being moderately famous and you describe
one of those perils as an existence in a
perpetual state of limbo right because
you neither this massive megastar nor
your the average Joe and in your book
you went back to an anecdote where you
were in this department store and one
person recognized you a couple of people
did but not everyone did and you said
you know they had Astra hey are you
famous and that incident left you
feeling with this odd mixture of
embarrassment and self-importance and
that’s a very interesting conundrum to
be in how did you come to embrace this
type of liminality as part of your
identity well it’s not been easy and the
incident you’re referring to actually is
it took place in London and of course if
you’ve been to Oxford Street you know
that you run into most of India when
there holidaying in London on Oxford
Street and I’ve gone with some of my
friends from University who I I mean
they understood that I’ve become
relatively famous
so when a bunch of Indian girls stopped
and were pointing at me they were
impressed they were English friends of
mine they were quite impressed and they
said oh you really are famous and I was
feeling quite self-important at that
point
until I overheard one of the girls
asking someone else do you know who she
is and the other person said yeah of
course and they said she said fully
consistent even know my name so I think
that’s where I fit in where I am
recognized often you know they do know
my name more often than not it’s because
of rang de basanti I have done other
films as well and more often than not
I’m recognized by Association for
someone more famous in my family that
I’m related to everyone has their own
personal favourites Tiger parody so I’m
allowed to go or some Saif Ali Khan
mainly the country is in love with their
these are things yes it’s very it’s very
worrying but these are things that I
think because from a very young age I’ve
grown up around fame and fortune to an
extent I think as a result of that I
haven’t taken theme very seriously also
because my parents wore it with so much
ease and grace I suspect I just thought
it was a not something to really aspire
towards and it’s all right to
participate it’s not necessarily all
it’s it’s okay also not to excel at
everything and just by definition not
everybody can excel
not everybody can come number one but
that doesn’t mean that we don’t accept
ourselves that we don’t love ourselves
and that we don’t enjoy the space that
we’re in so I was trying to think of a
time when I fought against that and
really I think from a very young age I
was just happy being me and I was happy
being in the middle in a family of
achievers in an industry where they are
of course a lot of people who are more
famous than you more successful than you
and I really enjoyed the space that I’m
in so I think the idea is to live in the
present if you’re constantly trying to
be somewhere else to be better than what
you are to be happier than where you are
you’re going to be you know you’re not
going to be happy you’re not going to be
content for your whole life and what’s
the point of that right I mean as you
say in the middle and I think you know
you have such a unique perspective you
have this inside look and personal
experiences with the superstardom yet
the other side where it’s hey I’m
creating life on my own terms and
success means what it means to me on my
own terms to be able to navigate these
two diametrically opposite worlds is
very very difficult do you see this as a
blessing or a curse I see it as a just a
fact of life I mean it’s my life and
there’s lots of advantages of being me
you know I I joke about being moderately
famous by saying it can be frustrating
because for example when you go to the
airport you have to be in queue to get
into the airport sometimes or to
check-in so of course when I’m standing
in that queue I’m recognized and people
would come up to you and take you know
the selfies that we love to take and we
all look so good in
but you know you’re not that famous
where you can jump the queue and get to
the front so you get stuff you know so
it’s a little annoying that way you can
get bookings at restaurants because you
can say oh you know I’m so hot
Ali Khan and then of course but your
meal is not paid for because you’re not
[Laughter]
you get an access you get an insight to
both worlds but again it’s all it’s all
relative
and I laugh at the fact that there’s a
national newspaper there actually tables
how famous you are every month and I’ve
seen myself and that ranking go from you
know number I think you know I was 49
Greece I became pregnant and I went up
you know it takes odd things and you
suddenly become more famous and then you
know it wasn’t very interesting and I
think I was kicked off my personal best
was 11 and I got very excited I don’t
know what I did that month but you know
I don’t know how you table I don’t know
how you how you how you measure these
things but people do and I think again I
get through it and I I think the
juxtaposition becomes easier when you
tend not to take yourself too seriously
I mean that’s definitely part of the
answer to my next question is I mean you
handle this with so much ease and you
make it look so easy
but there must be days where you feel
inadequate you know there’s so many
people around you they’re doing so many
wonderful things and they’re all over
social media how do you handle and cope
with potential fake feeling of
inadequacy well a you keep thinking oh
if that if they’re professionally
successful they must be deeply unhappy
obviously because you know they must
they love like my son and it helps me
get through most days and I’m like oh
you know baby but apart from that you
know I think that I think that’s
actually deeply the most honest thing
they’ve probably said that’s very
authentic and that’s exactly I mean I
wouldn’t have guessed that just but
that’s a very authentic answer I think
we all do that we we kind of brace
ourselves with that a little and be well
they don’t have what I have kind of a
thing it helps right it’s true it really
does have I think that it’s one thing I
enjoy doing is traveling also I think it
just broadens your perspective because
it can be very confining I remember my
first review coming out and I I’ve
actually been
successful at things like academics and
my previous career which was at Citibank
as a banker and I was meant to do other
things and I joined the industry and I
thought acting was going to be easy and
I expected to do well at it and my first
film review came out and it said she
looks like her mother
but she acts like her father and of
course the person who was most confused
was my father who said you know I think
I act quite well but I suspect the
reviewer didn’t mean it as a compliment
and it took a while to get out of that
funk and then you understand also that
you know I thought I was thinking about
it more than anyone else
people read reviews it doesn’t really
register with them it’s used to line the
news you know the waste paper basket and
people move on so again it’s one
person’s opinion you understand I’ve
joined an industry where of course
people are going to compare you to most
successful members of the industry who
you happen to be related to so I again I
think also you just develop a thicker
skin very quickly when you join an
industry like this where your report
cards are read by the whole country you
know so I think you quickly understand
that it’s all right it’s okay some
things you will do good at and some
things you won’t do so well at but
fortunes change every Friday and the
idea I think is to keep persevering of
course I mean this is an obvious saying
to keep trying to keep doing what you
love and also not to measure your
success by someone else’s you know your
failure by someone else’s success you
know it’s really about what makes you
happy and often I think we are happy but
we see other people who are appear
happier than us and then we’re no longer
happy I think just be happy and I think
you know seeing those messages of what
other people are doing and how great
they are constantly bombarded with
social media especially it’s very hard
to keep reminding yourself just to be
happy not to compare your failures to
other people’s success speaking of this
media and social media what is your take
on
landscape of social media and
influencers ship all together it’s
interesting because I am on social media
and I love many things about it we use
it it’s a tool for various things and of
course you can also make money off it
because you understand as a public
personality as an actor in this case
there are people who look to you as role
models but again as an actor I’ve always
said that actors should not be your role
models because that’s not really what
drives an actor it’s not responsibility
it’s not about being a responsible
public figure it’s about breaking the
rules and about playing crazy characters
on screen and often I feel that you know
the audience gets confused sometimes
because they see someone that they you
know review or someone that they love
and they’re doing something that they
don’t approve of as a character on
screen or even in person and that upsets
them I think the idea is to use your
common sense again and to see that you
know at the end of the day these are
just people and you know of course there
should be law abiding citizens but
beyond that day but it’s confusing
because then you understand also even
though you shouldn’t be or not
necessarily you don’t opt to be a role
model like I don’t want to be a role
model necessarily but you understand
that a lot of young girls might be
looking at you for direction and are
influenced by you so I think the people
perhaps you know the actors were
slightly more driven by that and more
morally responsible would then would
then change their choices or would then
change the things that they endorsed
whether it’s a message that they endorse
or a product that they endorse to
reflect that and to to respect that but
not everybody does that so I think again
as consumers and as citizens and as
viewers you have to make those choices
for yourself you know there are various
directors who have now been accused of
things and who are facing prison
sentences and you it’s your choice as to
whether you want to continue to see
those films or not you know that’s up to
you whether you can make a distinction
between art and the person and the actor
I mean you personally have had and have
grand ambassadorships with the likes of
paints and jewelry and masalas and BP oh
my god rich oh yeah thank you which ran
out while ago I’m just saying
didn’t discuss it right here if you want
but do you do you consider yourself an
influencer and and feel free to define
influencer on your own terms if you want
I feel now because of social media you
can see you can actually have direct
conversations with people and you can
see that you do make a difference and
you can engage and also you see how
savvy people are they know exactly when
you put something out there that you’re
paid to do and when it means something
and you get you know when you do and I
have been guilty of endorsing things
it’s not that I haven’t used them and
it’s I would certainly not endorse
something that I feel is harmful in some
way but it may be that I happened that
it’s not a complete fit and even if it
is a fit and people know because you’ve
tagged certain corporates that you’re
getting paid for it you can see that
there’s like a barrage of criticism that
you’ll get but you can engage with that
and it so it’s a two-way conversation
and I’ve used that also so I think that
I do consider myself an influencer
because even if I wasn’t an actor I
still feel that I have ideas that I
would like to share with the world and I
feel again the most wonderful thing
about a democratic forum like Twitter
and social media Instagram whatever is
that you can influence people and why
not if you feel that you have an idea
that would make the world a better place
and I feel like I have a few of those so
I do consider myself an influencer
I love engaging which is why people say
oh you know sometimes you get trolled I
also enjoy that because I feel not
everybody thinks the same way and and
thank God they don’t because we don’t
want to live in a country of Crohn’s and
not everybody would be on the same page
as me but that’s okay
that’s the let’s pyramid speech which I
love and as long as it’s not violent as
long as you’re not harming me you know
words of you know it’s fine
so we can engage and I love engaging I
wish I had that kind of mental strength
just to say words or words they still
thing you know I think what’s
interesting today is that branch and
celeb
realize on some level that the the
inauthenticity sometimes from a
celebrity endorsing a brand it looks and
appears to be purely transactional and
as I’ve been working with brands I
notice and start to find that brands
want hyper local niche authentic
influencers / celebrities to endorse
their brands would that be of interest
to you is that something that you would
champion forward to be participating as
an influencer for something niche
hyperlocal that you believe in well I’ve
been asked to do a lot of diaper cream
stuff recently which obviously is now
I’ve become a mother it’s like
everything that’s mother related comes
to me I understand that connect but I
feel that you know it is important to
have a connect of course when you’re
endorsing something and I’ve been asked
to endorse a bunch of things especially
on social media it is certainly
important that there it resonates with
you at least it’s important to me I have
said note many things as well where I
feel that there isn’t a brand connect
because also I feel the people who
follow me on social media do matter at
the end of the day I feel like I have a
certain responsibility also a certain
sense of self image I feel like I would
let him I would let myself down if I
didn’t if I if I endorse something that
I completely didn’t touch her I felt was
you know if I felt that it was something
that didn’t connect with me even you
know if we we do certain magazine shoots
that there was a magazine cover that I
was offered reached recently and then we
found out that the person who owns that
magazine is actually somebody who was
beating his wife on a regular basis so
of course you know when we’re not
associating with that so I think it’s
important to do as you said I mean to
make that connect that of course is I
mean just after reading your book and
and feeling like I got to know you would
you identify yourself as a brand
ambassador or an influencer for
self-love of course for self-love for
acceptance for embracing yourself and I
think we need more of that and I think
that’s what the book has been referred
to the style of the book is
self-deprecating
Jumma right now keep saying it’s not
self-deprecating it’s about self-love
and some of the roadblocks that I came
to in the book especially dealing with
my career where I couldn’t write anymore
and I realized that was because I was
being too hard on myself and I had to
really step away and it’s as if you know
like I wasn’t allowing myself to do that
to myself and it is completely I mean I
am completely a brand ambassador for
self-love and we really need to as I
said stop thinking about how we can be
happier and just be happy so you know as
in your life now the family she’s been
born into into this next generation so
you know obviously from the tagore side
your your royal family heritage now what
siphon are doing what you are doing what
Kunal is doing this poor little girl
there’s so much pressure already and
what what advice would you give her when
she can understand you to help her and
guide her through the world because the
world is going to expect so much of her
tiny little feet yes it’s true and I
think that again life is different now
so I think the idea is also to tailor
your advice to changing times because
social media didn’t exist when I was
young and the media wasn’t interested in
children or the children of actors in
the way that they are today so I think
that I don’t know whether I’ll have an
opportunity to teach her or she’ll be
teaching me because really children
these days are growing up so fast and
she looks like she doesn’t need guidance
at all like I thought that I’m I still
think I’m the boss and it’s obviously
not true because she controls what I eat
when I eat what work I can do and all of
that I want to be involved in her life I
want to be as my mother said you know I
don’t want to be your best friend I
certainly don’t need to know everything
about your life but I would like to
think that you can talk to me about the
things that matters I wanted I wanted to
be constant communication and instead of
telling her things I would like to use
my father’s approach which was just
teach by example nobody wants to be
given a lecture all times I think what’s
more authentic is when you see someone
you see that they don’t raise their
voice that they treat each other with
respect that they believe in recycling
you watch them
and and then you emulate that so I would
just rather live my life and in the way
that I would want to live us lead by
example thank you very much for thank
you thank you for listening to me [Applause]