I am a loser
let me explain I’m part of the track
team at my high school and earlier this
year we had a competition a bit of
backstory participation in athletic
period as a requirement either a team
sport or P I lacked coordination
necessary for basketball volleyball
soccer or swimming so I joined track
what’s easier than running right the
story goes that my coach forced me to
participate in a meet which was
something I couldn’t back out of without
impacting my GPA but still I was very
nervous because I’m also a terrible
runner
I had horrific times and I truly hate to
compete the day before during our final
practice I was so scared of public
embarrassment I didn’t even try even
while practicing I was so petrified of
finishing behind my teammates that I
decided to quit the race my fear of
failure paralyzed me I remember standing
there right behind the starting line my
heart racing my knees weak and a heavy
feeling of helplessness in my chest as I
walked towards the finish line
already giving up before I started I’m
refusing horrible about myself I was
ashamed for not being able to conquer my
emotions and keep going fear clouded my
judgement slowly transforming
determination into desperation that day
when I went home I remember jumping in
the shower attempting to slip and break
my foot I was desperately trying not to
show up the next day it’s incredible to
think I would have rather broken my foot
than participate in a friendly
competition I’m not even sure why was it
the idea of competing of comparing my
skills to everybody else’s what if I did
it like what I found after a while
however
xiety calm down by confronting these
questions I slowly came to realize that
even in the worst case scenario it might
be bad for a time but ultimately I’d be
ok I would get over it
I could always train harder for next
time nobody was looking so critically at
me as I was at myself I needed to stop
judging myself learn not to take life so
seriously swallow my pride and get over
my ego so why didn’t I hear plays an
important role in the human brain and
body according to NYU neuroscientist
Joseph odo fear is the most undercity
motion as it has visible physiological
effects on humans we know it to be among
the most significant instinctual
responses because it helps us survive in
times of danger fear is essential to
human survival it protect us from
threats through unconscious behavior
that our brain learns to associate with
stimuli like Heights
snakes or house that’s on fire when our
brain detects a threat to our personal
well-being or happiness it determines an
appropriate response either fight or
flight the first meaning we will lean
and to formative discomfort and find a
solution to the problem on the ladder to
avoid the problem completely friendly
track competitions may not evoke fear
for survival although they are tied to
different feelings of stress and
nervousness
that’s a say such a feeling isn’t tied
to anything that would be considered
immediately life-threatening if not with
the projected fear of discomfort and
shame these feelings left on faith can
even trigger clip crippling anxiety as I
learned just before the track knee the
reason why we fear things oppose little
threat to our lives essentially comes
down to understanding the difference
between a serious threat as opposed to
something that’s potentially harmful
according to National Geographic you
have a 1 in 63 chance of dying from the
flu on the other hand the chances of
getting killed by a shark are much lower
by comparison
most of us haven’t stick with the flow
and don’t give it much importance sharks
have a reputation of being a lot scarier
Hollywood has made millions capitalizing
often unfounded fear sharks how many
movies have you seen made about the flu
and statistically speaking the flucos
where people and generally more people
are susceptible to it so logically that
is what should be scarier yeah it’s not
what we necessarily see reflected in
society fear can contort decisions and
we let it but what if instead we chose
to actively face our fear stress and
anxiety what if we were to work towards
becoming familiar with and accepting
things that because nervous are
uncomfortable the result could be that
we would overcome feelings that
otherwise dominate us how can we fear
failure and we all go through it
haven’t you fail the test gone through a
breakup underperformed in an activity
you knew you’d do well in or been
publicly embarrassed the mere thought of
failure can make people really uneasy
myself included but this just
complicates our response many people
fear nobody enjoys having their dreams
wrecked or seeing themselves hit rock
bottom after facing rejection or defeat
many people fear failure because it can
be a truly demoralizing experience it’s
damaging to your egos and our precious
self-image and we are accustomed
struggling often we can come to doubt
ourselves and our aptitude to overcome
challenges in the future Western society
has arguably spent the Passover ages
becoming increasingly hedonistic the
term hedonism was first used by Epicurus
a Greek philosophers study happiness he
observed a human tendency to seek
pleasure as a means of feeling
fulfillment and today in 2018 I see my
generation distracting themselves just
as the peekers described by seeking
pleasure as the beginning and the end
towards happiness in many cases pleasure
becomes falsely confused with
perceptions of success and this has
impacted our over capacity to feel true
lasting happiness
and satisfaction in our lives which
often arises from striving through
struggle so ask yourself when difficulty
arises do you see people around you
leaning into this comfort or seeking the
path of least resistance I see people
around me who default to seek pleasure
thereby avoiding pain or distress now
learned that to do this is to only
self-indulgence doing only what we want
at what feels good at the moment and
have another great downside coming to
reject the idea of failure as opposed to
accepting it as a natural part of the
human experience this sets us up for
self defeat failure rejection are
extremely important to personal growth
and development and only in accepting
this and struggling through discomfort
can we learn how to function to not
break down in the face of adverse
circumstances that we are sure to
encounter until we learn to embrace
failure it feels like an uncomfortable
vehicle driving us toward self-doubt it
forces us to question ourselves and
aptitude to fulfill our potential
according to Michael Buchanan of a BBC
this could account for why teenage
suicide rates are reaching an all-time
high worldwide he contends that this is
especially intensified during exam
season why exams are high stakes and
young people people are my generation
who don’t learn how to deal with failure
and practice it often continue to feel
that we fail were unworthy of success a
respect oh love and acceptance this
tendency of perspective is prevalent in
many societies around the world today
although it’s not everywhere it wasn’t
always this way ancient Greece is
arguably the origin of our Western
civilization it has provided us with
modern political ideologies among other
central practices that are still used
today although we evolved from it we did
not maintain their outlook on defeat the
ancient Greeks were great at accepting
failure they saw as something we’re all
universally impacted by
in the 6th century BCE tragedies of our
common theme in theater and mythology
plays were popularized forms of
entertainment that often featured tragic
heroes like prometheus
a Titan who stole fire from the gods and
gave it to humans as legend has it he’s
the mythological cause of civilization
and human advancement yet because he
defies the gods he was sentenced to
eternal torture his punishment could be
chained to a rock where an eagle can
feed on his liver every single day being
a Titan and immortal Prometheus is
incapable of dying and his liver fully
regenerated itself before was devoured
all over again Sisyphus is a second
example the Greeks drew from to glorify
failure he was condemned by the gods to
roll an immense boulder up a mountain
for eternity as soon as he would reach
the peak the rock would roll back down
in an act of most utility his response
to start all over again such tragic
heroes as Sisyphus and Prometheus serve
as embodiment of the human experience
our otherwise unavoidable human
catastrophe although they face terrible
difficulties there are stories that
remains ideal life even today they
remind us that bad things happen to
people indiscriminately and to fear fail
and defeat is wasted energy it’s foolish
Aristotle proclaims that I tried to
results from a chain of unfortunate
events not due to the abilities auron
abilities of its characters tragic
playwrights help the public understand
that failure does not impact a person’s
worth or dictate the whole story instead
it merely demonstrates a piece of it
what we choose to do in response will
ultimately find who we are meant to
become but is it really a wonder that
this legacy hasn’t remained intact
compare the stories of Prometheus and
Sisyphus as role models with today’s
tabloids and newspaper headlines there’s
a
tendency in today’s media to criticize
individuals severely for their mistakes
with seemingly insignificant errors
presented shamefully rather than to
engender empathy the flip side of a
tragedy is a comedy and the Greeks uses
genre with satire to make fun of
government irrelevant current events
many of which Illustrated serious life
matters in a light-hearted way such
works presented the alternate
perspective teaching that tragedies and
misfortune at a richness to life
these comedies and political critiques
showed the audience to learn that in
every situation there is an opportunity
to balance back our modern-day tragedy
is that many avoid discomfort esther’s
as an integral part of development and
self actualization I thought that this
is because we’re less capable or less
driven I believe we want to succeed but
not all of us have the tools to do so
few of my peers will take risks to get
where they want to be avoidance because
pattern and we eventually become frozen
or worse so entrenched in our own
complacency that we have bored handling
difficult situations all together
training to climb Mount Everest for
example would take a lot of work and
only a little over half of all those who
set out to climate will actually reach
the summit nevertheless staying at home
on your couch eating pizza will never be
nearly as gratifying as a journey up or
else no one would attempt it in the
first place we all do or don’t do things
in order to avoid pain and because we’re
attached to pleasure
these motivating factors make up a
spatial portion of our daily
interactions and choices fear failure is
not well-founded even in the worst case
scenarios we can and should persevere
through moments of vulnerability and
weakness and try to improve the saying
goes it’s not whether you get knocked
down it’s a choice to get back up the
counts successful people see failure as
a means for self-improvement
understanding that if at first
they don’t succeed they can just try
again it is a matter not of intelligence
or skill but of determination determined
people understand that hard work pays
off and there are many things that we
can sacrifice to get what we want and
need to succeed but what about
circumstances were unable to control
which no matter what we do or how hard
we try we still fail maybe we can’t
change the outcome but can’t we change
your response instead of feeling utter
devastation and self-doubt in the face
of failure couldn’t we choose to view as
something positive as an opportunity ask
yourself how many times are you willing
to fail in pursuit of your goals how
ready are you to keep trying
despite the chances that you will fail
all over again you might be wondering
what can be done to change the
detrimental outlook in ourselves and in
our society how do we encourage
generations out previously feared
failure to embrace and recover from the
losses first believe in the power of you
failure is usually only temporary so
don’t stop believing yourself this is
essential because it shows us when faith
our shortcomings ultimately serve to
improve our skills self-efficacy and
self-concept we persevere to overcome
challenges second accept that you will
fail and choose to fail often empathize
with yourself and with others as you
persevered through failure the
alternative is to reject this notion
which in turn projects part of ourselves
and the natural human experience it’s
far more empowering to trust that we
fail we could just try again third seek
opportunities to confront your fear
stress and anxiety change your outlook
about them so that they’re seen as up
our opportunities for growth take
calculated risks that grow you as a
person and be courageous to confront
your fears even if and especially if
they scare you
Adam grant talks about the greatest
originals as people who fail the most
because they’re the ones who tried the
most keep trying and producing even if
you’re afraid that your efforts won’t be
received well fourth redefined success
so that encapsulates the entirety of the
human experience in the end short term
failure will lead to long term success
because life is after all a marathon not
a sprint
a we get stuck in the here now we ignore
the big picture so back to my story I
went to the track competition despite
the terror I felt I grit my teeth and I
ran what I needed to run that day I
ended up enlisting competitions I hadn’t
trained for like long jump and shock but
even if I didn’t know it at the time I
am proud of getting over my fear and
wouldn’t you know I came in first place
to every single competition just kidding
I please laughs I was expected but I now
recognize the importance of not backing
down for challenges my previous refusal
to face adverse circumstances could have
become habitual if I continue to evade
problems by running away from them which
is points a dental when your so-called
problem involves avoiding actual running
had I choose it to stay at home that
they had successfully broken my foot I
would have given up on the race but more
importantly I would have given up on
myself taking risks and confronting my
fears turning me down a path of self
perfection now allowed me and engage
with myself and my life in a much
healthier way today I wouldn’t so much
as think about causing injury to myself
to get out of an uncomfortable situation
or commitment like say giving a TEDx
talk instead of shying away from
discomfort I actively seek opportunities
that will challenge me and I accept that
I alone can decide whether the drama of
a particular experience will become the
comedy I can laugh at or the tragedy
that the fine
me so I choose to feel good about my
failure and encourage you to do the same
so yes I am a loser
but I’m happy knowing that no number of
losses will ever define me [Applause]
let me explain I’m part of the track
team at my high school and earlier this
year we had a competition a bit of
backstory participation in athletic
period as a requirement either a team
sport or P I lacked coordination
necessary for basketball volleyball
soccer or swimming so I joined track
what’s easier than running right the
story goes that my coach forced me to
participate in a meet which was
something I couldn’t back out of without
impacting my GPA but still I was very
nervous because I’m also a terrible
runner
I had horrific times and I truly hate to
compete the day before during our final
practice I was so scared of public
embarrassment I didn’t even try even
while practicing I was so petrified of
finishing behind my teammates that I
decided to quit the race my fear of
failure paralyzed me I remember standing
there right behind the starting line my
heart racing my knees weak and a heavy
feeling of helplessness in my chest as I
walked towards the finish line
already giving up before I started I’m
refusing horrible about myself I was
ashamed for not being able to conquer my
emotions and keep going fear clouded my
judgement slowly transforming
determination into desperation that day
when I went home I remember jumping in
the shower attempting to slip and break
my foot I was desperately trying not to
show up the next day it’s incredible to
think I would have rather broken my foot
than participate in a friendly
competition I’m not even sure why was it
the idea of competing of comparing my
skills to everybody else’s what if I did
it like what I found after a while
however
xiety calm down by confronting these
questions I slowly came to realize that
even in the worst case scenario it might
be bad for a time but ultimately I’d be
ok I would get over it
I could always train harder for next
time nobody was looking so critically at
me as I was at myself I needed to stop
judging myself learn not to take life so
seriously swallow my pride and get over
my ego so why didn’t I hear plays an
important role in the human brain and
body according to NYU neuroscientist
Joseph odo fear is the most undercity
motion as it has visible physiological
effects on humans we know it to be among
the most significant instinctual
responses because it helps us survive in
times of danger fear is essential to
human survival it protect us from
threats through unconscious behavior
that our brain learns to associate with
stimuli like Heights
snakes or house that’s on fire when our
brain detects a threat to our personal
well-being or happiness it determines an
appropriate response either fight or
flight the first meaning we will lean
and to formative discomfort and find a
solution to the problem on the ladder to
avoid the problem completely friendly
track competitions may not evoke fear
for survival although they are tied to
different feelings of stress and
nervousness
that’s a say such a feeling isn’t tied
to anything that would be considered
immediately life-threatening if not with
the projected fear of discomfort and
shame these feelings left on faith can
even trigger clip crippling anxiety as I
learned just before the track knee the
reason why we fear things oppose little
threat to our lives essentially comes
down to understanding the difference
between a serious threat as opposed to
something that’s potentially harmful
according to National Geographic you
have a 1 in 63 chance of dying from the
flu on the other hand the chances of
getting killed by a shark are much lower
by comparison
most of us haven’t stick with the flow
and don’t give it much importance sharks
have a reputation of being a lot scarier
Hollywood has made millions capitalizing
often unfounded fear sharks how many
movies have you seen made about the flu
and statistically speaking the flucos
where people and generally more people
are susceptible to it so logically that
is what should be scarier yeah it’s not
what we necessarily see reflected in
society fear can contort decisions and
we let it but what if instead we chose
to actively face our fear stress and
anxiety what if we were to work towards
becoming familiar with and accepting
things that because nervous are
uncomfortable the result could be that
we would overcome feelings that
otherwise dominate us how can we fear
failure and we all go through it
haven’t you fail the test gone through a
breakup underperformed in an activity
you knew you’d do well in or been
publicly embarrassed the mere thought of
failure can make people really uneasy
myself included but this just
complicates our response many people
fear nobody enjoys having their dreams
wrecked or seeing themselves hit rock
bottom after facing rejection or defeat
many people fear failure because it can
be a truly demoralizing experience it’s
damaging to your egos and our precious
self-image and we are accustomed
struggling often we can come to doubt
ourselves and our aptitude to overcome
challenges in the future Western society
has arguably spent the Passover ages
becoming increasingly hedonistic the
term hedonism was first used by Epicurus
a Greek philosophers study happiness he
observed a human tendency to seek
pleasure as a means of feeling
fulfillment and today in 2018 I see my
generation distracting themselves just
as the peekers described by seeking
pleasure as the beginning and the end
towards happiness in many cases pleasure
becomes falsely confused with
perceptions of success and this has
impacted our over capacity to feel true
lasting happiness
and satisfaction in our lives which
often arises from striving through
struggle so ask yourself when difficulty
arises do you see people around you
leaning into this comfort or seeking the
path of least resistance I see people
around me who default to seek pleasure
thereby avoiding pain or distress now
learned that to do this is to only
self-indulgence doing only what we want
at what feels good at the moment and
have another great downside coming to
reject the idea of failure as opposed to
accepting it as a natural part of the
human experience this sets us up for
self defeat failure rejection are
extremely important to personal growth
and development and only in accepting
this and struggling through discomfort
can we learn how to function to not
break down in the face of adverse
circumstances that we are sure to
encounter until we learn to embrace
failure it feels like an uncomfortable
vehicle driving us toward self-doubt it
forces us to question ourselves and
aptitude to fulfill our potential
according to Michael Buchanan of a BBC
this could account for why teenage
suicide rates are reaching an all-time
high worldwide he contends that this is
especially intensified during exam
season why exams are high stakes and
young people people are my generation
who don’t learn how to deal with failure
and practice it often continue to feel
that we fail were unworthy of success a
respect oh love and acceptance this
tendency of perspective is prevalent in
many societies around the world today
although it’s not everywhere it wasn’t
always this way ancient Greece is
arguably the origin of our Western
civilization it has provided us with
modern political ideologies among other
central practices that are still used
today although we evolved from it we did
not maintain their outlook on defeat the
ancient Greeks were great at accepting
failure they saw as something we’re all
universally impacted by
in the 6th century BCE tragedies of our
common theme in theater and mythology
plays were popularized forms of
entertainment that often featured tragic
heroes like prometheus
a Titan who stole fire from the gods and
gave it to humans as legend has it he’s
the mythological cause of civilization
and human advancement yet because he
defies the gods he was sentenced to
eternal torture his punishment could be
chained to a rock where an eagle can
feed on his liver every single day being
a Titan and immortal Prometheus is
incapable of dying and his liver fully
regenerated itself before was devoured
all over again Sisyphus is a second
example the Greeks drew from to glorify
failure he was condemned by the gods to
roll an immense boulder up a mountain
for eternity as soon as he would reach
the peak the rock would roll back down
in an act of most utility his response
to start all over again such tragic
heroes as Sisyphus and Prometheus serve
as embodiment of the human experience
our otherwise unavoidable human
catastrophe although they face terrible
difficulties there are stories that
remains ideal life even today they
remind us that bad things happen to
people indiscriminately and to fear fail
and defeat is wasted energy it’s foolish
Aristotle proclaims that I tried to
results from a chain of unfortunate
events not due to the abilities auron
abilities of its characters tragic
playwrights help the public understand
that failure does not impact a person’s
worth or dictate the whole story instead
it merely demonstrates a piece of it
what we choose to do in response will
ultimately find who we are meant to
become but is it really a wonder that
this legacy hasn’t remained intact
compare the stories of Prometheus and
Sisyphus as role models with today’s
tabloids and newspaper headlines there’s
a
tendency in today’s media to criticize
individuals severely for their mistakes
with seemingly insignificant errors
presented shamefully rather than to
engender empathy the flip side of a
tragedy is a comedy and the Greeks uses
genre with satire to make fun of
government irrelevant current events
many of which Illustrated serious life
matters in a light-hearted way such
works presented the alternate
perspective teaching that tragedies and
misfortune at a richness to life
these comedies and political critiques
showed the audience to learn that in
every situation there is an opportunity
to balance back our modern-day tragedy
is that many avoid discomfort esther’s
as an integral part of development and
self actualization I thought that this
is because we’re less capable or less
driven I believe we want to succeed but
not all of us have the tools to do so
few of my peers will take risks to get
where they want to be avoidance because
pattern and we eventually become frozen
or worse so entrenched in our own
complacency that we have bored handling
difficult situations all together
training to climb Mount Everest for
example would take a lot of work and
only a little over half of all those who
set out to climate will actually reach
the summit nevertheless staying at home
on your couch eating pizza will never be
nearly as gratifying as a journey up or
else no one would attempt it in the
first place we all do or don’t do things
in order to avoid pain and because we’re
attached to pleasure
these motivating factors make up a
spatial portion of our daily
interactions and choices fear failure is
not well-founded even in the worst case
scenarios we can and should persevere
through moments of vulnerability and
weakness and try to improve the saying
goes it’s not whether you get knocked
down it’s a choice to get back up the
counts successful people see failure as
a means for self-improvement
understanding that if at first
they don’t succeed they can just try
again it is a matter not of intelligence
or skill but of determination determined
people understand that hard work pays
off and there are many things that we
can sacrifice to get what we want and
need to succeed but what about
circumstances were unable to control
which no matter what we do or how hard
we try we still fail maybe we can’t
change the outcome but can’t we change
your response instead of feeling utter
devastation and self-doubt in the face
of failure couldn’t we choose to view as
something positive as an opportunity ask
yourself how many times are you willing
to fail in pursuit of your goals how
ready are you to keep trying
despite the chances that you will fail
all over again you might be wondering
what can be done to change the
detrimental outlook in ourselves and in
our society how do we encourage
generations out previously feared
failure to embrace and recover from the
losses first believe in the power of you
failure is usually only temporary so
don’t stop believing yourself this is
essential because it shows us when faith
our shortcomings ultimately serve to
improve our skills self-efficacy and
self-concept we persevere to overcome
challenges second accept that you will
fail and choose to fail often empathize
with yourself and with others as you
persevered through failure the
alternative is to reject this notion
which in turn projects part of ourselves
and the natural human experience it’s
far more empowering to trust that we
fail we could just try again third seek
opportunities to confront your fear
stress and anxiety change your outlook
about them so that they’re seen as up
our opportunities for growth take
calculated risks that grow you as a
person and be courageous to confront
your fears even if and especially if
they scare you
Adam grant talks about the greatest
originals as people who fail the most
because they’re the ones who tried the
most keep trying and producing even if
you’re afraid that your efforts won’t be
received well fourth redefined success
so that encapsulates the entirety of the
human experience in the end short term
failure will lead to long term success
because life is after all a marathon not
a sprint
a we get stuck in the here now we ignore
the big picture so back to my story I
went to the track competition despite
the terror I felt I grit my teeth and I
ran what I needed to run that day I
ended up enlisting competitions I hadn’t
trained for like long jump and shock but
even if I didn’t know it at the time I
am proud of getting over my fear and
wouldn’t you know I came in first place
to every single competition just kidding
I please laughs I was expected but I now
recognize the importance of not backing
down for challenges my previous refusal
to face adverse circumstances could have
become habitual if I continue to evade
problems by running away from them which
is points a dental when your so-called
problem involves avoiding actual running
had I choose it to stay at home that
they had successfully broken my foot I
would have given up on the race but more
importantly I would have given up on
myself taking risks and confronting my
fears turning me down a path of self
perfection now allowed me and engage
with myself and my life in a much
healthier way today I wouldn’t so much
as think about causing injury to myself
to get out of an uncomfortable situation
or commitment like say giving a TEDx
talk instead of shying away from
discomfort I actively seek opportunities
that will challenge me and I accept that
I alone can decide whether the drama of
a particular experience will become the
comedy I can laugh at or the tragedy
that the fine
me so I choose to feel good about my
failure and encourage you to do the same
so yes I am a loser
but I’m happy knowing that no number of
losses will ever define me [Applause]
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