I was raped by my father when I was
eight and I’m a boy that one line entry
in the data collection sheet of my
research title incidents impact
reporting and awareness of incest in
major Indian cities became the most
painful story I had ever heard that one
line is turning out to be the biggest
chapter of my life
that one-line story made me get up and
hug my own teenaged nephew he was
prancing in the next room with his
father as his beloved football team
Chelsea had scored yet another goal
against his father’s Man United isn’t
this what should be happening in every
house around the world isn’t this
supposed to be the norm
isn’t it our responsibility as adults to
provide safe homes for everyone and
secure childhoods for our children to be
honest
incest had remained purely an academic
exercise for me also till I read their
story
the harsh reality of incest came home
much too quicker when I put myself in
the shoes of that 8-year old boy that it
could have been my own nephew if I could
stand like a wall to protect my nephew
from all ills of the society would you
or I not do that for everyone around us
how can we be so selfish that is when I
decided that no matter what how many
hurdles I faced how many doors are
slammed in my face I would take the
cause of incest beyond academics
even if this effort makes only a little
bit of difference to only the lives of
dozen people around me that effort would
be worth its while because let’s not
forget that in incest it is not just one
person who is affected one is a victim
one is an abuser they are both from the
same family so the whole family is
I urge you today to spend these next few
minutes and probably walk away with a
resolve to take incest out of the closet
of our homes and onto our coffee tables
and probably if possible on to the
dining tables how about another shorter
story which had an even greater impact
on me
last month I walked into a very chic
office providing professional services
where most of the staff has known me
very well for over a decade after the
brief formality of exchanging
pleasantries one voice politely asked me
Susu priests how is your research
progressing about incest encouraged I
started rattling off the facts and
figures from the research analysis which
I had done last most vulnerable age for
anyone to become a victim is 7 to 18
years most abusers fall in the age
bracket of 12 to 30 years all victims
are not females 40% of the respondents
have confirmed to have witnessed and
incidents of incest abuse while 18%
confirmed to have been a victim
themselves now 18% makes almost 1 in
every 5 around us 92% of the victims
have never been able to share their
trauma with anyone at
catching my breasts after a little while
I added one last figure of the
statistics tube respondents from the
research confirmed that their sisters
had actually committed suicide because
of incest abuse at that point of time in
that office full of intelligent smart
professional people this beautiful young
woman out of the sight of the rest of
her colleagues she kind of hid her mouth
like this and just mouthed two words at
me
allow me to make it absolutely clear
right at the onset that incest finds its
victims in all age groups religions
socio-economic background it is all
about someone taking advantage of their
power position status in the family to
exploit the innocence and the ignorance
of the young and the dependence of
others they are all around us
first the perpetrators as well as the
victims today specifically we focus only
on the incidents and impact of incest
abuse
so let us first define what is incest
Gendron awareness Abbas incest is so
poor that 18% of our respondents wrongly
believe that incest is actually legal in
the country another significant 21%
simply don’t have a clue and they are
not to be blamed because we don’t talk
about incest abuse either in our homes
or in our schools or in our social clubs
this is a subject to be not to be
discussed
Oxford University defines incest as
sexual relations between people
classified as too closely related to
marry each other
to attain another level of clarity on
this definition we define incest as
socially prohibited legally
challengeable sexual relationships which
include only close blood relationships
for example parents grandparents
children grandchildren brothers and
sisters half-brothers and half-sisters
nieces and nephews uncles and aunts type
of activities may include but are not
limited to flashing petting touching
caressing kissing molesting and
let’s go through a few recent cases to
understand this phenomena a little
better let’s go beyond definitions when
a teacher sexually assaulted his student
in Chandigarh last year he broke the
trusted and most pious relationship of
the teacher and the truth but this is
not incest because they were not related
by blood what is a clear case of incest
is when a 47 year old son raped his 70
year old widowed mother in vittala last
year without any odor doubt this is
unforgivable in practically every social
culture religion law or country in the
world let’s take a more complicated case
now a 10 year old girl in Chandigarh was
repeatedly raped for months by her own
when it was found that she’s pregnant
the pregnancy could not be terminated so
a case was registered the baby was born
the case was registered against the mama
and the baby was born and the DNA test
was conducted and it turned out that
this was not the mama who was the father
of the child so then the DNA was
conducted on the father and the other
male relatives in the family and they
turned out that the father was yet
another mama
so this ten-year-old girl a doll wearing
pretty frocks and trills and ribbons had
become a victim she was like a
this case is officially being treated as
a case of child sexual abuse under
various sections including actual a
child barely out of her frocks raped by
those entrusted with her safe upbringing
who
seeking forgiveness from all legal
experts present here I demand to know
does this heinous crime of incest not
stand head and shoulders above simply
being treated as a rape or a child
sexuality why are we afraid of using the
word incest why do we hide behind the
label of child sexual abuse or simple
sexual abuse in which the perpetrator
may or may not be known to the victim
but in incest it is clearly a trying
committed by somebody who is related by
blood let’s not confuse incest with
sexual abuse in jail
as a common man you may wonder how
common is incest NSPCC say is that 70%
of all sexual abuse in children is
committed by somebody from within the
family that is how often it happens
around us I ask you how many more should
suffer before we collectively sit
together and decide to take action I am
often snubbed by parents teachers and
even principals and other professionals
unlike as they believe they have done
their duty by showing the children the
videos of good touch and bad touch
now these good touch and bad touch
videos they tell the child that if you
are touched by anyone on the areas which
are covered by your swimsuit or on your
mouths you are supposed to go out and
tell your five trusted friends and these
five trusted friends are generally
father mother grandfather grandmother
area teacher
but nobody tells the child what to do if
the bad touch arises from peace by
trusted friends what do we where does a
child go at that point of time this is
where this concept fails quite miserably
because incest abuse is an insider’s job
and we don’t tell the child what happens
when the trouble is from inside and we
want to the impact of incest victims my
endeavours to end incest are motivated
by the plight of the victims that came
to the fore during the course of my
research because statistics for me
represent real people they are not
numbers in such victims suffer tenly
suffer enormously often alone and
insights shock guilt self-blame karmic
account shame embarrassment soon turn
when you’ll be open our eyes to the
impact of incest tractors true love
impact the trauma of incest impacts male
and female
women are still able to confide but may
not contend for life as well of the risk
of being not mature enough to manage to
be abusive when an appeal to participate
in our research was published on an FB
page many we use the oaths are
generously claiming it doesn’t happen in
our culture interestingly over night I
received 90 responses after page 72
percent confirmed to have been either a
victim or a witness of incest reviews
a speaker beat amendment I’m sure some
of you must be thinking if it is that
allow me why is it not reported I also
say why
family reputation what else who would
marry our children with the world got
hurt when asked how they responded when
someone confided incest in them thirty
my percent of the respondents said they
simply didn’t know what to say
thirty-three percent went to embarrassed
would be asked for to change only if I
given the above results could you blame
the victims for bearing the suffering
without sharing with anyone
district 1 girls have will be graded by
uncle for years because she believed
being raped herself will protect her
younger sister she which eventually
positi of nine does not permit me to
analyze the cosine
of the sensual inset but we must be
despite the extent and gravity of incest
the rain laws in India still do not
clearly
exist hence authorities are compelled to
use a combination of legal provisions to
register the case under sections labeled
rape attempt to sexually exploited or
unnatural offences progress has been
made but is no force force to our
children’s Act 2003 near bears case has
led to a much stricter punctuality 2012
considered a leader trying for sword it
has it however they have been a few
progressive judgments in 2010 a father
was sent to life imprisonment in Delhi
however earlier last last year reported
judge Stillman single sent a father to
she also sends a suggestion
punishable separately under the ice IPC
with more severe punishments then
awarded for gesture let me take you back
to the story of that ten year old girl
who was violated by her maternal uncle
the mother went to the police station
against her brother only when she was
told that the pregnancy is beyond safe
determination time she caught a case
registered only because the shape
either be hidden or aborted a few days
ago a father shot his 16 year old son
because he not just sexually assaulted
the minor cousin but the great news is
we are either killing each other or we
that’s ridiculous would you let me
appeal to you to be the catalyst for
change today
announcer alone icon too much but
together
perhaps we could create a multiple
support system in every city of
we have successfully done
come forward
even if it is lip service I request you
and acknowledged between our society
can we not create public awareness
leading to social action demanding
and in such victim mode to be once I
truly believe that while it is essential
to make windows and crack policies we
also need
recycling because maybe the abusers
remember we helped say what victims we
we held one predator or abused we are saving five
eight and I’m a boy that one line entry
in the data collection sheet of my
research title incidents impact
reporting and awareness of incest in
major Indian cities became the most
painful story I had ever heard that one
line is turning out to be the biggest
chapter of my life
that one-line story made me get up and
hug my own teenaged nephew he was
prancing in the next room with his
father as his beloved football team
Chelsea had scored yet another goal
against his father’s Man United isn’t
this what should be happening in every
house around the world isn’t this
supposed to be the norm
isn’t it our responsibility as adults to
provide safe homes for everyone and
secure childhoods for our children to be
honest
incest had remained purely an academic
exercise for me also till I read their
story
the harsh reality of incest came home
much too quicker when I put myself in
the shoes of that 8-year old boy that it
could have been my own nephew if I could
stand like a wall to protect my nephew
from all ills of the society would you
or I not do that for everyone around us
how can we be so selfish that is when I
decided that no matter what how many
hurdles I faced how many doors are
slammed in my face I would take the
cause of incest beyond academics
even if this effort makes only a little
bit of difference to only the lives of
dozen people around me that effort would
be worth its while because let’s not
forget that in incest it is not just one
person who is affected one is a victim
one is an abuser they are both from the
same family so the whole family is
I urge you today to spend these next few
minutes and probably walk away with a
resolve to take incest out of the closet
of our homes and onto our coffee tables
and probably if possible on to the
dining tables how about another shorter
story which had an even greater impact
on me
last month I walked into a very chic
office providing professional services
where most of the staff has known me
very well for over a decade after the
brief formality of exchanging
pleasantries one voice politely asked me
Susu priests how is your research
progressing about incest encouraged I
started rattling off the facts and
figures from the research analysis which
I had done last most vulnerable age for
anyone to become a victim is 7 to 18
years most abusers fall in the age
bracket of 12 to 30 years all victims
are not females 40% of the respondents
have confirmed to have witnessed and
incidents of incest abuse while 18%
confirmed to have been a victim
themselves now 18% makes almost 1 in
every 5 around us 92% of the victims
have never been able to share their
trauma with anyone at
catching my breasts after a little while
I added one last figure of the
statistics tube respondents from the
research confirmed that their sisters
had actually committed suicide because
of incest abuse at that point of time in
that office full of intelligent smart
professional people this beautiful young
woman out of the sight of the rest of
her colleagues she kind of hid her mouth
like this and just mouthed two words at
me
allow me to make it absolutely clear
right at the onset that incest finds its
victims in all age groups religions
socio-economic background it is all
about someone taking advantage of their
power position status in the family to
exploit the innocence and the ignorance
of the young and the dependence of
others they are all around us
first the perpetrators as well as the
victims today specifically we focus only
on the incidents and impact of incest
abuse
so let us first define what is incest
Gendron awareness Abbas incest is so
poor that 18% of our respondents wrongly
believe that incest is actually legal in
the country another significant 21%
simply don’t have a clue and they are
not to be blamed because we don’t talk
about incest abuse either in our homes
or in our schools or in our social clubs
this is a subject to be not to be
discussed
Oxford University defines incest as
sexual relations between people
classified as too closely related to
marry each other
to attain another level of clarity on
this definition we define incest as
socially prohibited legally
challengeable sexual relationships which
include only close blood relationships
for example parents grandparents
children grandchildren brothers and
sisters half-brothers and half-sisters
nieces and nephews uncles and aunts type
of activities may include but are not
limited to flashing petting touching
caressing kissing molesting and
let’s go through a few recent cases to
understand this phenomena a little
better let’s go beyond definitions when
a teacher sexually assaulted his student
in Chandigarh last year he broke the
trusted and most pious relationship of
the teacher and the truth but this is
not incest because they were not related
by blood what is a clear case of incest
is when a 47 year old son raped his 70
year old widowed mother in vittala last
year without any odor doubt this is
unforgivable in practically every social
culture religion law or country in the
world let’s take a more complicated case
now a 10 year old girl in Chandigarh was
repeatedly raped for months by her own
when it was found that she’s pregnant
the pregnancy could not be terminated so
a case was registered the baby was born
the case was registered against the mama
and the baby was born and the DNA test
was conducted and it turned out that
this was not the mama who was the father
of the child so then the DNA was
conducted on the father and the other
male relatives in the family and they
turned out that the father was yet
another mama
so this ten-year-old girl a doll wearing
pretty frocks and trills and ribbons had
become a victim she was like a
this case is officially being treated as
a case of child sexual abuse under
various sections including actual a
child barely out of her frocks raped by
those entrusted with her safe upbringing
who
seeking forgiveness from all legal
experts present here I demand to know
does this heinous crime of incest not
stand head and shoulders above simply
being treated as a rape or a child
sexuality why are we afraid of using the
word incest why do we hide behind the
label of child sexual abuse or simple
sexual abuse in which the perpetrator
may or may not be known to the victim
but in incest it is clearly a trying
committed by somebody who is related by
blood let’s not confuse incest with
sexual abuse in jail
as a common man you may wonder how
common is incest NSPCC say is that 70%
of all sexual abuse in children is
committed by somebody from within the
family that is how often it happens
around us I ask you how many more should
suffer before we collectively sit
together and decide to take action I am
often snubbed by parents teachers and
even principals and other professionals
unlike as they believe they have done
their duty by showing the children the
videos of good touch and bad touch
now these good touch and bad touch
videos they tell the child that if you
are touched by anyone on the areas which
are covered by your swimsuit or on your
mouths you are supposed to go out and
tell your five trusted friends and these
five trusted friends are generally
father mother grandfather grandmother
area teacher
but nobody tells the child what to do if
the bad touch arises from peace by
trusted friends what do we where does a
child go at that point of time this is
where this concept fails quite miserably
because incest abuse is an insider’s job
and we don’t tell the child what happens
when the trouble is from inside and we
want to the impact of incest victims my
endeavours to end incest are motivated
by the plight of the victims that came
to the fore during the course of my
research because statistics for me
represent real people they are not
numbers in such victims suffer tenly
suffer enormously often alone and
insights shock guilt self-blame karmic
account shame embarrassment soon turn
when you’ll be open our eyes to the
impact of incest tractors true love
impact the trauma of incest impacts male
and female
women are still able to confide but may
not contend for life as well of the risk
of being not mature enough to manage to
be abusive when an appeal to participate
in our research was published on an FB
page many we use the oaths are
generously claiming it doesn’t happen in
our culture interestingly over night I
received 90 responses after page 72
percent confirmed to have been either a
victim or a witness of incest reviews
a speaker beat amendment I’m sure some
of you must be thinking if it is that
allow me why is it not reported I also
say why
family reputation what else who would
marry our children with the world got
hurt when asked how they responded when
someone confided incest in them thirty
my percent of the respondents said they
simply didn’t know what to say
thirty-three percent went to embarrassed
would be asked for to change only if I
given the above results could you blame
the victims for bearing the suffering
without sharing with anyone
district 1 girls have will be graded by
uncle for years because she believed
being raped herself will protect her
younger sister she which eventually
positi of nine does not permit me to
analyze the cosine
of the sensual inset but we must be
despite the extent and gravity of incest
the rain laws in India still do not
clearly
exist hence authorities are compelled to
use a combination of legal provisions to
register the case under sections labeled
rape attempt to sexually exploited or
unnatural offences progress has been
made but is no force force to our
children’s Act 2003 near bears case has
led to a much stricter punctuality 2012
considered a leader trying for sword it
has it however they have been a few
progressive judgments in 2010 a father
was sent to life imprisonment in Delhi
however earlier last last year reported
judge Stillman single sent a father to
she also sends a suggestion
punishable separately under the ice IPC
with more severe punishments then
awarded for gesture let me take you back
to the story of that ten year old girl
who was violated by her maternal uncle
the mother went to the police station
against her brother only when she was
told that the pregnancy is beyond safe
determination time she caught a case
registered only because the shape
either be hidden or aborted a few days
ago a father shot his 16 year old son
because he not just sexually assaulted
the minor cousin but the great news is
we are either killing each other or we
that’s ridiculous would you let me
appeal to you to be the catalyst for
change today
announcer alone icon too much but
together
perhaps we could create a multiple
support system in every city of
we have successfully done
come forward
even if it is lip service I request you
and acknowledged between our society
can we not create public awareness
leading to social action demanding
and in such victim mode to be once I
truly believe that while it is essential
to make windows and crack policies we
also need
recycling because maybe the abusers
remember we helped say what victims we
we held one predator or abused we are saving five
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