good afternoon so I’m not sure if I can
detect any bristling in the audience
with my somewhat controversial title
given that we sit here in a diversity
themed event what I will say is just
please bear with me particularly because
I’m going to be starting on such a
positive note there has never been a
better time to be a woman never have
women had as many opportunities as they
do now to run countries companies to
control their personal financial and sex
lives girls outperform boys at school
more go to university women in their 20s
and early 30s are frequently out earning
men we should feel optimistic and yet
we’re not in fact sometimes it seems all
womanhood is depressed faced by an
avalanche of information regarding the
ongoing disparity in fortunes between
women and men by a narrative of
disadvantage and societal patriarchy
that runs through me too the gender pay
gap the glass ceiling and more but how
crystal cuts are these assumptions and
what are the possible implications for
how women respond to both opportunities
and challenges in their lives so Who am
I a woman yes and a mother to three
children under five I’m a successful
entrepreneur enjoying a career where I
get to deal with some of the biggest
thinkers and doers in the world today in
business in politics in media academia
I’m privileged no question my race
background and opportunities mark me as
one of the privileged elite what do I
know about disadvantage what’s my agenda
here well as a woman I’m a minority in
my fields of technology entrepreneurship
hard industries to be a woman in also
the narrative would have a belief no not
so I don’t believe that this has been
added a disadvantage only the most
incredible opportunity one that has
enabled me to stand out and get
recognition
I describe myself as an entrepreneur not
a female entrepreneur because I
subscribe brand of feminism they told me
I could be and do anything the boys
could and in fact I’ve come to resent to
me towards positive discrimination that
might imply that any of my achievements
when we down to anything other than
merit if I look back at all my good
fortune I can honestly say that to a
large extent it’s been done to the love
support and belief of the men in my life
my father my husband the boss’s business
partners peers and mentors have enabled
my journey but of course the biggest
advantage I possess is self-confidence
and belief and it’s this that I want to
look at in more detail today why is it
seemingly so much harder to find in
women than in men and how might modern
feminism be further undermining it so
talk of the gender pay gap is everywhere
and actually incorrectly assumed by 70%
of the population to refer to women
being paid less for the same work not
true
illegal actually and also nonsensical as
surely businesses would prefer to pay a
cheaper workforce the median disparity
of eighteen point four percent can to a
large extent be explained by the choice
a forty two percent of women to work
part-time the figure drops to nine point
one percent when he compared full-time
to full-time with this figure
understandable to a degree by the fact
that women are choosing different
profession types women in their twenties
and early thirties as we’ve heard a
frequently are turning men the pay gap
is negligible it fluctuates some years
women are turn men and part-time women
actually out earn part-time men so in
effect the headline statistic ignores
many of the complicated variable factors
beneath it and in particular a potential
positive that a female choice the glass
ceiling it’s been shattered time and
time again by female heads of state and
business leaders demonstrating that for
those women that do aspire to that sort
of career
it’s absolutely possible these are of
course hard masochistic almost lives
filled with imbalance politics stress
long hours we can hardly even whisper
any suspicion we may have that this is a
lifestyle that fewer women and mothers
aspire to and arguably only the tiniest
percentage of men right now I’m
currently observing a large number of
some of my highest flying friends
quietly leaning out of aspirations of
making partner away from 60 our work
reeks with some choosing to quit
altogether so as not to enjoy these
early years of family life myself
included two years ago I made the
decision to step back from the front
seat of my business to spend more time
with my three children and it’s a
decision I will never regret having lost
two friends recently very early in their
lives it really brought home to me the
fact that I will never get these years
back that’s too important but of course
women like me a partly responsible for
gender pay gap many of us may never go
knocking on that glass ceiling because
it’s simply not a lifestyle that we
desire there’s just two of the big
feminist issues of our time with others
including me to online trolling body
shaming an objectification and domestic
violence all issues that you’d be
forgiven for thinking we’re exclusively
female now there’s been a lot of very
good intention campaigning behind these
issues and some very positive byproducts
such as the light being shine on some of
the more insidious ways and with
something commit Street and under Esther
underestimate women and of course on
abuses of power but my fear is that the
broad spectrum expanding definition of
prejudice and harassment is now
something that almost any woman create
with and we simply can’t cry misogyny
every time we called out or held back in
some way I fear for an ideology and a
rhetoric that so I think that women
against men the focus is on what we
can’t do and haven’t got rather than
what we can
have my intention is seeking to shine
light on some of the other side of these
issues it’s not to deny the existence of
discrimination that may exist in some of
them but to question the cumulative net
effect that a female victimhood feminism
like other forms of identity politics
have become obsessed with female
victimhood
where is it once used to be about the
portrayal of women as mature equal
partners in society it now seems more to
be about girl power
and yes it disempowers assumes that were
psychologists have long emphasized the
power of belief to be born out in
reality and how stereotypes contribute
to social inequality confidence is of
course self-fulfilling something you
will all have experienced you look good
you feel good you’re told someone likes
you more relaxed around them and
conversely if you suspect somebody
doesn’t like you then you’re acting a
more defensive less confident way around
them victims believe they are impotent
and that they have no sense of control
over the way that events unfold assuming
that something has happened to you due
to prejudice whether right or wrong is
rarely the most productive response it
prevents introspection self analysis and
more importantly particularly if it was
due to prejudice evaluation of new
methods and techniques for circumventing
your status quo and what about men well
there’s actually competition here for
competitive victimhood if we want to
play that game men have their own unique
set of disadvantages that are rarely up
for public discussion including higher
rates of school dropout of mental health
vastly higher suicide rates vastly
higher workplace deaths war deaths death
in crime higher rates of homelessness
criminal court bias and sentencing
disparity where men receive nearly 60
percent longer sentences and women for
the same crime near equal domestic abuse
rates
paternity fraud child custody and of
course reduced life expectancy even now
in this age of aspirational equality the
cry will go out women and children first
take for example the awful news story of
Boko harem and a terrorist that abducted
the girls did you know that prior to
this happening those same terrorists had
been abducting thousands of boys and
murdering hundreds of boys and young men
burnt alive in their schools shot in the
streets a situation that received no
international attention until the
terrorists turned their attention to the
girls and then first ladies media
celebrities politicians up in arms but
why only then why a boy’s life seemingly
valued so much less than girls who ever
may have it worse I take issue with a
debating Brown based on competitive
victimhood it’s fruitless its
destructive women are being encouraged
to fear and distrust men and men are
more nervous and guarded in their
interactions around women and worse
resentful of a label of patriarchy one
the vast vast majority don’t recognize
and you have their own challenges to
face already we’re seeing some rather
worrying byproducts to all of this such
as five times more men now less inclined
to mentor women in the wake of me –
seventy five percent of young girls yet
to experience any form of discrimination
talk about anxiety about it affecting
their lives in some way and
working-class girls have been deprived
of jobs that they love such as page 3
girls and grid girls because other women
disapprove of them what happened to my
body my choice it’s okay for Kim kyun
but not for a page three girl a men have
had their careers and reputations ruined
overnight by me to some possibly justly
but without any due process no innocence
until proven guilty and where might all
this lead quotas leading to doubts
inability was my recent MBE because of
positive discrimination am I on this
stage
because of it she’ll be banned flirting
on campus and in the workplace
incidentally two of the places where
you’re most likely to meet a life
partner my company thought recruiting
fewer women into entry-level lower paid
works so as to even up their gender pay
gaps and if 50/50 is the ultimate they
shouldn’t we be arguing for quotas for
more men in the fields of Nursing
teaching veterinary science more women
on the frontline in construction in
refuse collection and perhaps three most
important questions of all does power
exists solely in the boardroom and at
the highest levels of politics and
business or is that the possibility that
it exists in choice and arguably women
have more of that does equality of
opportunity have to equal equality of
outcome and aren’t the assumptions that
women need more support protection
quotas in the workplace arguably the
most patriarchal assumptions of all now
don’t get me wrong
I don’t believe that the women’s
movement has had its day or that there’s
no longer a case for feminism but I do
believe we need to reverse some of these
negative trends so here are three
positive solutions as I see it one where
girls are concerned the best way that we
beat prejudice is to build up confidence
and to show it and demonstrate it to be
wrong we teach girls strength and
resilience to call out prejudice in the
moment we celebrate successful women
hold them up there as role models for
both girls and boys we’re arguably the
impact maybe greater and we don’t do so
always complaining about the minority
representation and we celebrate the
unique power that women have today in
schools homes marriages families and yes
business and politics wildung immense
influence over the hearts and minds of
the future and too we turn our attention
to true gender equality stop painting
all men with the broad brush of
oppressor and recognize that yes there
are bad abusive men in this world
there are also bad fallible women sadly
we are all equally capable of inflicting
misery on each other and in a world
where women are able to participate more
equally in the public sphere we need to
better level the private for men in our
homes and families and it’s here that we
should refocus the debate and breathe we
give more oxygen to the truly deep
profound inequalities that still exist
in this world in developing countries
for women who can’t get the same
education get forced into arranged
marriages can’t have access to birth
control or here socio-economic and
educational disadvantage and the fact
that hiring typically still happens
along people like me Lions a much bigger
threat to business diversity than gender
and above all we listen to each other
with open minds play the ideological
ball and not the player be kind so it’s
often said that you can’t be what you
can’t see no not so someone who is
powerful figures in history have been
something that didn’t exist Rosa Parks
refused to give up her bus seats a pic
starting the course of civil rights
Stephen Hawking changed the world of
science with his brain irrespective of
his bodily weakness Tommie Smith and
John Carlos silently raised their fists
on the podium at the 68 Olympics so
drawing attention to black rights and
Malala stood up publicly to her
oppressors and earned her a platform
from which she could educate the world
he never believed they couldn’t they
never cried victim they were strong
resilient defiant just as a terror
terrorist driver of terror and the bully
of distress defiance ridicule even pity
is a much stronger antidote to bad
behavior than wounded insecurity we need
to stop thinking of gender as an
identity we have thrown so much more in
common with those with whom we share
values and outlook than chromosomes our
gender our race or sex
allottee our disability they are all
just part of the rich tapestry of who we
are as individuals and none of these
things outside of our control should
affect our outlook there are still a
huge number of inequalities in this
world but our individual right to self
belief is a simple and universal
possibility and it is best that we need
to instill in our young I guess it’s
actually not my daughter I’m worried
about in this new world view it’s my
sons but they’ll be ok because we’ll be
bringing them up to recognize their
individual potential to not indulge in
victimhood and to see that the power
they have being born where and when they
have is one of choice they’ll make all
their own and they’ll deeply respect those of other people
detect any bristling in the audience
with my somewhat controversial title
given that we sit here in a diversity
themed event what I will say is just
please bear with me particularly because
I’m going to be starting on such a
positive note there has never been a
better time to be a woman never have
women had as many opportunities as they
do now to run countries companies to
control their personal financial and sex
lives girls outperform boys at school
more go to university women in their 20s
and early 30s are frequently out earning
men we should feel optimistic and yet
we’re not in fact sometimes it seems all
womanhood is depressed faced by an
avalanche of information regarding the
ongoing disparity in fortunes between
women and men by a narrative of
disadvantage and societal patriarchy
that runs through me too the gender pay
gap the glass ceiling and more but how
crystal cuts are these assumptions and
what are the possible implications for
how women respond to both opportunities
and challenges in their lives so Who am
I a woman yes and a mother to three
children under five I’m a successful
entrepreneur enjoying a career where I
get to deal with some of the biggest
thinkers and doers in the world today in
business in politics in media academia
I’m privileged no question my race
background and opportunities mark me as
one of the privileged elite what do I
know about disadvantage what’s my agenda
here well as a woman I’m a minority in
my fields of technology entrepreneurship
hard industries to be a woman in also
the narrative would have a belief no not
so I don’t believe that this has been
added a disadvantage only the most
incredible opportunity one that has
enabled me to stand out and get
recognition
I describe myself as an entrepreneur not
a female entrepreneur because I
subscribe brand of feminism they told me
I could be and do anything the boys
could and in fact I’ve come to resent to
me towards positive discrimination that
might imply that any of my achievements
when we down to anything other than
merit if I look back at all my good
fortune I can honestly say that to a
large extent it’s been done to the love
support and belief of the men in my life
my father my husband the boss’s business
partners peers and mentors have enabled
my journey but of course the biggest
advantage I possess is self-confidence
and belief and it’s this that I want to
look at in more detail today why is it
seemingly so much harder to find in
women than in men and how might modern
feminism be further undermining it so
talk of the gender pay gap is everywhere
and actually incorrectly assumed by 70%
of the population to refer to women
being paid less for the same work not
true
illegal actually and also nonsensical as
surely businesses would prefer to pay a
cheaper workforce the median disparity
of eighteen point four percent can to a
large extent be explained by the choice
a forty two percent of women to work
part-time the figure drops to nine point
one percent when he compared full-time
to full-time with this figure
understandable to a degree by the fact
that women are choosing different
profession types women in their twenties
and early thirties as we’ve heard a
frequently are turning men the pay gap
is negligible it fluctuates some years
women are turn men and part-time women
actually out earn part-time men so in
effect the headline statistic ignores
many of the complicated variable factors
beneath it and in particular a potential
positive that a female choice the glass
ceiling it’s been shattered time and
time again by female heads of state and
business leaders demonstrating that for
those women that do aspire to that sort
of career
it’s absolutely possible these are of
course hard masochistic almost lives
filled with imbalance politics stress
long hours we can hardly even whisper
any suspicion we may have that this is a
lifestyle that fewer women and mothers
aspire to and arguably only the tiniest
percentage of men right now I’m
currently observing a large number of
some of my highest flying friends
quietly leaning out of aspirations of
making partner away from 60 our work
reeks with some choosing to quit
altogether so as not to enjoy these
early years of family life myself
included two years ago I made the
decision to step back from the front
seat of my business to spend more time
with my three children and it’s a
decision I will never regret having lost
two friends recently very early in their
lives it really brought home to me the
fact that I will never get these years
back that’s too important but of course
women like me a partly responsible for
gender pay gap many of us may never go
knocking on that glass ceiling because
it’s simply not a lifestyle that we
desire there’s just two of the big
feminist issues of our time with others
including me to online trolling body
shaming an objectification and domestic
violence all issues that you’d be
forgiven for thinking we’re exclusively
female now there’s been a lot of very
good intention campaigning behind these
issues and some very positive byproducts
such as the light being shine on some of
the more insidious ways and with
something commit Street and under Esther
underestimate women and of course on
abuses of power but my fear is that the
broad spectrum expanding definition of
prejudice and harassment is now
something that almost any woman create
with and we simply can’t cry misogyny
every time we called out or held back in
some way I fear for an ideology and a
rhetoric that so I think that women
against men the focus is on what we
can’t do and haven’t got rather than
what we can
have my intention is seeking to shine
light on some of the other side of these
issues it’s not to deny the existence of
discrimination that may exist in some of
them but to question the cumulative net
effect that a female victimhood feminism
like other forms of identity politics
have become obsessed with female
victimhood
where is it once used to be about the
portrayal of women as mature equal
partners in society it now seems more to
be about girl power
and yes it disempowers assumes that were
psychologists have long emphasized the
power of belief to be born out in
reality and how stereotypes contribute
to social inequality confidence is of
course self-fulfilling something you
will all have experienced you look good
you feel good you’re told someone likes
you more relaxed around them and
conversely if you suspect somebody
doesn’t like you then you’re acting a
more defensive less confident way around
them victims believe they are impotent
and that they have no sense of control
over the way that events unfold assuming
that something has happened to you due
to prejudice whether right or wrong is
rarely the most productive response it
prevents introspection self analysis and
more importantly particularly if it was
due to prejudice evaluation of new
methods and techniques for circumventing
your status quo and what about men well
there’s actually competition here for
competitive victimhood if we want to
play that game men have their own unique
set of disadvantages that are rarely up
for public discussion including higher
rates of school dropout of mental health
vastly higher suicide rates vastly
higher workplace deaths war deaths death
in crime higher rates of homelessness
criminal court bias and sentencing
disparity where men receive nearly 60
percent longer sentences and women for
the same crime near equal domestic abuse
rates
paternity fraud child custody and of
course reduced life expectancy even now
in this age of aspirational equality the
cry will go out women and children first
take for example the awful news story of
Boko harem and a terrorist that abducted
the girls did you know that prior to
this happening those same terrorists had
been abducting thousands of boys and
murdering hundreds of boys and young men
burnt alive in their schools shot in the
streets a situation that received no
international attention until the
terrorists turned their attention to the
girls and then first ladies media
celebrities politicians up in arms but
why only then why a boy’s life seemingly
valued so much less than girls who ever
may have it worse I take issue with a
debating Brown based on competitive
victimhood it’s fruitless its
destructive women are being encouraged
to fear and distrust men and men are
more nervous and guarded in their
interactions around women and worse
resentful of a label of patriarchy one
the vast vast majority don’t recognize
and you have their own challenges to
face already we’re seeing some rather
worrying byproducts to all of this such
as five times more men now less inclined
to mentor women in the wake of me –
seventy five percent of young girls yet
to experience any form of discrimination
talk about anxiety about it affecting
their lives in some way and
working-class girls have been deprived
of jobs that they love such as page 3
girls and grid girls because other women
disapprove of them what happened to my
body my choice it’s okay for Kim kyun
but not for a page three girl a men have
had their careers and reputations ruined
overnight by me to some possibly justly
but without any due process no innocence
until proven guilty and where might all
this lead quotas leading to doubts
inability was my recent MBE because of
positive discrimination am I on this
stage
because of it she’ll be banned flirting
on campus and in the workplace
incidentally two of the places where
you’re most likely to meet a life
partner my company thought recruiting
fewer women into entry-level lower paid
works so as to even up their gender pay
gaps and if 50/50 is the ultimate they
shouldn’t we be arguing for quotas for
more men in the fields of Nursing
teaching veterinary science more women
on the frontline in construction in
refuse collection and perhaps three most
important questions of all does power
exists solely in the boardroom and at
the highest levels of politics and
business or is that the possibility that
it exists in choice and arguably women
have more of that does equality of
opportunity have to equal equality of
outcome and aren’t the assumptions that
women need more support protection
quotas in the workplace arguably the
most patriarchal assumptions of all now
don’t get me wrong
I don’t believe that the women’s
movement has had its day or that there’s
no longer a case for feminism but I do
believe we need to reverse some of these
negative trends so here are three
positive solutions as I see it one where
girls are concerned the best way that we
beat prejudice is to build up confidence
and to show it and demonstrate it to be
wrong we teach girls strength and
resilience to call out prejudice in the
moment we celebrate successful women
hold them up there as role models for
both girls and boys we’re arguably the
impact maybe greater and we don’t do so
always complaining about the minority
representation and we celebrate the
unique power that women have today in
schools homes marriages families and yes
business and politics wildung immense
influence over the hearts and minds of
the future and too we turn our attention
to true gender equality stop painting
all men with the broad brush of
oppressor and recognize that yes there
are bad abusive men in this world
there are also bad fallible women sadly
we are all equally capable of inflicting
misery on each other and in a world
where women are able to participate more
equally in the public sphere we need to
better level the private for men in our
homes and families and it’s here that we
should refocus the debate and breathe we
give more oxygen to the truly deep
profound inequalities that still exist
in this world in developing countries
for women who can’t get the same
education get forced into arranged
marriages can’t have access to birth
control or here socio-economic and
educational disadvantage and the fact
that hiring typically still happens
along people like me Lions a much bigger
threat to business diversity than gender
and above all we listen to each other
with open minds play the ideological
ball and not the player be kind so it’s
often said that you can’t be what you
can’t see no not so someone who is
powerful figures in history have been
something that didn’t exist Rosa Parks
refused to give up her bus seats a pic
starting the course of civil rights
Stephen Hawking changed the world of
science with his brain irrespective of
his bodily weakness Tommie Smith and
John Carlos silently raised their fists
on the podium at the 68 Olympics so
drawing attention to black rights and
Malala stood up publicly to her
oppressors and earned her a platform
from which she could educate the world
he never believed they couldn’t they
never cried victim they were strong
resilient defiant just as a terror
terrorist driver of terror and the bully
of distress defiance ridicule even pity
is a much stronger antidote to bad
behavior than wounded insecurity we need
to stop thinking of gender as an
identity we have thrown so much more in
common with those with whom we share
values and outlook than chromosomes our
gender our race or sex
allottee our disability they are all
just part of the rich tapestry of who we
are as individuals and none of these
things outside of our control should
affect our outlook there are still a
huge number of inequalities in this
world but our individual right to self
belief is a simple and universal
possibility and it is best that we need
to instill in our young I guess it’s
actually not my daughter I’m worried
about in this new world view it’s my
sons but they’ll be ok because we’ll be
bringing them up to recognize their
individual potential to not indulge in
victimhood and to see that the power
they have being born where and when they
have is one of choice they’ll make all
their own and they’ll deeply respect those of other people
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