It was love at first sight
it was ten years ago I was walking in
the corridors of my college notebooks under
arm like a young student
passionate
he was in his thoughts he told me
jostled it made me angry I got
returned who looks at them and he has me
watched with his big blue eyes and
dense is loved at first sight
today still when I get up the
morning I watch my man next to me
and I am always amazed
I have my heart throbbing I still
butterflies in the belly
almost 24 hours a day nothing has changed
nothing has changed I like it like
first day
well you doubt it all that does not exist
that in fairy tales actually
I did not fall in love at first sight
I did not fall in love because
that love at first sight
love without hindrance the butterflies in
belly 24 hours often out of 24
that does not exist any more than the soul
sister or eternal love
in any case not as we understand it
we all have certainties about love
we think for example that it is this
unique link that binds us to each other
commitment desire desire confidence
do it all this is not love
it is rather the cause and the consequence
of love after years of study and
of research
barbara fredriksson and his team of
researchers have redefined love and here
their conclusions
love is neither sustainable nor exclusive nor
unconditional
love is not exclusive when
I was a child I thought my mother
love us every other day with my
brother
one day him one day me each his turn
no jealous as if we could not
love one person at a time
obviously I was wrong love has a
much wider reach he does not like
reserved for one person or one soul
sister in fact one can feel
positive emotions and therefore love
with all the people who are
surround
even strangers you can by
example live micro-movements
of love with your butcher for example
without being unfaithful then the pickups
moment of love lived with a stranger and
those experienced with a loved one are almost
identical
researchers observe the same
biological synchrony then there is everything
similarly differences in particular in
the factors that trigger these micro
moment of love since intimacy
words the gestures are not the same and
also in the frequency since it is
logic we live more micro words
of love with our loved ones love is not
not sustainable when I was 15 years old
vision of love had evolved a little to
that time I believed in love
eternal is immutable and then one evening
while I knew my first
heartache
my father came to comfort me and he
told me you know darling you will not like
not this boy all your life so I’ll you
lets imagine my anger and my
feeling of misunderstanding
I was only 15 years old
the context is actually I have to well the
recognize
years later yes my father had
reason in fact love is not a
stable emotion that we experience for months
years
in fact it is a passing sensation
which lasts a few seconds
so rest assured she is
renewable to infinity
in other words you will not like your
child your wife your spouse your
friends or your parents all your life
in fact you will like them a 10 20 times
by day and sometimes you do not
love is not unconditional then
that we were at the beginning of our
relationship
my spouse told me one day this
strange sentence that was going to change
my vision of love he told me of any
way today you do not love me
so I had to find that a little
weird
what I had to retort a sentence
just as strange if I love you
today
and then the idea got its way there is there
moments of the events of the
conditions that promote love
actually there are two it takes
first a sense of security
because to feel the love our
forgiveness brain can not feel
love in the presence of danger or
threats it also takes a relationship
authentic that is to say that it is necessary
be
from a scientific point of view in all
case you have to be physically and
emotionally present so if
love is neither sustainable nor exclusive nor
unconditional
but what is love then
it’s the most powerful of emotions
positive
it’s the most emotional experience
essential to our health and our
blossoming
in fact it’s a kind of fuel that
nourishes our body as well as our
mind that is as important as the
food or oxygen the researchers
invites us to rethink love
like a moment since it lasts a few
seconds and in fact it’s the accumulation
of these micro moment that comes to strengthen
the relationship makes love when is
you make a tender hug to a child
even if it’s not yours it’s when
you have a laugh with a friend for
unexplained reasons it’s when
you walk hand in hand
with your spouse
it’s when you have a conversation
passionate about your colleague from
job
in fact love is when at least
two people take turns and share a
positive emotion it takes three
phenomena to feel these micro
love moment first one must share
a positive emotion
then you have to be in sync
that is to say must be in resonance you
know when we have the same words the
same gestures that one has the impression of being
on the same wavelength
and finally we need a mutual intention
of benevolence makes it an emotion
positive as soon as she is gone
and immediately turns into a microphone
love moment so to summarize I
do you want to be shocked but at
the precise moment when I speak to you I
do not like my spouse
indeed we are not in
synchrony we are not trying
to share a positive emotion and we
have no intention of mutuals
benevolent actually from a point of view
scientist my body does not feel
of love for him so rest assured
we have lived for years
countless number of micro moments
of love so well that they came
strengthen our relationship by creating a
bond of trust and security that is
itself conducive to the multiplication of
future love moment so now
maybe you think you’re good at
what these advances are interesting and
what can they change in
our dailies then in reality that can
change everything because do you figure that
we all have an air that connects our
brain to our heart it’s called the
vagus nerve it has very positive effects
since they allow us to connect
to others to decrease our frequency
heart and regulate our emotions
so what is the relationship with love
is this nerve that reflects our
receptivity to the sources of love in fact
the higher our vagal tone is higher the more we
will be able to live these micro moment
of love then at the beginning the researchers
thought that the characteristics of this
vagus nerve was determined at the
birth is frozen in time and then
research showed that we could
in a way the muscular so for
summarize microphones moment of active love
and tones the vagus nerve and more our
vague and tonic nerve the more we have the
ability to live these micro moment
of love in fact it is a virtuous circle
where love breeds love and that’s
great because beyond increasing
our level of happiness the researchers
have also shown that it increases and
our life expectancy so more our
vague and toned nerve
the longer we live so now
maybe you want to know
how do we do to develop between
quotes this vagus nerve then there is
lots of little exercises
I propose you 2 tonight with a
little bonus
the first that I propose to test
it’s meditation
benevolence the beneficial effects of
meditation are many she
increases happiness intelligence
life expectancy then meditation
Benevolence is you
comfortably install in a
quiet place and to wear your
watch out for a person in glass who
you have warm feelings and
the idea is to have for her
benevolent thoughts and intentions
and you can do this little exercise
with your children
for example by offering them each
day to take five minutes to think
to a person they appreciate the
second exercise that I propose to you
is that of social interactions
you understood it the love of being
feels when others presence so
I invite you every night to rethink
three exchanges that you had in the
day and ask yourself if you
are felt close or not to this
nobody the idea is really
become aware of the quality of
relationships that you and us during
your day and again you can
do it’s small exercise with your
children by asking them to think
every day at three great moments
that they spent with their friends or
with an adult and finally to finish on
a touch of tenderness
I would like to talk to you about cuddles because
that the Caenais have powers
magic
when we hug someone at
after 20 seconds our brain
secrete oxytocin which is the hormone
of attachment and well-being there
also secretes dopamine which is
the hormone of motivation and the
good mood
actually a hug it helps to be
more patient be less stressed less
anxious to have a better estimate of
to strengthen social bonds and
especially it’s free is within range of
arms
kids love it so no I did not
I did not fall in love with my
joint
I do not have butterflies in my stomach
24 hours a day and he had
probably right
the day he told me today you do not
do not love me he was right because
as you like us a few
minutes a day we loved each other
hundreds of times before and I
hope we will still love each other
a few thousand more and moreover
if we think about it
rounded that we just guess is
precisely the consequence
those micro moments of love passed and I
am sure the cause of future moment
of love then tone up your vagus nerve
you will be happier and you will live
longer and do not forget
to transmit all this to your children because
they are the guarantors of tomorrow
cultivating love is in my opinion the most
great step that you can do in
family on the way to happiness and I
wish you a safe journey
[Applause]
it was ten years ago I was walking in
the corridors of my college notebooks under
arm like a young student
passionate
he was in his thoughts he told me
jostled it made me angry I got
returned who looks at them and he has me
watched with his big blue eyes and
dense is loved at first sight
today still when I get up the
morning I watch my man next to me
and I am always amazed
I have my heart throbbing I still
butterflies in the belly
almost 24 hours a day nothing has changed
nothing has changed I like it like
first day
well you doubt it all that does not exist
that in fairy tales actually
I did not fall in love at first sight
I did not fall in love because
that love at first sight
love without hindrance the butterflies in
belly 24 hours often out of 24
that does not exist any more than the soul
sister or eternal love
in any case not as we understand it
we all have certainties about love
we think for example that it is this
unique link that binds us to each other
commitment desire desire confidence
do it all this is not love
it is rather the cause and the consequence
of love after years of study and
of research
barbara fredriksson and his team of
researchers have redefined love and here
their conclusions
love is neither sustainable nor exclusive nor
unconditional
love is not exclusive when
I was a child I thought my mother
love us every other day with my
brother
one day him one day me each his turn
no jealous as if we could not
love one person at a time
obviously I was wrong love has a
much wider reach he does not like
reserved for one person or one soul
sister in fact one can feel
positive emotions and therefore love
with all the people who are
surround
even strangers you can by
example live micro-movements
of love with your butcher for example
without being unfaithful then the pickups
moment of love lived with a stranger and
those experienced with a loved one are almost
identical
researchers observe the same
biological synchrony then there is everything
similarly differences in particular in
the factors that trigger these micro
moment of love since intimacy
words the gestures are not the same and
also in the frequency since it is
logic we live more micro words
of love with our loved ones love is not
not sustainable when I was 15 years old
vision of love had evolved a little to
that time I believed in love
eternal is immutable and then one evening
while I knew my first
heartache
my father came to comfort me and he
told me you know darling you will not like
not this boy all your life so I’ll you
lets imagine my anger and my
feeling of misunderstanding
I was only 15 years old
the context is actually I have to well the
recognize
years later yes my father had
reason in fact love is not a
stable emotion that we experience for months
years
in fact it is a passing sensation
which lasts a few seconds
so rest assured she is
renewable to infinity
in other words you will not like your
child your wife your spouse your
friends or your parents all your life
in fact you will like them a 10 20 times
by day and sometimes you do not
love is not unconditional then
that we were at the beginning of our
relationship
my spouse told me one day this
strange sentence that was going to change
my vision of love he told me of any
way today you do not love me
so I had to find that a little
weird
what I had to retort a sentence
just as strange if I love you
today
and then the idea got its way there is there
moments of the events of the
conditions that promote love
actually there are two it takes
first a sense of security
because to feel the love our
forgiveness brain can not feel
love in the presence of danger or
threats it also takes a relationship
authentic that is to say that it is necessary
be
from a scientific point of view in all
case you have to be physically and
emotionally present so if
love is neither sustainable nor exclusive nor
unconditional
but what is love then
it’s the most powerful of emotions
positive
it’s the most emotional experience
essential to our health and our
blossoming
in fact it’s a kind of fuel that
nourishes our body as well as our
mind that is as important as the
food or oxygen the researchers
invites us to rethink love
like a moment since it lasts a few
seconds and in fact it’s the accumulation
of these micro moment that comes to strengthen
the relationship makes love when is
you make a tender hug to a child
even if it’s not yours it’s when
you have a laugh with a friend for
unexplained reasons it’s when
you walk hand in hand
with your spouse
it’s when you have a conversation
passionate about your colleague from
job
in fact love is when at least
two people take turns and share a
positive emotion it takes three
phenomena to feel these micro
love moment first one must share
a positive emotion
then you have to be in sync
that is to say must be in resonance you
know when we have the same words the
same gestures that one has the impression of being
on the same wavelength
and finally we need a mutual intention
of benevolence makes it an emotion
positive as soon as she is gone
and immediately turns into a microphone
love moment so to summarize I
do you want to be shocked but at
the precise moment when I speak to you I
do not like my spouse
indeed we are not in
synchrony we are not trying
to share a positive emotion and we
have no intention of mutuals
benevolent actually from a point of view
scientist my body does not feel
of love for him so rest assured
we have lived for years
countless number of micro moments
of love so well that they came
strengthen our relationship by creating a
bond of trust and security that is
itself conducive to the multiplication of
future love moment so now
maybe you think you’re good at
what these advances are interesting and
what can they change in
our dailies then in reality that can
change everything because do you figure that
we all have an air that connects our
brain to our heart it’s called the
vagus nerve it has very positive effects
since they allow us to connect
to others to decrease our frequency
heart and regulate our emotions
so what is the relationship with love
is this nerve that reflects our
receptivity to the sources of love in fact
the higher our vagal tone is higher the more we
will be able to live these micro moment
of love then at the beginning the researchers
thought that the characteristics of this
vagus nerve was determined at the
birth is frozen in time and then
research showed that we could
in a way the muscular so for
summarize microphones moment of active love
and tones the vagus nerve and more our
vague and tonic nerve the more we have the
ability to live these micro moment
of love in fact it is a virtuous circle
where love breeds love and that’s
great because beyond increasing
our level of happiness the researchers
have also shown that it increases and
our life expectancy so more our
vague and toned nerve
the longer we live so now
maybe you want to know
how do we do to develop between
quotes this vagus nerve then there is
lots of little exercises
I propose you 2 tonight with a
little bonus
the first that I propose to test
it’s meditation
benevolence the beneficial effects of
meditation are many she
increases happiness intelligence
life expectancy then meditation
Benevolence is you
comfortably install in a
quiet place and to wear your
watch out for a person in glass who
you have warm feelings and
the idea is to have for her
benevolent thoughts and intentions
and you can do this little exercise
with your children
for example by offering them each
day to take five minutes to think
to a person they appreciate the
second exercise that I propose to you
is that of social interactions
you understood it the love of being
feels when others presence so
I invite you every night to rethink
three exchanges that you had in the
day and ask yourself if you
are felt close or not to this
nobody the idea is really
become aware of the quality of
relationships that you and us during
your day and again you can
do it’s small exercise with your
children by asking them to think
every day at three great moments
that they spent with their friends or
with an adult and finally to finish on
a touch of tenderness
I would like to talk to you about cuddles because
that the Caenais have powers
magic
when we hug someone at
after 20 seconds our brain
secrete oxytocin which is the hormone
of attachment and well-being there
also secretes dopamine which is
the hormone of motivation and the
good mood
actually a hug it helps to be
more patient be less stressed less
anxious to have a better estimate of
to strengthen social bonds and
especially it’s free is within range of
arms
kids love it so no I did not
I did not fall in love with my
joint
I do not have butterflies in my stomach
24 hours a day and he had
probably right
the day he told me today you do not
do not love me he was right because
as you like us a few
minutes a day we loved each other
hundreds of times before and I
hope we will still love each other
a few thousand more and moreover
if we think about it
rounded that we just guess is
precisely the consequence
those micro moments of love passed and I
am sure the cause of future moment
of love then tone up your vagus nerve
you will be happier and you will live
longer and do not forget
to transmit all this to your children because
they are the guarantors of tomorrow
cultivating love is in my opinion the most
great step that you can do in
family on the way to happiness and I
wish you a safe journey
[Applause]
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