[Applause]
thank you I wonder how many of you have
encountered this sort of scenario ah
there you are just the person I wanted
we need to recruit get it sorted out
will you
of course you weren’t here last time yes
bad businessman I’m sure you’ll be all
right be fine let me keep you in the
room
keep me in the loop and let me know how
you get on won’t you yes fine boss
absolutely no problem at all looking
forward to great great opportunity thank
you so now what okay you’ve now got to
look at the recruitment this is where my
top number one tip comes in and I’m
gonna give it to you straight away this
is my number one tip very important must
be done always always always when
recruiting make absolutely sure 100%
that you have someone to interview now
you laugh and thank you for that but
you’ll be surprised that number of phone
calls I get saying well we’ve been
trying to have them for ties for the
last couple of months and not getting
anything not getting anybody to apply
for it haven’t got anybody coming along
don’t know what we doing can you help
now if you’re in one of those industries
that has no tourist difficulty in
getting people to apply and you’ll know
who you are I don’t the other help you I
don’t think as much as I sympathize for
all the difficulty so you’ve got
yourself in but if you all fought
shouldn’t have joined if you can’t take
a joke but let’s say it’s not that let’s
say you’re an industry that it’s
normally fairly okay for advertising
nobody okay for getting lots of
applicants coming forward so there’s
something gone wrong
normally I’ll come down to one of two
things and it’ll always be to do with
the advert
now the first advert is the one which
are like to call the prospectus it will
tell you absolutely everything you want
to know about the company it will tell
you how wonderful the company is how it
was formed by a big whiskered gentleman
from 1800 and frozen to death who now
stares at you from the boardroom wall
and how wonderful the the staff are and
how it’s a big family and everybody
loves everybody else it’s a wonderful
companies it’s a lovely comedy really
great and you phone them back and say
fabulous company sounds like this is a
really really nice company to work for
and of course they say yes it is he’s
brilliant it’s lovely why wouldn’t you
want to come and work for us not really
mentioned anything about the job no
really no not in fact not in any words
at all really
and they come back with you think we
should well it wouldn’t hurt try that
and see what happens and then you’ve got
the other sort the other one which I
like to call the aspirational one but
advert will tell you must have this must
have that must be something else must
have done this must have done that must
have done all this lot and when you get
to the end you get the idea it’s much
enough must all the way down and when
you get to the end there’s a lovely
little TLA which is the three-letter
acronym in case you were wondering which
says national minimum wage and you found
these guys but I can say ok you do seem
to want an awful lot of things for your
national minimum wage yes obviously we
don’t need all that
no of course obviously you don’t
of course you don’t how many people did
you say you had applying
well none well maybe not so obvious
yeah do you think perhaps we should take
some out I usually try and resist saying
obviously but sometimes you know I just
can’t resist it’s just one of those
things okay so let’s say you’ve got the
advert right and you’ve got lots of
people applying fantastic the next
problem is and to quote the bard or
paraphrase the bard
to interview or not to interview now
that really is the question I
particularly the one I particularly like
the guy who is usually a small business
probably run by by one chap who likes to
go with a gut the gasps the gut will
tell me don’t quite know who I want but
I’ll know it when I see it fabulous
absolutely how exciting that’s really
exciting that’s living on the edge to me
it’s a little bit like going to a car
auction you go along you don’t need to
worry about and looking at all the cars
just a mess you don’t need to go out
there’s lots of people it’s just lots of
cars forget it
you don’t need to do the research don’t
need it don’t need to pick up the
runners and riders from the auction you
just need to go and grab yourself a nice
tea flavored drink and a nice neat
flavoured burger then go and sit in the
ring and wait and there it is you can
wait then you can wait and eventually
that’s it that’s the one I want that’s
the one for me oh nice
exotic little number one owner fabulous
and then you get it home and then you
find out why it’s exotic
it’s exotic because it comes from a
backstreet Paris workshop which
specialize in rather dodgy car rentals
and some idiots changed the steering
but you can’t lose face you’ve now got
it it’s yours so it becomes a project
I’ll get it working it’s fine I’ll get
it working it won’t be a problem
I’ll get it working so it sits there and
it looks at you and it’s there all the
time and it’s not working it’s not
working for you it’s not working at all
it’s just not working but it just sits
there but there’s always back to the car
auctions yes very exciting go and have
another go if you’re with a large
corporation or you’re with for example
one of the public sectors you’re pretty
much hogtied to what you can do it’s
pretty much questions that are going to
be generated around the competency-based
exercise now I do quite a lot of mock
interviews and I’m reasonably confident
that I can train most people to get
through a competency-based interview
some of the in the especially the public
sector companies and unis are very
helpful they’ll tell you what they’re
going to ask questions about which is
really nice really helpful of them so
all we need now is three competencies on
each with three examples of each of
those competencies trained upon that no
problem at all the only problem becomes
then if you can’t remember them or you
fall over from some other way the other
problem is of course if you really have
a great difficulty in getting through
interviews because you block out when
you get to an interview
that’s not so easily trainable you can
always go a little bit off piste now I
like the off piste firms they’re great
some sort of question that might be
landed at you some of my favorites
I’ll just give you a couple if you were
a dinosaur
what sort of dinosaur would you be well
do you know at my age sometimes I think
I’ve already arrived at that would you
rather fight a hundred duck-sized horses
or a horse sized duck that’s a famous
one now I’ve given that some thought and
I’ve asked the question a few times
about that and just to see what people
come up with personally I’d go with the
big duck if I didn’t train the big duck
get it in a tent travel around the
country get people to pay to come and
have a look at the big dark
I then wouldn’t have to work for a
company that’s asking me stupid
questions the one that really gets
everybody the one that I always used on
in interviews when I’m doing mock
interviews the one that really really
stretches people and really makes it
difficult for them and it’s always
delivered with a smile tell me something
about yourself that gets them every time
it’s grade blank over sweat start the
interview with that you’ve got a dead
but do you really want to be doing that
what sort of things are you actually
looking for I’ll give you some to me
some last thoughts on on what I think
the the interview process should should
be first of all let me just look at the
the advert side of things if you’re
advertising for you actually advertising
and encouraging people to apply for this
or you dis encouraging them if you’re
not encouraging them why not is it that
you’re looking for that one special
person that one person that just might
just happen to be free at the time
might just happen to be able to come and
work for you and wants to work for you
and you’re taking a bit of a risk
because if you can’t find that one
person you’re never gonna get there are
you worried that you’re gonna get too
many too many applications that’s
something I hear a lot but if you’ve got
that at least you’ve got the chance of
getting the right person you’ve got the
right person who might just have those
skills that you can convert into what
you want and how you want to do it how
you want to train them to come into your
company at the end of it if you’ve
managed to succeed and you’ve done well
and everything’s good and you’ve got the
right person and the right thing then
you can become the superhero of the
company and I think you’ve earned the
right to put your underpants on outside
of your trousers if you so wish and on
the Cape and put the tiara on if that’s
what suits and then you can adopt the
pose and say yes I am the superhero of
the company and yes you’ve got the job for life thank you
thank you I wonder how many of you have
encountered this sort of scenario ah
there you are just the person I wanted
we need to recruit get it sorted out
will you
of course you weren’t here last time yes
bad businessman I’m sure you’ll be all
right be fine let me keep you in the
room
keep me in the loop and let me know how
you get on won’t you yes fine boss
absolutely no problem at all looking
forward to great great opportunity thank
you so now what okay you’ve now got to
look at the recruitment this is where my
top number one tip comes in and I’m
gonna give it to you straight away this
is my number one tip very important must
be done always always always when
recruiting make absolutely sure 100%
that you have someone to interview now
you laugh and thank you for that but
you’ll be surprised that number of phone
calls I get saying well we’ve been
trying to have them for ties for the
last couple of months and not getting
anything not getting anybody to apply
for it haven’t got anybody coming along
don’t know what we doing can you help
now if you’re in one of those industries
that has no tourist difficulty in
getting people to apply and you’ll know
who you are I don’t the other help you I
don’t think as much as I sympathize for
all the difficulty so you’ve got
yourself in but if you all fought
shouldn’t have joined if you can’t take
a joke but let’s say it’s not that let’s
say you’re an industry that it’s
normally fairly okay for advertising
nobody okay for getting lots of
applicants coming forward so there’s
something gone wrong
normally I’ll come down to one of two
things and it’ll always be to do with
the advert
now the first advert is the one which
are like to call the prospectus it will
tell you absolutely everything you want
to know about the company it will tell
you how wonderful the company is how it
was formed by a big whiskered gentleman
from 1800 and frozen to death who now
stares at you from the boardroom wall
and how wonderful the the staff are and
how it’s a big family and everybody
loves everybody else it’s a wonderful
companies it’s a lovely comedy really
great and you phone them back and say
fabulous company sounds like this is a
really really nice company to work for
and of course they say yes it is he’s
brilliant it’s lovely why wouldn’t you
want to come and work for us not really
mentioned anything about the job no
really no not in fact not in any words
at all really
and they come back with you think we
should well it wouldn’t hurt try that
and see what happens and then you’ve got
the other sort the other one which I
like to call the aspirational one but
advert will tell you must have this must
have that must be something else must
have done this must have done that must
have done all this lot and when you get
to the end you get the idea it’s much
enough must all the way down and when
you get to the end there’s a lovely
little TLA which is the three-letter
acronym in case you were wondering which
says national minimum wage and you found
these guys but I can say ok you do seem
to want an awful lot of things for your
national minimum wage yes obviously we
don’t need all that
no of course obviously you don’t
of course you don’t how many people did
you say you had applying
well none well maybe not so obvious
yeah do you think perhaps we should take
some out I usually try and resist saying
obviously but sometimes you know I just
can’t resist it’s just one of those
things okay so let’s say you’ve got the
advert right and you’ve got lots of
people applying fantastic the next
problem is and to quote the bard or
paraphrase the bard
to interview or not to interview now
that really is the question I
particularly the one I particularly like
the guy who is usually a small business
probably run by by one chap who likes to
go with a gut the gasps the gut will
tell me don’t quite know who I want but
I’ll know it when I see it fabulous
absolutely how exciting that’s really
exciting that’s living on the edge to me
it’s a little bit like going to a car
auction you go along you don’t need to
worry about and looking at all the cars
just a mess you don’t need to go out
there’s lots of people it’s just lots of
cars forget it
you don’t need to do the research don’t
need it don’t need to pick up the
runners and riders from the auction you
just need to go and grab yourself a nice
tea flavored drink and a nice neat
flavoured burger then go and sit in the
ring and wait and there it is you can
wait then you can wait and eventually
that’s it that’s the one I want that’s
the one for me oh nice
exotic little number one owner fabulous
and then you get it home and then you
find out why it’s exotic
it’s exotic because it comes from a
backstreet Paris workshop which
specialize in rather dodgy car rentals
and some idiots changed the steering
but you can’t lose face you’ve now got
it it’s yours so it becomes a project
I’ll get it working it’s fine I’ll get
it working it won’t be a problem
I’ll get it working so it sits there and
it looks at you and it’s there all the
time and it’s not working it’s not
working for you it’s not working at all
it’s just not working but it just sits
there but there’s always back to the car
auctions yes very exciting go and have
another go if you’re with a large
corporation or you’re with for example
one of the public sectors you’re pretty
much hogtied to what you can do it’s
pretty much questions that are going to
be generated around the competency-based
exercise now I do quite a lot of mock
interviews and I’m reasonably confident
that I can train most people to get
through a competency-based interview
some of the in the especially the public
sector companies and unis are very
helpful they’ll tell you what they’re
going to ask questions about which is
really nice really helpful of them so
all we need now is three competencies on
each with three examples of each of
those competencies trained upon that no
problem at all the only problem becomes
then if you can’t remember them or you
fall over from some other way the other
problem is of course if you really have
a great difficulty in getting through
interviews because you block out when
you get to an interview
that’s not so easily trainable you can
always go a little bit off piste now I
like the off piste firms they’re great
some sort of question that might be
landed at you some of my favorites
I’ll just give you a couple if you were
a dinosaur
what sort of dinosaur would you be well
do you know at my age sometimes I think
I’ve already arrived at that would you
rather fight a hundred duck-sized horses
or a horse sized duck that’s a famous
one now I’ve given that some thought and
I’ve asked the question a few times
about that and just to see what people
come up with personally I’d go with the
big duck if I didn’t train the big duck
get it in a tent travel around the
country get people to pay to come and
have a look at the big dark
I then wouldn’t have to work for a
company that’s asking me stupid
questions the one that really gets
everybody the one that I always used on
in interviews when I’m doing mock
interviews the one that really really
stretches people and really makes it
difficult for them and it’s always
delivered with a smile tell me something
about yourself that gets them every time
it’s grade blank over sweat start the
interview with that you’ve got a dead
but do you really want to be doing that
what sort of things are you actually
looking for I’ll give you some to me
some last thoughts on on what I think
the the interview process should should
be first of all let me just look at the
the advert side of things if you’re
advertising for you actually advertising
and encouraging people to apply for this
or you dis encouraging them if you’re
not encouraging them why not is it that
you’re looking for that one special
person that one person that just might
just happen to be free at the time
might just happen to be able to come and
work for you and wants to work for you
and you’re taking a bit of a risk
because if you can’t find that one
person you’re never gonna get there are
you worried that you’re gonna get too
many too many applications that’s
something I hear a lot but if you’ve got
that at least you’ve got the chance of
getting the right person you’ve got the
right person who might just have those
skills that you can convert into what
you want and how you want to do it how
you want to train them to come into your
company at the end of it if you’ve
managed to succeed and you’ve done well
and everything’s good and you’ve got the
right person and the right thing then
you can become the superhero of the
company and I think you’ve earned the
right to put your underpants on outside
of your trousers if you so wish and on
the Cape and put the tiara on if that’s
what suits and then you can adopt the
pose and say yes I am the superhero of
the company and yes you’ve got the job for life thank you
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