so I had a book come out in 2013 and a
week before it came out a friend of mine
an author friend called me up and he
said hey tourney’s like you know just so
you know once you write a book you
automatically become an expert and and I
said wolf or what he’s like whatever
subject matter you wrote on and I was
like so I’m an expert in cocaine hookers
and insider trading and he’s like yeah
pretty much so I’m like going to the
computer saying how do you unpublish a
book and it’s terrified thankfully I’ve
learned a lot about myself since then I
grew up in a small town in Maine a house
heated by a wood stove very very simple
life and and growing up I had the
typical high jinks like drunk driving on
a moped when I was 15 accidentally
peeing on my prom date that was not a
good night a couple of college drunken
arrests but I always managed to either
talk my way out of it or bounce back and
it never seemed to be a problem and so
once I graduated from college I went and
moved back to my parents house for six
months and I was on the couch and I was
saying every single day if I could just
get a job then my life would start and
so I eventually packed up the u-haul it
had a giant Lobster on it said America
moves from Maine I’m wearing LL Bean
boots j.crew jacket and baseball hat and
I’m like let’s do this so I knew I moved
to New York City and the job search does
not improve I cannot get a job so my mom
suggests that I call my uncle the only
thing I knew about my uncle was that he
worked on Wall Street he was between his
second and third wife he went on great
vacations and I figured he might know
someone of influence in PR or magazine
or newspaper so I didn’t prepare what I
was gonna say and I call him off and
between all of my um Zod’s and dead
silence I did manage to to convey that I
needed help finding a job and he says
I’ll call you back in ten minutes
so he calls me back and he’s like got
ten interviews this week I was like for
what he’s like I’ll just say you want to
get into sales I was like okay
so two days later I’m standing in front
of seven World Trade Center in my
Filene’s basement
unti lured suits a stack of resumes and
I’m marching the Lehman Brothers and
walking out onto the trading floor was
was like stepping onto a casino for the
very first time it was the utter
grandness of it all I was just in awe I
did not know what they were doing
but I said I want in and so I went on my
interviews and I eventually got a job at
a place called Morgan Stanley and you
know as a B student from Ohio University
with a journalism degree a 970 SAT I
wasn’t really a candidate for Wall
Street success or even a candidate for
Wall Street Medoc mediocrity so I really
struggled early on and you know my
starting salary was $22,000 a year and I
remember saying to my roommates and
friends when I didn’t even have enough
money for a token to the subway if I
could just make $50,000 a year then all
of my problems would go away and so
during the day I’m sitting next to a guy
from Harvard a woman from Duke and I
have no chance of standing out of my job
I can’t move the needle but what I
figured out was that at happy hour I
could crush the guy from Harvard and I
could crush the woman from Duke they did
not stand a chance and so when the
office lights went out and the city
lights came on that was my time to shine
and that’s how I sort of progressed my
career there were two things that would
happen if you went out with me in my 20s
one at the end of the night you would
say that dude scares me or two you would
say I want to party with him again but
the result was always the same you
remembered my name you remembered that
night and so I was able to kind of
network and move my way up but five
years later I’m still a Morgan Stanley
and I am still an assistant and I’m
saying to myself if I could just be a
traitor
then I would have a career and through
some luck perseverance and my happy-hour
skills I eventually got a job at a hedge
fund called the Galilean group and now
I’m a trader I’m at the bottom of the
totem pole
I don’t know what I’m doing and very
early on in my career I was I was at the
trading to ask by myself nobody was in
the office and the phone rings and I
pick it up and I say galley on and the
guy on the other end of the phone is
whispering he’s like saying something I
was like galley on he goes Jeffries is
gonna upgrade Amazon at 6 minutes click
and so I’m sitting there and I was like
oh my god what what do I do and so I’m
saying to myself okay well if I don’t
buy the stock and it goes up this guy
mr. whispers gonna call my boss looking
for like a high-five or a pat on the
back I’m like but if I buy the stock and
it goes up like isn’t that illegal so
I’m sitting there and I’m looking at my
screen and I don’t know what I should do
so with like a minute laughs I decide
I’m gonna buy a hundred thousand shares
so I buy a hundred thousand shares of
Amazon and exactly at six minutes from
when mr. whisper called my phone rings
and it’s the jeffries light and I pick
it up and he says hey we’re upgrading
Amazon I was like I know and so I hang
up and I’m watching the stock it goes
straight up literally five points in a
minute and I make five hundred thousand
dollars in a minute and I’m saying to
myself if I get this call every day I
won’t be a great traitor and so that’s
not on the moment when I started making
decisions based on consequence not right
and wrong and the things that my parents
taught me growing up and so I started to
progressed in my career and I was out
all the time and and this one night a
broker who covers me is standing next to
me and he’s kind of like hitting my hand
and like he’s playing one potato two
potato and so I opened my hand and he
drops this giant bag of white powder
into my hand so I’m like oh my god oh my
god
so I put in my pocket I don’t know what
to do so I’m just sitting there and
eventually he’s like dude you’re gonna
hit that or what I was like oh yeah yeah
so I go into the bathroom and I take it
out I’m pretty sure it’s cocaine and I’m
like dude do I do the whole thing or
like should I pour in the toilet I I
didn’t know you know as a child of the
80s my only reference to cocaine was in
1985 Len Bias who was drafted by the
Boston Celtics he did cocaine
and he died so in my mind you do cocaine
and you die and so I like kind of like
touched it and put it in my mouth and I
was like put it back in and and I wasn’t
sure what he was gonna do so I go back
out to the bar I’m hanging out and
eventually he’s like dude you got my bag
what I was like oh yeah and so I I
handed it off and so um you know my
relationship with cocaine actually
you know changed dramatically six months
from then everything had changed I
started a new hedge fund billion-dollar
hedge fund called Argus my address
changed my bank account changed the
people I was running around with a
change everything changed so when I was
offered it again you know it didn’t look
so menacing and so I go to the bathroom
and this time I take the key out and I’m
like and do do a couple of bumps and I
was like oh my god this is the greatest
feeling I have ever felt my entire life
It was as if I’d been sleeping for 20
years and it finally woke up and between
the bathroom and going back to the bar I
had this conversation with myself and I
was like this is too good like it’s
going to eventually be a problem because
I feel too good and I loved cocaine like
Leonardo DiCaprio loved rosed in the
Titanic so the next time you’re in the
car and you know Celine Dion comes on
don’t think of the movie think of me and
cocaine like that’s how I felt about
cocaine and you know my addiction goes
much deeper than drugs and alcohol and
I’m gonna give you two quick anecdotes
so on my 34th birthday party I hired a
band called Naughty by Nature to perform
and it’s like 500 people it was out of
control and at the end of the night
these guys that I had flown in from Ohio
that I went to college with came over to
me and they were like Turney they’re
like who are you it’s like what like who
are you and I was like I don’t know
you’re saying and I like we’ve been in
the corner all night talking to random
people and they’re like we you know
tournee
oh my god can you introduce me the
attorney or can you just point you know
turning out and that that feeling of
being adored was just it was better than
crack cocaine and and I wanted to feel
like that over and over and over again
and fast forward a few months I’m on my
couch in my 2700 square foot apartment
and try back home and it’s before online
banking and so I’m I call up the 1-800
chase number and I punch in my account
number and the automated voice goes your
balance is 1,800,000 repeat your balance
is 1,800,000 repeat and I just kept
hitting repeat because the money was
making me feel better in the moment and
there are two themes in my life okay the
first one is I just want to be happy
like I don’t think that’s a tall order I
just want to be happy and I probably
said those words more than any other in
my entire life and the other is if then
if I get X then I’ll feel Y you know if
I get a job that my life can start if I
can make $50,000 a year then all of my
problems would go away if I can get that
promotion then I’ll have a career if I
can get that girl then I’ll be happy
when I made two million dollars I was
saying if I could just make three
million dollars then I will finally be
happy and you know by 2004 I’ve gotten
every single if I had ever put in front
of him you know I got the girl I got the
house I got the apartment I got the bank
account I literally had gotten every
single F and I still was not happy and
so in 2005 I find out that my girlfriend
is pregnant and I say oh my god this is
this is great
I’ve always wanted to be a father this
will stop me from running around the
city like a madman and and I can finally
be you know normal again and by the
second trimester I was back out you know
just running around the city so my
daughter was born in October of 2005 and
so now I was like okay this this is the
moment you know I’m a father like
there’s no way I’m gonna you know kind
of do those things and three days after
she was born I was out of the hospital I
was
this Wall Street cracked and called the
White House and I’m doing cocaine
bragging about how magical it was to be
in the delivery room and you know it was
it was really sort of sort of sad and so
a year later it is October of 2006 and
I’m on the corner of 54th Street and
Park Avenue it’s about 5:00 a.m. still
dark out and I’m doing laps around the
block
I’m chained smoking cigarettes and I’m
trying to figure out how I’m gonna get
out of work I’d called in sick so many
times that if I did it again I was gonna
be fired you know I told them I had SARS
virus West Nile virus you know bird flu
I mean you name it I had it and if I
showed up for work in the state that I
was in I was gonna be fired and so I
decided I’d been mugged
they wouldn’t expect me to work and so
there was this puddle had formed from
the night before and I walk up to it and
I try to kind of throw my body into this
puddle and I don’t know if any of you
have ever tried to fall it’s extremely
difficult so I get up and I do it again
and like I’m slamming my body into the
pavement I get up I’m soaking wet my
pants are ripped and I’m bleeding and
I’m bruised and I limped in into this
hedge fund that I had started people are
terrified and I just go up to the
training tasks I’m like I was mugged and
I turn around and and I walk out and
needless to say 48 hours I was on a
plane to my first drug and alcohol rehab
and my transition back was pretty
seamless um you know my daughter was one
years old so she was happy to have me
back the dogs were excited because I’m
the only one who gives them human food
my girlfriend not so much but she took
me back and Wall Street was like come on
back and so I managed to make it about a
year um and I got this brilliant idea so
I know I’m an addict an alcoholic so I
can’t have one drink I can’t have one
line of cocaine why not one relapse so I
planned this big huge night got a hotel
call my girlfriend said yeah I’m gonna
stay in the city tonight
and I’ll see you tomorrow click and it
was like a one-man bachelor party for 12
hours and you know at the at the end of
that night I’m walking to work and I’m
saying to myself I can do that once a
quarter and then the next day I’m like
can do it once a month right and two
weeks later I’m back in a hotel room and
the wheels just started to come off and
so I ended up back and drug and alcohol
rehab and this time the head of the
rehab told me to decide and he said turn
egos I have a full relapse prevention
program for you I was like give it to me
he said all right this is what you got
to do write a list of seven things that
you have to do in order to pick up again
he’s like number one you know call a
family member to call a sponsor three go
to a meeting for knit a sweater 5 run 5
miles whatever
and I’m looking at this guy and I’m like
if I want to pick up I’m just gonna do
it and he kind of just shrugged his
shoulders and in that moment I realize I
can’t even keep a pact with myself so if
I can’t trust myself who can trust me
and and that’s when I really started to
get honest so I managed to stay sober I
stayed away from Wall Street and 2011
I’m in my apartment and getting along
great with my ex I’m talking and seeing
my daughter every single day all of my
amends went flawlessly and I just got a
big book deal from Random House and I
still wasn’t happy and I was like
something is wrong with me
like if I’m not happy now I’m never
going to be happy and so when to the
computer and I googled the pursuit of
happiness because I wanted to know what
it meant in 1776 when they wrote the
Declaration of Independence and what I
learned was happiness meant honor
integrity how you live your life and so
I decided okay I don’t I don’t even want
to be happy I’m just gonna go for
serenity and ironically since that day
I’ve become more happy and and it’s been
life-changing and so fast forward a year
my books about to come out and there is
some buzz that it might make the New
York Times bestseller less so I’m
sitting there in front of my computer
I’m like oh my god oh my god I’m like if
I if I become a New York Times best
seller then I’ll have this new career
then I’ll finally be happy and then
everything will be perfect
and sure enough you know I made the list
I became a New York Times best seller
the next day I woke up and I was like
nothing has changed being a New York
Times best seller doesn’t make me a
better father it doesn’t make me a
better friend a better son and I was
like I’m I’m doing it again and so what
that is called this whole if/then thing
that I’m talking about its effect
forecasting and as humans we are
terrible at predicting future emotions
so my entire life I’ve always believed
if I get X I will feel Y and has never
worked and the solution for me I haven’t
been able to make it go away so the
solution for me is awareness
I’m aware that I do this and I’m gonna
continue to do this but the recovery
time is infinitely better I am NOT
expecting X to make me feel Y for a long
period of time and and that’s kind of
how I’ve been able to deal with it and
so I would say the only two if-then
statements that are a hundred percent
for me is if I pick up a drug or a drink
then I’m going to die and if I live my
life with honor integrity courage and
try to do the right thing and try to be
the best father that I can then I have a
shot at happiness and a shot at living a
good life I’d like to thank you guys for
being here and I look forward to hearing
everyone else [Applause]
week before it came out a friend of mine
an author friend called me up and he
said hey tourney’s like you know just so
you know once you write a book you
automatically become an expert and and I
said wolf or what he’s like whatever
subject matter you wrote on and I was
like so I’m an expert in cocaine hookers
and insider trading and he’s like yeah
pretty much so I’m like going to the
computer saying how do you unpublish a
book and it’s terrified thankfully I’ve
learned a lot about myself since then I
grew up in a small town in Maine a house
heated by a wood stove very very simple
life and and growing up I had the
typical high jinks like drunk driving on
a moped when I was 15 accidentally
peeing on my prom date that was not a
good night a couple of college drunken
arrests but I always managed to either
talk my way out of it or bounce back and
it never seemed to be a problem and so
once I graduated from college I went and
moved back to my parents house for six
months and I was on the couch and I was
saying every single day if I could just
get a job then my life would start and
so I eventually packed up the u-haul it
had a giant Lobster on it said America
moves from Maine I’m wearing LL Bean
boots j.crew jacket and baseball hat and
I’m like let’s do this so I knew I moved
to New York City and the job search does
not improve I cannot get a job so my mom
suggests that I call my uncle the only
thing I knew about my uncle was that he
worked on Wall Street he was between his
second and third wife he went on great
vacations and I figured he might know
someone of influence in PR or magazine
or newspaper so I didn’t prepare what I
was gonna say and I call him off and
between all of my um Zod’s and dead
silence I did manage to to convey that I
needed help finding a job and he says
I’ll call you back in ten minutes
so he calls me back and he’s like got
ten interviews this week I was like for
what he’s like I’ll just say you want to
get into sales I was like okay
so two days later I’m standing in front
of seven World Trade Center in my
Filene’s basement
unti lured suits a stack of resumes and
I’m marching the Lehman Brothers and
walking out onto the trading floor was
was like stepping onto a casino for the
very first time it was the utter
grandness of it all I was just in awe I
did not know what they were doing
but I said I want in and so I went on my
interviews and I eventually got a job at
a place called Morgan Stanley and you
know as a B student from Ohio University
with a journalism degree a 970 SAT I
wasn’t really a candidate for Wall
Street success or even a candidate for
Wall Street Medoc mediocrity so I really
struggled early on and you know my
starting salary was $22,000 a year and I
remember saying to my roommates and
friends when I didn’t even have enough
money for a token to the subway if I
could just make $50,000 a year then all
of my problems would go away and so
during the day I’m sitting next to a guy
from Harvard a woman from Duke and I
have no chance of standing out of my job
I can’t move the needle but what I
figured out was that at happy hour I
could crush the guy from Harvard and I
could crush the woman from Duke they did
not stand a chance and so when the
office lights went out and the city
lights came on that was my time to shine
and that’s how I sort of progressed my
career there were two things that would
happen if you went out with me in my 20s
one at the end of the night you would
say that dude scares me or two you would
say I want to party with him again but
the result was always the same you
remembered my name you remembered that
night and so I was able to kind of
network and move my way up but five
years later I’m still a Morgan Stanley
and I am still an assistant and I’m
saying to myself if I could just be a
traitor
then I would have a career and through
some luck perseverance and my happy-hour
skills I eventually got a job at a hedge
fund called the Galilean group and now
I’m a trader I’m at the bottom of the
totem pole
I don’t know what I’m doing and very
early on in my career I was I was at the
trading to ask by myself nobody was in
the office and the phone rings and I
pick it up and I say galley on and the
guy on the other end of the phone is
whispering he’s like saying something I
was like galley on he goes Jeffries is
gonna upgrade Amazon at 6 minutes click
and so I’m sitting there and I was like
oh my god what what do I do and so I’m
saying to myself okay well if I don’t
buy the stock and it goes up this guy
mr. whispers gonna call my boss looking
for like a high-five or a pat on the
back I’m like but if I buy the stock and
it goes up like isn’t that illegal so
I’m sitting there and I’m looking at my
screen and I don’t know what I should do
so with like a minute laughs I decide
I’m gonna buy a hundred thousand shares
so I buy a hundred thousand shares of
Amazon and exactly at six minutes from
when mr. whisper called my phone rings
and it’s the jeffries light and I pick
it up and he says hey we’re upgrading
Amazon I was like I know and so I hang
up and I’m watching the stock it goes
straight up literally five points in a
minute and I make five hundred thousand
dollars in a minute and I’m saying to
myself if I get this call every day I
won’t be a great traitor and so that’s
not on the moment when I started making
decisions based on consequence not right
and wrong and the things that my parents
taught me growing up and so I started to
progressed in my career and I was out
all the time and and this one night a
broker who covers me is standing next to
me and he’s kind of like hitting my hand
and like he’s playing one potato two
potato and so I opened my hand and he
drops this giant bag of white powder
into my hand so I’m like oh my god oh my
god
so I put in my pocket I don’t know what
to do so I’m just sitting there and
eventually he’s like dude you’re gonna
hit that or what I was like oh yeah yeah
so I go into the bathroom and I take it
out I’m pretty sure it’s cocaine and I’m
like dude do I do the whole thing or
like should I pour in the toilet I I
didn’t know you know as a child of the
80s my only reference to cocaine was in
1985 Len Bias who was drafted by the
Boston Celtics he did cocaine
and he died so in my mind you do cocaine
and you die and so I like kind of like
touched it and put it in my mouth and I
was like put it back in and and I wasn’t
sure what he was gonna do so I go back
out to the bar I’m hanging out and
eventually he’s like dude you got my bag
what I was like oh yeah and so I I
handed it off and so um you know my
relationship with cocaine actually
you know changed dramatically six months
from then everything had changed I
started a new hedge fund billion-dollar
hedge fund called Argus my address
changed my bank account changed the
people I was running around with a
change everything changed so when I was
offered it again you know it didn’t look
so menacing and so I go to the bathroom
and this time I take the key out and I’m
like and do do a couple of bumps and I
was like oh my god this is the greatest
feeling I have ever felt my entire life
It was as if I’d been sleeping for 20
years and it finally woke up and between
the bathroom and going back to the bar I
had this conversation with myself and I
was like this is too good like it’s
going to eventually be a problem because
I feel too good and I loved cocaine like
Leonardo DiCaprio loved rosed in the
Titanic so the next time you’re in the
car and you know Celine Dion comes on
don’t think of the movie think of me and
cocaine like that’s how I felt about
cocaine and you know my addiction goes
much deeper than drugs and alcohol and
I’m gonna give you two quick anecdotes
so on my 34th birthday party I hired a
band called Naughty by Nature to perform
and it’s like 500 people it was out of
control and at the end of the night
these guys that I had flown in from Ohio
that I went to college with came over to
me and they were like Turney they’re
like who are you it’s like what like who
are you and I was like I don’t know
you’re saying and I like we’ve been in
the corner all night talking to random
people and they’re like we you know
tournee
oh my god can you introduce me the
attorney or can you just point you know
turning out and that that feeling of
being adored was just it was better than
crack cocaine and and I wanted to feel
like that over and over and over again
and fast forward a few months I’m on my
couch in my 2700 square foot apartment
and try back home and it’s before online
banking and so I’m I call up the 1-800
chase number and I punch in my account
number and the automated voice goes your
balance is 1,800,000 repeat your balance
is 1,800,000 repeat and I just kept
hitting repeat because the money was
making me feel better in the moment and
there are two themes in my life okay the
first one is I just want to be happy
like I don’t think that’s a tall order I
just want to be happy and I probably
said those words more than any other in
my entire life and the other is if then
if I get X then I’ll feel Y you know if
I get a job that my life can start if I
can make $50,000 a year then all of my
problems would go away if I can get that
promotion then I’ll have a career if I
can get that girl then I’ll be happy
when I made two million dollars I was
saying if I could just make three
million dollars then I will finally be
happy and you know by 2004 I’ve gotten
every single if I had ever put in front
of him you know I got the girl I got the
house I got the apartment I got the bank
account I literally had gotten every
single F and I still was not happy and
so in 2005 I find out that my girlfriend
is pregnant and I say oh my god this is
this is great
I’ve always wanted to be a father this
will stop me from running around the
city like a madman and and I can finally
be you know normal again and by the
second trimester I was back out you know
just running around the city so my
daughter was born in October of 2005 and
so now I was like okay this this is the
moment you know I’m a father like
there’s no way I’m gonna you know kind
of do those things and three days after
she was born I was out of the hospital I
was
this Wall Street cracked and called the
White House and I’m doing cocaine
bragging about how magical it was to be
in the delivery room and you know it was
it was really sort of sort of sad and so
a year later it is October of 2006 and
I’m on the corner of 54th Street and
Park Avenue it’s about 5:00 a.m. still
dark out and I’m doing laps around the
block
I’m chained smoking cigarettes and I’m
trying to figure out how I’m gonna get
out of work I’d called in sick so many
times that if I did it again I was gonna
be fired you know I told them I had SARS
virus West Nile virus you know bird flu
I mean you name it I had it and if I
showed up for work in the state that I
was in I was gonna be fired and so I
decided I’d been mugged
they wouldn’t expect me to work and so
there was this puddle had formed from
the night before and I walk up to it and
I try to kind of throw my body into this
puddle and I don’t know if any of you
have ever tried to fall it’s extremely
difficult so I get up and I do it again
and like I’m slamming my body into the
pavement I get up I’m soaking wet my
pants are ripped and I’m bleeding and
I’m bruised and I limped in into this
hedge fund that I had started people are
terrified and I just go up to the
training tasks I’m like I was mugged and
I turn around and and I walk out and
needless to say 48 hours I was on a
plane to my first drug and alcohol rehab
and my transition back was pretty
seamless um you know my daughter was one
years old so she was happy to have me
back the dogs were excited because I’m
the only one who gives them human food
my girlfriend not so much but she took
me back and Wall Street was like come on
back and so I managed to make it about a
year um and I got this brilliant idea so
I know I’m an addict an alcoholic so I
can’t have one drink I can’t have one
line of cocaine why not one relapse so I
planned this big huge night got a hotel
call my girlfriend said yeah I’m gonna
stay in the city tonight
and I’ll see you tomorrow click and it
was like a one-man bachelor party for 12
hours and you know at the at the end of
that night I’m walking to work and I’m
saying to myself I can do that once a
quarter and then the next day I’m like
can do it once a month right and two
weeks later I’m back in a hotel room and
the wheels just started to come off and
so I ended up back and drug and alcohol
rehab and this time the head of the
rehab told me to decide and he said turn
egos I have a full relapse prevention
program for you I was like give it to me
he said all right this is what you got
to do write a list of seven things that
you have to do in order to pick up again
he’s like number one you know call a
family member to call a sponsor three go
to a meeting for knit a sweater 5 run 5
miles whatever
and I’m looking at this guy and I’m like
if I want to pick up I’m just gonna do
it and he kind of just shrugged his
shoulders and in that moment I realize I
can’t even keep a pact with myself so if
I can’t trust myself who can trust me
and and that’s when I really started to
get honest so I managed to stay sober I
stayed away from Wall Street and 2011
I’m in my apartment and getting along
great with my ex I’m talking and seeing
my daughter every single day all of my
amends went flawlessly and I just got a
big book deal from Random House and I
still wasn’t happy and I was like
something is wrong with me
like if I’m not happy now I’m never
going to be happy and so when to the
computer and I googled the pursuit of
happiness because I wanted to know what
it meant in 1776 when they wrote the
Declaration of Independence and what I
learned was happiness meant honor
integrity how you live your life and so
I decided okay I don’t I don’t even want
to be happy I’m just gonna go for
serenity and ironically since that day
I’ve become more happy and and it’s been
life-changing and so fast forward a year
my books about to come out and there is
some buzz that it might make the New
York Times bestseller less so I’m
sitting there in front of my computer
I’m like oh my god oh my god I’m like if
I if I become a New York Times best
seller then I’ll have this new career
then I’ll finally be happy and then
everything will be perfect
and sure enough you know I made the list
I became a New York Times best seller
the next day I woke up and I was like
nothing has changed being a New York
Times best seller doesn’t make me a
better father it doesn’t make me a
better friend a better son and I was
like I’m I’m doing it again and so what
that is called this whole if/then thing
that I’m talking about its effect
forecasting and as humans we are
terrible at predicting future emotions
so my entire life I’ve always believed
if I get X I will feel Y and has never
worked and the solution for me I haven’t
been able to make it go away so the
solution for me is awareness
I’m aware that I do this and I’m gonna
continue to do this but the recovery
time is infinitely better I am NOT
expecting X to make me feel Y for a long
period of time and and that’s kind of
how I’ve been able to deal with it and
so I would say the only two if-then
statements that are a hundred percent
for me is if I pick up a drug or a drink
then I’m going to die and if I live my
life with honor integrity courage and
try to do the right thing and try to be
the best father that I can then I have a
shot at happiness and a shot at living a
good life I’d like to thank you guys for
being here and I look forward to hearing
everyone else [Applause]
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