of the scale and it’s not really all
that fulfilling I don’t accomplish a
whole lot I it’s where I’m kind of
comfortable but it’s not helping me be
my best and I’m certainly not moving
society or anyone else forward and it’s
kind of a paradox that for selfish
reasons it’s good not to be selfish as I
move along this paradox I find out like
wow life gets better my relationships
are richer I accomplish more I’m more
fulfilled and I’m happier so first
selfish reasons I want to move away from
selfishness the trouble with this inward
thinking mindset and here’s the phrase
for the for the conference right it
distorts reality it’s like I’m trying to
look to the whole world through this
little hole through the people on my
door and I can kind of see what’s going
on out there but I miss everything on
the peripherals because I’m I got this
just narrow me standard view and what I
need to do is escape open the door and
step outside and see that there’s a
whole other world of people out there
it’s kind of like the difference of
being on a mountaintop
you know when I’m outward looking when I
consider the needs of others and my
neighbors my students like my co-workers
the administrators above me it’s free I
can see all around I get this beautiful
panorama every direction I look there’s
opportunities but when I shrink back to
this side of the scale it’s like I’m
stuck in the cave I’m trying to squeeze
through this little hole and yeah I’m
making progress but it’s very hard and I
don’t have many options and there’s not
much wiggle room and so how do I break
out of this me-centered mindset this
inward mindset that’s there seems to
come so naturally well one way is just
to ask questions now not all questions
are equal not all questions are going to
cause me to have an outward mindset
suppose I’m sitting in my office at the
University here and a student comes did
not come to door and I’m really busy and
I’m thinking about no I gotta prepare
for lectures and stuff and they’re
knocking the door it’s a professor and
I’m at my laptop and I go what do you
want hmm
it doesn’t really communicate like an
openness but suppose instead they knock
on the door they open it I closed my
laptop and say hello come on in how can
I help you suddenly now we have a
connection
and at the end of that 10 or 15 minutes
we spend together we’re both going to be
enriched by it so what are some of the
questions we can ask what are some of
those questions that we can use to help
us get out of this inward mindset and
start looking at
world around us and especially the world
of people around us one of the questions
that I think is helpful is just by
staring was thinking how can I
contribute how can I I give something to
this situation our normal reaction is to
ask what’s in it for me
I like to think of this as the
difference between going out for dinner
by yourself so you know you go to a
restaurant you’re by yourself and of
course you’re gonna order what you want
and you expect the waiter and the the
cook staff and everything to give you
your meal and you get your meal and you
enjoy it kind of because it’s what you
ordered but you’re by yourself now
compare that to a gathering of friends
you’re gonna meet at one of your friends
homes and everyone’s going to bring
something to the meal and each of these
friends of yours that each one knows
each other do they know what each other
likes they know what each other doesn’t
like and so I’m getting ready for this
I’m gonna buy this wine because I know
Yvonne really likes this wine and then
somebody says well don’t forget that
Georg is a vegetarian let’s make sure we
have something for Giggy and each person
is bringing something to the table that
they know is gonna serve the other
person there or think about your time at
university of course when you go to a
university you’re asking questions and
you should ask these questions how is
this university gonna help me will they
help me get a job will they help me in
my career path I mean you’re paying
tuition those are good questions to ask
but in digit in addition to asking those
questions why don’t you also ask how can
I add something to this University how
can I contribute to the mission of this
university to make it better how can I
help my classmates who I’m going through
this experience with how can I help them
be successful and I found from my
experience of teaching here that it’s
those students who break out who escaped
from their inward mindset they’re the
ones that go on to do amazing things
they’re the ones that go on to to give
there’s there’s a good example of this
in the corporate world CFS – it’s a debt
collection agency now normally a debt
collection agency is not your favorite
kind of business you don’t want to get a
call from a debt collector a debt
collectors job is to get money from you
at any cost
but Bill Bartman who had been in debt
himself had a different idea he thought
well why is it that people getting debt
they get in debt because they don’t have
money if they had money they could pay
their debts and so he said I’m gonna
make a different kind of debt collection
company instead of trying to get as much
money out of my clients as possible know
what’s in it for me instead of trying to
threaten them and control them browbeat
them to get money from them they’re
making 10 phone calls a day I’m going to
figure out how I can get them money
because if they have money they’ll be
able to pay me and so he started
offering different services he said well
one reason people don’t have money is
that they they’re either underemployed
or unemployed what would happen if we
just offer a free service to help write
resumes give mock interviews connect
them with employers drive them to
interviews help them fill out job
applications so they started to do that
for free and then they said well some of
these people are are kind of on the poor
side let’s see if we can connect them
with free government services let’s see
if we can get them food stamps
unemployment benefits different types of
you know welfare and Medicaid whatever
and so they would for free they would
take their time to connect their clients
with free government services and then
they said well let’s let’s see if we can
help them with their other debts even
the debts that we’re not responsible for
how about if we negotiate with those
debtors and see if we can get a lower
lower return rate and then he went even
further he told his employees lookit I’m
gonna give you bonuses but your bonuses
will not be based on how much debt you
collect but on how many services you
provide for free the more services you
get the clients the higher your bonus
will be so after three years
his debt collection agency had double
the collection rate of any other debt
collection agency out there also and
this is unheard of he won an award not
just once but twice the friend of the
consumer award when have you ever heard
of a debt collector being the friend of
a consumer and so this just shows you
the power of an outward mindset it was a
win-win another question kind of related
to what we just talked about how can I
make this better you know you you you
observe a problem there’s something
wrong something’s not the way it should
be and instead of saying who’s gonna fix
this mess you think outwardly away from
yourself how can I make this better so
here’s a picture of near our apartment I
live on the edge of town I don’t like
litter it’s ugly
it just kind of pulls me down I realize
there’s no way I could clean this up and
even if I did the window we just blow it
back but what I could do is that could
take one little piece one little piece
of land that it was just wheel ruts and
trash and broken glass I cleaned it up
took some Stones out put them around
there I put in a walkway so that people
didn’t have to walk through the mud and
it was interesting what happened my
neighbors saw me doing this and I’m not
sure what they were thinking a lot of
times I I’m sure they’re thinking what
is that crazy American doing now because
I kind of do weird things but they they
came down and said hey I bought this
bush why don’t you plant in the garden
or somebody brought a flat of flowers
hey can I can I plant these in the
garden or no it would say and I have
some flowers but I don’t have any tools
I’ll buy the flowers if you’ll put them
in the garden and so it’s it’s been
wonderful I have a few problems with the
garden I put things in and sometimes
they disappear overnight but no that’s
another story
but now it’s been about eight years and
I really like my garden and my neighbors
liked it and it just it lifts up the
whole the whole neighborhood
a little bit well escaping from an
inward mindset also helps me with my
personal relationships you know life
separated from other people is is narrow
and unfulfilled when I was an
undergraduate one of my mentors told me
said Bill the problem is most people
love things and use people you need to
love people and use things and so this
mindset has really helped me as a as
I’ve looked around it it helps me to see
people as people now sometimes you don’t
even see people they’re just these
objects walking around you but when you
have an outward mindset you see now
those are real people these are some
friends of ours my wife and I have known
this have known this family for about Oh
for about ten years when we first met
them they have one little baby now they
have four kids this picture only shows
three of those kids I had never met
anyone like this family before they live
less than a kilometer from the
university one room for five people
there no no running water no toilet
facilities no heat but they’re people
they have dreams they have hopes they
have ambitions that they’d like to
accomplish they want to see their kids
grow up and be healthy and so another
question we can ask is what would it be
like to be him or her so I’ve asked
myself the question what would it be
like to be Don Cho not to have an
education not to know how to read or
write to have grown up homeless and as I
do that it opens up new horizons for me
and besides that I enjoy my contact with
them we both benefit we’re both enriched
as I move from an inward to an outward I
mindset so an outward mindset looks and
sees people as people worthy of dignity
that have value and they’d learn mindset
also
these people but it puts them in
categories if there’s someone that can
help me that’s an object you know I have
my teaching machine that’s called a
professor and then there’s those those
people up in the canteen they’re feeding
machines know that are behind the
counter we tend to categorize them as
objects the people that get in my way
with those are obstacles they need to be
overcome or pushed aside and then
everyone else is just irrelevant that’s
no way to live it’s narrow
it’s confining it’s unfulfilled and
ultimately it doesn’t make me happy and
so the Great Escape
maybe a little grandiose you know the
Great Escape but you know in a sense it
really is if people can change from an
inward mindset to an outward mindset it
starts a cascade of events it affects
the people around us
it starts influencing society at large
you think of a you know a big problem
like global climate change if I want to
see that problem change it’s gonna start
with a change of mindset
one individual at a time spread from me
to others so let’s work together to
change from the inward mindset to an
outward mindset and let’s see what
happens you know to our communities to
our relationships into society at large
thank you very much
[Applause] [Music]
Wow thank you The Great Escape when you
think of an escape but what picture
comes to your mind you know I think of a
an inmate in a concentration camp using
a spoon to dig a tunnel or a prisoner
using dental floss to cut through the
bars
so the question is escape from what it
might not look like it but I’m a
prisoner right now and I need to escape
I’m standing here and what I’m thinking
about is am i as good as the other
speakers are you gonna be bored am I am
I gonna make a fool of myself what what
if I forget what I’m supposed to say and
it’s this inward self thinking
preoccupation with me that holds me a
prisoner what I should be saying is how
can I help you can I can I do something
here that will entertain you or
enlighten you or inspire you but instead
I’m I’m really worried about myself this
is what I’m trying to escape from and
it’s really hard it’s me I can’t get
away from myself you know I go to bed at
night I wake up and there I am you know
and I run down the street there I am I’m
right behind me and wherever I go I’m
there and I’m trying to say no I don’t
want to always be stuck with this self
confining preoccupation selfish thinking
I want to break free I want to have the
kind of mind that looks outward it’s not
only concerned about myself but it’s
looking at the people around me and and
and thinking about them as well now
there’s there’s a problem here it’s not
just one knee it’s all the Me’s in the
world I’m just one me in my little box
with seven and a half billion other Me’s
all over the world each and their little
boxes and you know we stay in their
little boxes most of time and yeah
there’s other boxes around that I’m kind
of aware of that but I don’t really care
because my little box is the most
important box because it’s my box I’m
the one that’s in it
it’s kind of like think of a traffic jam
you get four lanes of traffic now
picture this in Bulgaria especially you
got four lanes of traffic and it narrows
down to two lanes I’m in my car I don’t
care about the people behind me that’s
you know that’s their problem I’m
looking at that bottleneck I’ve had up
ahead and thinking how am I going to get
around that the cars on the side I’m not
too concerned about but they might be
competition the car is ahead of me their
obstacles and so everyone is trying to
get through the bottleneck and this
guy’s going up on the shoulder and this
guy’s and squeezing through here and
what happens is there’s complete
gridlock no one’s moving anywhere
because everyone is just thinking of
themselves and you know beeping their
horns and and it’s all just tied up if
they would just take turns in like ok
you go then you go then I’ll go and the
traffic would keep moving but it’s it’s
not like bad being self focused it’s so
natural I don’t have to learn how to be
selfish I that’s just my default
position but what I find there’s a
continuum so on one end we had the
person that never thinks of anyone but
themselves now that person doesn’t
really exist but know it it anchors one
end of the scale and the other end of
the scale we have the person again this
person probably doesn’t really exist but
they’re always thinking oh how can I
help you what’s happening with you you
know how’s everything going and and
that’s the other end of scale so I spent
a lot of my time down here on this end
of the scale and it’s not really all
that fulfilling I don’t accomplish a
whole lot I it’s where I’m kind of
comfortable but it’s not helping me be
my best and I’m certainly not moving
society or anyone else forward and it’s
kind of a paradox that for selfish
reasons it’s good not to be selfish as I
move along this paradox I find out like
wow life gets better my relationships
are richer I accomplish more I’m more
fulfilled and I’m happier so first
selfish reasons I want to move away from
selfishness the trouble with this inward
thinking mindset and here’s the phrase
for the for the conference right it
distorts reality it’s like I’m trying to
look to the whole world through this
little hole through the people on my
door and I can kind of see what’s going
on out there but I miss everything on
the peripherals because I’m I got this
just narrow me standard view and what I
need to do is escape open the door and
step outside and see that there’s a
whole other world of people out there
it’s kind of like the difference of
being on a mountaintop
you know when I’m outward looking when I
consider the needs of others and my
neighbors my students like my co-workers
the administrators above me it’s free I
can see all around I get this beautiful
panorama every direction I look there’s
opportunities but when I shrink back to
this side of the scale it’s like I’m
stuck in the cave I’m trying to squeeze
through this little hole and yeah I’m
making progress but it’s very hard and I
don’t have many options and there’s not
much wiggle room and so how do I break
out of this me-centered mindset this
inward mindset that’s there seems to
come so naturally well one way is just
to ask questions now not all questions
are equal not all questions are going to
cause me to have an outward mindset
suppose I’m sitting in my office at the
University here and a student comes did
not come to door and I’m really busy and
I’m thinking about no I gotta prepare
for lectures and stuff and they’re
knocking the door it’s a professor and
I’m at my laptop and I go what do you
want hmm
it doesn’t really communicate like an
openness but suppose instead they knock
on the door they open it I closed my
laptop and say hello come on in how can
I help you suddenly now we have a
connection
and at the end of that 10 or 15 minutes
we spend together we’re both going to be
enriched by it so what are some of the
questions we can ask what are some of
those questions that we can use to help
us get out of this inward mindset and
start looking at
world around us and especially the world
of people around us one of the questions
that I think is helpful is just by
staring was thinking how can I
contribute how can I I give something to
this situation our normal reaction is to
ask what’s in it for me
I like to think of this as the
difference between going out for dinner
by yourself so you know you go to a
restaurant you’re by yourself and of
course you’re gonna order what you want
and you expect the waiter and the the
cook staff and everything to give you
your meal and you get your meal and you
enjoy it kind of because it’s what you
ordered but you’re by yourself now
compare that to a gathering of friends
you’re gonna meet at one of your friends
homes and everyone’s going to bring
something to the meal and each of these
friends of yours that each one knows
each other do they know what each other
likes they know what each other doesn’t
like and so I’m getting ready for this
I’m gonna buy this wine because I know
Yvonne really likes this wine and then
somebody says well don’t forget that
Georg is a vegetarian let’s make sure we
have something for Giggy and each person
is bringing something to the table that
they know is gonna serve the other
person there or think about your time at
university of course when you go to a
university you’re asking questions and
you should ask these questions how is
this university gonna help me will they
help me get a job will they help me in
my career path I mean you’re paying
tuition those are good questions to ask
but in digit in addition to asking those
questions why don’t you also ask how can
I add something to this University how
can I contribute to the mission of this
university to make it better how can I
help my classmates who I’m going through
this experience with how can I help them
be successful and I found from my
experience of teaching here that it’s
those students who break out who escaped
from their inward mindset they’re the
ones that go on to do amazing things
they’re the ones that go on to to give
there’s there’s a good example of this
in the corporate world CFS – it’s a debt
collection agency now normally a debt
collection agency is not your favorite
kind of business you don’t want to get a
call from a debt collector a debt
collectors job is to get money from you
at any cost
but Bill Bartman who had been in debt
himself had a different idea he thought
well why is it that people getting debt
they get in debt because they don’t have
money if they had money they could pay
their debts and so he said I’m gonna
make a different kind of debt collection
company instead of trying to get as much
money out of my clients as possible know
what’s in it for me instead of trying to
threaten them and control them browbeat
them to get money from them they’re
making 10 phone calls a day I’m going to
figure out how I can get them money
because if they have money they’ll be
able to pay me and so he started
offering different services he said well
one reason people don’t have money is
that they they’re either underemployed
or unemployed what would happen if we
just offer a free service to help write
resumes give mock interviews connect
them with employers drive them to
interviews help them fill out job
applications so they started to do that
for free and then they said well some of
these people are are kind of on the poor
side let’s see if we can connect them
with free government services let’s see
if we can get them food stamps
unemployment benefits different types of
you know welfare and Medicaid whatever
and so they would for free they would
take their time to connect their clients
with free government services and then
they said well let’s let’s see if we can
help them with their other debts even
the debts that we’re not responsible for
how about if we negotiate with those
debtors and see if we can get a lower
lower return rate and then he went even
further he told his employees lookit I’m
gonna give you bonuses but your bonuses
will not be based on how much debt you
collect but on how many services you
provide for free the more services you
get the clients the higher your bonus
will be so after three years
his debt collection agency had double
the collection rate of any other debt
collection agency out there also and
this is unheard of he won an award not
just once but twice the friend of the
consumer award when have you ever heard
of a debt collector being the friend of
a consumer and so this just shows you
the power of an outward mindset it was a
win-win another question kind of related
to what we just talked about how can I
make this better you know you you you
observe a problem there’s something
wrong something’s not the way it should
be and instead of saying who’s gonna fix
this mess you think outwardly away from
yourself how can I make this better so
here’s a picture of near our apartment I
live on the edge of town I don’t like
litter it’s ugly
it just kind of pulls me down I realize
there’s no way I could clean this up and
even if I did the window we just blow it
back but what I could do is that could
take one little piece one little piece
of land that it was just wheel ruts and
trash and broken glass I cleaned it up
took some Stones out put them around
there I put in a walkway so that people
didn’t have to walk through the mud and
it was interesting what happened my
neighbors saw me doing this and I’m not
sure what they were thinking a lot of
times I I’m sure they’re thinking what
is that crazy American doing now because
I kind of do weird things but they they
came down and said hey I bought this
bush why don’t you plant in the garden
or somebody brought a flat of flowers
hey can I can I plant these in the
garden or no it would say and I have
some flowers but I don’t have any tools
I’ll buy the flowers if you’ll put them
in the garden and so it’s it’s been
wonderful I have a few problems with the
garden I put things in and sometimes
they disappear overnight but no that’s
another story
but now it’s been about eight years and
I really like my garden and my neighbors
liked it and it just it lifts up the
whole the whole neighborhood
a little bit well escaping from an
inward mindset also helps me with my
personal relationships you know life
separated from other people is is narrow
and unfulfilled when I was an
undergraduate one of my mentors told me
said Bill the problem is most people
love things and use people you need to
love people and use things and so this
mindset has really helped me as a as
I’ve looked around it it helps me to see
people as people now sometimes you don’t
even see people they’re just these
objects walking around you but when you
have an outward mindset you see now
those are real people these are some
friends of ours my wife and I have known
this have known this family for about Oh
for about ten years when we first met
them they have one little baby now they
have four kids this picture only shows
three of those kids I had never met
anyone like this family before they live
less than a kilometer from the
university one room for five people
there no no running water no toilet
facilities no heat but they’re people
they have dreams they have hopes they
have ambitions that they’d like to
accomplish they want to see their kids
grow up and be healthy and so another
question we can ask is what would it be
like to be him or her so I’ve asked
myself the question what would it be
like to be Don Cho not to have an
education not to know how to read or
write to have grown up homeless and as I
do that it opens up new horizons for me
and besides that I enjoy my contact with
them we both benefit we’re both enriched
as I move from an inward to an outward I
mindset so an outward mindset looks and
sees people as people worthy of dignity
that have value and they’d learn mindset
also
these people but it puts them in
categories if there’s someone that can
help me that’s an object you know I have
my teaching machine that’s called a
professor and then there’s those those
people up in the canteen they’re feeding
machines know that are behind the
counter we tend to categorize them as
objects the people that get in my way
with those are obstacles they need to be
overcome or pushed aside and then
everyone else is just irrelevant that’s
no way to live it’s narrow
it’s confining it’s unfulfilled and
ultimately it doesn’t make me happy and
so the Great Escape
maybe a little grandiose you know the
Great Escape but you know in a sense it
really is if people can change from an
inward mindset to an outward mindset it
starts a cascade of events it affects
the people around us
it starts influencing society at large
you think of a you know a big problem
like global climate change if I want to
see that problem change it’s gonna start
with a change of mindset
one individual at a time spread from me
to others so let’s work together to
change from the inward mindset to an
outward mindset and let’s see what
happens you know to our communities to
our relationships into society at large
thank you very much
[Applause] [Music]
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