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Intentional Living: A panacea to the future of teenagers | Chichi Umeseaka | TEDxAbayi


[Music]
I’m so happy to be here let me help out
do the introduction properly I’m Chi Chi
or Misaka chin mm I’m a sucker and then
I’m a very passionate person when it has
to do with teenagers I’m it’s in each
coach but first I love to introduce
myself as a wife committed wife and
mother of four kids and I’m 34 think I’m
heading somewhere don’t I’m not trying
to brag but I’m heading somewhere at 34
forgive me let me use the word God God
has brought me this far you know most
times we like to use the word God to say
you know God is God is this but until
you become intentional about whatever
decision you want to do whatever
decision or whatever thing you want to
do with yourself
if you don’t come to that point where
you are taking responsibility for your
actions nothing actually happens the god
factor definitely is there but someone
has to make something happen
so as I’m at 34 a wife my foremost 13
years October will be 13 years I know
some people we accidentally do marry as
a teenager I might at 21 and then a 30 I
had my four kids and God has been yeah
forgive me I’m gonna use the word very
often God and I’ve gotten to this point
where you know being a TV presenter
using my profession I’m a journalist by
training using my profession to you know
reach out to teenagers communicate to
them because I realize just like the you
know the video we watched this is the
age of information so a lot of our
teenagers are using the information some
I using it rightly someone not you know
it’s using its amp using it and I
decided I was gonna use what I studied
so being it CV presenter a radio
presenter to have my radio show on
especially family goes and
on flavin you know my I know what some
of us know flat fan and everything I do
is with signatures they hosted to show
me and that was just me trying to guide
them using what they love you if you if
you agree with me a lot of our teenagers
they want to be celebrities they want to
be known they want to be heard and for
me it’s just channeling fear energy into
something very positive you know so I am
also let me not forget to mention that
one special advisor said I can stay
governor and then for me it is something
that I find very interesting because I’m
the first this is the first you know of
its kind I believe a lot of people don’t
even understand what it means to handle
teenagers I’m walking from the angle of
you know I’ve been doing this for so
many years
a lot of times people just want to focus
on the youth or the children and they
forget this this you know people at the
center and we are losing them gradually
you know so for the state governor to
say I want someone to focus on this set
of people I think it’s something very
remarkable and I’m not trying to promote
him here but I’m saying they are the
future just like she introduced they are
the future and the future is now if we
don’t take charge of their lives if we
don’t help them to focus on what is it
more important than the social media the
you know the different things they are
doing just like if you see these
streetcar system is something that’s
taking over our society we see a lot of
our primary school I’m not even talking
about second is our primary school kids
they are getting involved into court
system and then for me being part of
government I’m not a politician and I
always say it’s and I’m a catalyst I’m
there to just deliver something that is
very very very key and you know it’s
also it has to do with delivering our
generation the nest leaders of this
great nation or a society you know so
I’ve tried to let the background of what
I do this is part of the things I do as
special advisor I’ve been able to do
talk about sexual assault and this is
something for me is personal because I
mean I don’t want to use a word
victim I’m a survivor of rape sexual
assault and it’s also something that I’m
gonna talk about later I could have
become you know I could have allowed it
to put me down and say okay I may fix
him I’m going to allow this thing to
meet me not live my life fully but I am
stepping on those things to say I can’t
become more I can’t be something more
and I can become something I needed as a
teenager when I was a teenager and I
never had that is what I’m doing for
these teenagers you know so these are
some of the things that we did you know
given our sanitary pads I remember being
a teenager not being able to have enough
you know money to buy to a for some of
these things and we are doing this going
to different places to talk about okay
enough of that okay
just recently two days ago or three days
ago we did I was able to organize town
hall meeting for governor to have an
interface with teenagers and let them
mark them this we have some other things
I really wanted green up as a teenager
we need to meet my governor or the
president and just very key questions
and you know I didn’t get the
opportunity about the glory of God I’m
doing that for the signatures so the
beginning of my journey how did I get
here at the age of 15 I decided to take
my life into my hands I realized
everybody just sees me as a pretty face
and for me I know I’m modern a pretty
face there’s something more I could feel
it inside inside of me right from time
so when I go out and people just keep
calling me Bo all they want to do just
take advantage of me I realized I had to
do something because if I don’t do
something if I get into the University I
was just gonna become a piece of cake so
guys so I decided to take my life into
my hands and I sat down and I started
writing one of the things you would do
for yourself I know I’m not sure I’m
seeing signatures here there are knots
in Eagan sport I also believe there are
lots of our young people I mean the idea
twins is because I work with in lots of
teenagers and young adults in their 20s
they have no clue where they are heading
so we have am I correct am I am I making
sense
did they have no clue where you know
we’re heading to and for me it was one
of the biggest thing I had to do it gets
tense I had to
I just had to sit down and ask myself
who are you how to discover myself I had
to you know ask myself very critical
questions um I’m not just a pretty face
you know there’s more to this God gave
me this face not just for you know I
don’t know why but I had to use it
wisely and I’m trying to encourage
someone here there’s more to your story
there’s more to you you need to sit down
take pen and you know I’m paper that was
what I’d actually did at age 15 I sat
down and I started writing down why am I
here what is the purpose why did God
create me am i a mistake you know so the
moment you get to that point where you
discover yourself and you start acting
critical questions it’s going to help
you to find focus it will help you to
just you know become very purpose-driven
you will stop living emili´s lee I
became very intentional you know it is
one step that’s critical questions is
another thing to say how do I go from
here and for me I just started telling
myself okay I need to be very strategic
strategic about my life I needed to just
do things very carefully because I
believe you know life is about so inside
it’s just like famine what you saw today
you’re going to repeat in three years
from now in five years from 910 years
from now for me it was just been
intentional writing where do I see
myself at that age 15 I said at 17 it’s
in and I would have to get to the
University you know yeah that’s me
setting goes with deadlines I told
myself I was going to you know I was
saying I want to do this what I was
putting deadlines you know putting it
you know dates to them and I said at 17
18 I have to get into the university at
20 I want to be a graduates that sounds
crazy yeah actually you know yeah the
century and see I would graduate and
then get married and then have my four
kids at 25
sounds very crazy 17 are you going to be
having kids every year but that would
that would they wear these sad things I
wrote I said I just want to take my life
into my hands and twin doubts I think
not I think I know was the biggest thing
I did for myself because as I got into
the university I was just very focused
no boyfriends no I’m you know I’m not
here to judge you but you know what for
me
I just had to be very strategic about my
life I had to be very intentional you
know so I don’t know about you I know a
lot of us are in the university but if
you don’t come to that point where you
are adding deeds these timelines to your
goals to the things you want to achieve
trust me you still keep postponing them
you know I’ve lit this foundation I’ve
talked about discovering yourself you
know I’ve talked about planning being
intentional you know taking your life
into your hands how do you do that it’s
not easy trust me especially even with
this generation with this social media
running you guys crazy all of us crazy
because almost all of us we had addicted
to our phones I mean even my husband’s
are realizing that you yeah you are
detects your phone I post you know my
rights and also sometimes I hide behind
I’m posting but we are almost all of us
we are almost addicted you know in the
midst of this social media hype events
of Technology we have all the toys
gadgets and all that how can you be able
to tell yourself I want to be
intentional I want to take my life into
my hands and not allow social media take
more than half of your tea more than I
mean I know a lot of young people that
would spend just scrolling and looking
at other people’s picture and the people
you are looking at the actually making
money the day I realized that one of my
friends tell your babies makes a lot of
money by just posting I just said I’m
done I’m not watching you guys again if
I’m not going to make money I can just
watch you like you a bit and run off but
to spend us watching people that are
making money by posting I was done you
need to become intentional in the midst
of the madness in the midst of so many
distractions you need to come to the
pond where you’re telling yourself I
have to take my life into my hands I
make my life worth living
how do you do that know your why it’s it
also goes back to discovering yourself
accent who are my key questions the
moment I believe you know this is
something I know with this generation
forgive me I’m still gonna be talking
about signatures because they’re the
ones I’m very used to and this
generation is code generation said the
cherries are 30 Altair occurs we are all
very crucible or civil
adults we are very curious which if you
tell someone don’t do this the accent
you why don’t why do you well you have
something not to do that if you know
your wife you know why you wanted to
something or you don’t want to do
something it’s going to help you to
become very intentional number one thing
that knowing your way helps you achieve
this you will know your values this
society is I don’t want to use a wrong
word but we are losing it and if you
don’t set your own values for yourself
trust me you are going to be misled I
mean adults I know if a friend who is a
social drinker he just drinks when there
are so many people he doesn’t drink in
his church they don’t even know he
drinks but because he just wants to feel
belongs you know I mean I’m not that I’m
not talking about a teenager if you
don’t set values for yourself if you
don’t step standards for yourself you
are just going to go with the flow with
the trends with the pop culture with the
styles we have it I mean we are
influenced by so many things on
Instagram on Facebook on snapchat if the
likes of publicity can be you know
influencing a lot of our young people
then you need to need to wake up and
said I mean even adults I see adults
following him and right into the very
things and I’m wondering are you guys
crazy you have to set values for
yourself understand what you believe in
not everybody’s you know this thing
happened forgive me I mention it means
well you know I don’t know your own
value but for me it’s not right I had to
probably post on and I told my daughter
you would treat me right you can’t go
and get pregnant out of well not and
expect me to say well don’t know it’s 15
I wrote down those things and I remember
that it 25 I saw somehow stumbled on
that you know diary and I realized I’ve
exceeded I mean I’ve achieved everything
I wrote on that diary everything and
even more and I had to do more right
more things and me being in politics
today was not part of the plan you know
what when you are in line with your
intention are so many things falling
please even Chara even Jarrah so set
your priorities it just helps you become
very focused I’m very driven
responsibilities a lot of our young
people don’t even realize that we
responsible decisions you take today you
will be at the crutch you bear the
consequences you know I know a lot of my
classmates in school they would say I’m
not passing because my parents are not
giving me money I first did not give him
an I mean I praised their teachers and
they were old for years where you know
for moans and going to school was a
struggle but at that age I took myself I
was going to be very very very
responsible for my decisions for the
actions I take city I drank Irene are so
like crazy
I want a car I started tricking me to
stop bad I just either because I could
only do one meal one probability but I
had to tell myself I was going to be
responsible for the decisions I took at
that time if I say ok my grades are not
giving me enough money let me just go
and start you know following men and
between compromising and doing all
manner of things who works collaborate
across consequences more so I had to
tell myself I will be responsible the
decisions I’m taking today it may be
hard it may be very happy you know what
I would enjoy and that was when I came
up with this you know with this him I
can’t I mean me
I want to know how many minutes do I
have three minutes ok some round enough
and I came up with it with these quotes
for myself I say play now pay later and
if I pay now I will play later
trust me I am ballin lots of my mates
yeah lots of my mates are still hovering
and looking wondering but at that stage
they went busy just compromise him
because they couldn’t you know you sleep
with a lecturer might lecture I refused
to you know sister I must sleep with
them and I said you see these
certificates is intuitive I can just
forget it
actually I’ve never used my certificates
so I’m talking to someone maybe you have
you’re just wondering ok they’re trying
to persuade me to sleep with them you
can find out you may end up not even
using it don’t compromise be responsible
for the decisions you are taking today
trust me you are going to ask for them
in few years from now your season what
are your season you know you should
understand that
under season if you understand that it
helps you to just pack it yourself very
well when it’s time for you to just be
content if I it’s always good to be
content but when it’s time for you to
just managers have managers at the Bible
say there’s time for everything when you
know your season you’ll be able to know
how to handle yourself know your limits
a lot of our young people just go off
because you’re seeing your friends – in
go in this way you just want to go with
them if you do that you’re going to end
up killing yourself you need to know
your limits know the things that works
for you I’ve seen a lot of young people
who into drugs they are struggling to
come out the addicted why they were
pressured into doing that and some of
their friends are we will do them and
see they have stopped I know every girl
she’s 18 gosh she’s smoking at 12
how long could have gotten into that he
has stopped what she saw had to offer
friends they have go did you know buddy
I mean by with it like overdosed and
she’s struggling to stop and it’s just
because she didn’t know her limits she
does you know so her uncle her young
elder brother smoking and she just
joined them as a young person you need
to understand your life is different
from even your twin your life is very
different
the moment you tell yourself I’m going
to be responsible for my decisions that
I’d say today I’m gonna know my limits
and know the things that work for me I
am going to be responsive I’m going to
set my priorities right I am going to
you know I said I will be intentional
about my decisions I will be intentional
about the things I am doing today
trust me the moment you come to the
point where you are intentional you want
to plan yourself and read even what you
see even the things you see even in a
spoken word the things you see you have
to be very intentional about them
because if you say I’m dead trust me use
that time if you say I am wealthy in the
in the midst of luck it will happen I
told you how I was drinking I report I
kept telling myself I’m gonna endure
because I know where I’m heading to so I
want to encourage you whatever you think
you know you may think I’m talking to
teenagers but as young people I want you
to also you can start living intentional
and it will help us you know avoid some
of these social biases that we are
experiencing now thank you
so much [Applause]
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