I have spent over twenty five years let
me rephrase that I’ve invested 25 years
of my life in the asking the same
question again again again it’s probably
the same question most of you guys have
asked yourself why is it some people
make it and somebody don’t what is the
threat how do we get from where we are
to learn we want to be why do we get
stuck in urbana situations just like how
did I arrive here we arrive at the sum
total of the decisions we make and
that’s unfortunate but that’s usually
how it goes now there are those
situations to happen in life when things
happen to us that we are a victim and I
don’t want to make light of that because
those are very serious conditions but
for most of us what happens life is we
arrive exactly we’re supposed to you and
so I believe that one of the things
we’ve got to have break through life but
we have got to come to the place where
we were born to invade the impossible if
you look at us as a species been
constantly been doing this we’ve been
attacking this world for years and years
I don’t care if it’s from the flat world
concept and someone looking out going
this can’t be it can’t be a big
waterfall out there can’t be a beach on
the other side of the ocean and it’s
just flat just gotta be something
different and not only to determine that
it wasn’t flat but then we had to go see
every bit of it and then we found the
other side we had to get on land and we
had to cross it and tangle it and on and
on and on I was at a u2 concert in
Sweden a year or so ago and I hear Bono
talk about the potential of the first
hiv-free generation being born in Africa
I can remember in the era when that was
such a pandemic such a problem that it
seemed like as though it might wipe out
that entire continent and now we’re
talking about babies being be born
without this virus being passed by their
parents Mandela said everything is
impossible until somebody proves it not
so and so I guess the question we have
to grind on is where’s our world flat
and why do we insist on convincing
everybody that is flat why don’t we get
stuck why do we regrind on the subject
again
again and again and gets stuck it’s like
for some reason we have to give Vince
every run around us that we’re a victim
and the world is flat our problem is
real and we can’t do thing about it and
you know what we’re arguing to lose and
I don’t really understand that but I get
it because it’s scary to dream it’s
scary to get your hopes up it’s scary to
confess that you’re going to do great
things because everybody’s around you
seems to really enjoy clapping at your
failure it seems as though one of the
most difficult things in the world to
ever do is to forgive yourself am i
right we live in this world of shame
where guilt has manifested in such a way
that we go from doing something bad to
thinking that we are something bad and
that is such a travesty because it’s
just not true but here’s the problem
with shame you get two issues one if
you’ve been in that situation I have in
my life it was the crash between what I
knew was right and what I did and we
argue about how could I possibly make
that choice how could I possibly go down
that road well I know this and I do this
that’s the travesty isn’t it but the
awakening is on the other side of when
you realize that wasn’t me that was a
series of bad decisions and I’m not a
bad decision and I’ve gotta find a way
to break freedom that the other problem
was shame is it seems as though a lot of
people around us don’t want to see us
get over it it seems as though there’s a
lot of people that feel it’s their duty
to punish the shame I saw a little video
their day of high school class that was
doing one of these protests when they
lay on the grass and and they have 17
minutes of silence of doing nothing and
this young girl with the tremendous
amount of courage got up there and said
I know the reason most of you are here
is because you better lay on the grass
but let’s be honest what do we really
need to do is we take this 17 minutes
and go love on that person your bullying
what you need to do is go say sorry to
the person you’ve heard what you need to
go say is I forgive you for what to
happen here what we need to do is learn
to reconnect and find that love that’s
been broken down because if you look at
what most people do when they’re hurting
is they hurt others and that seems to be
a problem we all know that hurting
people hurt people so how do we fix this
problem of shame and condemnation
it’s how about a little bit of love how
about less segmentation how about less
judgement how about less putting people
less people putting people in a box that
this person or that person well I drew
them but I don’t grease them why can’t
we say it’s okay to be different and I
say we can we’re all going to go through
these five stages of life most people
think there’s three was there five we go
from survival disability to success and
most people stop right there
and some reason they stopped is because
they never knew there were two more
levels of life and I want to open up
your mind to it I’m sure most of you
already know about this but I’m finished
a few missed digging in then we’ll learn
survival mode and that could be as a
child as a teenager or for me as a 48
year old man having a heart attack or
just after going through a shameful
divorce and realizing I may have just
messed up my kids for life and wondering
what am I gonna do now
do I just just fold it in just that’s it
well the doctor says a third of your
heart is unrepairable and you’re never
gonna be an active adult you’ll live but
at what level what do you do well here’s
what you’re gonna do when you’re in
survival mode you’ve got to go to work
on you I don’t think he’s a person here
doesn’t know that but are we doing it
are you reading every single day are you
listening to an audio every single day
John Maxwell says you should ever learn
you lunch every single month sit down
with someone
that you admire that you love that you
respect and let them pour into you and
ask them some questions to find out what
you need to do to change your life get
some perspective but go to work on you
and if I were to say that I’m proud of a
few things in my life
without sounding arrogant I would say
I’m proud of the fact that I have
managed my time to listen and study
every single day for at least 30 years
and I believe the only reason they’ve
been able to overcome some embarrassment
some shame and some failure and create
some dynamic successes because I’ve been
willing to go inside and look at those
issues and get right with me
I believe our income in life our impact
in life is based upon our ability to
impact other people’s lives we have to
be able to add value and that’s a bit
difficult to add value when we don’t
feel valuable we can’t add value without
value now maybe you could maybe we could
argue that splitting a few hairs but I
would like to challenge you to increase
your value your equity your personal
asset by going to work on you and begin
to have conversation yourself about that
you’re good you’re worthy you’re able
your cable you’re willing that all
things are possible you don’t have to
stay in survival mode and I believe if
you want to go from survival to
stability here’s the key you need to
surround yourself so with some people
they’re gonna challenge you and they’re
gonna love you you got to get a crew you
got to get a posse they say that when
Buffalo are facing great storms just
come this way three four five six
whatever they just pile in and they nose
in and they let it come right at them
but together no one can conquer them you
talk about soldiers when they’re in
combat they go back-to-back don’t they
because you got my six do you have
someone in your life that has your six
do you have someone that’s got your back
and you got theirs can they count on you
and do you count on them are you still
trying to play solo they say that if a
lion and a tiger fight the tiger always
wins
but if five lions fight five Tigers the
Lions always win
why because the liens form a pride and
the Tigers have pride the Tigers are
independent and the Lions come together
as a pack and together we can accomplish
so much more but that’s being vulnerable
isn’t it that’s being willing to sit
down and have that radical transparency
saying this is what’s going on inside of
me this is where it hurts this is where
I failed this is where I’ve let myself
down and I want to get back up I don’t
want to walk forwards looking backwards
tripping over my future I want to make
some adjustments will you help me when’s
the last time you honestly said will you
help me we get stuck in this world so
stability happens when we begin to form
a group around us alone were weak
they’re strong and when they’re weak
were strong and we get a bond together
we started doing something and then at
that point you can begin to reach out
you move into that level of success the
level of success is when you start
feeling like that something’s happening
here I got some money I got house good
car I’m gonna tell you this much this
might be the most disappointing season
of your life and yet for most people it
seems to be their ultimate goal what can
I have what can I get what can I show
whoa look at me all of me loves all of
me and it’s devastating because it’s
lonely because the only way you get
through success is you got to move
towards a fourth level and that is
significance you’ve got to get to a
point in your life where it’s not about
you it’s about the people around you
it’s learning how to play for that
brother that a brother was born for the
moment of adversity and all too often
sadly enough adversity the brothers
alone his people running high because I
don’t want to associate with the lepor
because they might think I’m the same
way what they might think is you’re a
freakin hero picture coming next that
broken man and that broken woman and
loving on him and healing him and
picking them back up to help somebody
else you want to be a hero those are
broken
and love on them and encourage them to
be strong again because there’s no way
we fix any of our problems from a
position of weakness there’s no way we
go out and make an impact in the world
from a position of failure and I’m not
worthy and I can’t so why is the world
so interested in beating down the
failure why why is that such a big thing
I think maybe it makes us feel big and
strong because we put someone else down
but in reality you’re not stronger
because you made someone smaller you’re
stronger because you lifted somebody
else if you’re in a position of
authority or a position of impact then
reach down and grab them and pull them
and be part of that healing power in
their life because that’s what we need
because who makes the best alcoholic
anonymous counselors recovered alcoholic
alcoholic what I do know you gotta be in
recovery right you help stable through
physical abuse who helps people through
any type of depression who helps people
overcome physical ailments people have
been there and done that you don’t know
the pain the man sold to you about 2,000
miles in their shoes and sometimes we’re
gonna put the shoes on and recognize man
I’m sorry I love you and I believe in
you and I believe in these things have
happened they’re not you they don’t
define you stop arguing with the truth
of the greatness and the calling your
life you’ve gone through things for the
reason a promotion not demotion you’re
going through things so you can be the
powerful and power so you can be that
one it says I feel you I’ve been there
I’ve done that I’m good and now here I
am when someone knows you’ve been
through it what are they gonna say well
how’d you do it how’d you overcome it
see the purpose of significance guys the
reason this is so important is if we get
locked in or what we can have then
that’s what the world comes back at us
with it’s like the story of the
gentleman that moves in a new town and
he says hey um what are people like here
the guy says back Tim says well let me
you question what will people like where
you came from you know I found them like
this and this thing because I think
you’ll probably find about the same way
cousin that kind of how it goes
call it cause and effect call it sowing
and reaping call you love universal
attraction the fact that matter is is
what you sow you’re gonna get and what
you expect to see when you change the
way you see the things you see change
and this is a radically important thing
I don’t want your successes to go to
your head and they don’t want your
failures to go to your heart this is
such an important thing folks because
nobody is getting through this program
without a few mistakes and if you do
boring no one’s gonna read your book no
one wants to hear your story because you
just got whoa
no in fact almost anybody’s got to go
ends up being a disaster because they
didn’t grow the root they just got the
fruit and then BAM it breaks because
we’re not ready they can’t handle it we
all want the the oak tree but we’ll be
yet the Acorn because we got to grow and
develop it that’s what creates calm
passion come with passion to suffer to
suffer with to love on them anyways so
you can move from significance to the
final stage and that’s a life of
surrender that’s when that peace comes
over you that’s when you know the answer
to Mark Twain’s question right to the
best days you got day you’re born a fake
day figure out why you were born you
know why you were put here that a
brother was born for the moment of
adversity when you go through your when
the fit hits the Sham and things don’t
go so well you know you know that
somewhere in your future is the
promotion is the opportunity to walk for
someone through this exact same season
this is why folks I’m begging you to
make a commitment to being a healing
force in this world
to be part of grace to be part of
acceptance recognizing that we can have
our convictions
without being a jerk about it we can
have our belief system and still love a
brother that thinks something very very
different and be perfectly okay with
that you don’t have to agree with me to
know my heart and I have to agree with
you to know your heart I can’t imagine
what your stories are like I can’t
imagine what you’ve been through I hear
I hope you’ll say well I kind of know
how you feel you don’t know how I feel
you ever said that before
I never heard someone say hey I know
you’re feeling like shut up you don’t
know until you’ve walked in my shoes and
then someone says well I kind of do no
because oh sorry my bad
it happens a lot so I’m asking for you
to set a path who are you how do you
want to live what kind of an impact do
you want to make with your life at the
end of the day when we gather we won’t
talk about your birth we won’t talk
about your death we will talk about your
life we won’t talk about your home we’ll
talk about the housing programs you
build we will talk about how well you
dressed we will talk about how many
people you clothe we won’t talk about
how well you a what type of the feeding
program pact of your life we’re not
gonna gather and discuss these personal
triumphs we’re gonna talk about the
impact of your triumphs and I challenge
you to dig deep enough to look past what
you’re trying to accomplish and wrap
your life around serving others and
impacting their life everyone matters
there’s a story of a man came home from
Vietnam very depressed battled it for
years decide he couldn’t battle any
longer
close the store eyes the gun normal of
zhh me everybody hates me
you finish it I’m gonna eat some worms
he’s depressed goes in his bedroom
takes that gun any here’s daddy where
are you
need you everybody needs everybody
you’re not alone you’re not forgotten we
have to dig in folks if we’re gonna make
this world a better place and it is
every one of our responsibilities to do
our part with those in our personal
circle begging you join me on this
mission to make the world a better place
as you care for those
[Music]
[Applause] [Music]